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For a long while (ahem, code for way too long) I dated a guy a little younger than me.  And by dated, I mean every Friday night, we would get together after an intense evening partying and make out like wild animals.

We were pretty serious about our business.  We would run off from parties, and cozy up in his car.  We would sneak into my apartment when the roommates weren’t home and make out on my dirty, toothpaste stained sink.  We would frolic through the side streets from parties, making out like bunny rabbits. We would rush up to the bathroom of any party and eat each others faces off. Anywhere we could go in “private,” we would go.

One morning, after a particularly awesome night with my fave younger man, I woke up pretty early to go to the bathroom.  My make out king was sleeping soundly, so I tried not to wake him as I crawled to my demise.  In the bathroom (which conjoined the only two bedrooms in our suite that we all shared), I was welcomed by a bodily fluid surprise.  The entire bathroom was completely painted in urine.   The walls, the ocean scene shower curtain, the toilet seat, the ceiling, the door, the towels, the everything. Covered in urine.

My eyes bugged out, and I stood frozen.  A girl absolutely could not make this happen with the constraint of having a va-jay-jay.  This was a complete man-made mess.  My angry roommate showed up on the other side of the bathroom and gave me a look I would imagine getting before my head was cut off.  Kevin showed up behind me and looked around the bathroom in embarrassment.  I looked up at him slowly and was face-to face with two hickeys the size of Texas.

My roommate snorted from the other end,

“You might want to get some concealer for those marks on your neck…oh and have fun cleaning this up.” Needless to say the romance fizzled after we spent 6 hours bleaching away the smell the his piss.

[You think that's bad? Check out our other cringe-worthy Morning After stories.]

So a few weeks ago, I realized that I, as a fifth year college senior in the midst of a six-month dry spell, had no choice but to join the ranks of these famous females. Naturally, I started to scour the dorms and dining halls for my next victim. I eventually made my first move on a moderately successful, intelligent, sophomore cutie in my Lit class. And, because I am intelligent, mature, honest and amazing in the bedroom (all the reasons young men are said to swoon after older ladies), he instantly fell into my trap.

Needless to say, things have been going along swimmingly with my little stallion. I find his boyish charm, well, charming. I actually enjoy that his face is as smooth as a baby’s bottom and it doesn’t itch when we kiss. I even like that he still thinks that me inviting him back to my house to stay the night after a party is a “first date.” Unlike a lot of my other same-age guy pals, who are now proud owners of beer bellies and have 100 page theses to write, younger guys offer a little window through which I can relive my younger past.

But there are a couple things I’ve noticed about dating a younger man. Because college is old hat to me and I’m (theoretically) a mature woman about to move out into the “real world,” my little cutie and I are not exactly on the same page when it comes to lots of things. Here are a couple minor issues I’ve noticed about dating a younger man that every potential cougar needs to know:

1) He’s still all about racking up the numbers. Young college guys are focused on one thing and one thing only: booty. And lots of it. Enough of it to beat their boys in the booty race. You want a relationship? Maybe the youngsters aren’t for you.

2) He might not have his own cash. Though there is something to be said when your little cutie pulls out daddy’s platinum card to pay for dinner. No complaints here.

3) He’s got a lot to learn. In the classroom, in the bedroom, in life…. This isn’t always a bad thing, but you want to be a girlfriend, not a professor (unless it’s in a role playing scenario).

4) He’s still thinking in the short term. Which is awesome when it means that he doesn’t mind blowing off class and lying in bed all day cuddling with you. However, when you’re about to enter the real world (where smart, successful, single guys are a dying breed), it might feel a little like you’re wasting your time… and your last few years without cellulite.

5) He’s not 21. Which means you are going to have to skip the bars with your friends to shadily chug beers in his dorm room, or worse, elbow your way through a sweaty, smelly frat party full of sweaty, smelly freshmen.

Even though it might sound like I’m bashing the babies, I’m not. Younger guys are still totally datable (or at least, hook-upable). They’ll look up to you, trust that you know what’s best, give you your space, and also be able to keep up with you in the sack. As long as you can handle a few drawbacks (which honestly, what relationship doesn’t have some?), what’s not to love?

Have any of you had experiences with dating younger? Share them in the comments!

When I think back to my high school days, two things come to mind: the prison that was life before getting my license, and the freedom that came with driving out of my garage by myself that very first time.

Listening to Sugar Ray.
With the windows down.
And flipping my parents the bird.

It’s been quite awhile since the boys of Sugar Ray have been on my radar, but much like the Backstreet Boys, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate some of their tune-age now and then (read: always). And now I don’t have to play “Fly” over and over again to get my fix. The guys have reconnected and returned to the studio for their new album, “Music for Cougars.“

I’m no cougar (yet), but I love us some Sugar Ray in the summertime and I’m super pumped to hear what they’ve been working on. I had the chance to chat (and LOL) with some of the boys of the band, so check out what they’ve been up to since the days of “When It’s Over,” because, clearly, it’s not over yet.

5 Questions We Ask Everyone:

1. What is your most hysterical/ridiculous college memory or the most trouble you’ve ever gotten into?

Mark: When I saw Public Enemy in 1988 and Professor Griff called me and my girlfriend out for being White Devils! And, we don’t get in trouble, everrrr, wink wink.
Rodney: Never been in trouble (like, law trouble) and never been to college.

2. Name five things you can’t live without.

Mark: Ruby, Chopper, Lola (my dogs), coca cola and Howard Stern.
Rodney: IPOD/IPHONE, Howard Stern, wife & kids, grass, pets.

3. What’s your motto/advice you live by?

Mark: Life is a highway, I’m gonna ride it all night long!
Rodney: Believe in yourself.

4. What is your favorite song to belt out at the bar/in the car/for karaoke?

Mark: For karaoke: “Bust A Move” by Young MC. For the car: “Easy” by the Commodores. For a bar: “Into the Fire” by Dokken
Rodney: For the car/bar: “Spread your Wings” by Queen. I have never done karaoke!

5. Ten years from now you will be….

Mark: Playing a county fair in Kennewick, WA
Rodney: 52 years old

5 Questions Just for Sugar Ray:

1. What do you miss most about life in college?

Mark: The discovery. Everything was new, you were independent for the first time. etc.

2. What’s with the new album name, Music for Cougars? Can college girls listen to it, too, or should we just be gifting it to our moms?

The title is advising everyone to take a swim in “Lake You.” Everyone can listen to it! And by the way, what’s your mom’s number?

3. Who do you think is the hottest cougar out there?

Mark: Halle Berry
Rodney: Bo Derek

4. Why did you guys decide to return to the studio after all this time?

We organically had an offer from a buddy of ours who got a label deal. It was still all 5 of us after 21 years so we figured, why not be creative again!

5. What can we expect from this new album?

The essence of Sugar Ray… back to traditional summery Sugar Ray.

Things were busy over here, too. We discovered the guys not worth holding onto, and the perfect vibrator that is. We began to understand why crazy sex positions are totally worth it, and why sex on the beach is a must-do for 2009.

We found a totally hot new band that will change the way you think about music, learned the 14 truths about men, and laughed with the funniest ladies out there.

We found out that guys get Brazilians (?), argued the merit of leggings, and filled our entire closet with new clothes….for free!

We took our first trip to the gyno, learned a ton of new euphemisms for sex, and sought out some not-so-obvious places to meet a man. We looked back at our favorite things from middle school.

We hated/loved Facebook.

And we dipped our toes in the Cougar pool.

2008 was a good year. Here’s hoping 2009 can be as much fun (both in the bedroom and out of it).

Did anyone else feel like their world turned upside-down last night, what with NO GOSSIP GIRL ep on the CW? I personally didn’t know what to do with myself, so I worked off my weekly-dose-of-Chace-Crawford- cravings on the elliptical for an hour. Maybe when the season ends, I too can have a Blake Lively body. Yeah right.

Since, sadly, there was no new episode to recap last night, I thought I’d do a brief refresher on what has unraveled so far this season. Feel free to post your fave GG moments of the year below, since there is simply too much for me to fit into one little post!

Nate Archibald

Early season partner: Catherine, the married cougar who turned out to be a Duchess. Nate walked the fine line between “partner” and “prostitute” with Catherine, after Catherine paid off some of Nate’s family’s debt in order to keep her sexy young stallion around.

Mid-season partner: Well… early-mid-season, Nate had a mini-fling with Vanessa, until Catherine scared V off. Then there was the hot Yale girl, who Nate posed as none other than Dan Humphrey for, in order to get into her lofted bed.

Current partner: After Nate kissed Jenny, the internet was ablaze with fans who couldn’t believe the plot twist, due to the real-life age difference between Chace Crawford and baby Taylor Momsen. Nate later bounced, but Jenny still appears to have his heart.

Season Shocker: After Daddy Archibald tries to get Nate to flee to the Dominican Republic, Nate convinces his felon-father to turn himself into the FBI. (And his dad’s tragic mini mustache.)

Blair Waldorf

Early season partner: Marcus, the seemingly boring dude who turned out to be royalty…and Catherine’s stepson…and Catherine’s other lover.

Mid-season partner: B. and Chuck have been playing some of the steamiest love scenes on primetime TV, but they’re currently trying to stay cooled off.

Season shocker: Blair being nice to Jenny on Thanksgiving, after trying ruthlessly to destroy Little J’s budding fashion career as Mrs. Waldorf’s apprentice (ironically, Little J. ended that gig on her own accord).

Serena Van der Woodsen

Early season partner: Nobody. Then Dan again. Then nobody again. Then some loser dude for five minutes, in order to make Danny jeaous. Then nobody again.

Current partner: Aaron, the polygamous art-dude who is willing to try monogamy (and sobriety) with the lovely Miss S.

Season shocker: Serena’s brief stint as the bitchy Queen Bee she used to be.

Chuck Bass

Early season partner: A myriad of nameless women.

Mid-season partner: After a flicker of interest in Vanessa, Chuck must have gotten blue balls from the frequently panty-clad, in-heat Blair Waldorf. But it was his idea for he and B. not to go to the next level.

Season shocker: There are so many to choose from! This has totally been Chuck’s season. I think my favorite woah moment from CB has to be when he told Blair, “I’ve chased you long enough. Now it’s your turn to chase me.” That was so hot.

Jenny Humphrey

Early season partner: Eleanor Waldorf’s design shop. Jenny was pretty much married to it.

Mid-season partner: Model Agnes was lined up to be J’s business partner…until she went crazy and burned Jenny’s dresses on the street. Whoops.

Current partner: Nate, though she doesn’t know it. After telling Vanessa she doesn’t want a guy to come in between their friendship, V stole the love letter Nate wrote to poor, innocent Jenny.

Season shocker: The head-to-toe punk-chic makeover that happened overnight.

Dan Humphrey:

Early season partner: Nobody. Then Serena. Then nobody.

Mid-season partner: There was that bookworm chick that was one of Chuck’s pawn. I don’t even remember what happened with that… mostly because I tend to forget every Dan Humphrey plot line.

Season shocker: Dan opening his mouth and saying something to accidentally get someone else into hot water. Oh wait. That’s expected.

Vanessa Abrams (Yes, she has a last name!)

Early season partner: Nate. Until Catherine blackmailed her to stay away.

Mid-season partner: Sparks seemed to fly between V. and Chuck. Until Blair doused that flame.

Current partner: Nobody. Poor Vanessa. The more she cares for Nate, the more fate prevents her from ever being with him.

Season shocker: Vanessa trying to join the Blackmail Express to get Catherine out of Nate’s life. Of course, Blair is the queen of vengeance, and poor V didn’t quite profit from her attempt at being evil.

The Old People:

Lily and Bart are still together, but after discovering that Bart has files on not only herself, but her kids as well, Lily was last seen crashing Rufus Humphrey’s meager Thanksgiving shindig.

Though he appears to be a master of the espionage, Bart did have a moment of decency after reading Dan’s manuscript, which outlined his strained relationship with Chuck. Will the two develop a real father-son relationship by the end of the season?

Of course, the real geriatric shocker is that Ice Crotch Eleanor Waldorf is engaged to a silly little man with a heart of gold… who also happens to be Aaron-the-Polygamist’s father.

Well, folks, that’s my mid-season wrap up. Throw in some catfights, spilled cocktails, and scantily clad teenagers, and it’s like you didn’t even miss an episode. See you next week as we welcome back our favorite private school heathens!

Cougars. These days, when you read that word somewhere, chances are you’re thinking about the second meaning: a 35+ year old woman who is actively pursuing younger men. It’s a funny, pop-culture obsessed description — some people would even say the cougar label is pro-woman. Older females being appreciated for the beautiful specimens they are! Yes!

Well…some people aren’t so enthusiastic. In fact, three women are so unenthusiastic about being called cougars that they’re suing a TV show for over $1,000,000.

“Attack of the Show,” a reality-based show on G4, went to a SoCal nightclub in 2007 during a segment called “The Great Cougar Hunt.” Three women were featured in the segment, and these three women now claim they never gave permission to be shown on camera nor were they “actively searching for younger men.”

Apparently these ladies have been so mortified, hurt, wronged, etc that they simply cannot go on with their lives until someone pays them a lot of money.

What do you think? Is being called a Cougar hurtful enough to warrent a lawsuit?

If there’s one thing I already knew, it’s that when you’re the poor, unpopular kid on the Upper East Side, your life will be a continuous cycle of being walked over, speaking your mind, putting your foot in your mouth, and then being magically forgiven and allowed to advance to the next round.

Did you miss last night’s episode? Let me fill you in.

Within the first minute of GG, Nate mentions the inevitable party that will tangle everyone up in some drama that will continue to be played out next week.

Other expected GG staples: Catherine and Nate talk money; Serena and Dan are together but have issues (did I miss them deciding to be a “secret” couple?); and Jenny has some great ideas for her fashion internship, but she’s a lowly intern and isn’t allowed to have opinions.

The best thing about the first half? The mini gossip girls who approach Dan and throw in their two cents. If you missed it, two tweeny-bopping brunettes are on Dan’s side, and one tweeny-bopping blond is on team S. The blond asks Serena how she can kiss Dan, knowing his tongue has been in Georgina’s mouth, which seems a bit much when you consider the girs were, what, 11? The tweensters were obviously comic relief, but for some reason their opinions caused an awkward rift between S and Lonely Boy…which I was over by the next commercial.

The real hotness revolves around Chuck and Blair for the third consecutive week. Chuck, like most high school boys, has a string of call girls filing in and out of his room, but can’t seem to perform. Dr. Ruth–I mean, Serena–suggests it’s because all he really cares about is B., which prompts Chuck to seek out a tryst with Blair so he can use her as “sexual Drain-o” to unclog his pipes.

At the party, Chuck and Blair have their weekly sexual-tension infused interaction, which started out pretty hot, but then got a little creepy…but still pretty hot. (Editor’s Note: SO hot.) Here’s another question: why can’t Blair, last season’s token virgin, suddenly go without sex? I mean, she was with Nate since freaking kindergarten and kept her chastity belt on, but now she’s like a dog in heat around Marcus. Which, of course, our favorite Duchess, Catherine, can smell immediately.

Now, it’s time to learn our life lessons from the crew. Nate really likes Vanessa, but Vanessa discovers his affair with Catherine. Dear Nate, when someone you like asks you if you are sleeping with a cougar, don’t justify it with, “She’s giving me money.” Horny Blair invites Marcus upstairs, only to finally lock lips with Chuck. Dear Blair, when your boyfriend walks in on you making out with someone else, the excuse, “I thought he was you,” won’t fly.

Of course, this is Gossip Girl world, so Vanessa likes Nate even more, and Marcus is finally ready to nail Blair.

Oh, in the meantime, Jenny got fired by Mrs. Waldorf, then rehired. Because that’s what Jenny does. And Serena and Dan broke up, but they really still love each other. Because that’s what Serena and Dan do. And Catherine “doesn’t like to share her toys. Especially when she’s paid for them.” So she blackmails Vanessa to leave Nate alone. Because that’s what rich, horny cougars who get to ride Chace Crawford do.

Gossip Girl. Everything you missed in high school, wrapped into 42 minutes of Monday night television. I love it.

Please, please go away.

I’m not asking much. I’m just really tired, Hogans. I’m really, really tired of seeing your creepy mugs (and arms and abs…Linda, cover it up!) all over the place, doing and saying more ridic things by the minute.

So, like, two years ago, you were happily filming VH1′s Hogan Knows Best. You seemed like a normal enough family. Hell, that was the whole premise.

And then, It Began.

First there was the separation. Linda and Hulk, I thought you guys were forever! Well, frankly, I was sorry to hear it. I felt bad for you that things had gone awry.

Then Nick got in an accident. At the tender age of 17, he had his first precious DUI.  Not only that, but he managed to take out his best friend, putting him into a lifetime coma. It is a very sad story. However, Nick didn’t seem to feel bad for his friend at all. In fact, he has been too busy whining about jail and how awful it is. Yes, jail is horrible. That’s the idea. Don’t drive drunk and ruin your friend’s life.

But, look, he’s a kid. Not only that, he’s a celeb kid. I figured maybe he just needed a little tough love.

But then – THEN – Linda, you said you had it worse than the other boy’s mom! Your son is in jail for a few months, Lin. The other boy will never recover. I can’t even believe you thought it, no less said it out loud for all the world to hear.

And then (Hulk) some remarks were made about this situation making both Nick and the other boy better people! Honey. HONEY. THE OTHER BOY WILL NEVER RECOVER. And it’s not his fault Nick was driving a bajillion miles an hour with alcohol in his system. How is he benefiting from this situation at all?

In the meantime, Hulk finds himself applying sunscreen to his daughter’s private parts, all while dating little Brookey’s doppleganger, Jennifer McDaniel. Hulky! Why are you perving on your offspring?! Haven’t you got enough trouble?

And Linda is dating a 12-year-old. Okay, fine, he’s 19. But he also happens to be a former classmate of Brooke and Nick’s, just one grade below B and one above N.

And, yes, that’s gross, but Brooke! How can you speak out against your mom like that and then add a passive-aggressive assertion of support? Brooke, you haven’t done anything that wrong. You’re certainly the least offensive of the Hogan bunch right now, and, frankly, that scares me, because, you attempted to make it as a pop star.

In conclusion, you’re all terribly frightening and I wish you’d go away.

Also, please stop with the buffed out Aryan gig. We get it already.

Love and pleas for mercy,

Sara

[Photo courtesy of http://www.hilaryshepherd.com]

…..by this guy! Gabriel Aubrey!

He’s hot, Canadian and 10 years younger than Halle, who is 41 and the hottest cougar of ‘em all.

Ever since the news of her pregnancy broke, people have been even more curious about Gabriel Aubrey, whose name even sounds model-ish. He’s got a pretty face, but what’s he like? How did he meet Halle? What do they have in common!

The public needs to know!

If you Google him, he’s more tied to her name than anything else so there must be some dirt?

You will find that all sites can agree he is a “hunkstar,” whatever the hell kind of stupid word that is.

Hmmm. I wonder if the baby will be attractive?

Check out Gabriel’s hottness after the jump!

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