So sexy. I feel dirty.

As I sit here typing these words the world of Twitter is having a major meltdown over Justin Bieber’s new haircut. (PopEater has all the details for you right here.) Some fans have stopped following him. Others only love him more. And some unnamed college bloggers have finally begun too see why it is girls melt at the sight of the boy hidden behind that huge head of hair…

And while I’m sure Biebs (and his hairdresser) appreciate the sentiment, I can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, there are bigger things to freak out over than the Bieb’s cutting his hair even if it is a really flattering haircut. And I’m not even talking about things outside the realm of Bieberverse. (If last week’s Glee taught me anything it’s that you can’t mess with the power of the Biebs.) I’m talking about all things Bieber related. If his haircut is this big of a deal, can you imagine the way his fans will react when these things start happening?

He gets his first signs of facial hair. Can you picture the Biebs with a mustache? Some scruff? Maybe a 5 o’clock shadow? I’m very curious to find out if he’s the manscaping type or if he’ll go all wilderness guy scruff on his fans. (I can’t see many 12-year-old girls going for that, but that sign of manhood would help me feel a little better about my inappropriate day dreams…)

He gets himself some muscle definition. If girls are freaking out this much over the Biebs getting a new haircut, I can only imagine what they’ll do when he finally starts hitting the gym. Picture Bieber’s face with Taylor Lautner’s (he is legal) abs. Read More »

Cougars. These days, when you read that word somewhere, chances are you’re thinking about the second meaning: a 35+ year old woman who is actively pursuing younger men. It’s a funny, pop-culture obsessed description — some people would even say the cougar label is pro-woman. Older females being appreciated for the beautiful specimens they are! Yes!

Well…some people aren’t so enthusiastic. In fact, three women are so unenthusiastic about being called cougars that they’re suing a TV show for over $1,000,000.

“Attack of the Show,” a reality-based show on G4, went to a SoCal nightclub in 2007 during a segment called “The Great Cougar Hunt.” Three women were featured in the segment, and these three women now claim they never gave permission to be shown on camera nor were they “actively searching for younger men.”

Apparently these ladies have been so mortified, hurt, wronged, etc that they simply cannot go on with their lives until someone pays them a lot of money.

What do you think? Is being called a Cougar hurtful enough to warrent a lawsuit?

I feel it is time, time to LEARN, time to take notes….whip out your index cards, your recorders, your brilliant memory and LISTEN: Cougars, know shit we don’t.

If you disagree with me, all I’m going to say is…..if you could bag Ashton Kutcher would you??? RIGHT. So don’t argue with me, we all would. Demi could teach us a lesson or two, or eight.

Us twenty somethings DIDN’T “bag” Kutcher, a cougar did, since cougars have tricks we should add to the “bag” in order to…. “bag.” (Insert cheesy joke here, I couldn’t help myself.)

Obviously, we’ll never be able to compete with time, since, that’s science and time is an uncontrollable factor. However, if we are SMART, we’ll take some of the vampy COUGAR tricks in order to ooze absolute sex appeal, without having to wear “Mom jeans” (if you don’t know “Mom jeans”, look at your mothers flat, heart shaped ass and tell me how much that ISN’T cougar material.)

If we are smart, we already have a step up, since hey, we don’t have to worry about age defying wrinkle cream, menopause, gray hairs…and shit (the “and shit” was added for my immature emphasis.)

So what is a “Cougar” anyway, you ask??

A Cougar: A babe beyond 40. Sex drive on HIGH. Heels, on HIGH. Hair, on HIGH, with the assistance of Aqua Net, and BOOBS, up HIGH.

But most importantly…CONFIDENCE at a soaring dangerous level of: HIGH. Read More »

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