I remember watching Say Anything with my sister when I was a kid and wondering if all men were as sweet as Lloyd Dobbler, standing outside a girl’s house with a boom box over his head. Obviously I had a rude awakening when I got to dating age and realized that high school guys were actually kinda jerks. I never got a big romantic gesture, Valentines, or even a cute note in class.

After meeting Matt in college and falling in love, I realized that those high school boys were still pretty eh, but I also learned that it doesn’t take some grand romantic gesture to be a sweet guy. It’s all the little things Matt does for me that really mean the most.

Last week I was in Wisconsin for my grandpa’s funeral. Since it was such short notice, my mom couldn’t afford to fly Matt up with me so he stayed at home while I was gone for a week. When I finally returned to Texas, I was coming down the elevator at the airport to meet him and he walked up the escalator just so he could give me a kiss and a hug a little bit earlier. He totally swept me off my feet, and with him just being his usual impatient self.

I’ve learned that guys don’t really like the big romantic gestures because most of the time they’re afraid they’ll either: A. screw it up somehow, B. embarrass themselves, C. get rejected, or D. all of the above. So honestly, the big romantic things are pretty rare, and while that means they should still be valued when they DO come along, you have to pay attention and enjoy the smaller things.

I for one love to get the random text at 2 in the afternoon that just says “i love you” when I’ve been having a bad day. It turns my entire day around from crappy to awesome. Or when Matt lets me have the last Dr. Pepper in the fridge. Such a gentlemen! I’ve learned not to expect amazing over-the-top romantic nights from Matt and I’m perfectly happy with that. As women we need to stop putting so much pressure on men to be romantic when just letting them be them can make us so much happier. Read More »

"I love beer....er... I mean you. I love you."

It’s pretty obvious that couples who share interests get along better. But what about vices? Does a love of trashy reality TV or boozing it up on the weekends make for a stronger pair? Yes, according to a study done by the University of Buffalo. In fact, the happiest couples of all are those with a shared love of hitting the bottle.

Basically, the couple who boozes together, cruises together.

That’s great news to us college students who love drinking almost as much as dating (okay, maybe we love it a little more). But now combining the two is a good thing? This is heaven to our horny, drunk ears. And, when you think about it, it all makes perfect sense:

Alcohol eases tension. What do we all do when we’re having a bad day/fuming mad? Yes, we pour ourselves a drink (then eat a brownie) and suddenly everything feels better. So obviously fights go away quicker in relationships when both couples love a little booze. You start fighting, you start drinking and soon no one remembers what you were fighting about in the first place.

Alcohol makes us tolerant. People are 50 times less annoying when we have a buzz on. The way he chomps on his food may drive you up the wall normally, but with some alcohol in our systems, those little pet peeves aren’t nearly as annoying. They might even be kinda cute (see #5 below). Read More »

"...I just farted."

I am pretty confident in my long-term relationship knowledge. Actually, at this point, I am pretty much an expert, as I am going on 8 years.

Yes, I heard the gasp. Someone just dropped her plate. Someone else is chocking on her Ramen. It isn’t common that you come across a college girl who is one half of a committed relationship, especially one with their high school sweetheart. But here I am. I do exist.

That being said, I know what it means to be a “real” couple. I’ve gone from the butterflies and blushing to knowing what he is thinking without even saying a word. We’ve been at this so long we’ve hit every milestone….more than once. And I’m talking about them all, from the biggies (like the first Valentine’s Day to meeting the parents) to the ones that people often forget, but which are the actual gauges of how serious your relationship really is.

The Fart
Undoubtedly one of the most important markers (and most disgusting, might I add) is farting. Yes, I had a couple excruciating years of holding them in every time we were together, and if one slipped out on accident I immediately blamed the dog. But there comes a point where you are comfortable enough with the other person to just let em’ rip  (of course my boyfriend probably wishes I was not this comfortable, but that’s besides the point). Read More »

She loves him, but will she love me?!

I remember the first weekend I went home with my boyfriend; it was the dreaded “introduce-my-girlfried-to-my-mom-and-hope-they-don’t-hate-each-other” weekend. Matt kept telling me his mom was a really nice woman and that she’d love me, but I was terrified. She already knew that I was having “explicit relations” with her son, and she’s retired Navy, so I had convinced myself that I was walking into a deathtrap.

All I really had to go on were my friends and family members who had HORRIBLE experiences with boyfriend’s/husband’s moms. My mother and my grandmother can’t be in the kitchen together without someone trying to hit the other with a frying pan. My sister was called a whore by her religious future mother-in-law the first time they met because she had brought a Cosmo along for the 6 hour drive to meet her. Even my good friend Sarah’s boyfriend’s mom hates her because Sarah’s dog bit her on their first meeting.

So it took a lot of convincing from my dear BF to stop my hands and voice from shaking before walking into the house to meet his momma. (Too bad he couldn’t assist with the pit stains that had formed in my fit of fear…)

And low and behold, we got along great!!!! I was so thankful! We were both theatre and band kids in high school, we both like crafty things (knitting, crocheting, sewing, etc), and we even have the same taste in movies and TV. When we left, Matt told me that he could tell his mom really liked me. Read More »

Last Friday night, I decided to have a girl’s night because, let’s face it, living in a one bedroom apartment with a guy can take a toll on one’s femininity. It was so much fun, and it was a great ending to a really crappy week. But after living with my boyfriend I noticed that even girls night has changed.

First of all, sometimes I feel boring and old. All of my friends are sitting there, sipping on beers sharing stories about their latest crushes, their crazy hook ups from last weekend, or the hot guy who bought them a drink at the bar. And me? I’m sitting there thinking, “The most exciting thing to happen to me this week was that Matt found five dollars and bought me a Dr. Pepper with it.” I feel like the mom of the group! It’s lame being the one who talks about the same guy all the time when all your friends are talking about the flavor of the month (or week, in some girls’ cases). Sometimes I feel like my friends think I’m no fun anymore, and while I know I shouldn’t care about what other people think of me as long as I’m happy, deep down it bothers me. Read More »

There’s a reason kids on tricycles get their asses kicked; no one likes a third wheel.

Yet time and time again, as coupled people attempt to prove that they have not fallen victim to the anti-social-eat-Chinese-food-while-cuddling-on-the-couch behavior long associated with relationships, you somehow end up third-wheeling it up night after night. While kudos should be given for the attempt to reach out to their relationship challenged friends, couples are either oblivious to or choosing to ignore the fact that watching them make lovey eyes at each other while you pound down more Jack and Diets than the bartender can serve up is not exactly an ideal Saturday night.

And that is only one of the many reasons three is a crowd: Read More »

Originally, I was going to write an empowering and witty article about all the physical and mental benefits of being single.  Then I started my research and found…there were none.  Seriously.  Every study points in exactly the opposite direction.  Apparently, the healthiest thing we can do is get married.  Like, immediately.

Not gonna lie, I was kinda disappointed when I found out.  But then I reconsidered…maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get married right now, especially considering all these health benefits.  I could even print out the list and slap it down on the desk of that gorgeous guy in my photography class, saying “Eh? Eh? C’mon, it’s healthy.”  He won’t be able to resist, obviously.

In case you plan on executing a ninja-style attack on a cute guy like I do (that is, in fact, how I pick up all my boyfriends), I’ve made you a handy-dandy list of reasons to print out and share with your friends and crushes.  So here you go – all the reasons and benefits of getting married NOW! Read More »

I’ve never quite understood the idea of having a “type” when it comes to dating. Favorite ice cream flavor? Sure. Favorite type of guy? Not so much. Perhaps this is because I’ve gone out and hooked up with a lot of different kinds of men, and I’ve found myself equally attracted to guys of varying ages, races, heights, and builds.

It’s puzzling to me, then, why I’ve encountered so many people who stick to a preferred physical type. I’m not talking about broad categories as much as I am about specific traits, such as hair and eye color or, more to the point, race. On the dating site OkCupid, for example, users can search for potential matches by filtering the database with specific criteria, including ethnicity.

I’m not even going to get into whether dating someone based solely on looks is a good or bad thing (because that would constitute a whole column of its own), but I have friends who exclusively date a particular type, be it black men, Asian women, or the ever-popular Abercrombie model. Some say, “But I’m just not attracted to Asian/Black/White guys.” Others claim they’ve never met a person they wanted to date outside their race. Unfortunately, if variety is the spice of life, then there are a lot of people out there dating the same bland types over and over again. Read More »

I’ve been single for a really, really long time. Like, super long. Super duper long. I’ll put it to you plainly: the last time I had a BF, Jordin Sparks was still competing on American Idol.

Yeah.

Not that I mind being single – I have actually gotten quite used to it – I just worry that spending so much time depending on myself and myself only has sorta made me….too single.

I don’t remember what it’s like to be in a relationship anymore; to answer to someone else, to plan around someone else, to make decisions with someone else. I sleep in the middle of my bed – and I hog all the pillows. I spend my evenings with takeout food and TLC reality shows that no guy would ever watch. I sometimes go days without washing my hair and months without getting a wax. I devote any and all time to hanging out with my friends. I take out my own garbage and buy my own drinks.

I change my own flat tires.

I enjoy being a truly independent woman, but I am starting to wonder if all that “I can do it”-ness is preventing me from finding someone. If my contentedness is preventing me from actually getting out there and bringin’ home a boy. Well, a boyfriend. I have gotten quite good at just bringing home a boy. Read More »

“My Boyfriend” is a phrase many of us single ladies would like to add to our vocabulary.

Some of us are the Charlottes who are happy knowing at the end of the day there is a guy that will be thinking about us before we fall asleep. Some of us are the Samanthas who are happy knowing we have a guy we can shag before we fall asleep. Ahh, and then there are those in between-ers like myself. We want someone to love and shag us before we tuck in for the night.

Whichever category you fall into, it’s no wonder we’re all looking for that special person to “complete” us.

Having a boyfriend brings about a sense of pride and accomplishment. It gives us all feelings of worth, self esteem and validation. Oh, and a serious case of the butterflies.

As sad as that may be, it’s the truth. Sure, the powerful and independent woman can find all of that on her own, but the fact is we’ve been taught our whole lives to want a boyfriend. Case in point: romantic movies. Those friggin’ things don’t do jack sh!t for a single girl besides motivate those starry-eyed expectations of how the majority of real guys act. Homegirl, I’m not talkin’ only about movies along the lines of “The Notebook” either. Those Disney Princess movies of carpet rides and glass slippers laced our childhood hopes of boyfriends with metaphorical crack before we got our training wheels off.

So yes, I want a boyfriend! You want a boyfriend! Your dog wants a boyfriend! Read More »