Forever a dreamer, I have lived through movies. I wanted to change the bad boy like Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions. I wanted a wardrobe like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. And mostly, I wanted to dance my way to sex like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing (and not in the frat party/grinding sorta way).

Keep dreaming, right?

However, after spending lots of time analyzing my favorite movies, I’ve realized that it’s not so hard for the everyday man to create a movie moment in everyday life. Sure, finding a Leonardo DiCaprio to sketch my naked body on a sinking ship might be hard (and not ideal considering the ending), but many of the most romantic gestures in movies aren’t so hard to manage, even without a script: Read More »

"No, I wuv you more, honey bunny on a farm."

We’ve all heard them. They’re that annoying couple on the subway, the friends you cringe when out in public with, hell, you might even BE one of them some day. Who are these people? Let me introduce you.

“Oh smoochey wumpkins, are you weady for your sweepy times?”

Say hello to the baby talkers.

It is a well-known fact that certain people, when speaking with a significant other, resort to a form of speech better reserved for infants and puppy-dogs. I’m embarrassed to admit that I, myself, have become a baby talker. I don’t know how it started, but conversations with my boyfriend have gone from intelligent, grown-up topics to a mess of squeaky voices and poor vocabulary.

My question is why? What motivates two seemingly put-together adults to resort to toddler-speak the second they fall in love? Maybe it’s because we know each other so well by this point that we have run out of topics for adult conversations, or maybe we’re just too lazy to use proper grammar.

Believe it or not, research has been done on baby talk in romantic relationships, and I’m happy to put my psychology degree to use interpreting it for you. Meredith Bombar and Lawrence Littig found that baby-talkers may be doing something right! They were more secure and less avoidant in their relationships. They propose that this is because baby talk plays a role in creating warm emotional connections. Baby talk allows individuals to abandon adult roles and become vulnerable, nurturing, endearing and silly. Read More »

There’s a reason kids on tricycles get their asses kicked; no one likes a third wheel.

Yet time and time again, as coupled people attempt to prove that they have not fallen victim to the anti-social-eat-Chinese-food-while-cuddling-on-the-couch behavior long associated with relationships, you somehow end up third-wheeling it up night after night. While kudos should be given for the attempt to reach out to their relationship challenged friends, couples are either oblivious to or choosing to ignore the fact that watching them make lovey eyes at each other while you pound down more Jack and Diets than the bartender can serve up is not exactly an ideal Saturday night.

And that is only one of the many reasons three is a crowd: Read More »

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, Valentine’s Day can be a pretty annoying holiday. If you’re single, you can either end up pouting in your room with a King Sized Reese’s or getting set up with some rando to take you out on a potentially awkward date. (My advice? Forget the whole thing and go have fun with your friends.)

When you’re in a relationship, however, a whole new set of problems can arise. For instance, is there really a romantic gift out there that you can give to your guy without freaking him out or insulting is masculinity? Just like in any other case, the best gifts in life are free and usually involve sex. For those of us who like to go the extra mile, I’ve compiled a list of spicy activities that you and your guy can enjoy together. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Bust out the edible massage oil – What guy doesn’t like a massage? And what girl doesn’t love sweets (especially when licking it off their boyfriend’s hot bod)? I like to think that this activity combines the two best activities out there. You can even make your own massage oil from random things laying around the house. Plus, there is a high chance that your boyfriend will reciprocate your affection (in more than one way) by the time the night’s through.

Cook a romantic dinner in aprons. Nope, no clothes. Just aprons. – The more romantic, delicious, and lickable the food you make together, the better. I like the idea of dipping fresh strawberries in a home-made chocolate fondue. Add some champagne, mood lighting, and chocolate body painting and you’re in business. Read More »

I’m going to be completely honest with you. Sex toys kinda intimidate me. Getting that close to something mechanical doesn’t just sound uncomfortable, it also seems a little dangerous (electric shock? No thank you.) There’s so many different kinds of sex toys out there I’m almost too scared to look. And introducing a sex toy to the bedroom? Probably one of the top ten most awkward conversations you could ever have.

If you have similar feelings towards sex toys, this is your lucky day, as I have decided to do all the research for you. I have sifted through the most peculiar of sex toys (seriously, check out the Micro Vibe Tiger and the Safari) to bring you my top 5 reasonably tame, couple-friendly toys. If you’ve tried any of these or have some other personal faves, puh-lease don’t hesitate to share!

Her Pleasure Vibrating Finger Massager – Of course this can be used in the fashion of a normal vibrator (use your imagination), but what I like about it is the versatility. It can really be used to stimulate any body part during foreplay or during sex – the possibilities are pretty much endless. Plus, it’s a pretty safe toy to bring into the bedroom without offending your guy or insulting his skills. Read More »

From the time I was 18 until I was 25, I was almost always in a relationship. So when I moved to New York City in the Fall of ’04 to pursue my dreams, I welcomed being single with open arms. This was a time for me to be me and not Jess Connected to Someone Else. I was 3,000 miles away from everything and everyone I’d ever known and was chasing my dreams. This was my time to shine.

The first year was great. I delved myself into my studies, my social life in and out of school, and working. I was too busy for a boyfriend and I had countless experiences and made countless friends that I probably wouldn’t have if I’d been in a relationship at the time. I got to dive head first into the fashion and social world of NYC, something I’d only thought could happen on TV and had experiences where I often found myself asking, “Who am I and how the heck did I get here?”

As year two of being single came along, I was a little more antsy about finding someone, not to mention a tad embarrassed that I’d been in New York (a city of millions) for over a year and couldn’t find someone to snuggle with. But I was still livin’ the life and accepting my singledom.

Year three came and went – without a boy – and now that I’ve hit the four year mark, well it can be downright depressing.

I’ll admit it, having been single for four years has taught me a lot about myself and my personal independence: how much stronger I am (emotionally, mentally and physically) than I ever thought, and how I truly can make it on my own. In that same breath, though, it’s been extremely tough and oftentimes makes me question my self-worth: what could possibly be wrong with me that I can’t find a boyfriend? What am I doing that scares men off? I’ve gained a bit of weight, could that be the problem? Read More »

Like I said, I’ve been in a relationship with my guy for over four and a quarter years. And it’s awesome.

As an example, allow me to share with you an anecdote of undeniable cute proportions:

(BACKGROUND: I’m Jewish, he’s Asian-American, we’re both tattooless.)

We were on a double date with my friend and his coworker, who we’d set up. They both have a lot of tattoos, and my friend said to my boyfriend, “Do you have any tattoos?” He put his arm around me and said, “Oh, we don’t have tattoos–we’re Jewish.”

The point is, we are a team. We are not attached at the hip, but we do a lot of things together. So it only stands to reason that, after years and years of dating, Friday nights often end up as dinner and renting a movie. After all, it’s impossible to plan over 4 years worth of consistently creative dates. And we’re not big drinkers and we’re not drug users, so that eliminates blitzing the night away. And, frankly, we’re getting older (he’s 26, I’ll be 24 in a month)–we can’t keep acting like indie film loving hipster kids forever.

So here, for your benefit (and mine–seriously), I’ve compiled a list of date ideas for the not-so-new couple that still really digs each other. May you put them to good use. Read More »

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »

You know it’s wrong, but when you see your ex across the room for the first time since the big breakup/clothing exchange, rollin’ around in the sheets seems like the best idea in the world. You convince yourself that it will be fun, just this once, and that you both know what the deal is so there is nothing to lose.

But there is. And even the dudes agree.

If you are considering Ex Sex, read on. No one – male or female – thinks it’s a smart move. And trust us; we too thought it was brilliant at one point, but we learned our lesson and you should learn from it too.

He Said:

When you first break up, hooking up with your ex seems like the best thing possible, a naughty glimmer of hope in a dark sea of suckitude. What was your stupid girlfriend suddenly blooms into a beacon of sexiness. She dresses better, smiles more, never grills you about hanging out with your boys, doesn’t complain about what you’re wearing–even her boobs look bigger! It’s like breaking up was exactly what your mutual sex life—and your relationship–needed.

But it’s a trap.

A number of outcomes are likely. First, if it lasts more than a couple of hot nights, you soon fall back into the same, frustrating routines. Instead of just hooking up, you’re going to dinner with her grandma and shopping for crap you don’t care about. The arguing starts, and she’s once again lost that certain something. Basically, you’re back together-whether you admit it or not–and it sucks just as much as it did in the first place. Read More »

You know those people that always seem to be in love? Annoying, right? But even more annoying, and frustrating, are those people that not only love freely but have their sentiments reciprocated. They bounce from one long-term, healthy relationship to another seamlessly, never regretting the past or even pausing for a good cry and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

And they make the rest of us look like emotionally immature, sexually frustrated, constantly single idiots.

But hey, you know what? Single’s not the worst thing. Because beneath the sun-touched, crystal-blue emotional coastline of those happy loving couples, there are gloomy storms. There are flashes of suspicious lightning and sudden tidal waves that crush the fishing canoes of stability on the rocks of impatience. There are the riptides of boredom that drown the surfers of passion. There is a dead seagull in the reeds, and it is gross and smelly.

Sexy and Stressed-out

One rather obvious downside of monogamy is that it isn’t polygamy. You can’t just go jumping every pile of bones in sight. And that might not a downside to some, since a sudden increase in sexual partners can turn your genitals into a giant bullseye for emotional instability, STDs and scary unwanted babies. But even if you aren’t planning on turning your dorm room into an all-hours Orgy 101 lab section, a monogamous relationship can turn even the most innocent girl-boy relationships into a nervous stressfest.

Maybe you’re visiting the guy you’ve been chums with since second grade, when you broke your hand launching your Big Wheel off of ramps you begged your dad to build. Maybe you’re going to catch a movie with an old friend who didn’t just bring his girlfriend — he brought the engagement ring to show off, too. Maybe he brought his boyfriend. The most physically intimate act you might commit is a badass fist-pound when you cut some guy off at a light. And yet, when you turn your cell phone back on, you’ve got four missed calls, a jittery text saying “were r youu!!!” and a voicemail that’s nothing but incoherent, angry sobs. And you’d say it’s paranoid and crazy, but at the same time, you know you’d be doing the same thing if he were having “a movie night with Katie” or whatever. People in relationships get protective, and it’s easy for that to damage long-standing — often longer-standing than the relationship — heterosexual friendships. Read More »