It’s a common comment made in romantic comedies. The longer you are in a relationship, the less you have sex. Turns out, according to a new study by researches at the University of Guelph in Ontario, women’s decreasing sex drive is to blame.

Yes, over time women lose interest in having sex. Men, on the other hand, don’t. Sarah Murray and Robin Milhausen surveyed 170 undergraduates (men and women) that had been in heterosexual relationships for at least one month. They asked participants to rank their relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction and sexual desire at the present point in their relationship. The researchers created a Female Sexual Function Index to rank desire from 1.2 to 6.0.

While most of the participants were satisfied with both their relationships and their sex lives, research showed the longer a women had been in a relationship, the less interest she had in getting it on. Sexual desire on the Index drops by 0.02 points each month. Though it is incremental, for people in long term relationships it does add up. Male sexual desire alternatively, remains steady throughout a relationship.

Researchers haven’t yet nailed the cause for the general decrease in desire among women. Some theories are that women’s attention turns towards raising children, decreasing their interest in sex. As they looked at university students, another theory emerged that younger women lose interest once the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship over. Yes, once a guy stops trying to impress a gal, she’s going to stop putting out.

The researchers hope that this information could help couples from losing the spark. They also found that women with realistic expectations about sex did not face the same decrease in desire.

So there you have it boys! If you want us ladies to keep getting it on with you, you might want to drop the whole “I’m going to blow your mind,” act and be realistic. Also, presents help.

Leah is in her final semester of her Bachelor of Journalism at Ryerson University in Toronto. She’s rounding out her degree as the Senior Online Editor for the Ryerson Review of Journalism. In her limited spare time she’s honing her cupcake making skills so she can one-day fulfill her dream of competing on Cupcake Wars. Follow her (and drool over her tasty treats) @ElleandBee.

[Image via altafulla/Shutterstock]

A relationship often requires a bit of sacrifice and a lot of compromise. We all have to learn to accept and roll with aspects of our partner, or his/her life, that we don’t always understand or necessarily agree with. That’s called maturity, right? And building intimacy? I think…Now, those things aside there comes a point where you might just need to say “Hell no!” and walk off into the freedom of singledom again. Here are 11 things that no woman should ever put up with in a relationship…

initiating the gallery...

There you have 11 things that no woman should ever put up with in a relationship. Some more severe than others, perhaps. And I’ll admit to a bit of personal bias on a few of them. My question to you, ladies, is which of these HAVE you put up with in the past? Which haven’t you? What are your deal breakers? What are your big no-no’s? Spill all in the comments below and let’s making this a learning experience for everyone. Silence need not fall.

Handling the truth,

The Dude

I’m the Dude with a blue box called the Tardis that allows me to explore the ends of time and space-wait that’s another guy with a ‘D’ sounding name isn’t it? Better than that, I’m a Dude that knows the inner workings of Dudes and I’m ready to spill all, whether you’re ready or not. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com.

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

Now that the Winter-Break-calm-after-finals-hell storm has settled in and you’ve caught up on all your laundry and CW dramas, grab a spiked hot apple cider and all yo’ single ladies for the next lesson of single life.

Lesson 3: Don’t feel sorry for yourself over the holidays!

Of course it would be amazing to magically wake up this Christmas morning in the arms of a Ryan Gosling clone to mimosas for breakfast with a side of the newest Marc Jacobs handbag as the first of many gifts to come. But if your holiday season is shaping up to be anything like mine, the heartwarming scene of breakfast and a boyfriend in bed is not likely this year. But there’s no need to feel sorry for me or for yourself – instead appreciate the silver lining and be glad you don’t have to stress over another gift to buy.

As your attached girlfriends drag you to the mall to help them pick Christmas presents for their significant others for the third time this week, it’s easy to feel singled out. (Pun intended.) I’ve been there. So after the mall you go home, crank the Mariah Carey Christmas album and intermittently sob while you sing the lyrics to “All I Want For Christmas Is You.”

Oh wait, that’s just me?

There’s just something about this gift-giving season that makes every couple more affectionate than usual. I mean, do you ever see couples go this PDA-crazy for Veteran’s Day? Maybe it’s the cold weather that makes couples everywhere feel the need to vertically spoon in public places or maybe it’s just the Christmas spirit; either way Christmas is like crack for couples. They love it. And you know what? I’m all for it. Go ahead! Embrace each other this holiday season – could you just not do it in front of the counter at Starbucks while I wait in line behind you?

Sure, the winter holidays are a great time to be in a relationship but remember that it’s not mandatory. Christmas is not Valentine’s Day. It’s not just for couples and it’s not the end of the world if you’re spending it without someone “special.” And Christmas is just one day. Though it doesn’t seem like it right now as people gear up for the holiday, putting up lights, buzzing around the mall and fighting with the post office over shipping costs – all the hype is for one day. So don’t get hung up on spending one day, which just happens to be Christmas, alone.

The holidays are what you make of them. The more you feel sorry for yourself that you don’t have anyone to share them with, the more you take away from the fun you could be having instead. My advice this holiday season? Surround yourself with family and friends if you can; but if you cant or if you’ve already had enough family “fun” this season, don’t be afraid to make your own version of Christmas!

Watch your favorite movies even if they aren’t Christmas themed. Eat your favorite foods even if that means chasing some Christmas ham with Reddi-Wip. Instead of donning your Christmas best, rock your favorite pajamas all day long. Christmas is still a day off so DO make it worth it and make it perfect for you. DON’T spend it drunk and wallowing to Nick and Jessica’s version of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

Take the money you would have spent on a gift for that dream S.O. and spend it on yourself. No matter what the price range – whether it’s hitting the dollar spot at Target or hitting Nordstrom with a Black Am Ex or somewhere in between – I really suggest doing this for yourself. Buy something completely unnecessary (Michael Kors watch, anyone?) that you’ve been wanting. Splurge if you have to! Every time you use that gift, you’ll have your single life to thank for it. It’ll remind you that being single during the holidays is not a burden; it’s a gift!

What are the first two rules of the Single Girl Society? Find out right here.

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Gettin’ it on with someone you care about has all the ingredients that make for great sex – it means more than just getting off, you trust each other, you know what your partner likes and, most importantly, you can have fun without being self-conscious. But all this great sex sometimes comes with a downside: no one wants to admit it, but over time we get a little bored doin’ it with the same person over and over. That being said, even when you’re perfectly happy with what you’ve got goin’ on, sometimes it’s just fun to try new things! Spaghetti may be your favorite food, but after eating it every night, you might want to see what it’s like with meatballs.

Bad analogy? I tried.

In my experience, the key to a great sex life is some good old-fashioned adventure. The make-out, go down, have sex routine is nice occasionally, but the truth is that it does get old eventually. Adding a little spice to your bedroom routine is the key to a long and happy sexual relationship — whether it be going at it in risqué places (I’ll save that for another post) or trying out some fun toys.

The first thing you’ll need if you’re looking for some adventure is an open mind (and hopefully your partner has one too). A sex swing or some kinky bondage might not be for you, but how will you know until you try? If your sex life is reaching a lull, try out one (or all) of these toys and enjoy your new, passionate, anything-but-boring sex life.

Cosmo’s Truth or Dare: this is probably the easiest, cheapest, and least-intimidating step into the world of couples sex toys. You can even buy it at bookstores if you’re too shy to venture into a sex shop just yet. While this is technically not a toy, this game will give you a good excuse to have some fun. With truths ranging from masturbatory fantasies to streaking, and dares like “Pretend I’m a stranger. Walk by and cop a feel as subtly as possible,” this game is pretty much guaranteed to end in some sexy fun.

Vibrating rings are available not only at sex shops, but also at drugstores through brands like Trojan and Durex. They can be lots of fun, and the perfect ingredient to add to your otherwise-awesome sex. It’s worn around the penis during sex (or you could just hold it for those without a penis in their relationship) and it hits just the right spot while he thrusts away. The packages claim that the vibrations last about 20 minutes, but they’ve been known to last a lot longer than that. Coming in at under $20, they’re also a fairly affordable way to have some fun. Added bonus: the tightness of the ring will cause your partner’s penis to stay harder longer… and really, who wouldn’t want that?

Even if BDSM isn’t quite your thing, experimenting with blindfolds, handcuffs, bondage tape, paddles, or, for those who are a little more adventurous, ball gags, can be a good way to explore your kinky side. Be sure to use these with someone you trust, and develop some boundaries before you agree to be tied up, flogged, or gagged!

Not for the faint of heart, a sex swing, sling, or door harness could be for you. I’m not exactly sure how much flexibility is needed for one of these, but I know they look like a hell of a lot of fun!

I understand we’re all poor college kids here, but I know if I ever had the time or a couple thousand dollars to spare, I’d be trying out one of these. It’s specifically designed for tantra, but with those curves, you can just imagine the cool positions you could try out. And the bonus with the tantra chair is that it doubles as a beautiful piece of furniture. How cool is that? On the cheaper end of the spectrum, you can buy a love bumper or a lounge. But really, getting creative with a few pillows can produce more or less the same results.

With a little creativity and an open mind and there is no reason to let your sex life get boring. Just think of all the sexy possibilities!

This is....fun.

You know what it’s like when everyone is talking about last night’s Gossip Girl episode that you didn’t get a chance to watch because you had to study for some dumb Calc final and you’re the only one out of the convo? And while you try to keep from having anything spoiled for you before you get a chance to watch the episode online, everyone else can relate over how crazy it is that a threesome actually occurred and V looked ridiculous in her lingerie and “OMG I can’t believe that happened,” and they’re all bonding over something you weren’t a part of.

Sometimes, hanging out with my couple friends feels like that.

Now understand, I was one half of the same couple for a long three years, so I have a firm grasp on this from the couple perspective. My coupled friends can’t always help talking about their relationships – they are a huge part of their lives, after all. And they’re excited and happy and in love and they just want to share that with their BFFs. And when we go out and they do coupley things, they aren’t doing it to rub their love in our single faces; they just want to hang out with all of us and include everyone, regardless of their Facebook relationship status. I have no doubt that whatever they do is done with the best of intentions.

But now seeing this all from the single perspective, it is so easy to feel left out. Or occasionally grossed out. I mean, come on, some pet names are not meant for other people’s ears. And I don’t need to see you guys suck face while we’re watching a movie in the living room.

This whole thing is only worse during the holidays when even just staying in to watch Christmas movies with your honey sounds romantic. It’s like everywhere I turn there’s love and coupledom being shoved in my face. Maybe I don’t like being reminded that I have yet to find someone that I deem worthy of keeping me warm during the long winter nights, or maybe I’m just jealous, but every once in awhile I am fairly certain that I am allowed to be annoyed when one of the boyfriends crashes a sacred girls’ event.

Not that that happens often…according to the girlfriends. But, trust me, it happens often enough that I end up “going to bed” early (“You know, I got a class early in the morning….”) just to get away from it. I don’t blame my friends and I don’t resent them for it, but no matter how much I love them, sometimes hanging out with my coupled friends doesn’t sound like fun.

Catching up on the latest Gossip Girl, though? Now, that never disappoints.

"Why can't you just let me watch The Hills in peace?!"

One of the things I love about my boyfriend is that we have a lot in common. We both like football, video games, movies, and music. However, we have a few differences as to what exactly we like.

Over the summer we went out to go see Funny People because we both like Judd Apatow movies and we thought it’d be really good. I thought it was really funny and that while, yeah it dragged a little bit, I enjoyed it. Matt on the other hand, HATED IT. And he felt the need to list every. single. reason why. All I heard for the rest of the night was Matt trashing the movie that I actually liked. Naturally, I was annoyed.

It’s not like I can’t handle a little opposition, it’s just that it’s little hard to take sometimes. Whenever he goes off on one of his rants about something I like, I can never tell if I should keep my mouth shut and question his taste in my head or if I should stand up for myself and my opinions. If I just sit there, I end up just internalizing thoughts like, “my boyfriend is an idiot and I’d really like to throw something at him right now,” when that’s the last thing I should be thinking about the guy I love. And the breakable things I also love. I also know that if I speak up and defend things I like, I’m most likely going to spend the next 3 hours arguing, and I just don’t always have the energy for that.

We have been able to come to a truce on some things. He doesn’t make fun when I watch Say Yes to the Dress, I support the Dallas Cowboys as long as he supports the Green Bay Packers (except for when they play each other – then all hell breaks loose), and Matt uses his iPod when he wants to listen to music he knows I don’t like. And it’s all made us a much happier couple.

But when you’re with someone, no matter how much you have in common and agree that Coke is far superior to Pepsi, there will be things that can’t be compromised. (And if there aren’t – well, that’s just boring.) The biggest thing I’ve learned from being one half of a couple is that you have to pick your battles. While there will be issues to stand up and fight for, some things are just not worth the long-winded-argument-that-leads-to-door-slamming-and-silent-treatment.

Yeah, I’ll still speak up if it’s really important or something I care passionately about, but let’s be honest – the world will not end if your boyfriend doesn’t agree that Lady Gaga is the best thing since sliced bread.

Forever a dreamer, I have lived through movies. I wanted to change the bad boy like Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions. I wanted a wardrobe like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. And mostly, I wanted to dance my way to sex like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing (and not in the frat party/grinding sorta way).

Keep dreaming, right?

However, after spending lots of time analyzing my favorite movies, I’ve realized that it’s not so hard for the everyday man to create a movie moment in everyday life. Sure, finding a Leonardo DiCaprio to sketch my naked body on a sinking ship might be hard (and not ideal considering the ending), but many of the most romantic gestures in movies aren’t so hard to manage, even without a script:

Kiss me and dip in a public spot: While most couples may become accustomed to the “Good-bye, see you later” peck, it is not really that difficult to kiss a girl for longer than a millisecond and bring in some impromptu passion. Although I personally hated Berger from Sex and the City, there is this great scene where he says to Carrie “We need a movie moment kiss” and then dips her in front of a museum or a library or some other spot where people are bound to swoon at this chivalrous man. Movie moment that takes about 5 seconds and leaves you breathless for the next hour? Not so hard.

Arrange to kiss in the rain: Next time there is a thunderstorm, don’t arrange to be in bed (just yet) watching a movie. Rather, drag me outside to kiss me in the rain. This becomes even more movie-like if we’ve just had a fight and are making up in the rain (but I don’t suggest starting a fight just to create a movie moment – I’m not that crazy). Besides it can only lead to one of two things: either a hot shower (hopefully together) to warm up, or fantastic sex where we rip each other’s wet clothes off of each other…both of which are also great movie moments.

Throw me up against a wall and make out. Seriously: For the greatest of sex scenes, think The Notebook. How hot would it be to walk into a party, look for your guy, and all of the sudden feel those hands on you that push you up against a wall and have to kiss you then and there? So long as he’s not too violent with it, moves like that totally get both of your hearts racing, and again, probably take about 10 seconds to complete. There’s nothing hotter than knowing that you have to have somebody right then and there, so if you’re the kind of person who isn’t into impromptu sex in a broom closet, this move will totally turn a girl on without embarrassing you both if you get caught.

Do cute things without being told to: One of my friends is just blessed with that gene that makes him plan surprise dates for his girlfriend every month or so. He leaves notes under her pillow, he plans surprise picnics, he doesn’t tell her where they’re going, and he gives her flowers for no reason. A lot of this stuff doesn’t cost much, but it’s so nice to see that your guy is thinking about you. Things like bringing each other coffee when you are stressed, popping over with Chinese food, and coming by just to say hi all take minimal effort but get maximum appreciation points. It’s not that girls want loads of money spent on them, we just want proof that the guys are thinking about us since we spend so much brainpower on them. Cute things are often relatively easy and will always earn a man brownie points.

Stay in contact: Leave a message telling your girl that you were thinking about her. If you’re at the library, text her saying you would rather be with her than with your books. Of course she can assume this, but it’s always nice to hear. Again, the little things go a long way, and then she can swoon to her friends about how much her guy appreciates her.

If you have other great moments that are easy to replicate in reality, share ‘em here! Then we can all pass this link on to the men in our lives and have our own real-life romantic movie moments.

"No, I wuv you more, honey bunny on a farm."

We’ve all heard them. They’re that annoying couple on the subway, the friends you cringe when out in public with, hell, you might even BE one of them some day. Who are these people? Let me introduce you.

“Oh smoochey wumpkins, are you weady for your sweepy times?”

Say hello to the baby talkers.

It is a well-known fact that certain people, when speaking with a significant other, resort to a form of speech better reserved for infants and puppy-dogs. I’m embarrassed to admit that I, myself, have become a baby talker. I don’t know how it started, but conversations with my boyfriend have gone from intelligent, grown-up topics to a mess of squeaky voices and poor vocabulary.

My question is why? What motivates two seemingly put-together adults to resort to toddler-speak the second they fall in love? Maybe it’s because we know each other so well by this point that we have run out of topics for adult conversations, or maybe we’re just too lazy to use proper grammar.

Believe it or not, research has been done on baby talk in romantic relationships, and I’m happy to put my psychology degree to use interpreting it for you. Meredith Bombar and Lawrence Littig found that baby-talkers may be doing something right! They were more secure and less avoidant in their relationships. They propose that this is because baby talk plays a role in creating warm emotional connections. Baby talk allows individuals to abandon adult roles and become vulnerable, nurturing, endearing and silly.

Baby talk shows that couples have let their guard down, and are no longer afraid of being embarrassed around each other. Baby talk also serves as a sort of private language between the two, creating a special type of communication that they reserve only for each other. This article on msnbc.com has a great quote from Carol Bruess, Ph.D.: “You are saying, symbolically, that you care enough about the other person and the relationship to develop your own way of speaking… You’ve got your own private world, your own mini culture.”

Sadly, none this makes it any less annoying to outside parties. No matter how much you wuv that person.

Do you baby talk or know anyone who does?

There’s a reason kids on tricycles get their asses kicked; no one likes a third wheel.

Yet time and time again, as coupled people attempt to prove that they have not fallen victim to the anti-social-eat-Chinese-food-while-cuddling-on-the-couch behavior long associated with relationships, you somehow end up third-wheeling it up night after night. While kudos should be given for the attempt to reach out to their relationship challenged friends, couples are either oblivious to or choosing to ignore the fact that watching them make lovey eyes at each other while you pound down more Jack and Diets than the bartender can serve up is not exactly an ideal Saturday night.

And that is only one of the many reasons three is a crowd:

- They will inevitably ask you if you are dating someone. I don’t know if people in relationships have forgotten how to talk about entertainment/sports/music/school/politics/other people, but it seems their favorite topic is relationships. You will either have to awkwardly tell them that no one has even bought you coffee within the past 6 months, or that you have been casually dating someone. (If you are casually dating someone, be warned…they will ask you to invite him 10,000 times).

- If at a restaurant or bar, the waiter will automatically ask you if there is a fourth person coming. There will be an awkward pause. Someone will despondently respond, “No…just 3.”

- The odds of PDA increase proportionally to the amount of drinks had. By drink 3, the happy couple is likely eskimo kissing and snuggling across the table from you while you think of the best ways to cover up a double homicide (or at least the best excuse to hightail it out of there!).

- You’re not allowed to hit on anyone. While bars usually give singles that wonderful kid in a candy store feeling, your couple will inevitably judge you if you start flirting with any hotties. They will either get upset that you are ditching them for some guy (even though the night ultimately ends in them ditching you for each other), or look down upon you for your juvenile ways.

- They will ask you if they are still fun in about 50 different ways. “Aren’t we a blast?” “We still ACT like singles!” “We’re one of those fun couples.” “Aren’t you having a great time, I love doing this!” I can only come up with so many masked variations of, “No…not really.”

So why not fake sick and bail on the happy couple? There are, admittedly, some perks: in an attempt to appease you, they are likely to buy you a few beverages (deep down they know it’s sucky). Plus, by acting nonchalant about being a third wheel, you immediately go from pitied single friend, to confident and secure single friend. And most importantly…sometimes you just gotta do stuff for your friends! How many times do your coupled friends let you drag them around parties and bars while you mack on strangers? Sometimes you can’t help but be the third wheel (or even *gasp* the fifth), but you just have to grin, bear it, and plan a much needed singles night out.