I am an expert in awkward situations. When I first meet people, more often than not, I leave a horrible first impression. I am similarly awkward in my attempts to be a part of the dating scene.

Just last week, a coworker exclaimed, “Kathryn, you have no game. Your entire approach is off!” Yes, this is true. But somehow, I still get some action, which is why she followed her (rather harsh) declaration with the question, “How do you do it?”

Still, no matter how many times I’ve immediately wished I could retract the bizarre statement that just came out of my mouth, I’ve also been with, or had friends who have been with, equally hopeless guys.

Reviewing my own traumatic events, as well as some of my friends’ bizarre sexual encounters, I’ve compiled a list of some of the worst things to say during sex. Because I’m a woman, they are written from a female perspective, but each of these can be just as cringe-worthy coming from a guy.

1. “Ohhhh, Michael… I mean… Dan?”

Make sure you know the name of the person you’re inviting past the pearly gates. Calling someone by another name will at once crush your partner’s ego and make you look sleazy. Once, I was hooking up with a guy and he proceeded to pour out his feelings for another girl… and try to get my advice on how to go about courting her. That really sucked, and he was pissed when I cut our session short. Read More »

A friend of mine began dating a girl. And by “began” I mean, slept with her the day they met.

Since then, he has been seeing this girl on a daily basis. He likes hanging out with her and he loves the sex. He insists that she is not his girlfriend, yet the amount of time they spend together tells a different story. A story that:

1) I am sure his lady friend is reading

2) makes it seem like this little relationship is turning into something more serious.

Yet, as he tells me, he doesn’t want a girlfriend. And “it is too early to have the relationship conversation, anyway. We are just having fun.”

I started thinking about his situation – how I would feel if I were him, if I were her, and just about the whole dating thing in general.

Dating for our generation is clearly a lot different than when our parents did it. Way back when, in the days when they were young, dating was a fairly structured process: boy eyed girl, boy asked girl on date, boy met parents, boy and girl went on a few more dates, boy formally asked girl to be his girlfriend, boy gave girl pin/sweater, boy and girl were officially a couple and held hands (and sometimes necked). Read More »