Oh, I see what’s happening here. Because fun little artwork is much cuter and classier than your giant crack hanging out of the top of your jeans. And it draws way less attention.

The fact that a product like this exists makes me question humanity. It’s the type of thing that would worry Tim Gunn and put Anna Wintour into a coma. Can’t we all just agree to nix the ill fitting jeans?

Some of us are the Charlottes who are happy knowing at the end of the day there is a guy that will be thinking about us before we fall asleep. Some of us are the Samanthas who are happy knowing we have a guy we can shag before we fall asleep. Ahh, and then there are those in between-ers like myself. We want someone to love and shag us before we tuck in for the night.

Whichever category you fall into, it’s no wonder we’re all looking for that special person to “complete” us.

Having a boyfriend brings about a sense of pride and accomplishment. It gives us all feelings of worth, self esteem and validation. Oh, and a serious case of the butterflies.

As sad as that may be, it’s the truth. Sure, the powerful and independent woman can find all of that on her own, but the fact is we’ve been taught our whole lives to want a boyfriend. Case in point: romantic movies. Those friggin’ things don’t do jack sh!t for a single girl besides motivate those starry-eyed expectations of how the majority of real guys act. Homegirl, I’m not talkin’ only about movies along the lines of “The Notebook” either. Those Disney Princess movies of carpet rides and glass slippers laced our childhood hopes of boyfriends with metaphorical crack before we got our training wheels off.

So yes, I want a boyfriend! You want a boyfriend! Your dog wants a boyfriend!

And there is nothing wrong with that. It is normal to want to have someone to talk to at the end of the day and to remind you how amazing you are. Someone who is going to give you bear hugs, forehead kisses, and be an olympic gold-medalist cuddler. It’s a part of the human moral fiber.

So for those cynical singles who won’t admit at the end of the day that they truly do want “that special person,” stick that in your juice box and suck it! Claiming you don’t want one may make you feel better about the fact that you don’t have one, but I truly feel that everyone deep down wants a boyfriend.

Thoughts?

Amy Winehouse gets more press for her cracked-out shenanigans than her songs, and today is no different. The Grammy-winning songbird and drug addict was photographed this morning at the doorway of her London home in a mesh tank top, eating cheese on toast, and sporting a brand-new, mop-top hairdo.  While her hair certainly looks healthier than it did during the days of her iconic, ratty beehive, that’s about all of Amy that’s looking better these days. As she ix-nays the up-do, let’s take a look at the past fashions of Ms. Winehouse:

1. Normal

Natural hair! Flattering makeup! Healthy body weight! Amy looks effortlessly pretty here.

2. Beehive Beautiful

Amy appearing at the Style Awards just a year ago, looking professionally coiffed and chipper. Work it!

3. Looking Like “That Girl”

Skeletal-skinny with her shirt on inside-out, Amy appears to be letting things go. Maybe she should go to rehab…yeah, yeah, yeah.

4. Absolutely Cracked Out

Smeared makeup, dirty face, withered nose, and hair looking more like a bird’s nest than a beehive.  And the coup-de-grace, that braindead expression, solidifies this photo as Amy’s definitive low point.

5. The New ‘Do

The jury is still out on the hair. Personally, I think it makes her look like my grandmother, though it is a step up from that forest-like animal trap she had before. But Amy, dear Amy- please get it together! Wasn’t winning a Grammy so much more fun than sharing cheesy toast with paparazzi?

Amy Winehouse is up to her usual snorting, shooting-up, smoking, swallowing antics, but this time there are others involved besides her and her junkie boyfriend.

A British couple has pleaded guilty to selling Amy (ample amounts?) of cocaine and ecstasy after releasing a video to The Sun newspaper of her smoking crack. Conveniently, when the police raided the couple’s home they were lucky enough to find a list of celebrities they supplied with drugs.

Unfortunately, the list hasn’t been made public so College Candy compiled our own list of the usual suspects. These celebs MAY (or may not) have been on the couple’s druggie list:

Lil’ Wayne – LW once said he was “so high I could eat a star.” We’re guessing he ordered one of everything …

Willy Nelson – A proud spokesperson of the mary jane…check out some other celebs who’ve been caught tokin’…

Whitney Houston – Crack is whack?! I don’t think she really believes that…

Bobby Brown- He’ll have whatever Whitney’s havin’…

Andy Dick- He is definitely huffing something…not quite sure what tho?

Matthew Perry – Could Chandler Bing use some vicoden??

Kate “I’ll have some coke” Moss – and no she doesn’t mean the fizzy beverage…

Lindsey Lohan- …she showed up with Kate

Any other celebs you think were found on this list?

Maybe it was born out of desperation (“I have to think of a way to get my coke fix without whipping a vial out of my nappy hair!”), or boredom (“Doing lines gets really old after a few years…”), but however she cooked up this idea doesn’t matter. Because she did.

Winehouse has recently purchased a cotton candy machine which she fills with her tasty coke/candy concoction.

Seriously, we can’t make this stuff up. We just wonder what tasty mixture she’ll think of next: Crack Fries? Ecstasy lollipops? Heroin hamburgers? Horse tranquilizer milkshakes?

Mmmm. Horse tranquilizer milkshakes….

[Photo courtesy of www.ninjadude.com]

So can we blame her when her love for the bottle and her passion for high fashion collide….in the form of vomit splattered all over some super couture dresses…which she returned…without cleaning them?

Um. Ew.

And, yes. Yes we can.

I’ve been there. Too many times. Like the time my friend borrowed a pair of boots, got drunk and peed behind a dumpster…drowning my boots in urine. Or when I went to use my Chi and found chunks of vomit from a roommate’s particularly bad evening. (“Seriously, I couldn’t even get to the toilet. It was totally projectile!”) Or that time I loaned out my favorite t-shirt only to have it returned with some…er…male secretion splattered all over the front.

The point is this: we don’t care what you do in our clothes, just clean that sh*t up. Especially for Harvey Nichols.

Although, on the bright side, at least it was just vomit. Who knows what this girl is capable of?!

Yeah, she was ridiculous, but she wasn’t lying about it. She knew she was buckwild and she owned it, for better or worse.

However, Winehouse has long since passed the point of cheeky irresponsibility and is progressively becoming more and more of a certifiable horror show. Witness her newest totally insane escapade that occurred just yesterday at her husband Blake Fielder-Civil’s assault trial in London.

Winehouse, who showed up no less than four hours late for the trial, parked herself in the front row where she spent the duration of the proceedings doing a number of apesh*t crazy things, including;

-Blowing kisses to Blake

-Holding up a heart brooch with Blake’s name on it so he could see it

-Patting the empty seat next to her as an invitation for her husband to join her

-Mouthing “I love you” and other phrases until a guard had to tell her to stop

Then, after about two hours of hanging around acting exactly how you would expect a crack zombie to act, Winehouse decided she was over it and rolled out. As she was leaving the courthouse a reporter asked her how her husband looked and she responded, “He’s gorgeous as f*ck. You seen him before?”

Oh Amy. I miss the days when you were a girl I thought it might be fun to party with as opposed to someone who I suspect would steal my eyeballs and sell them on the black market to buy more meth. If you someday manage to kick the habit and go back to being a fun boozebag, please give me a call. In the meantime, I don’t want to see you anywhere near my eyeballs.

This game is the sh*t! But more addicting than crack: you’ve been warned.

Maxim sums up basically the best gifts of all time for your Dad/Grad.

Charlie Sheen Marries an “Easy” Woman. Obviously.

I feel so bad for this guy. But not bad enough to find his situation completely hilarious.

Watermelon Bombe: It’s not what you’re thinking.

But This Is! Cheers!

Audrina from back in the day. Hot or Not?

Jennifer Aniston is a pothead?! Am I the last person on earth to realize this?!

You don’t have to be rich and white to like SATC...just don’t expect to see yourself represented.

Superhero Fashion: kinda flamboyant. Oh, wait, did I say kinda? I meant VERY.

You know what I love doing after a nice, long, relaxing weekend? Waking up to the sound of bells ringing and sweating Wallstreet dudes screaming from the rooftops.

That’s right. The stock market is falling. Faster than the drunken hook-ups at Sundance, faster than the disappearance of Amy Winehouse’s crack stash—just…fast.

Some people think we’re headed into a recession. Which is just the kind of news I love to hear after receiving my first monstrous student loan bill in the mail.

Those who enjoy depressing themselves can go to CNN for updates.

• C’mon everyone! Stop having lives and start watching TV! P.S. Cavemen premieres tonight… (Reuters)

• Finally, a class where the nerds will be cool! For a semester, at least. (The Crimson White)

• Honda Civic being sold on Craigslist has over 930,000 miles on it and is in seemingly great condition. One question: does it still smell like a guido or is that just a New York thing? (autoblog.com)

• “If I would’ve let him smoke crack in my house, he would still be alive, and I blame myself.” Ummm, I feel like that logic is somewhat flawed. (KCTV5)

• Another reason to go Green: Volkswagen is planning to release all future models with a hybrid option! (GoSunSolutions.com)