We love celebrities. We also love to hate celebrities. And then there are celebrities that we just need to get rid of. I had a rather long list including Flava Flav, Brett Michaels, K-Fed, Clay Aiken, etc. However, I narrowed it down to the five celebrities that I just don’t want to hear any more about this year.

I’m sick of them, so sick that if I see something about them on E! News or in a magazine I have to turn it off or stop reading. And then punch something and question the heavens above as to why they exist.

That’s not okay with me. So join me in my quest to rid the world of these offending celebs:

5. Tom Cruise- We loved you in Top Gun, Rain Man, and Mission Impossible, but the whole Scientology/keep Katie Holmes captive thing is down right annoying. There are not little aliens inside of you. You also happen to be a hypocrite: you criticized Brooke Shields for using antidepressants to take care of depression, an illness, and yet most recently were quoted saying, “They say, ‘Get your physical, get your medication, get your physical illnesses handled.’” Which is it Tom? Get your medication or don’t? You confuse me. And Valkyrie sucked. Go back to Xenu. Read More »

We all know Amy Winehouse has some problemos. Mostly involving crack, horse tranquilizers and really, really gross hair. But even a crackhead can love designer duds.

So can we blame her when her love for the bottle and her passion for high fashion collide….in the form of vomit splattered all over some super couture dresses…which she returned…without cleaning them?

Um. Ew.

And, yes. Yes we can.

I’ve been there. Too many times. Like the time my friend borrowed a pair of boots, got drunk and peed behind a dumpster…drowning my boots in urine. Or when I went to use my Chi and found chunks of vomit from a roommate’s particularly bad evening. (“Seriously, I couldn’t even get to the toilet. It was totally projectile!”) Or that time I loaned out my favorite t-shirt only to have it returned with some…er…male secretion splattered all over the front.

The point is this: we don’t care what you do in our clothes, just clean that sh*t up. Especially for Harvey Nichols.

Although, on the bright side, at least it was just vomit. Who knows what this girl is capable of?!

How far will you go for your caffeine fix? Many of us can’t imagine starting our day without a kick-in-the-ass of caffeine via a latte, espresso, Red Bull or regular old coffee.

But isn’t there a more convenient alternative to carry in your purse or backpack for easy access during less-than-stimulating class? Mornings are hectic as it is – picking out a cute and semi-clean outfit, making sure you grab the right books, and checking the mirror for any potential embarrassments – who has time to grab a coffee?

Luckily, a few capitalistic masterminds have exploited our caffeine addiction. No, I’m not talking about those fools over at Starbucks; that’s old news. Enter the world of caffeinated munchies. Red Bulls and Power Bars have nothing on these chemically-enhanced, caffeine-infused snacks.

We’ve all seen the caffeine gums, but, Dorothy, we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Today’s caffeine fiends can choose from lollipops, chocolates, cookies, jellybeans and more. Here’s a rundown of the best indulgences to get you wired without suffering the evil burnt tongue: Read More »

Old panties are a suitable replacement for a mom, right?

This past weekend at a celebrity memorabilia auction in Las Vegas, Larry Birkhead, opportunistic baby daddy extraordinaire, purchased some drawers once worn by the late hot mess Anna Nicole Smith in a Playboy spread.

Birkhead spent a reported $2800 on a pink bustier and white negligee with the intention of someday giving the items to he and Smith’s year-old daughter, Dannielynn. According to one report, Birkhead said he bought the items in the hope that they will someday help Dannielynn understand her mother’s life and that this was definitely NOT a stunt to ensure his F-List ass stays in the papers. For realzies, guys. Make sure you get my good side.

That poor, poor, poor, poor kid. First her mother and brother die, then she’s in the middle of the most sleazeball custody battle of the 21st century, now she’s gifted a piece of her mom’s history as a trashy soft-core porn star? If Dannielynn makes it to the age of fourteen without getting knocked up or becoming a crackhead, she deserves a Nobel Prize.

[Photo courtesy of OK! Magazine]