More and more people are looking for love online these days and I’ll admit, I’m one of them. I honestly don’t know where else to find a date besides the typical bar/club scene, which seems much more conducive to finding a one night stand than finding love. I don’t work in an environment where I meet eligible bachelors, I pretty much know my friends’ friends so getting set up isn’t really an option. So where else do you look? People tell me I should do something I enjoy; a cooking class, hanging out in Barnes & Noble, join some sort of sports league and I’ll meet a guy who shares similar interests with me, but as social as I am, I’m not one to go to a cooking class alone, and I have yet to meet a guy in B&N. So that leaves me with the internet.

Sure, it’s scary and I’ve had my fair share of weirdos or guys who were several inches shorter than what they claimed, or sent pictures from when they were 10 years and 50 pounds lighter, but I’ve also been taken on some pretty amazing dates and met some really cool guys, some of whom I’ve remained friends with. Obviously, my prince hasn’t come along, but maybe the timing just hasn’t been right. I’ve tried a lot of the sites out there; match.com, Plenty of Fish, okcupid, Craig’s List, eHarmony and even Jdate (yes, I’m a shiksa who likes Jewish boys). Thus far, I’ve had the best luck on Craig’s List and the worst luck with match and eHarmony (the one that claims it’ll help you find your soulmate), but as I’m still single, I haven’t had the luck I’m really looking for, so I decided to try out a new site, it’s called crazyblinddate.com, and yes, it’s crazy.

Crazyblinddate.com is run by the same people who run okcupid and it works like this: You go onto their site and click which city you live in (so far they only cover Austin, Boston, Chicago, LA, NYC, and San Francisco), then you choose if you’d rather go on a single or a double date. They inform you that you will be set up on a date at either a bar or a coffee shop (your choice), but you won’t see a picture of them or have any communication with them before your date…can you say, yikes?!?

At this point, you create a profile. Your profile consists of the basics; first name, date of birth, gender, sexual orientation, height, body type, ethnicity, religion, and education level. After that they go into more in-depth questions; “You’ll know because I look like…”, “Things I’m good at talking about…”, “What I expect of a date…” and “Before we go on a date you should know…”. After you answer these, they ask you another series of questions, which they inform you your date will never see (why ask then?). Basically they’re questions about how picky you are when it comes to intelligence, attractiveness and how far you’re willing to go if a date goes well. After that, it’s time to upload your picture. Once you’ve got your profile done and have confirmed your e-mail address, you’re set.

You tell them when you’re available for a date (they’re usually pretty last minute, like that day or the next, though you can go for something further in advance) and you answer some questions about what your preferences are for location/area of the city and your date (ethnicity, height, education level, etc.). This is where I start noticing glitches.

They tell you that your date should not be too far away, but when I click in neighborhoods reasonably close to me, I am told that I need to broaden my horizons for a better chance at getting a date, didn’t they just tell me to keep the date in my ‘hood? Once I add a few more neighborhoods, they tell me I’m being too picky in my preferences and that I’m more likely to get a date if I’m more open-minded. Okay, seriously, I have height and educational preferences, I can’t help it. I’m sorry that I don’t wanna get set up on a date with a 5’6” high school drop out, but I know right off the bat it’s not gonna go well. So I keep my preferences the way they are and hope that they can scrounge up someone for me.

So far, I’ve been offered three dates; they both e-mail and text you when they have a potential date and you have to check them out and see if you want to accept. What you get to check out is a blurred picture of the person, and all the info from their profile. I must admit, reading these guys’ descriptions, I wonder how in God’s name I’ll recognize them in a bar (unless they’re the only brown haired, brown eyed, athletic guy at the bar). I haven’t accepted any of the dates, two of them didn’t work for my schedule and one of them I just got a sense wasn’t going to be a good match for me. So today I log on to see what they have brewing and I’m told that they “almost have a date” for me and there are 29 people they can match me with if I’m a little less picky. They suggest changing my required maximum age and minimum education level. Again, I don’t want a 42 year old who flunked out of college, sorry.

So now I continue to play the waiting game to see if they find a date I feel is worthy of my time and energy to see if it’s possible to find someone you click with if you’ve never had any contact with them or even know what they look like. The saga will continue once I find a date, so stayed tuned kids, things could get interesting…

So we’ve been looking at Craigslist Missed Connection posts, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And now I’d like to address an animal of a different color:

THE POEM.

Oh my yes, the Missed Connection poem. Some poor guy gets it into his head that writing a creepy-ass poem about the object of his affection (emphasis on object–it’s all about what he saw on her the one time he saw her, obscured by the drool creeping up from his mouth into his eyes. yes, that’s how much he drools) is the way to her heart.

Because women really love creepy love poems dedicated to them on craigslist. Observe:

Hilarious Craigslist Missed Connection:

A single strand of carelessely flung hair – m4w – 28

You shake light across your shin leather boots

at this foolish man – so eas’ly dismissed.

Humiliating. Freaky. Delightful.

Okay. I admit it. I frickin’ love this.

I mean, it’s a terrible poem. I mean, terrible terrible. But the sentiment is oddly sweet, if horrifyingly obnoxious.

And of course, if it were directed at me, I would ignore it.

Would you date this dude?