With finals season fast approaching (or maybe it’s already here for you unlucky few), CollegeCandy would like to issue a public service announcement. Yes, classes are officially over. Yes, you will face a series of tests that test the knowledge you acquired in said classes. Yes, obviously, they’re a big deal. But should you ignore the rules of civilized conduct and go balls-to-the-wall crazy in your efforts to secure the best grades possible? Ummm…please don’t.

For your safety, please follow the few simple rules we’ve collected here for you. You’ll thank us later when you’re not 20 lbs heavier and missing teeth.

1. Eat properly. We both know all that Red Bull isn’t good for you. We also know that Gummi worms don’t count as a serving of fruit and awesomeness. Grab some carrot sticks and a eco-friendly bottle of water.

2. Get some sleep. Real sleep. Not in the library.

3. Pace yourself. Devise an organized approach to studying that doesn’t leave you cramming at the last minute. Then stick to it.

4. Stay of Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, etc. Ten minutes of “let me just see what people are up to” can quickly turn into three hours of reblogging, live tweeting and stalking exes. That’s embarrassing and unproductive.

5. Avoid any/all crazy situations resembling this scene that arose at William & Mary.

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The 5 worst college beers and why you drink them

We all hate finals, but would we start to miss them if they were gone?

Pro: LESS STRESS! Five days to learn an entire semester’s worth of material in six different classes? Finals week is nothing but a week-long cram session, filled with multiple all-nighters and hours spent camping out in the library. The alternative to exams (projects, term papers, presentations) are much more reflective of what you actually learned and show that you understand the History of Mental Illness. This is what you’ll be doing for your boss in the future… not bubbling circles in with a Number 2 pencil.

Con: The cute, studious guy you find poring over a textbook in the student union (Hellloo study break!) – where will he be if his classes don’t have exams?

Pro: A stronger student-professor relationship. You are no longer just a number in a Excel grading sheet. A professor has to sit down, read what you write (or listen to what you are saying) and evaluate your work. Hopefully they would remember your six-page paper on The New Face of Public Relations and be more inclined to write out a great recommendation for your dream internship next semester.

Con: Say goodbye to that amazing finals week care package from your Mom. You know, the one with her famous chocolate chip cookies and a new pair of comfy sweatpants to make your time in the library more enjoyable.

Pro: Less involvement from Teaching Assistants. You are shelling out hundreds of thousands of dollars to get an education, digging yourself deeper and deeper in debt from student loans, just for a TA to come along and grade your exam. Eliminate final exams (or exams altogether) and the person you are paying to stand in front of the room and lecture would actually be grading your material. It’s about time.

Con: Group projects. Professors don’t have the time to listen to 200 individual presentations. Instead they will pair you up in groups and expect you to work together, which never happens. I hate group projects. You hate group projects. We all hate group projects. There is always that one person who is okay with a C, does the absolute bare minimum and expects the rest of the group to pick up their slack. So I get to stress out and lose sleep because I want an A? No thanks, buddy.

So what do you think? Should we eliminate finals?

Popularity pays off!

I really miss the days of screaming down the stairs, “Mom!  Can I go over to Ashley’s house to eat dinner and watch TGIF tonight!?”

No, I’m not reminiscing about Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper and Boy Meets World.  I’m talking about the “my dad will drop us off if your mom can pick us up” type of hang outs favored among middle school girls the world over.  In my house there were rules, though: no seeing friends on school nights, no sleepovers if my grades slipped below B’s.  At the time it seemed so unfair.  And you know what, it was unfair!  Mom and dad were totally salting my game.

Turns out, their best intentions may have actually been hurting my school performance more than helping it. A new study out of UCLA is claiming that more friends equals better grades.  While the study focuses on adolescents, I like to think the same principles can be applied to college students as well.  Seriously, think about it:

1. Intro to Geology.  Rocks (ooh!) and glaciers (ah!) and some kid next to you drooling on your shoulder as he snores through another riveting lecture (…ew!).  You know there’s no way you’re going to make it through an entire semester of this snoozefest alone.  Since habitual skipping and boring professors put you on the highway to SeeYouAgainNextYear-ville, I say round up a posse and brave the storm together.  Good friends are always there to poke you when you zone out and cram with you at 2am the night before the exam.

2.  When you’re four tequila shots in, up on the bar shaking what yo mama gave ya, you want a true friend either a) making a fool of themselves right there along with you or b) standing down below holding their purse against your butt to hide the fact that you didn’t wear undies with your minidress. This doesn’t really relate to grades, but it’s still a good case as to why you should have friends.

3. You know how they say the best romances evolve out of friendships?  Well, I think the best grades and the best romances evolve out of being extra-friendly with your TA!  Instant A!

4.  If one keg equals roughly sixty beers and one party consists of thirty friends, how many kegs do you need to get everyone drunk? See, friends encourage you to brush up on math even outside class!

5.  As an alumna of the Greek system, I can speak from personal experience when I say having a whole house of sorority friends saved my grades on more than one occasion. I present to you the two most beautiful words in my undergrad vocabulary: test files.  It was law that after you took a class, you did not recycle those old binders of notes and exams.  Would you throw away an impossible to find designer purse?  No?  Well then why would you throw away Professor Leery’s legendarily brain-twisting psych exam?   Make your own test file system with your circle of friends and you’re destined for success!

Wait, what subject is this again?

You have four finals in three days – a Blue Book, two exams and a paper. You sit in your last class of the week. As your professor outlines the format of the test, you outline everything you need to do between now and Winter Break. The list is overwhelming (note cards, laundry, annotations, packing, review sessions, research…); you fidget in your seat, anxious to get out of that lecture hall and into the library for the next 4 days.

When the class finally ends, you pack your things and walk home. You promise yourself you’ll only grab a snack and some books and head right back to the library. You make a mental plan of attack; you’ll focus half of the night on that paper,  then jump into all those Psych terms you need to memorize, then skim that book you were supposed to read 2 months ago that you know is going to be on the test.

You find a table in the corner of the library, away from anyone and anything that might distract you, and unpack your bag. Then you organize your books, highlighters and pens on the table. Then you check your email, respond to some friend requests and put up an away message. Then you realize you’ve just wasted 30 minutes and begin to panic.

“Ok. Time to write.”

You open Microsoft Word and stare at the empty page. You read the writing assignment. You flip through your notes. You re-read the assignment. Finally, you begin to write. Though you had a rough start, the ideas come to you quickly and things go well; an hour later you have 2 of the 8 pages done. You sign onto AIM to reward yourself. You bitch with your friends – who are also somewhere in the library – about finals and how stressed you are. You sign off and return to the paper, pumping out another 2 pages. Now, halfway done, your brain goes on vacation. You decide to stop and move on to the next subject.

You pack up your computer – but not before you IM your BFF to complain about your workload  – and bring out the next set of books. You spend another two hours going through the textbook and your notes, making note cards of all the important terms and concepts. You zone out for a minute, staring at the other students doing their thing, and the next thing you know twenty minutes have gone by, your notebook is covered in little swirlies and you have no idea where you left off. Your hand hurts. Your brain hurts. Your eyes hurt. Your stomach is growling.

It’s time for that break. You pull out your planner, cross off everything you have accomplished (ahhh, so satisfying), pack your things and leave. In order to save time, you order carry-out on your way home. You eat it on your bed as you attempt to read a book for subject #3. At some point well past midnight, you fall asleep, books and empty Chinese containers in the bed with you.

You wake up a few hours later and do it all again: the writing, the reviewing, the greasy food, the list-making followed by the crossing off of tasks completed. And then again the next day. By the time your first exam comes around, you’re worn out, your brain is full, and you’re somehow confusing the theories of Carl Jung with the dates of World War 1. You throw on some sweatpants (so what if you’ve worn them for 3 days straight), do your hair in the easy headband/ponytail combo (which conveniently covers up those greasy roots), dab a little cover-up on those zits that have popped up due to stress/being too tired to wash your face at night, and leave early so you can pick up a coffee and have some time review your notes one last time before that Scantron is placed in front of you.

We’ve all been there.
Winter break cannot come soon enough.

"How many more hours until I'm chugging eggnog with the fam?"

Finals week is probably the most daunting few days of your college career. Winter break is so close you can almost taste the gingerbread cookies in your mouth. But first you have to survive your Calculus exam. Four exams, three term papers and a presentation may seem like the impossible dream. But I promise, where there is a will (to get home and gorge yourself on home cooking and holiday cookies) there is a way.

Do use your time management skills to help lessen the stress of your workload. Plan out your days using your friendly school-provided calendar – yes, the one that I’m sure you tossed aside long ago – to map out your plan of attack. When you realize your end goal is attainable, the path to getting their seems less dreaded.

Don’t cram your studies into a series of all-nighters at the library. You will go stir-crazy and end up mindlessly watching videos of people falling on Youtube at 4:00 a.m.  Don’t be that person. Nobody likes that person. Your GPA won’t like that person.

Do use the nerds to your advantage. And by that I mean form study groups with your classmates. Five brains are better than one, especially if that one is my own. Having people to catch my mistakes has always been my saving grace. It can be yours too.

Don’t rely on energy drinks and your roommate’s Adderall prescription to get you through this week. Save yourself from an early heart attack and make sure to schedule in sleep. A good night’s sleep is actually beneficial to your studies, believe it or not. This is your body’s time to recuperate and regenerate. And if you’re lucky you’ll regenerate a few of the brain cells you lost during last weekend’s pre-finals booze-fest.

Do resist the urge to party on your days off. My school always designates one day for study, which means there are no finals scheduled on that day. Which also means that people tend to party the night before. It seems so right (especially with a half-bottle of tequila running through your bloodstream), but it’s oh so wrong. This is one week where you can’t afford to be hung-over because, while you can’t relive the party… you really can’t retake a final.

Don’t stress yourself out.  And don’t surround yourself with stressed out people. While you shouldn’t take studying for finals lightly, there’s a difference between over-achieving and over-doing it. Take a break and let off some steam.  This is one time when I can call chocolate my friend and not feel bad about it.

Do rejoice when your last exam is over! What’s done is done. And if you’ve followed my advice, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Except how you’re going to fit all those for-pleasure books into your two week break.

Looks like someone could use some low fat cheese snacks.

Ah, Finals. How I love you. You fall during the greatest time of year and have me reading textbooks instead of drinking Gingerbread lattes and enjoying the holiday sales. You leave dark circles under my eyes and extra inches around my waistline.

Basically, you suck.
Big time.

But, I’m not going to let you conquer my spirit and beat me down to a mumbling, dribbling fool this year. You may not be easy like my Freshman year roommate; I may always scream for joy as I darken the last circle on my last Scantron form, triumphantly dumping my notes in the garbage. But with enough determination I, and the many other good looking and smart students like me, can emerge from the semester with my sanity intact.

How, you ask?
What, are you mocking me?
Don’t look at me like that, Finals. I’ll f**k you up!

OK, here’s how. With a little help from these friends.
How you like them apples, FINALS?!

1. Classical Playlist:
So, most of us don’t have a bunch of classical music mixed in with our usual Gaga/Flo Rida jams on our iTunes. But that is exactly what you need for optimal studying. Studies show that classical music is connected to improvement in some mental tasks. And studying for exams is definitely a mental task. Ot marathon. But you don’t need to spend all your bar money for some boring classical music; just plug in those ear buds, hop on over to Pandora and create a “Mozart” channel. Listen to that (instead of the ever distracting, Britney) while you run through flashcards and you’ll be relaxed, focused and a whole lot more prepared.

2. 24-hour establishments:
If we’re going to be up all night, we need resources. If we run out of paper halfway through printing our essay, get hungry at 4 am, or need a beverage to refuel, we’ll need to know ahead of time where we can go in the wee hours of the morning and get a pint of ice cream what we need. Well, if you live in any of the major cities (NYC, Chicago, Seattle, LA, San Fran., PHX, Austin, DC and Miami) the legwork has been done for you. This website will tell you anything and everything that is open 24 hours so you don’t have to waste precious time driving/Subwaying/walking around looking for “some place that serves bread sticks in this effing town.”

3. Leggings:
Asking us to put on real clothes during finals is just not a plausible request. Chances are after being up all night studying or writing papers we will wake up in just enough time to roll out of bed and sprint to class. To make it easier on ourselves, everyone should invest in a pair of leggings (I’m obsessed with these). Yeah, I never thought I’d say that either, but they truly are the perfect finals attire; they are comfortable to study/sleep in during that all-nighter, but still socially acceptable (with a long top, at least) to wear in public. Done and done.

4. The right source of caffeine:
As much as I love coffee and Red bull, that’s not going to cut it when it comes to finals. In about a week or so we will all be running on empty, with 2 hours of sleep under our belts. To combat this sort of sleep deficiency, we need tea. Namely Cinnamon Apple Spice and Vanilla Almond tea. It’s much healthier than for you than Starbucks, it’s still got the caffeine we need and these fun flavors don’t taste like icky booty like some of those unflavored teas do.

5. Brain Foods:
There’s something about finals that just triggers our body to crave the most fattening foods we can get our hands on. Resist this urge! Not only will this leave your notebook greasy and smelling like french fries (wait…maybe that’s not such a bad thing), these foods make you sluggish and slow your brain down. Instead we need to have healthy snacks on hand that will keep us energized and focused. Some of the best study foods are grapes, nuts, yogurt, granola, popcorn, low fat cheese, whole wheat breads or crackers and cottage cheese. Luckily, all things you can – er – borrow from the cafeteria next time you’re dining.

What other tips do you guys have for making it through finals?

Someone needs a little more 'bux in her cram sesh.

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Enter…me!

Every week I’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers, I’ll do my best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Just wanna talk to a pretty cool lady (if I do say so myself)?

Hit me up in the comments or shoot me an email at melanie@collegecandy.com

How can I cram for a test effectively?
Okay, first of all, cramming and effective should not go in the same sentence. But if you lost track of time (or couldn’t pass up a week-long Beer Pong tourny the week of exams…) and you must cram, pick a place that’s quiet and distraction free. Preferably the library or a Starbucks. Load up on caffeine, make an outline of the most relevant points that are going to be on the test, make flashcards, whatever; just writing down the information will help you learn it. If you’re in a time crunch, skip the excess and read (and read again and again ) summaries and Sparknotes.

Cramming is different for everyone. Personally, I crack open a red bull and hide in a deserted classroom and make absurd nmenumic devices. If Redbull’s not your thing, snag the most expensive drink at Starbucks. It’s a 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel. $13.76 (with tax). Gross, right?

I need a roommate next year! Who should I pick?

Okay, well I don’t know everyone you associate with, but my advice is to pick someone who gets on your nerves the least. I’ve roomed with a friend from high school, a girl BFF, randoms AND boys. Personally, I adore living with guy friends (though they can be somewhat sloppy and don’t have cute dresses to share) and I had success living with my college bestie as well. Even a few random roommates became close friends of mine. I would suggest picking someone you know very well and that shares similar living styles. Similar sleep, work, party and class schedules are great too. You definitely don’t want to share a bedroom with an early bird if you hit the hay at 4 AM. Look for chicas (or chicos) who are laid back, respectful and aren’t overwhelming. If all else fails, do the random roomie thing. Sometimes it can suck, but most likely it’ll work out!

If I go home with a guy, do I have to sleep with him?
NO. If you don’t want to, don’t. Don’t feel guilty or obligated to do more than you want. Just because you invited him to be a guest in your home (or vice versa) doesn’t mean you’re obliged to do anything that you don’t want to.

When am I going to start feeling more at home here?
I’d say typically towards the end of your first semester, but it’s different for everyone. I never felt at home at my first school, so I transferred. If you’re super miserable? Look into transfer options. In my heart I knew that my first college wasn’t the right fit for me, so halfway through freshie year I applied to transfer and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m not suggesting to transfer the instant you feel out of place, but if you’re so uncomfortable at school, don’t be afraid of the option! Make the most out of college.

And why not? Despite the stereotype that college students just eff around playing beer pong for four years straight, being a college student isn’t easy. (And, hello, we play flip cup, too!)

Over at US News, they documented some of the most commonly hated problems about being in college student. And we totally agree: getting closed out of the classes we need brings us to tears (and sends us into a pity binge of wine and nachos) and the boring professors make me want to rip the hair out my head.

But when I got to thinking about it, isn’t college really just one big love/ hate relationship? Sure we complain about a lot of things, but secretly deep down, we find the silver lining.

"The prof will never know I'm gone!"

Big Classes

Hate: Who hasn’t groaned when they walked into the first class of the semester to find 400 other people cramming their way into the lecture hall? How are you supposed to learn anything when you have to battle a sea of hands to ask a question? And your professor will never recognize how brilliant your paper is when he has hundreds of others to read.

Love: As the semester wears on and you decide to sleep though a couple of classes, you start to see the upside. The guy will never notice the empty seat, and attendance doesn’t affect your grade. And if you don’t get to the reading he assigned, it doesn’t really matter because it’s easy to hide out in the back and never get called on.

"Hopefully showing off my boobs will distract him from the fact that my ID says I'm 35."

The Liquor Store

Hate: You walk in and instantly all eyes are on you. They get a kick out of it, really. “Here’s another underage little kiddie coming to get some Mike’s Hard Lemonade for their party.” It’s insulting, and embarrassing. But it’s your turn in the rotation, so you really have no choice. When you get to the register he looks at your crappy ID, then at you, then at your crappy ID. Scared, you explain that you just dyed your hair brown last week and the nose ring is new. Then he scans the $12.99 price tag and asks for $25. He knows you won’t argue, because, let’s be real, he’s doing you the favor here. So you bask in the humiliation and fork it over.

Love: But the minute you step out of the liquor store, vodka in one hand, some wine coolers in the other, you feel the triumphant glow spread through your body. You have an armful of proof that you have successfully purchased booze, and you float back to your dorm. Nothing quite beats that feeling of success, even if it comes at a steep, inflated price.

"I need Jimmy Johns freaky good, freaky fast, freaky right now."

Midterms

Hate: We whine about midterms like it’s our job. Memorize everything we have learned in the last 3 months?! How dare they! We lose a week of our lives we can never get back holed up in the library, and all the flashcards are surely having an adverse affect on our eyesight.

Love: Midterms gives us the excuse to walk around in the sweatpant-Uggs-baggy sweater combo for a week and hold study sessions in Starbucks that inevitably turn into caffeine-fueled gossip hour. Not to mention that midterm snacking is the only time it is socially acceptable to gain five pounds from ordering in food every night. It’s not your fault that you don’t have time to cook and everyone knows that studying and the munchies go together like cheese and greasy breadsticks. Which you are currently eating. By yourself.

Plus, when they’re over you have an excuse to drink your face off for a week straight.

"Hey! Let's all pretend we split the work up evenly even though I'm doing it all!"

Group Projects

Hate: I freakin’ hate group projects. I always seem to end up in the slacker group with the pothead who can’t form complete sentences and the drama queen that has so many other important responsibilities she couldn’t possibly have time to meet up to make a PowerPoint. So what option do you really have? You stay up all night in the library making presentation slides alone, so that your whole group can bask in the glory of you’re A+ work. Yea, it’s annoying.

Love: Then again, it’s ten times easier to speak in front of room full of people when you have three other students by your side. Plus, group projects are usually jokes anyway, and they are never graded as hard as the solo ones. And if it gets me out of writing a paper, I will gladly take two hours to put some pictures and facts in a PowerPoint.

"Maybe rolling in just in time for dinner isn't such a bad idea."

The Final Final Exam

Hate: Life is so unfair! While everyone else in the world is curled up in front of a fire relaxing, buying Christmas gifts, and baking with their families, we get stuck with the last final on the last day of exam week. Again. And to add insult to injury, the dorm cafeteria closed three days ago and we’re forced to walk out in the bitter cold to the only caf that is still serving food. All the way across campus.

Love: But when you call mom to check in, you hear Aunt Ida screeching at Uncle Ed in the background and she’s ordering your little sister to get out the naked baby pictures to show her new boyfriend. Perhaps having to wait until December 23^rd to head home for winter break isn’t the worst thing after all. You get out of having to set the table (which your mom insists on doing a week ahead of time) and you aren’t forced to sit and listen to Grandpa Jack’s war stories for the hundredth time.

October is the best month of the whole year: apple cider, long weekends (Columbus day), and Halloween parties galore. Of course, the world is a cruel place, so amidst all the fun fall festivities, we also get crushed with the madness of midterms.

I think it’s about time we stop letting a few little exams ruin the best party month of the year, so I’ve put together a guide with everything you need to enjoy your midterms.

Study-Group Sloshfest

A lot of people find it more tolerable to study in a group, and a lot of people find it more tolerable to be in a group when they’re wasted. Why not combine the two? Set up a study group, ask each other questions, and anyone who gets one wrong takes a shot. When someone passes out, use their skin as notepaper to write out difficult facts or formulas. They won’t forget the answers next time!

The Best Friend/ Boyfriend / Boy-Down-The-Hall with Adderall

I can guarantee that someone you know has an Adderall prescription. Find them and get to know them; they are your new best friend. If you’re able to obtain a few (or fifty) Adderall, you’ll be able to put off all your studying until a night or two before your exams, leaving your weekends completely free for apple-picking and Halloween parties!

Catch Swine Flu

At my school, the administration is so paranoid about an outbreak that they don’t even want students with flu symptoms to go to the health center. If you have flu symptoms, you’re just supposed to call and report your symptoms, then stay quarantined in your room for days. Since you don’t need to show any proof, it’d be easy to catch the flu the day before, say, midterm week begins. I’d check to see if your own school has similar policies.

Exam Comedy Special

So you got too drunk to learn anything during study group, couldn’t find any Adderall, and your school requires you to actually see a doctor before they diagnose you with the flu. Don’t fret just yet; all hope is not lost. Make your professor laugh with clever answers and they’ll forget all about the fact that you have no idea what you’re talking about. If you aren’t clever enough on your own, there’s always the classic find x ditty to fall back on.

These tips may not help your GPA this semester, but they will protect your sanity. Do you have any more suggestions for making midterm season a little more bearable?