Q: I have been getting extremely horrible PMS symptoms. I’m incredibly moody – sometimes to the point that I can’t get out of bed – my cramps are awful and I keep breaking out. Is there anything I can do to fix this?

A: I’m so sorry your menstrual cycles have been torturing you.  Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can definitely turn the sweetest angel into the evilest monster around that time of the month.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. If your PMS is seriously affecting your well-being, relationships, job, or life, you may have a more serious form of PMS called PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder), so you may benefit from seeing a doctor.  But until then, here’s some tips:

Improving your PMS symptoms naturally:
- Eat a whole foods diet. You’ve heard it before, but it really does help. That means cutting back on sugar, refined carbohydrates, dairy, caffeine, processed foods, and saturated and hydrogenated (trans) fats, and instead adding fruits, veggies, and whole grains, especially during the luteal phase (second half) of your cycle. Sorry, but that means bye-bye chocolate.

- Increase essential fatty acids by eating nuts, seeds, and fish.

- Manage your stress effectively. Try yoga, meditation, massage, or guided imagery CD’s.

- Engage in regular aerobic exercise. A good, long hike helps regulate your hormones and your stress, and it builds up happy-making endorphins.

- Take a multivitamin and 1200mg of calcium/day.

- Talk to an integrative medicine doctor about how to use supplements to help your PMS symptoms. Alternative medicine therapies like acupuncture can also help.

Improving your PMS symptoms medically:
If you’ve tried everything and nothing helps, don’t despair. Apologize to your friends and family for chewing their head off, but blame your hormones. Talk to your doctor about how bioidentical hormones or birth control pills can help. If you have the more severe form of PMDD, you can blame your brain chemistry. If the serotonin levels in your brain are low, you may benefit from taking an anti-depressant, either daily or during the last two weeks of your cycle. To meet criteria for this diagnosis, you must experience five or more of the following symptoms during most of the week before your menses, and they must interfere significantly with your daily life and relationships. At least one of the first four symptoms must be present:

1. Significantly depressed mood, hopelessness, self-deprecating thoughts
2. Significant anxiety, tension, feeling irritable, uptight.
3. Sudden mood changes of sadness, weepiness, or easily feeling rejected
4. Anger or irritability or increased conflict with others
5. Lack of motivation for usual activities
6. Difficulty concentrating
7. Lethargy, easily fatigued, low energy
8. Changes in appetite, overeating, food cravings
9. Sleeping too much or insomnia
10. Overwhelmed, feeling out of control
11. Additional physical symptoms, such as breast tenderness, swelling, headaches, join or muscle pain, bloating, weight gain

Improving your PMS symptoms mentally:
Some theorize that PMS is nature’s way of making you slow down and take stock of your life. We can’t be Superwomen all the time, and maybe your body is telling you it’s chick-flick night, and you need some personal, quiet time. So if you can, take this time to listen to your body, write in your journal, and reflect. Is there something else going in in your life that might need to be addressed? Do you really hate the direction your life is taking? Are you unhappy in a relationship? Do you have some things in your past you might need to address with a therapist? Are you not living authentically? Our bodies are often the mirrors of our souls and psyches, so take stock, and make sure you’re not ignoring some glaring issue in your life.

If you’ve checked deeper and all is well, don’t worry.  If you’ve tried everything natural and nothing helps, talk to your doctor about a trial of continuous birth control pills, which will also help your acne breakouts. By taking the Pill every day and skipping your cycle, you can often eliminate PMS symptoms altogether.  If that doesn’t help, antidepressants may be necessary.  You don’t have to be a complete mess before your period. Take charge of your life and your health, and help your body help you by treating it like the temple it is.

[Check out Dr. Lissa at OwningPink.com]

Dear PMS:

Why?
Just why?

Who do you think you are? I mean really. You come around once a month like that annoying friend you don’t really want to hear from, yet every month, without fail, she asks you for plans and you feel sort of obligated. So you give in, but then coffee turns into an all day shopping ordeal and by the end you want to tear your hair out because now not only did you learn that you can’t stand the person you are with, but  – bonus lesson! – you learned that eating cookies DOES in fact equal having to buy a size up in your jeans.

Well that’s how I feel with you. Only instead of a day, it’s 5 and the only person I can’t stand to be around is myself. (The part of the too-tight jeans rings true thanks to you making me feel the urge to eat a bag of something salty, which of course leads me to want something sweet, which then of course leads me to want a tuna sandwich. I know! I don’t get it either!)

You make me weepy. I cry at Disney commercials (true story) and when the cheesy music comes on as the lesson is learned at the end of Full House. Strike that – you make me actually want to watch Full House.

You make my boobs hurt so much that I have to wear two sports bras to workout…and one to sleep. I can’t even put a shirt on without wincing in pain; forget sleeping on my stomach. Or, I don’t know, letting a boy anywhere near them.

You make my skin revert back to its 13 year old ways. Do you remember what its like to be 13, PMS? Do you? I don’t think you do, because if you did then you would vividly remember the time that cute boy Josh Schwartz asked me why Mount Everest decide to relocate to my face because, in his opinion, Mt. Everest was doing just fine where it was and that I should be in an advertisement for Clearasil. That would be reason enough to never ever give me a pimple again. But noooo – even in my young adult life, every month you feel the need to sprout a pimple right in the center of my face. And not just any pimple – you prefer the special giant kind that starts from underneath and is more painful than any period cramp in the history of cramps.  (Don’t even get me started on those.)

You make me moody – probabaly because I look like sh*t and my pants don’t button – but either way I’m a total bitch to the rest of the world. And the worst part is: I realize I’m doing it. Inside my head I say, “Jill stop being such a moody bitch,” but then word vomit – the bitch version – takes over and everything mean and insensitive and downright bitchy just comes out.

I mean, I get it – they (my mother) say you are really a gift because not only do I know for sure that I’m not popping one out in 9 months, but you are also preparing me for childbirth. That the cramps are really a blessing because they are preparing me for contractions. That I should embrace mother nature and say “No means NO” to Advil and instead say “Hollerrrr!” to an amazing experience that will one day be a baby’s head coming out of my Vagina.

But I. don’t. care. I saw Knocked Up and I am already in therapy for it, so give me a freaking break. Much like the annoying drunk, the needy girl and the chick who always ditches her friends for her boyfriend, you are one friend I can definitely do without.

That is all.

No love,
Jill

And I needed to pee. (But of course I couldn’t).

Being with a bunch of guys, no one understood just what I was going through. In fact, they thought it was really hilarious. And wouldn’t let me get near the bathroom. But while they laughed, my body ached. So I slapped the guy nearest to the bathroom and shoved my way in. Yes, I hit him…and I do not regret it.

Urinary Tract Infections are one of the most painful things that you can experience. They burn. They ache. They make your pee smell foul. They make you feel like you have to urinate constantly, but when you try to go-you can’t!

And if all that isn’t bad enough, they could lead to septicemia, which is a nice way of saying you could lose your limbs. For real. Just ask Brazilian bombshell (and Miss World contestant) Mariana Bridi da Costa. She recently had her hands and feet amputated and it all stemmed from a terrible UTI.

So, yeah, they’re absolutely awful.

Luckily, my years of getting the infection have taught me how to avoid it. If you’re in the market to avoid UTIs (and, trust me you should be), take my advice and follow these tips:

-Have good hygiene. It may sound gross, but wipe yourself from front to back when you use the bathroom; wash the skin between the vagina and anus daily; and always pee and wash up after sexual intercourse. The bacteria from the anus is definitely a huge cause of UTIs, so making sure that stuff doesn’t get near your vajay will help out a great deal.

-Drink your fluids! Drinking lots of fluids, particularly water, will flush your system regularly and decrease your risk of UTI.

-Take your vitamins. Getting essential vitamins needs to happen if you’re going to avoid things like UTIs. Vitamin C, for instance, helps out a great deal.

Something you should know:

If you get a UTI, you need to take antibiotics to get rid of it. When I had a particularly severe UTI (which I mentioned above), I made the mistake of trying to take care of it myself. The infection ended up spreading to my kidney and almost to my blood within a week. I was carried into the E.R. due to pain so severe that I could not walk. The doctors told me I could have died from it had it spread to my blood.

Don’t take the risk. Make sure you take care of it the right way…with a doctor and not a few bottles of cranberry juice..

(Photo from: uab.edu)

We talk a lot about birth control around here (a natural progression from our daily musings about sex). We think its ability to stop babies is pretty badass, but many of us aren’t sure if that is worth all the crappy side effects: headaches, bloat, moodiness, debilitating cramps….We seriously thought we had it pretty bad until we found out that all of our suffering was nothing compared to those unlucky ladies who opted for the birth control patch.

While it was marketed as every woman’s dream birth control option (“Lower estrogen! Lasts all month! No need to remember those pesky daily pills!”), it has recently become every woman’s worst nightmare.

“The patch actually delivered much higher doses of estrogen than the pill; Johnson & Johnson failed to reveal this to the public for six years. At least fifty deaths have been attributed to the patch because of this, with thousands more women reporting alarming symptoms.”

The people behind the patch have been dealing with major lawsuits from patch users who experienced blood clots, strokes and heart attacks!

We love our ability to enjoy sex without the worry of havin’ a baby (and getting those awful stretch marks), but really? Stroke? Death? Does Johnson & Johnson really think women are willing to risk their lives for a little no-strings-attached booty?

If you are on the patch, get off of it NOW. There are plenty of other options for you: the pill, the Nuva Ring, an IUD, condoms, or, the tastiest option, Diet Coke? Just tear that thing off and call your doc. Fo realz.

But what choice do we have, really? Condoms aren’t perfect, abstinence isn’t gonna happen, and I can barely take care of myself, let alone bring a child into my world.

Oh, and guys are always expecting it now! Seriously; I once told my ex that I wasn’t taking the pill and he looked at me like I had just told him I pooped in his shoe. How is that fair?

If only there were a birth control pill for guys. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Let them deal with all the crap we’ve been taking care of for years. Do you think guys would take it? Do you even think they know how good they have it?

Angry (it’s not my fault; my hormones go nuts on this damn pill!) I asked a boy those very questions. His answers surprised me (and made me cry…again, the hormones).

Feel a little bitchier, a little easier to cry than normal? No, it’s not in your head. It’s those damn hormones. Strange feelings come over us all that week before our period comes. Is my boyfriend cheating on me?, am I fat?, blah, blah, blah. Don’t let these thoughts stay with you and don’t let cramps ruin your day! Yoga can help.

Supta Baddha Konasana, also known as Goddess Pose, is a great pose to soothe PMS, cramping, and detox all that hormonal negativity.

Here’s what you do:

If you have a yoga mat, grab it. If not, this will work all the same.

Grab a blanket and a pillow. Roll the blanket up, then lay on the floor placing the rolled up blanket at the base of your sacrum (near your tail bone).

Lay atop the pillow letting your body sink into the floor or mat. Then, with your head resting off the edge of the pillow, pull your feet together and let your knees fall toward the ground; this will open your hips. (If this stretch becomes too intense, you can place two smaller pillows under each knee.)

Next raise your arms up over your head. Raising the arms overhead with allow the digestive system to release and open. Once you feel comfortable in this pose begin to inhale and exhale (through your nose and out your mouth) and pay attention to your breath. Your body will begin to relax naturally, making you feel better both mentally and physically. Repeat this practice as many times as you need to in order to get rid of all that negative energy.

This pose, Supta Baddha Konasana, is consider a restorative pose.

So go ahead: relax, breathe and restore.

Thankfully, I’m not one to get horrible PMS. I get cramps – oh yes, do I get cramps – and there are a few days there when I feel like my entire body is made of big, fatty bricks, but I’m not one of those girls who threaten to kick your ass when you cut in front of her in the beer pong line or bursts into tears in the middle of the street for no reason during her period.

But what if you or somebody you know is one of those girls? Like it or not, PMS can be brutal; for the person suffering, as well as the people on the peripheral of the sufferer. PMS has been known to start fights, cause boyfriends to stand in complete confusion, and turn your best friend into a sudden raging beeetch who screams in your face for no reason. This is why, friends, we all need PMSBuddy.

PMSBuddy is a new handy-dandy website that lets you know when the women in your life are about to step off the ledge known as PMS. Get your friends to give you personal information about their flow (weird? You decide), and then add it to PMSBuddy‘s colorful little chart. In no time, you’ll be keeping track of all those wayward tears, tempter flair-ups, and immediate needs for chocolate. Plus, you’ll be able to stop taking anything personally during that time-span!

Think life can’t get better? Oh, life can always get better. PMSBuddy even has a Facebook application! I mean, who doesn’t want the world to know about their flow, or the flow of their friends??!

So, in conclusion…PMSBuddy will save your life.

As someone who’s been taking it for 7 years, I obviously flipped out upon reading, because what the hell I’m just trying to stop my monster cramps and not have a baby!??!!

After getting my period at the age of 10 (yes, feel sorry for me), I have had over ten + years to perfect dealing with this monthly nuisance. I am one of those chicks that gets her period BAD, like, cry on the bathroom floor bad. So, here’s how I’ve learned to deal (and some of my favorite, get-me-through-this-week, tips):

Pain Reliever. Any type of anti-inflammatory will work fine, but Pamprin is the best solution for those bad back and tummy pains. You’ll feel like new in no time!

Exercise. While it may be the last thing you want to do, any type of exercise will raise your endorphin levels and alleviate the tension in your lower area. My favorite is to jump on my treadmill and, while I feel like a mess on there, I feel much better when my workout is over.

Heat. Applying some heat to your pelvic area will break up the muscle cramping. If you can’t have a hot blanket wrapped around you at all times, the Heat Factory warmers or ThermaCare Heat Wraps are perfect to stick on the inside of your underwear for eight hours of warm, soothing comfort!

Tea. Herbal tea can give your body nutrients it needs to stay hydrated, so your muscles don’t cramp up (cramps are caused by dehydration ladies!).

Diet. No, I don’t mean starve yourself! I’m talking about eating the right foods, such as lean meats with lots of iron, as a way to replenish your body of its blood (and, therefore, iron) loss.

Potassium. Lots of b-a-n-a-n-a-s and potatoes will give you healthy doses of potassium, a nutrient that helps alleviate menstrual cramps.

Au Naturale. According to Prevention.com, aromatherapy methods, if you choose to believe, can help soothe and relieve lots of various types of ailments, including menstrual cramps. Fifteen minute aromatherapy massages (which you can do by yourself – all you need is some oils!) with an almond, lavender, rose and/or clary sage essential oils to soothe the muscles as you go.

So there you have it! I hope they work for ya. There’s nothing worse than being uncomfortable for five days every month. With these new remedies, you may not even know Aunt Flow stopped in for a visit (except for the whole lack-of-booty thing)!!!

[Photo courtesy of TeamSugar.com]

It’s the start of a new week and already I feel haggard and exhausted. My moods are swinging like a particularly feisty pendulum and my breasts ache. It can only mean one thing: my good friend PMS is on the horizon.

The beginnings of some minor stomach cramps, an increased feeling of self-consciousness and a patience threshold shorter than my small toe surface like clockwork once a month, warning me of impending pain and the cycle of womanhood.

Thankfully I am not alone, basking in the dull glory of 90% of menstruating women who currently experience some form of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. There are at least a hundred symptoms, though women experience a mix of just a few. The most common include irritability, loss of confidence, poor concentration, crying for no particular reason and the infamous mood swings, as feared by boyfriends and spouses the world over.

I myself am prone to similar experiences as mentioned above, along with an unpleasant notion of feeling like a beached whale and wishing my bedroom were the sea and my bed the sand, so I could waddle on my belly to bask in comfort and perhaps make a few guessed interpretations of what I would consider to be whale groans.

Treating such a varied problem is a tricky business; it is difficult to differentiate the factors which stem from the stresses of every day life to those blown out of proportion by PMS. There are treatments available, though it is suggested to increase your intake of vitamin B6 and evening primrose oil before considering something more invasive.

I’m lucky in the sense that I know my body well. I know when my PMS is flaring up, hence I can control it to a limited extent (such as warning those around me of possible temper tantrums beforehand!). A balanced diet also helps, as does a regular influx of water into your system which helps keep you hydrated. Peppermint tea also works wonders, as does camomile. Exercise – though it may be the last thing you feel like doing – also helps clear your mind and offers a rush of natural endorphins.

Despite the hassle of PMS, the one positive thing I have found is that you can get away with murder. Literally. And in a way, that almost makes up for the stresses and strains of being a woman. Almost.

What symptoms do YOU suffer from? How do they affect your everyday life, and how well can you control it? Let us know.