It’s the start of a new week and already I feel haggard and exhausted. My moods are swinging like a particularly feisty pendulum and my breasts ache. It can only mean one thing: my good friend PMS is on the horizon.

The beginnings of some minor stomach cramps, an increased feeling of self-consciousness and a patience threshold shorter than my small toe surface like clockwork once a month, warning me of impending pain and the cycle of womanhood.

Thankfully I am not alone, basking in the dull glory of 90% of menstruating women who currently experience some form of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. There are at least a hundred symptoms, though women experience a mix of just a few. The most common include irritability, loss of confidence, poor concentration, crying for no particular reason and the infamous mood swings, as feared by boyfriends and spouses the world over.

I myself am prone to similar experiences as mentioned above, along with an unpleasant notion of feeling like a beached whale and wishing my bedroom were the sea and my bed the sand, so I could waddle on my belly to bask in comfort and perhaps make a few guessed interpretations of what I would consider to be whale groans. Read More »

This scenario is all too familiar: You, crunched over in a ball with an empty bag of potato chips and chocolate bar wrappers strewn about yelling out “Why God why!?” while wondering if you’re considered ‘Promises Rehab’ status if you take ten Advil.If there is anything that my period cramps have taught me it’s that I soo do not want to have children. They say cramps are supposed to prepare your body for childbearing. I even read that because of this fact, I should ‘man up and face the pain’.

Nothing says “Let’s get pregnant” like debilitating cramps that ruin my weekend and keep me in fetal position for hours at a time. Childbirth is going to be like cupcakes and dandelions. Can’t wait.

When it comes to cramps I would say I take the opposite route of “manning up”. Heating pads, drugs, exercise, (booze?), whatever is necessary to help me get rid of the pain, I welcome with open arms. Read More »

How fantabulous is that special time of the month when Auntie Flo comes to town? You know, the time where we cry over nothing, breakout like we are in 9th grade, look like we just got breast implants, and want to remove our uterus ourselves with the sharpest untensil we can find because it hurts so badly.

Oh, and we proceed to eat every fatty, salty, chocolaty, everything that is in our path no matter how hard we were working out the week before.

So, when searching for this week’s recipes- I thought, “IDEA! Why not give our faithful CC readers some easy recipes that will satisfy your PMS cravings and not pack on the pounds?“

So sit back with some Midol, a heating pad, a good ‘ol sappy movie and a big, huge fork and indulge — sans guilt!

Oven Baked French Fries

(with ketchup, and a little salt they will taste like the real deal- try sweet potatoes if your feeling crazy!)

What you need:

6 lg. russet or other baking potatoes, scrubbed

Vegetable spray

Directions:

Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Cut potatoes into 1/2 inch strips or leave thicker if you prefer more of a potato wedge. Lightly spray baking pan with vegetable spray. Lay potatoes in a single layer on baking sheet.

Spray strips with vegetable spray before placing pan in oven. Bake 15-20 minutes, turn them and continue baking until crisp and browned, approximately 15-20 minutes more. Read More »

• Apparently sex is the antidote for every terrible ailment from the common cold to cramps. Too bad it’s also the cause of herpes and babies. (pravda.ru)

• Remember that stupid anti-drug commercial where the kids get high and shoot their friend with a gun? Remember how ridiculous it seemed? Well, it happens. (WKMG Orlando)

• Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the definition of ignorant. (CNN.com)

• Stop assuming your boyfriend doesn’t like to cuddle and he’ll stop assuming that all girls want to romantic, candle-lit sex. (The Today Show)

• Mini-cows on mini-ranches that are “as sweet as the dickens”? Awwww. (upi.com)

• Please don’t ever do this. Please. (You Tube)