[The following post was written by dating coach, Kira Sabin, a keg of dating and relationship wisdom. She's been helping people find love for years so we thought we'd tap this keg and see what sort of brilliant advice she has for the CollegeCandy readers. Drink up!]

OK ladies, we need to have a little tough love talk today. I hate to say it but sometimes I am a little confused by my own gender. As a coach I try to remain really neutral. I truly have met some amazing single men and women who make me want to be a better person. But the stories I have been hearing lately! Yikes.

A few times I have been out with my friend G and all of a sudden his Blackberry will light up. He will look at it and then shake his head. Once again, it is a woman who had a conversation with ONE evening and now she texts him 2 or 3 nights a week. Numerous times, while I have been in his presence, asking him to grab a drink. He has never said yes, he has never led her on or to believe that he is interested. Yet still, she texts and texts and texts.

One of my other clients has been waking up to texts daily with a woman he has been out with on TWO dates. Really?

Another client was told by a woman he had been on THREE dates with that he was not trying to maul her and obviously was not interested in her. Even though he is recently out of a major relationship, had his heart broken and wanted to take it slow.  True story.

Ladies, stop texting, Facebooking and emailing. Put down the phones and listen up.

Here is the deal. These are great guys. Really great, but they have no idea how to deal with these situations and although these women could have been possibilities at some point, these guys are backed into a corner scratching their heads, wondering how to get the hell out. These are the types of guys you WANT to date. They are smart, funny, attractive, successful…the whole package. But coming on to them with the full court press has left them confused and even a little frightened. It is making it harder on the rest of single women everywhere and is certainly not going to get you quality dates.

Don’t misunderstand me. I regularly let women know how important it is to let men know you are interested because the slightly subtle signs you are sending are probably being missed and they are not sure whether to ask you out again or not.   If they are confused that you are interested, lots of the great guys won’t stay around to figure it out. But just like politics, extremes are not welcome in dating. Assuming that just because you had a great conversation or a couple of good dates that this is going somewhere is just plain nutters and can take you from zero to crazy in less than 60 seconds.

As a dating coach I am the first one to admit this: we have made this love/relationship really, really complicated.  Hell, we have made basic human interaction uncommon.  We are so busy taking the easy way out through texting and Facebooking (which has a whole lot of its own issues), trying to connect the safe way that we all get tangled up in the wires.  If you had a good meeting, date, etc. and make sure they know you are interested, take a deep breath and smile.   Everyone moves at their own pace and constantly trying to make everyone move at your pace is going to leave you scratching your head as you pour another “woe is me” drink with your friends.  Yes, it sucks to be stuck in that crappy ass nervous place waiting for a phone call, but do you really want to date someone that wasn’t willing to feel a little nervous for awhile for you?

Slow down. Think about it. Stop the regular texting…if they were interested they would call you. Please, for the good of all womankind.

[Looking to get more tips, tricks and just some damn good advice?  Join me with CollegeCandy this January for our first College Candy Dating Makeover.  Who’s excited?!]

Though we hate it when guys call us crazy/psycho, every girl out there has had their moment. For me, it was when I drafted an email to a non-existent person and “accidentally” sent it to my crush, forcing him to write back. Or the time I called a different crush’s work and used a fake name to see if he was indeed working late or just lying to me to hook up with some other girl. Or when I used to walk by yet another crush’s dorm to see if his light was on and if he was home.

Ok, so I’ve had my fair share of crazy-time, but it’s not my fault. I’m not a crazy person – boys just make me that way. And I know you ladies can relate.

After leaving a long, drunken voicemail for my newest conquest last weekend (“I don’t understand why you’re not calling me. I like you. Do you like me? Oh god I sound crazy. I’m not cra-” This is where my friend grabbed the phone and threw it across the room…), I sobered up, wiped up my dignity and deleted his number from my phone.

Then, as I sat indulging in some pretzels dipped in frosting, I started wondering what other girls were taking a ride on the crazy train. While no one wanted to admit it, I forced the CollegeCandy writers to fess up to their lowest moments.

Zahra – Northwestern University: When one guy I was with decided to just disappear, I wasn’t having it. I called him tons of times and wrote him texts that went on for pages…ugh. Seriously, I shudder when I think of how psycho I was acting.

Kim – Stanford: I went a little crazy when I sent a text message from HIS phone to this girl that always hit on him that he thought she was ugly and really didn’t like her personality and to stop texting him.  Yeah, the girl never hit on him again after that.

Maddie – Tufts: Probably the time that I went on my ex-boyfriends Facebook and read his messages. Oops.

Anna – Northeastern University: My roommate was obsessed with this guy that she hadn’t met, but seen at his place of work. She found him on Twitter and made a fake Facebook account to stalk him. Then one night when she was really drunk and couldn’t find our other friends at a party she went next door to where he worked (a bar) and started ordering drinks. Basically the night ended with her following him out when his shift ended, grabbing his head, and making out with him.

Lauren – University of Michigan: After meeting a really hot guy at a bar and totally hitting it off, I had to leave to take care of a friend. I never got his number so I went back the next weekend and grilled the bartender to see if he remembered who he was and if he might have a credit card receipt for him. What? It works on Law and Order…

Katie – Michigan State University: A couple years ago, my boyfriend went back home to Korea for the summer and begged me to do a long distance relationship with him.  Funny thing was, he dropped all communication a week after he got there.  So, naturally, I stalked one of his friends on MSN, struck up a phony friendship, asked for my boyfriend’s Korean phone number and proceeded to call him 17 times in one night.  Not only did he never answer my calls/e-mails, I also got stuck with a ginormous phone bill.

Leah – Ryerson University: I took the car keys of a guy I was interested in so that 1) he couldn’t drive home (2 hours away) that night and 2) so he would have to see me again.  To my defence it was less craziness, and more 4 glasses of wine and 4 shots.

Brithny- Duke: Nothing really crazy, but I do sometimes “accidentally” run into him on our way to class. Even though our classes on on the opposite ends of the campus. Thank you, FB schedules.

Thu – USC: This is probably more weird and embarrassing than crazy, but I remember back in middle school, my friends dared me to just say hi to my crush, who had no idea who I was. Not having the guts to do it face to face, I once yelled out hi to him from the passenger seat as my dad drove by. Needless to say, it didn’t accomplish anything.

Ness – Sheridan: Once every few weeks, I Facebook search a guy I used to be involved with. His profile is set to private, and I’m too much of a puss to send him a friend request, so I check out his profile pic every once in a while. Wow, that sounds so much worse when it’s written down…

Ricki-University of Michigan: I once stalked all of his photos just to figure out who his ex-girlfriend was…and then when I had to meet her, I pretended like I didn’t know who she was.

Alex K – Lakehead University: My craziest moment is probably stalking. I happen to be very good at finding boys on Facebook…. I have done drivebys before too….

You know you’ve pulled out the crazy before. Let it all out in the comments section – we won’t judge.

Are you psychotic in relationships? Have your significant others ever called you a crazy bitch? Insane? Needy? Any of the above? Here’s some signs that you just might be:

- You love the chase. Not to mention the ongoing drama and the on and off and the fighting, but once the guy gives you the attention and affection, you’re totally bored and want out.

- You constantly pine for a guy who DOESN’T LIKE YOU or worse, doesn’t even know you exist. He’s Just Not That Into You was written for you.

- You cheat. Oh man, do you ever cheat. You just do. You sometimes don’t mean it, but sometimes you do. You lie about it. You feel awful about it sometimes, but sometimes you don’t. Sometimes it’s just making out, sometimes it’s sex, sometimes it’s emotional, but it’s all cheating. And you do it. And sometimes you can’t stop once you start getting good at it.

- You love relationships so much that you’re absolutely miserable when you’re not in one (which is rare) and when you are in one you’re convinced he’s “The One” and you love being a couple and doing everything together and oh my god NO ONE LIKES HEARING ABOUT IT.

- You pick fights. The guy is totally normal and you spaz out over absolutely nothing. Maybe you break things. Maybe you hack his email or Facebook and freak out over the slightest flirtation. You just want to fight.

- You love douchebags. The only guys you are into treat you like the scum of the earth and you put up with it and give a million chances, and ‘totally forget’ about the time he cheated on you and then somehow are surprised and depressed when he finally leaves you for the other girl he’s been screwing around with the entire time you were dating him. Everyone saw that coming, but you. Get back down to earth, Space Jam.

- You’re in a totally healthy relationship right now with absolutely zero to complain about. You tell everyone about this totally healthy relationship and how your significant other is your best friend. You go to bed, assured that you will love them for the rest of your life. Even if your life span lasted 1000 years, you’d still be in love with them on your 932nd birthday. You would never want anyone other than this person. If you’re not in a relationship, you’re sure that this type of relationship exists.

Did you find yourself on this list? Congratulations. You’re not psychotic, you’re totally normal.

Define what the hell you’re doing wrong and work on it. It probably won’t be perfect, but it’s worth a shot. If not, don’t forget that 52% of marriages end in divorce anyway, so it’s not really your fault; you’re already statistically f**cked.

Awesome!

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

Wrong. All wrong. Wrong movie, wrong time, wrong situation. In all fairness, I kinda knew what was coming, having heard about the book well before the movie was even in the works. I didn’t like the idea of it then, but somehow between two weeks ago and last Friday, I decided that I needed to see the movie with the bestie as a girls’ night out scenario. Here’s why I advise that everyone without ironclad self-esteem skip the movie, at least until you can see it in the comfort of your home.

1. If you’re into escapism through upbeat movies, this is not the one for you. After two hours of ‘He Just Not That Into You’, not a single one of the main characters’ plot-lines even resembled positive. I was literally crawling out of my seat trying to salvage the remainder of a happy evening as commitments combusted, relationships crumbled, and ruthless reality checks conspired to sink the Girls’ Night. The only reason I made it through is because I had to see if the writers would actually throw the audience a bone and make a happy ending.

2. The movie is ruthless in its portrayal of female stereotypes. “He’s Just Not That Into You” isn’t just a depressing chick flick, it’s the anti-chick flick. Throughout the entire movie, I kept asking myself, “Do I actually do that? Am I that crazy?” The answer, according to “He’s Just Not That Into You,” is yes. We are all clingy, insane, insecure, naive, trusting idiots, who drive away our boyfriends and potential bfs by being like that. I don’t know about you, but movies that continuously reiterate that I’m completely psycho and clingy tend to turn me off at about the 60 minute mark.

3. Your faith in committed relationships will die a horrible death in the two hour and fifteen minute love massacre. After two hours of infidelity, dating disasters, and misguided love, there was not a girl in the theater who had faith in her relationship, or ability to secure one. Those of us who were single experienced what almost came off as anti-relationship propaganda (“If you do this, this, or this, your ovaries can kiss their chance at motherhood goodbye!”), and were left doubting every simple sentence we had ever spoken to the male gender. My friend, who has been in a committed relationship for the better part of a year and a half, had started to wonder if her boyfriend could have been cheating on her. The movie had a sinister talent for slipping insecurity into our minds, and then mocking us for being insecure.

4. There are better things to do on weeknights than going to a movie that strips down your character and makes fun of what it finds there. The movie seriously killed the happy, estrogen-filled mood of the evening, and left the two of us as quaking, emotional maniacs. I can honestly say that except for when I saw “Lord of the Rings” as a twelve year old, and was terrified by the Orcs, I have never wanted to leave a movie so fast (30 minutes in). Save your seven bucks for dollar pitchers downtown, not “He’s Just Not That Into You.”

5. The movie is more suitable as a look into Gender Studies than a romantic dramedy. I’ve had more laughs in my College Algebra class than this movie. If you do go, look at it as a gender wars type of thing, not something that will make you feel cheery and secure by the last minute happy ending. (It was a happy ending, it was just a too little-too late type of thing.) The movie is accurate in its portrayal of how men and women want different things out of life, and the plot turnaround towards the end was satisfying, but ultimately not enough to recover from the first two hours. It had the effect of a doctor suddenly giving you anaesthesia after your surgery already happened, with a “Look what I just found!” air.

So last week while talking to my male friend about red flags that send guys running, he touched on girls being crazy bitches. Because that is what all men say: they don’t like girls who are crazy bitches. I personally believe that guys think every girl is a crazy bitch (they throw the term and judgement around so easily), so I wanted to find out what this guy considered crazy.

Please note: I went a little crazy talking to him, so I apologize if I ruined it for the rest of you. I take full responsibility for my actions and am going to let all men know that I do not represent our entire gender. And, boys, I’m normally cool as a cucumber – when I’m medicated with caffiene and chocolate – so don’t run!

I don’t know if it was my tumultuous history with men that got me so emotional, or simply the pain of knowing that Matthew McConaughey will never be mine, but that movie gets me every time. And while I know that Kate Hudson’s character goes way over the top to push her man away, I really couldn’t stop wondering what kinds of things really send dudes running for the hills.

It is obvious I am doing something wrong – guys have been running away from me since we started playing playground tag in middle school. And now the game has long since been over, but I still can’t hold a man down…without the aid of handcuffs. But, let’s be real, that’s a whole different conversation.

I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting home alone with a chick flick for one more night so I turned to a guy to give me the answers: just what are ladies doing to send the boys packing?

Keep your head straight.

Prioritize your goals. Meeting a new guy, as awesome as it theoretically seems, should definitely not be numero uno on your list. No matter how much time and effort you dedicate to searching for your Prince Charming, it won’t pay off if that’s all your interested in. A) You will absolutely come off like that crazy girl from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days—and guys just aren’t into that. B) It’s Murphy’s Law that whatever you want will find you exactly when you’re not looking for it. And, most importantly, C) Maintaining your circle of friends, hobbies, talents and already great life in general is what makes you an interesting person in the first place; if you want to meet an interesting guy, don’t you think he’ll have the same expectations of you?

Get Sexy (-er).

Whether you’re already a bona fide bombshell or you’re ready for a complete face/wardrobe/etc., overhaul, getting dressed up to the point where you look HAWT and you know it is an instant guy magnet. Why is this? Well it’s more than your 4- inch stilettos and “ass jeans”—it’s the confidence you radiate knowing that you’re the bomb.com. So whatever you need to do to get yourself in the “You will worship the ground I walk on” frame of mind–be it a blowout, manicure, shopping spree or your favorite perfume—make it a habit before you go anywhere you think you may meet Mr. February 14th…and it could be somewhere you weren’t suspecting.

Location, Location, Location!

While getting wastey faced and shooting anything with testosterone your “sexy” bedroom eyes (more difficult to pull off than you’d think while inebriated!) was a perfectly effective method to reel in your midnight New Year’s kiss, it might not work when you’re setting your sights on something more than a one night stand. So skip the bars/club/ house party route and seek your dream boy somewhere outside the realm of beer goggles.

- Take advantage of the remaining New Year’s Resolutioners at the gym—but steer clear of the estrogen- overloaded ellipticals and head straight to the weight room. If you can get past the grunting, spray-tanned set (unless you’re into that) and check out the iron-pumping hotties, ask one that catches your eye to spot you. Bonus points if you have good form—maybe you can even give him a few pointers.

- Grab a girlfriend and go to a tennis court or indoor squash court. Not only do hot, sweaty guys abound , but you two will get to wear sweet outfits and get a fun workout in, regardless of if you meet anyone.

- Head over to good ol’ Starbucks, order yourself your favorite Venti and park yourself in the corner with a good book. Don’t get too absorbed though, and scan who enters every time the baristas welcome someone new; if he’s cute, give him a warm smile and pray he can’t find anywhere else to sit.

Carpe Diem!

When opportunity knocks, invite it in to curl up on the couch with you and watch the Dark Knight. When your best friend wants to set you up with her co-worker who mentioned a band you like, just let it happen. When your cute lab partner asks what your weekend plans are, bat those eyelashes while you tell him you may have some free time with his name on it. Keep an open mind and accept invitations you normally would pass on, for whatever reason. Even if you don’t meet your V-day partner, you may meet next year’s, or at least meet cool guys you otherwise never would have bothered with.

Whether you find someone before February 14th or not, living by some or all of these rules will pay off eventually. And if you don’t have a date on Cupid’s High Holy Day? Grab some Godiva and curl up with a nice slasher movie.

She may look cute and innocent, but look into those eyes. Those crazy eyes.

We can only imagine what she’s thinking: “Daddy will think a little harder before he says no next time.”

Don’t cross this toddler; she’ll eff you up.