I want to return to the issues of studies and irksome classmates I raised earlier, but first, a reader brought up two important factors that can lead to depression: (a) going to the wrong school and (b) dealing with wacko roommates. (I wanna thank one of my readers for adding these dimensions to the present discussion about depression in college).

These two things – knowing that you’re going to the wrong school and dealing with wacko roomies – shouldn’t be taken lightly either. A few years ago, I had a friend who became deeply depressed after she moved into a dorm room with her then best friend. After a few months in college, her best friend became sullen, withdrawn, and passive aggressive.

To make matters worse, her roomie acted out in petty, cruel ways. At the time, my friend felt trapped, because of her contractual agreement with the school and had to wait it out. Things were so tough, she sought counseling, and was able to use that as a channel to relieve stress and anxiety about the situation. When you’re in a living situation that’s gone bad, and you’re either (a) stuck in some contractual deal with your university or (b) bound to a lease, those feelings of being totally out of control can become very overwhelming. I won’t even venture into the realm of “unsolicited invitations” in which you’re exposed to your roommate’s sexual indiscretions. (We’ll deal with that later). Read More »

Dear Normal Roommates,

So – how are you? I’m probably the last person that you want to hear from but I want you to know that I’ve changed. Please just hear me out.

Before I started college, I remember hearing third and fourth hand stories about crazy roommates (You know those stories – I don’t need to summarize any of them for you). Because of those stories, I went into the dorms worried about the crazy that I might encounter, never once thinking that I could ever BE that storied roommate.

But as it turns out, I was indeed that person. On behalf of the crazies who realize that they were the crazy and the crazies who are still not aware of what their crazy is doing to their roommates, I am truly sorry and I hope that you can accept my/our apology.

Specifically to my freshman year roommates, A. and R., I apologize for coming back to our room in the middle of the night and drunkenly puttering around in the darkness. I truly believed that I was being quiet, but I only realize now that my quiet when I’m drunk equals ‘wake-you-up’ loud to unintoxicated ears. Read More »