I did my usual perusing of NYMag.com a few days ago to find America’s Next Top Model on the homepage, with a picture of some beautiful girl and the headline that “Miss Tyra threw a curveball” by selecting the first-ever plus-sized model to win. I haven’t seen the show in many a season, because Tyra Banks continued to be Tyra Banks and you can only see a marathon so many times, but needless to say, I was intrigued.

I frowned and scrolled back up to the picture. Hm. Come to think of it, her legs don’t look like they could be snapped in two by a twelve-year-old. But plus-sized? She didn’t really look plus-sized. I was perplexed. The consistent theory was that this “oversized” model was picked from the beginning as part of Tyra’s personal agenda to make reality TV history. Or something. Making a point that you don’t have to be skinny to be pretty.

It’s a great message, it is. Except this Whitney character really isn’t not skinny. But in the context of an industry full of waifs, she instantly becomes the fat girl. It’s like picking the hottest guy in a classroom only to find that he’s less attractive on the street among other civilians; you can’t base your judgment of a person in the confines of one element. Read More »

The crazy train that is Mel Gibson, Britney and her dad arrived in Costa Rica this morning to stay in Mel’s home for a mini-vacation.

Before I found out that Mel Gibson was indeed crazy, I would have been high-fiving Britney Spears in my head upon hearing this news. In fact, I might have still high-fived her in my head, but WTF, you’re bringing your dad with you?

Are these two friends? Like Hollywood kind of friends that are wink wink nudge nudge friends? Is this a publicity stunt?

Maybe they are going to do a project together. “Mad Max in the Britney Dome“? She can wear Tina Turner’s gear and sing “Gimme More” but this time she can do it with feeling.

As much as they seem to make an unlikely pair, I think that I like them spending time together. Lots of crazy plus lotsa crazy = a couple that isn’t so crazy. Once the crazy cups runneth over, there’s no where else to go but back down to normal, right?

Special thanks to ET for posting this important story with such urgency. They totally know what matters.

Last time, Heather and the exes tore through the house and stupid Megan finally went home.

Morning: The final four + Heather and Destiney’s hat remain and they all depart for Vegas in a learjet. I forgot that they did the Vegas thing during the first cycle of this show. No shock that they are staying at the Hard Rock. Good thing that everyone’s over 21.

Daisy’s neck tattoos are super prominent today. The girls suite has a table full of presents – what, no stripper pole?

Bret-o-gram – Jessica and Destiney have to change into some golf outfits and meet Bret downstairs. What a boring date.

Heather decides that they need to 80s it up. Seriously? Oh, she’s not serious. Ha. Even she knows that the 80s are out. They look re-f*cking-diculous. Read More »

In case you live under a rock, Britney Spears has officially gone crazier than any of us thought possible.

After freaking her sh*t last Thursday night when it came time to return her two sons to their less insane parent, Spears participated in a three-hour standoff before being rushed to a hospital on a stretcher and checking herself out less than 48 hours later (apparently too early for people admitted with psychological issues). While nobody’s saying exactly why Spears was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, it’s been reported that at the time of her hospitalization, she was “under the influence of an unknown substance”.

As if the circus wasn’t big enough, TV’s favorite media-whore “therapist” Dr. Phil got himself involved in Brit’s debacle, visiting her as she was checking out of the hospital and subsequently telling every news outlet that he was “very concerned” for her.

“My meeting with Britney and some family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention.” The TV doc is quoted as saying. “She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her.” Read More »

The holidays are a perfect time of year to sit back and reflect on what we’re most thankful for. Family, friends, warmth, PRESENTS…you know, all the good stuff life has brought us during the last 365 days.

Two things I am very thankful for this year? That I am not Jessica Simpson or Britney Spears.

At one time two of the hottest, most enviable babes out there, these days it’s hard for me to choose which one it would suck to be the most. To help me decide (and because I’m a little OCD), I’m complied a list.

If I was Jessica, I Would:

• Make movies that go straight to video

• Curse Tony Romo

• Have a dad who is certifiably smarmy

• Have sold my soul to MTV

• Have an untalented sister considered more talented than me

• Be known mostly for my boobs

• Own a website that looks like a high-quality ebay store Read More »

Being single is something I have cherished over the past few months. I have taken full advantage of my leg-shaving free showers and the ability to be completely selfish with my time. Being able to focus only on myself has allowed me to discover more of who I am as a philanthropist, a writer and a woman in general. I have grown stronger and more independent and I am truly grateful for the opportunity.

Yet, for some reason, it seems like one evening made me forget everything I have grown to appreciate over the past few months.

While out on a seemingly normal Saturday night last weekend, I met someone when I least expected it. He was intelligent, attractive and attracted to me. (Score!) We spent the evening talking and laughing and having a great time. I genuinely enjoyed the time I spent with him, which was something I haven’t had in a long time. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

I went home happy and excited. I wasn’t really looking for anything right now, but that is what made my night so thrilling. Still, I didn’t want to make anything more out of the situation than it was: two people hanging out with a side of blatant flirtation. Despite all of my internal dialogue, though, I couldn’t get the kid out of my head. No matter how many times I told myself to stop thinking about it, stop checking my phone and stop daydreaming about what would happen if I saw him again, I just couldn’t. Read More »

This can’t be any worse than legitimate dates I’ve been on.

Golf cart or electric car? It doesn’t matter! It’s adorable!

Video: Only Paris Hilton’s best friend would be the kinda girl to release a sex tape, get butt implants, then pose naked…just like her mother.

On Tom Cruise: “He taps into the zeitgeist,” says Cruise’s business partner, Paula Wagner. He also taps into crazy. And delusional.

Five minute nose job? I need it now!

Missed L.A. Ink this season? Let us catch you up!

Hey, everyone! New buzzword for 2008! FLILF! Yeah…it’s kinda gross to me too.

Chocolate gold or chocolate gold? It’s up to you!

Arkansas man nearly throws away a million little girl’s dreams. Or a 4.3 carat diamond. Whatever.

Is oral sex really ‘sex’? Let us know what you think!

Does anything this guy does shock anyone anymore??

David Copperfield, cheesy magician extraordinaire and island owner, can now add two more titles to his resume; possible rapist and certifiably crazy guy.

A Seattle woman is claiming Copperfield raped her in the Bahamas (perhaps on one of the 5 private islands he currently owns?), and last Thursday, FBI officials searched Copperfield’s Last Vegas warehouse of tricks in connection with the claim.

The magician’s attorney explained to Fox News that his client is aware of the charges, stating, “unfortunately false allegations are all too often made against famous individuals” and going on to say both he and Copperfield are “confident” everything will “conclude favorably.”

There’s something else Copperfield is confident about, however, that makes me wonder just how sane he actually is. Aside from being confident that he’s not going to jail for rape, the wacky magician is also confident that he’s found the Fountain of Youth on one of his tropical islands.

“I’ve discovered a true phenomenon,” Copperfield told Reuters last August. “You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again. … Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they’ll fly away. It’s an amazing thing, very, very exciting.“

Finding the Fountain of Youth is certainly something a guy should be congratulated on—that is, if the damn thing was actually plausible. Read More »

 This couple puts all those crazy cat lady stories to shame.

Earlier this week, officials invaded the New Jersey mansion of Philip Tamis, 66, and wife Cynthia Stewart, 49, finding over 100 “malnourished and neglected dogs and cats”.

ASPCA workers were horrified to find the old, decrepit mansion full of feces and decaying animals. Many of the dead cats and dogs had been deceased for over a year.

Apparently, Tamis was a Merrill Lynch securities broker, a man who went to work every day and came back every night to a house more disgusting than any one of those Saw movies. His wife…evidently spent all day milling around shit-strewn floors.

As rescuers carried out the animals that were still living on Tuesday, Cynthia Stewart reportedly ran to the door shouting, “they’re my babies!”

After the New York Post ran this story, people everywhere simultaneously decided their neighbors really weren’t so bad after all.

Either TMZ is telling a boldface lie, or Britney Spears has finally become 100% certifiably crazy.

The tacky tabloid is reporting that Ms. Insane’s photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine went so badly that the publishers are deciding whether “to report what actually happened—or sanitize the truth to protect the pop train wreck.”

Apparently, the mother of two was acting strange throughout the entire interview, and escaped “to the bathroom” a number of times, coming back from each trip a little more whacked out than before. Read More »