Back when Kate Upton’s Sports Illustrated cover came out, we gave you 17 reasons why Kate Upton is better than you. The post was made in fun, and was meant to celebrate Kate for being a beautiful, confident lady. But today, a new video came out that made us question our love for Kate Upton. In the video, she’s dancing around in her famous red bikini for documented creep photographer Terry Richardson.

Worst part? Terry actually reaches over to adjust Kate’s bikini strap at the beginning of the video. Eew. Come on Kate, don’t let him do that to you! Yeah, you look pretty great in that bikini. But the fact that you’re bouncing around for Terry Richardson makes our skin crawl. We still think you’re gorgeous, but your choices are getting a bit questionable.

So, in light of Kate’s bad judgment, here are 18 reasons why she’s NOT better than we are.

initiating the gallery...

Terry Richardson is one of America’s most successful fashion photographers. He’s also reportedly a huge creep, making models call him “Uncle Terry” and sexually harassing them. We’re not too surprised by this, given the fact that his photos are also super creepy. Lots of them include full frontal nudity, and we’ve kindly left those out. Click through the gallery to see Terry Richardson’s creepiest non-nude photos.

[lead image via terrysdiary.com]

This morning, a post over at Em and Lo caught our eye. They featured a comment from one of their readers on a post about oral sex. To be more exact, it was a post called “How Do I Tell My BF He Sucks at Oral?” Here’s what the comment said:

I’m an Old Guy, 70 to be exact. I have over 50 years of experience going down on women, and I can say without hesitation that each woman is different. Patience young men (and young women, too!), patience and a willing heart combined with a woman who feels SAFE telling you what she wants and can do so clearly…that is the key to bring many women to peak passionate release. For me there is nothing quite like pleasing a woman; first learning about her, and then pleasing her.

I want younger men and women to know that when I say practice and learning and all that, that I am not talking about years or even months. You can earn – as I did – the appellation of “an educated tongue” within a few hours or a few days. I was 23 when I was told for the first time – post cunnilingus, of course – that I had an “Educated Tongue.” And she wasn’t talking about linguistic facility in Mandarin. But she WAS talking about communication, that is communication between us via my tongue, lips, chin (yes boys, chin) and…this may be the most difficult to imagine without guffawing: my nose. (Settle down, Children, settle down…)

Now using virtually all of your facial features to pleasure a lady may seem not only far-fetched but just plain weird, but I’m trying to stir your imaginations; women are happy if you just learn to use your tongue intelligently and passionately (really truly enjoy what you are doing, Boys!). But if you’re willing to put in the time, then you may one day be able to surprise your woman with a double-tucking chin push followed by a nose-over combination double-twisting tongue-flip. That’s what took me fifty years to perfect! And I am only being slightly silly there, Lads. Some of those things I can actually still do!

My first reaction was that this is kind of great. If only all guys were really willing to take the time to figure out how best to satisfy the lady they’re with! But then I got a little creeped out. This guy is almost old enough to be my grandpa! And thinking of cute little old men performing oral sex is just…a little weird for me. But you know what? I’m sure that if I were a 70 year old lady, I would love to find a guy like that. So I think I can forgive him for the over-share, and I’ll try my best to push the creepy thoughts away.

Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.

[Lead image via Pinkcandy/Shutterstock]

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An open letter to a man riding a horse.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My roommate forced me to get an account on plentyoffish.com, where I actually met a really nice guy, Ryan.  We started talking and I found out that we went to the same high school, and graduated the same year (coincidence!).  We talked on Plenty of Fish for a few days and then I gave him my phone number (we did go to high school together, after all).

Everything was going GREAT and we really hit it off.  He’s Catholic, I’m Catholic. He’s a Republican, I’m a Republican.   He works construction, and he seems like a really nice person.  We have a lot in common and we remember each other from high school, kind of.

Here’s the PROBLEM. Every time we make plans to hangout, he ALWAYS backs out.  I mean I talk to the guy for at least an hour a day (texting, calling, Facebook, etc) and he won’t meet up.  He asked me out on a date once and I said sure and then we decided to meet at this concert we both wanted to go to. I told him to bring a friend, and I brought a friend…he never showed.

He always asks me out and asks me to hangout with him but then when we plan on meeting somewhere he stands me up or complains because he doesn’t want to meet my friends because it would be “awkward.”  YES of course it will be awkward at first, but have a few drinks, loosen up!

I think it would be awkward if we met just the two of us for the first time (since high school) without friends or at least alcohol present.  Am I wrong?  Should I meet him for lunch just the two of us, or should he just grow some BALLS and suck it up…meet my friends and ME?

I have a feeling that he might be the one…just from what we talk about and everything, but if we never meet, how can we have a relationship? Do I stop talking to him? On the other hand if I pass him up, I might regret it for the rest of my life. Opinion pleasee?!

-Stood up and Shot down.

Dear Stoop up and Shot down,

No! Bad girl!

In other words:

SIT THE FLOOP BACK DOWN.

Something is obviously SERIOUSLY wrong. He won’t meet up. He’s canceling or just not showing. In spite of you saying that you’re uncomfortable meeting solo the first time, he is insistent (and, in fact, unbudging) in his need to meet you by yourself.

SHADY SHADY SHADY.

No no no, girl. Don’t meet this guy without a friend. I am getting a BAD BAD vibe.

Okay, to be real, he is probably not a serial killer. He’s probably sinister in a much more minor way.

But why take the chance?!

Look, either way, he is purposely making you uncomfortable by insisting you do something you’ve already said you don’t want to do. If he’s already this creepy and pushy and controlling, how do you think he’s going to be in a relationship?!

And you want to MEET this guy?!?!!?!?!

No, girl. Sit. Heel. Stay.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

The Textaholic. The movie you’ve been dying to see for weeks now is about to begin and the message comes up on the screen reminding everyone to turn off their cell phones.  The movie starts and as you’re trying to enjoy Jacob’s shirtless bod in Twilight, you’re interrupted by the constant sound of clicking coming from behind you.  It’s two hours tops, people— put the phone away!  If something is really that important, take it outside.

Resolution: Texting Support Group. Enough said.

The Stinker. It may be your best friend or maybe even some random guy in line in a store, but either way— they stink.  Unfortunately, they are so used to their extreme body odor by now that they don’t even notice it anymore.  People may have even told them and they still refuse to jump in the shower once every few weeks.

Resolution: Febreze isn’t just for your mildewy apartment anymore….

The “Do You Like Seafood” Eater. I love to eat and I’m sure a lot of other people do too.  The thing I don’t like about eating is when I’m with someone else and they shovel food into their mouth, start talking, and their food ends up on my plate.  Sorry, do I look like a baby bird that enjoys eating pre-chewed food? No.

Resolution: Ever heard of an etiquette class? Sign ‘em up! And if that doesn’t work, getting a table for 6 when it’s just the two of you and sitting at the other end should send the message loud and clear.

The Less-Than Stellar Roommate. They sound like a wildebeest when they snore, leave sandwiches with living things starting to grow on them under the couch, and make you listen to lovely animal-like grunts coming through the walls (or better yet, across the room in a dorm) when you’re trying to get a good night’s sleep.

Resolution: Two words: Air horn. And I would also highly suggest purchasing ear plugs unless you feel like learning to enjoy noises straight out of the Discovery Channel.

The Attention Whore. Do you know someone that constantly needs all eyes on them 24/7 and expects everyone to drop what they’re doing and focus on them and only them the second they enter a room?  We all do.  Sadly, some people need a wake-up call to realize the world doesn’t always revolve around them.

Resolution: Don’t acknowledge them every second that they expect you to.  After awhile of this, they might have a revelation and suddenly discover that other people in the room may have things to say too! Crazy, I know.

The Creeper. Sometimes it’s hard to resist the urge to stare at people (especially if it’s a cute boy) while you’re hanging out at the mall, or anywhere for that matter. I have to admit, I’m an avid people-watcher myself, but sometimes it gets a little creepy.  Especially if there’s an old man sitting across from you that wouldn’t turn his head away if his life depended on it.

Resolution: Stare back! With big eyes. If he likes it, run away.

The Gossip Girl. She spreads rumors and tells secrets she’s supposed to keep to herself.  There’s nothing more annoying then someone who thrives on causing drama and on top of that, loves every second of making other people’s lives miserable in the process.

Resolution: Give her a taste of her own medicine. I’m not saying go spread around that she’s pregnant with a criminal’s child…but you catch my drift.

The Borrower. One of the best parts about having friends is being able to borrow cute clothes from them.  When someone borrows something, it’s expected that it’ll get returned, but there are always those people who keep “forgetting” that they have something of yours and only give it back when you go fetch it yourself.  And you usually have to rip it out of their dead, lifeless grip.

Resolution: “Borrow” their stuff….and accidentally spill red wine on it. Woops!

The New Year should be full of lots of surprises and lots of fun people.  What are some other annoying people that need a kick in the butt for 2011?

Years before girls were swooning over Twilight and seriously debating werewolves vs. vampires, this mentally unstable psycho delightful and charming young woman was living as a real-life vampire. Like “cut her friends with a razor blade and suck their blood” vampire.

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Customer and cashier, at a cash register.)

Cashier: That doesn’t even look like your signature.

Customer: I know. It looks like Chinese or something.

Cashier: Yeah, I think it looks like if somebody had a stroke.

Customer: Yeah I was going to say that, but I thought that would be inappropriate.

(Guy and girl in tour group, walking through campus.)

Guy: Flying’s weird. Turbulence feels like you’re … hitting a ton of small animals, or something.

Girl: Ohh-kay. Don’t know you well enough for that kind of humor yet.

(Girl, buying food at a Subway.)

Girl: Can I have a footlong meatball sub on … the fattening bread?

(Guy, leaving some girls at a bar.)

Guy: Call me! We’ll do something!

Girl: Yeah, sure!

(Guy leaves.)

Girl: Yeah, nobody likes him. He’s awkward and old and he has a really creepy family.

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: So I woke up on the porch this morning. Yup, right next to the grill and the beer. Yup, it was awesome.

(Mom, with family, in a sports bar.)

Mom: So wait, there are only two halves?

Daughter: Yeah, two halves.

Mom: I don’t get it. Why two?

Daughter: Well … like, there aren’t four, ’cause that’d be quarters.

Mom: I don’t understand.

(Guy, girl, talking in an office.)

Guy: So you wouldn’t go back in time and kill Hitler?

Girl: I don’t think I would, no.

Guy: Geez, I mean … maybe you look kind of Aryan …

Girl: I’m Jewish.

(Two guys, talking in a dorm room doorway.)

Guy 1: Dude, you’re drinking and you’re still not done with that assignment?

Guy 2: No, it’s done. I did it all in this special ink that only appears when you spill beer on it.

(Guy, ordering from Starbucks.)

Guy: Hi, can I get a venti Italian?

Barista: A … sorry, what?

Guy: Italian roast? Venti Italian roast.

Barista: Oh, oh. Coffee.

(Two guys, talking during a plane trip.)

Guy 1: You’re a priest. You think America needs a miracle right now?

Guy 2: Don’t know about America, but I need a hamburger right now.

While I’m happy I was never a member of such a shallow and douchey organization (mostly because I would have been one of the many kicked off, thanks to my love of anything frosted), this move to improve the service for members got me thinking about my own online dating experiences.

I’ve been a member of an online dating site for a year now. I have yet to find the love of my life, but I have had a few good dates… and way too many creepy interactions to count. Seriously, these sites will let anyone with a computer and $29.99 a month to join. And I mean anyone. I’d like to believe that there is someone out there for me and that taking my dating online will increase my chances of finding him, but it’s nearly impossible to stay optimistic when this guy is sending me messages daily.

So maybe BeautifulPeople.com took things a tad too far (What – only thin people can be considered beautiful??), but as long as we’re on the subject, I’ve got a few online daters of my own that should get the boot. You listening, JDate?

1. The Creepy Guys: Including (but not limited to): 55-year-old men who hit on 21-year-old girls; anyone who refers to me as “baby,” “sexy,” or “hottie” in an email; guys who send photos of their genitalia (TRUE STORY); and guys who email asking for photos of my genitalia.

2. Only-One-Pic Guy: There are two types of guys I’ll never trust: those without Facebook profiles and those with only one picture posted to their online dating profiles. Whatcha hiding, man?

3. “Sexy” Shirtless Guy: If there’s one thing worse than a guy with no pics, it’s the guy who whips out his iPhone in the bathroom and does “sexy” shirtless poses in front of the mirror. I’m looking for love here, dude, not a guy who loves his (hairy) self.

4. Foreigners: I’ve got nothing against foreign men – how can you not love a sexy accent – but I just do not understand the weirdo guys from Russia, Japan and other non-English speaking countries who email me in their native tongue. How did you find me? Why are you flirting with a girl on the other side of the world who has no idea what you’re saying? Is it considered sexy in your country for men to wear really tight pants, unbutton the top 5 buttons on their shirt and show off gaudy gold chains?

5. Looking for a Booty Call Guy: There are far cheaper and easier ways to get in a girl’s pants than a monthly membership to this site, sir. Have you ever tried a bar? And if you’re just looking for a little cyber sex, there’s an AOL chatroom with your name (or “Sexy Singles Looking To Mingle 48) on it.

Before this, we thought Easter was all about egg hunts, candy and going to church just to make your mom happy. But for these (probably mentally unstable) dudes, it means dressing up in creepy bunny costumes and freaking us out. Seriously, ladies, if any of these dudes offer you candy, don’t even think about eating it.

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