Girls Next Door‘s leading ladies, Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison, and Bridget Marquardt are slowly trickling off the bunny ranch. To Hef’s dismay, his girls are looking for bigger and better (and dare we say younger?) things in life. So let’s re-cap:

First, Holly, Hef’s main squeeze, discovered about six months ago that her little Puffin had no intention of getting married OR having children. (But let’s be real, Holly. I know you love him and all, but the man is 82. Did you really think he’d want to go down that road at this age…again? Regardless, we love you for trying.) After discovering the chances of becoming the next Mrs. Hef were slim, fat, and none, Madison got pretty depressed and announced her split from Hefner. Since then, it’s been confrimed Holly’s dating mindfreak, Criss Angel.

Around the same time, Kendra also announced she would be moving out of the mansion. Rumors had started to spread she was seeing someone else and the latest news is that Kendra is actually engaged to Philadelphia Eagels widereciever, Hank Baskett. OF COURSE she’s engaged to a football player. The 23-year-old self-proclaimed tomboy and sports junkie, Wilkinson never seemed that into Hef anyway…

And that brings us to the lone ranger of the Girl’s Next Door… While 35-year-old Bridget hasn’t announced any type of seperation from the Playboy founder, she’s been quoted saying she doesn’t know how much longer she’ll be a girlfriend. Bridge has been filming a show for the Travel Channel called “Bridget’s Beaches” during the past few months, missing all the break-up drama. She made her first public appearence since the splits at the annual Halloween bash at the Mansion.

Hef’s already replaced his lost loves. He has asked Playboy’s newest twin Playmates Karissa and Kristina Shannon to move into the mansion, though they aren’t his girlfriends…yet.

But no worries, Girls Next Door is still scheduled for a sixth season.

…wonder how that’s gonna work?

One is an old dude with an obsession with ditzy blondes. The other is a weird guy with an obsession with jewelry…and making things disappear.

And it seems the world has brought these drastically different men together…to battle.

For a woman, obvi.

Though Hugh Hefner has 3 live-in girlfriends and a billion other hot ladies roaming around his house, he has recently been heartbroken as one of his favorites moved out.

Where did she go? Into the tattooed arms of Criss Angel. Poor Hef has never been snubbed like this; especially for a nobody like Criss Angel. I feel bad for the poor old guy and have to wonder what it is about Mr. Angel that wooed little Holly away.

Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe Criss has a killer personality and is awesome in bed. Maybe Holly was sick of waiting for Hef’s Viagra to kick in. Who knows?

I just want to know which dude you’d prefer: reliable old Hef, or mysterious Criss Angel?

It’s Britney, y’all!

Like her new sound, the first words off of Britney Spears’s fresh single are a little hardcore. Following Timberlake and Furtado, Spears is leaving her candy pop behind and getting down and dirty with hard beats and a sexually tinged chorus.

Then again, when was our girl ever NOT tinged with sexuality?

The single, released late on Thursday night, isn’t the best thing I’ve ever heard, but it certainly doesn’t suck, and seems twice as amazing considering that as of late, Ms. Spears has appeared absolutely bat sh*t crazy.

Even though there are no real lyrics to speak of, and it sounds a bit like the poor man’s Timbaland, if it came on at a club, I’d dance to it. And really, what else can you ask for when it comes to Britney Spears?

…Just be glad it isn’t two minutes of her children screaming in the background while she burps the ABC’s and says ya’ll over and over.