[I want it, I need it, I can’t live without it. There are so many things on store shelves and racks right now that we want to take home and hang in our closets. Things that are so cute, everyone should know about them. We’ll share ‘em with you here (because we’re that nice), but as far as actually getting them goes….well, you’re on your own with that one.]

I’ve never paid much attention to the Tory Burch brand. Seeing every girl and her mother walking around in those flats with the instantly recognizable golden medallion was quite enough. However, I recently stumbled upon these gladiators, and I have to say that they’re one of the nicest pairs I’ve seen.

I need em, I need em, I need em!

The Stanton sandal is made of leather and comes in black or tan. There are three square buckles: one each at the ankle, arch, and toe. The sandal appears more elegant than some other gladiators, which can have so many straps or buckles covering your feet that you might as well wear sneakers. What also makes this design a bit different is that the straps do not simply run parallel to one another. I like how two straps form an X across the top with two straps running along the sides, making it incredibly flattering on any ankle.

What I don’t love, however, is the $265 pricetag. I’d have to work long and hard (and turn up the charm for some major tips) to add these to my collection. A girl can dream, though.

I’m Jewish. I grew up in a Jewish town, went to a Jewish private school and then ended up at University of Michigan… in a Jewish sorority.

Needless to say, I have been surrounded by Jewish people for most of my life. And totally sheltered from many other cultures and traditions.Don’t get me wrong – I know and am very close with many non-Jewish people, but none that are particularly observant or religious.

Why do I tell you all of this? To give you a little background leading up to one very awkward moment.

Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday/Ash Wednesday always fall right around midterms. As much as I’d love to partake in all the festivities, I barely have enough time to check the date let alone indulge in donuts and Hurricanes. Last year I was particularly stressed out over a giant presentation that I needed to give. The thing was massive, required visual aids and counted for 50% of my grade!

While my friends were out flashing guys for beads on Tuesday night, I was slaving over Power Point and Excel spreadsheets. I stayed up all night chugging coffee, eating candy and pulling random sh*t out of my ass just to fill up the 10 page paper that was to accompany my presentation.

I finally finished at 9am and ran to the nearest Kinkos to get everything printed and looking pretty.

When I approached the desk to get some help, I noticed the cashier had some ink on her forehead. Being that I was in a printing shop I figured she had just changed the ink in one of the copy machines and got a little on her. I wanted to tell her, but I also wanted to keel over and die from exhaustion, so I figured I’d let someone else do it.

I went about my business of printing and gluing, keeping an eye out for the ink lady. More people came into the store and spoke to her and no one told her how ridiculous she looked! I was appalled. That time I had spinach in my front teeth for hours and no one told me was embarassing; I’d want to know!

When I finally finished my work – and the lady still had the smudge on her forehead – I decided it was time to say something. I went up to the woman, leaned in and said, “No one else has the balls to tell you, but you have a little ink on your forehead that you may want to wipe off.”

She gave me the stink-eye.

“Thank you, but I know there is something on my forehead. It’s Ash Wednesday.”

Everyone in the store turned to look at me in disgust.

I grabbed my project, paid my bill and ran out.

So, this is my reminder to you: today is Ash Wednesday. Keep that in mind as you go about your business.

No, but really, this happened. Apparently, a science teacher in Ohio had a high frequency generator, which he used to burn the image of a cross into the arms of several students.

The article (and the other articles I’ve read on the topic) goes on to say that this teacher failed to comply with various separation of church and state things; for instance, he taught creationism, and according to another article, he displayed the Ten Commandments and gave out free bibles.

And all that sucks and is ridiculous, but, um, more importantly, HE BURNED HIS STUDENTS! Is anyone else finding that very odd? The article says the burn mark (which happened to be a cross, but, frankly, I don’t even know if that matters) lasted for three to four weeks. That’s some burn, man. Shouldn’t this man be booked for assault?

Which is not to say the violation of separation of church and state isn’t totally creepy. I have a lesser story of my own in that vein:

When I was a senior in my Long Island, New York public school (which is to say, at least relatively liberal), I had an overbearingly religious AP English teacher. One day, he told us that we all had to read the New Testament to understand anything. This turned into a huge debate that I, as the only Jew in the room (and one of maybe 6 in the school) decided to actively stay out of, although many of my classmates kept trying to drag me in. One of my friends was so upset that she stormed out to the Vice Principal’s office. Next thing I know, I’m getting called to his office and he says he heard about the problem and was I, as a Jew, offended?

I’ll tell you what I was offended by: being singled out as the minority. That incident has stuck in my mind all these years as a reminder that the majority is always secretly aware of those not within its ranks and that, ultimately, the US is a Christian nation. Which is fine. But it really should not be made apparent in public schools. It was an unfortunate incident.

But, um, yeah. No one was burned.

Someone arrest this jerk and keep him from burning any more of his students.

[Image courtesy of CNN]