It’s late at night and you’ve just had sex. Assuming you’re not about to bolt from the room (or kick your partner to the curb) you’ve reached a cross road. Do I cuddle or do I roll over and go to sleep? Both have their own implications. Cuddling allows you to continue to stay close to your partner, but well, sometimes you just want to pass out.

Evolutionary psychologists from University of Michigan and Pennsylvania’s Albright College decided it was about time someone looked into post-coital behaviour. Apparently all scientific research has been focused on what happens before you get it on. A total of 456 people participated in an online survey assessing “experiences and desires with one’s partner after sex.” The questions were related to who falls asleep after sex and who falls asleep first.

Though there was no evidence that men simply roll over and fall asleep first, it is suggested that when a couple does not have sex, the woman is more apt to fall asleep first. Susan Hughes, one of the study’s co-authors, suggested that men stay awake longer either to convince their partner to have sex, or as part of an ancient practice of protecting their woman. Read More »

You know what? For once I don’t have anything negative to say. Halle-freaking-lujah! Cuddles are are fantastic. Hugs are amazing. Salacious cuddles? Yes, please. Friendly hugs? Hell yes! Comforting cuddles? Great! Free hugs because I’m a ginger? Always welcome. I am a huge fan of cuddling, and I’ve been fortunate enough to not yet meet a man who ain’t one, too. In my experience, boys love cuddling and aren’t afraid to admit it.

I’ve also found that hugs are a pretty non-contentious issue. Thank heavens! Although most matters of intimacy are fraught with politics, I find hugging to be a refreshingly simple act that rarely leaves any party dissatisfied. See someone who needs a hug? Offer one up. Need a hug yourself? Go hug someone – anyone! It’s as simple as that.

Oh alright, there are a couple of rules to hugging – let’s explore: Read More »

I’m a resolution maker. I think January 1 is a great time to stop, think about the things you want to do better for yourself, and start the improvement process. And while I’ve set a few for myself this year (thanks to that post-holiday trip to the scale), what I’m most excited for are the resolutions I’ve set for my relationship.

Matt and I have made it through our first whole calendar year together and we have a lot to look back on and think about. Seeing where we went wrong and discussing what we can do to make it better in the new year can help our relationship (pssst. this can help yours, too!) become strong and help us become more aware of each other. Now that we both know each other better than anyone else in this world, we should have a better sense of what we should and can do to make our relationship even better.

So here are just a few little things I will be working on in my relationship in 2010. No relationship is perfect – perhaps a few of these will help you and yours. Read More »

Ok, so maybe it doesn’t snow here in Texas, but it’s finally gotten to the point where I have to turn the heater on in my apartment! And while I’m really not a fan of snotsicles, I am a huge fan of staying indoors in the winter-time and cuddling up with the boyfriend.

There are so many fun couple-activities to do when the cold sets in, besides the obvious sexy time. I mean, that’s always fun but who wants to get naked when its ch-ch-chilly out?

Here are some other great ideas to stay warm with your sweetie.

1. Make hot chocolate together – I’m not talking about the “microwave the water then empty a packet into the mug” hot chocolate. Spend some time together in the kitchen and make true homemade hot chocolate. It’s a great way to bond and you’ll have a delicious treat when you’re done! Or if you’re not into hot drinks, bake some Christmas cookies or something. Pretty much anything that uses the oven/stove will work to get nice and warm.

2. Pick a Fight – There’s nothing wrong with a little play fighting every now and then, especially because it will warm you up… and it involves a lot of touching. For those of you who DO want sexy time in the middle of winter, you can spice things up by initiating a little couch-to-bed wrestling match. Read More »

I want that. Sigh.

With the exception of a short love affair that ended via email (which the boy addressed to Natalie), I’ve been single for a long three years. And I’ve been totally OK with that for the most part. I’ve really gotten to figure myself out; my good qualities (I’m incredibly generous to those I love) and my not-so-good qualities (I’m what some people might refer to as a judgmental bitch).

While finding a boyfriend has always been on my “things that would be nice” list (along with winning the lottery and looking like Rachel Bilson), it was never something that I was actively seeking. I don’t mind spending time by myself. I don’t mind making independent decisions. I don’t mind doing everything I want, including watching The Hills in my underwear while eating a bowl of Kashi Go Lean Crunch.

But last night, as I was doing just that, something happened. When Justin Bobby handed Kristin his rocker leather coat and snuggled up to her as they watched the sunset I actually started crying. Yes, crying. Over an annoying fake couple on a bullsh*t show.

“I want that,” I thought to myself, as I used my sleeve to wipe snot from my upper lip.

My reaction surprised me. I had no idea how badly I wanted a boyfriend, but the tears-turned-deep-sobbing were telling another story. And then I realized that there were many other aspects of my life that were equally as telling.

Yeah, after taking a deeper look, I’ve realized that I am most definitely ready for a boyfriend. And by “ready,” I mean, “I’m sick of watching Sunday night TV alone and I need someone to play with my hair while I lay on their lap…now.”

Not sure if you’re ready? Here are a few tell-tale signs your jonesing for a BF: Read More »

Victoria Beckham may be Idol’s newest judge.

Steven Tyler’s moves aren’t what they used to be.

Are guys OK with just cuddling?

Penelope Cruz is gonna have one beautiful baby.

The 13 sexiest movie scenes ever.

Drink to a better complexion?

It was one of the many nights when I should have stayed in and done homework, but decided/was forced to go out with my roommates for a night of belligerence. Standard.

I’d been seeing this guy and I was starting to get over it, but I still wanted him to go out with us anyway. I mean, I needed someone to flirt with/take home at the of the night and he was an easy kill. The night progressed as our nights out tended to: shots, pitchers, mixed drinks, and dancing…lots and lots of dancing. The kind of dancing that you’d rather do naked. And the kind of dancing that inevitably ends to doin’ it naked.

We stumbled our way home and after some drunken snacking on chips, cheddar goldfish crackers, and some random mac and cheese, lovaboy decided to start hinting that he was ready for “bed.”  Since my roommate was fast asleep (Read: completely passed out in a drunken stupor), we decided to do it in the bathroom. Yes, we were a considerate pair; we wouldn’t want her waking up and seeing some naked booty 6 feet away. Read More »

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some sexy time, especially early in the morning. But as much as I love to kickstart my day with a roll in the sack, there is nothing I heart more than a really good cuddle sesh. Totally girly, I know.

How can anyone not love it, though? Just laying around, feeling the adoration of your partner… It’s what sets the one night stand apart from the real I’m-totally-into-you relationship and, in my opinion, the most intimate act a couple can do.

Everyone knows that guys don’t feel the same way, though. If you’re not boinking, they want no part of it. But why is that? And how do we get our dudes to devote some quality time to being the big spoon? I asked and a dude answered. Here’s what he had to say: Read More »

After a recent production with a free love hippie who was supposedly sleeping sexily only in my bed, I have some questions.

This boy, god bless is heart, is an intimacy ninja. While he swears to every god under the sun, as well as the sun, that he has only been pairing his goodies with my goodies, he also has a couple of female friends with whom he cuddles. As in wraps his arms and legs around in a loving way.

And it is nothing more than a feel-good display of affection.

Upon announcing this to my girlfriends, the reactions varied, but all in the same direction:

“He CUDDLES with other girls? WHAAAAAAT?”

Upon announcing the news break to my male friends, the reactions were pretty humiliating:

“You’re an idiot, he is totally f*cking these girls.”

I’d reckon you might be feeling one of these two things right now, too. But let’s break it down. Read More »

So, you’re single.

Do you embrace it, or bemoan it? Is it exciting, or just exhausting? Are you here by choice, or because you just can’t seem to land a good partner?

Society would like us to think that there’s only two ways to feel about being single; awesome and shitty. Either you’re a flirt who has no intensions or settling down or a depressed cat lady lighting shrines to the dating gods.

But maybe you’re both. Maybe there are times—watching couples fight on the street, cuddling up in a freshly made bed, spending a day shopping—when you’re completely fine with and happy about being alone.

Other times—finding yourself without plans on the weekend, seeing couples kiss on the street, sitting alone in your living room on a rainy Sunday—being single sucks the big one. Read More »