It’s clear that there’s a lot to worry about when you meet up with somebody for the first time, so try to cross at least one thing off of the Worry List by having a low-stress meal. These five things are not the way to go for first date fare:

1. Mexican.

Refried beans are soooo delicious, yes, but the effects are musical, and you really don’t want that to happen at an inopportune time.

2. Sandwiches/burgers more than three inches thick.

Honestly, these are the most annoying things ever, and they will embarrass you when you least expect it. When you finally maneuver the thing so that it’s possible to put it in your mouth, everything inside it will inevitably spill out onto either your hands or your lap. (Editor’s Note: Sounds familiar to the bedroom festivities later. Ayoooo!) You can’t eat them with a knife and fork, either, for fear of looking like an extreme neatnik.

3. Really spicy food.

If you eat spicy things regularly, that’s cool, but make sure that your date does, too. If you don’t make a habit of chowing down on chilis, the first date is not the time to start. Eating the food might be an adventure, but you run the risk of ending up in a physically uncomfortable spot before the end of the night.

4. Hole in the walls that actually look like hole in the walls.

I’m all for trying new restaurants, especially if they come with positive reviews or recommendations. But for first dates, avoid places you’ve never heard of if they look a little shady. Your stomach might tell you it’s a great idea to load up at that dingy all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, but you’re probably going to pay the price later.

5. Barbecues.

With undercooked meat, lukewarm potato salad, and fly-infested watermelon, the potential for food poisoning here is just way too high.

What would YOU never eat or order on a first date?

[Image courtesy of newpersuasion.typepad.com.]

I say most anything because this I will not try.

We all know that China partakes in some odd cuisine, but a restaurant that specializes in PENISES? And TESTICLES?

At China’s only specialty penis emporium, located in Bejiing, you can try the penis and testicles of a Russian dog, donkey penis (good for the skin), reindeer and snake. Apparently, snakes have two penises each. More for the eating, I suppose??

Nancy, the “nutritionist” as she calls herself, served BBC food writer Andrew Harding an array of penises and testicles. She also gave him a deer blood and vodka cocktail to wash it all down.

The restaurant serves a “penis hotpot,” similar to fondue but will prepare the food anyway the customer desires. Some like it raw. And that’s what they get.

Pickled, fried or raw. You can have perineum, testes, penis and aborted fetuses.

Yes, an aborted fetus. Apparently that too is good for the skin.

Besides the fact that this is obviously disgusting, are we as American’s shutting ourselves down to the traditions of the Native Americans (and now, the Chinese) that every part of an animal should be used or eaten.

We eat the good parts, flank steaks and chicken breasts, so I guess why not dicks and balls and blood too?

As a society, we do crazy things in the name of health and beauty. Even Tommy Hilfiger’s face cream boasts the use of baby foreskins.

It makes me think that eating the c*cks and balls of animals may not be too far from what we are already doing.

But ladies, beware, we are not to eat testicles. Just in case you wanted to give it a try.