If you planned on starting a diet today, don’t. Or at least don’t read any further. That salad with the “but it tastes just like the real thing” low-fat dressing and droopy lettuce is going to seem about ten times less appetizing than it did when you were looking at pictures of Kate Middleton, thinking to yourself I wish I was that skinny. Embrace a little sugar in your day. Load up on some visual carbs.

Feast your eyes, baby! Right now, we’re bringing you the anti-healthy lunch.

initiating the gallery...

Though we’ve certainly celebrated our fair share of cupcake recipes here on Intro to Cooking, I hope the foodies out there can forgive me for serving up another cupcake creation. Hell, you should, because these babies combine the two most important culinary elements of college in one mind-blowing, gut-busting dessert:

BEER. CUPCAKES.

Did I know you could make cupcakes from beer? Would I have without-a-doubt gained the Freshman 500 had I known about this back then? I mean, is the freakin’ pope Catholic?

To be fair, the baking process will dilute the alcohol, so you won’t be able to get drunk off of these babies, but there are many health benefits to beer so these are basically like eating a vegetable.

Please consult the following recipe by Big City Little Kitchen, who recommends adding more Guinness to the icing for an extra kick, for the ultimate collegiate culinary bliss.

Ingredients

1 cup Guinness
1 stick, plus 1 tb, unsalted butter
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
2 cups dark brown sugar
3/4 cup sour cream
2 eggs
1 tbs vanilla extract
2 cups flour
2 1/2 tsp baking soda
8 oz cream cheese
1 1/4 cups confectioners’ sugar
1/3 cup milk

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350.

2. Combine the Guinness and the butter, chopped into 1-inch chunks, in a large sauce pan, and heat to melt the butter. Remove from heat, and whisk in the cocoa and sugar.

3. In a bowl, whisk the sour cream, eggs and vanilla, then add to the beer mixture. Then mix in the flour and baking soda.

4. Place cupcake liners into a cupcake tray and pour mixture into molds. Bake for 25 minutes, or until inserted cake tester comes out clean. Let stand 10 minutes, remove from tray, and let cool.

5. Using a mixer, whip cream cheese until smooth, sift in sugar, and beat. Add milk, and beat until smooth. Spread glaze over cooled cupcakes.

6. Indulge. Then indulge in another one. With a nice, cold Guinness. Then maybe share the rest.

Summer is winding down, school is starting up, alumni are still doing the same-sh*t-different-day dance. In summary, the end of August kind of blows. Which is why this week’s Intro to Cooking is throwing nutrition to the wind (sort of), because it’s time for something indulgent!

The Ingredient: Dark Chocolate

In truth, dark chocolate IS good for you. In small servings, it can lower blood pressure, due to its richness in antioxidants. Why the dark stuff, over its milk- and white-chocolate sisters? Researchers think that the milk found in the latter two varieties may temper with the body’s absorption of the healthful nutrients found in pure chocolate.

Easy recipes (do you really need an excuse?)

* Pair a few pieces with a glass of red wine (more antioxidants!) for a refined evening snack.
* Mix 2 tablespoons agave nectar with 1 tablespoon dark cocoa powder for a healthier alternative to chocolate dip, and serve over pieces of apples, raspberries, and bananas.
* Toss some dark chocolate pieces in a baggie with almonds, goji berries, walnuts, and peanuts for an upscale, super-tasty trail mix for those really hectic days.

The Recipe: Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cupcakes
Whoever discovered the combination of chocolate and peanut butter should be given the Nobel Prize, for their contribution to countless moments of decadent dessert bliss. So if you want a cupcake that is truly a religious experience (seriously, just look at that photo), pull out this recipe from Food & Wine, and you’ll be praying to the chocolate gods in no time.

Ingredients
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cocoa powder (not Dutch process)
1/2 cup boiling water
1 cup buttermilk
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks plus 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup creamy peanut butter
2/3 cup confectioners’ sugar
1 cup heavy cream
8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 350° and position 2 racks in the lower and middle third of the oven. Line 24 muffin cups with paper or foil liners.

2. Put the cocoa powder in a medium heatproof bowl. Add the boiling water and whisk until a smooth paste forms. Whisk in the buttermilk until combined. In a medium bowl, sift the flour with the baking soda, baking powder and salt. In a large bowl, beat 1 1/2 sticks of the butter with the granulated sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

3. Beat in the eggs and vanilla, then beat in the dry ingredients in 2 batches, alternating with the cocoa mixture. Carefully spoon the cupcake batter into the lined muffin cups, filling them about two-thirds full. Bake for 20 to 22 minutes, or until the cupcakes are springy. Let the cupcakes cool in the pans for 5 minutes, then transfer them to wire racks to cool completely.

4. In a medium bowl, beat the peanut butter with the remaining 3 tablespoons of butter until creamy. Sift the confectioners’ sugar into the bowl and beat until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Spoon all but 3 tablespoons of the peanut butter filling into a pastry bag (or a plastic baggie with a small hole cut in the corner). Holding a cupcake in your hand, plunge the tip into the top of the cake, pushing it about 3/4 inch deep. Gently squeeze the pastry bag to fill the cupcake, withdrawing it slowly as you squeeze; you will feel the cupcake expand slightly as you fill it. Scrape any filling from the top of the cupcake and repeat until all of the cupcakes are filled.

5. In a small saucepan, bring the heavy cream to a simmer. Off the heat, add the semisweet chocolate to the cream and let stand for 5 minutes, then whisk the melted chocolate into the cream until smooth. Let the chocolate icing stand until slightly cooled and thickened, about 15 minutes. Dip the tops of the cupcakes into the icing, letting the excess drip back into the pan. Transfer the cupcakes to racks and let stand for 5 minutes. Dip the tops of the cupcakes again and transfer them to racks.

…. Until now.
I’ll never look at sprinkles and coconut the same way again.

Somehow I think Chinese delivery was a contributing factor here.

This week I’ve been inspired by ThisIsWhyYou’reFat.com… or my own personal struggle with winter weight. Between the Christmas cookies, Starbucks peppermint mochas and, oh yeah, lifting my drinking ban, these have all caused me to pack on the weight over the past three months. I could not be more annoyed with the term “winter weight,” or having to rationalize that I’m not getting fat, just fluffy.

Which is why the only thing I’m asking Santa for this year is a gym membership.

Here are some of the things that might be unfavorably tipping the scales, particularly in this binge-y time of the year.

10. Brunch
My favorite unnecessary meal of the day. At which almost all items on the menu are dripping with syrup. Not good.

9. Driving
Not exactly caloric, but how many times do you hop in the driver’s seat to a destination that’s walking distance? Or for that matter, pile into a cab when you’re only heading ten blocks away. Bad for the bod and the environment.

8. Late night snacking
Those munchies add up, and if you believe the hype, eating after 8 PM is one of the worst things you can do to your body.

7. Delivery
Not even bothering to get off the couch to get greasy food into your mouth? Pad thai, Domino’s, greasy Chinese food, it doesn’t matter. Homemade food is always healthier, and the stroll around the grocery store will do your body some sort of good. Well, at least more good than keeping the door unlocked and having that poor little delivery dude drop the food at your feet.

6. Guacamole
WHAT THE EFF? Why does this delicious topping have so many calories? Considering it’s made out of a vegetable? Really disappointing.

5. Christmas candy. And cookies. And eggnog. And giant turkey dinners.
Okay, I’ll let this one slide on December 25th, but no holding onto those Christmas candies past January 1st!

4. Lack of sleep
Cramming for finals, partying hard and cramming some more does not make for a healthy sleep cycle. Turns out, losing out on the Z’s can get you packing on the lbs. “Professor, I’m sorry I slept through your 8 AM, I’m just watching my figure right now. I know you’ll understand,” might not work as an excuse, but try and crawl under the covers a few minutes earlier than usual.

3. Boyfriend or Breaking Up
It’s different for everyone and it’s a lose-lose (or I guess a gain-gain). Some people, like me, get super-comfy with their beau and start packing on the pounds when they’re in a relationship. On the flip side, being single can get you dating your fridge. Sigh.

2. Cupcakes
My favorite food and the world’s hottest dessert fixation right now. Red velvet cupcake does not make a good dinner. No, skim milk pairing doesn’t make it any better. Especially difficult when paired with #1 at the hottest new spot in the West Village, Sweet Revenge. Check it out before you have to make your New Year’s Resolution.

1. Drinking
This one is a killer considering tis the season to get wasted on Schnapp’s in order to tolerate your relatives. And then there’s an entire apple pie calling your name. Maybe it’s time to go back to sobriety. Spring break is just around the corner. Woof.

The good news: Someone might surprise you by presenting you with a tray of cupcakes today!

The unsettling news: That person might be a part of the “Cupcakes for Life” movement, a group of pro-lifers dedicated to making people feel uncomfortable via free baked goods.

The Cupcakes for Life crew asks supporters to bring cupcakes to a group of people, prompting those people to ask, “Who’s birthday is it?” [sic—guess they were too busy baking to learn grammar.] The supporters are then supposed to answer by saying, “Its no ones birthday. [still sic. Improper apostrophe use reeeaaally irritates me, okay?] These cupcakes represent the 50,000,000 children who weren’t allowed to be born, who never had a birthday … If you and I were aborted we wouldn’t have a birthday party either.”

Um… awkward.

I have no problem with people choosing to be anti-abortion—after all, that’s why I’m pro-choice—but this entire movement is just bizarre. They recommend that mothers bake cupcakes that say “I Heart Babies” on them and bring them to their child’s homeroom, then “tell all of his or her friends about how babies need lots of love as they slowly grow inside their mommies.” Alternatively, mothers can “invite some teenage girls over to bake the cupcakes,” then “challenge them to make cupcakes that represent how they feel about the unborn.” They ask high schoolers to “hand the cupcakes out with plastic baby fetus’s.” That’s right: plastic baby fetuses. Where do you even get those? Creepy Toys’r’Us?

I’d be inclined to take this entire thing as a giant joke… but apparently there was a National Pro-Life Cupcakes Day last year, which implies that these guys are for real. They’re like that one obnoxious vegan you know who won’t stop yakking about slaughterhouses any time the people around her eat a burger, but magnified by a factor of ten thousand awkward silences. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, but as soon as you start forcefully pushing that opinion down other people’s throats in the form of a delicious, sugary treat, you’ve gone way too far.

If a proselytizing pro-lifer presented me with a cupcake and a lecture today, I might just smash that cupcake into his or her face. Luckily for that hypothetical pro-lifer, Cupcakes for Life has some tips for how to deal with disgusted liberals like me: “Wipe the cake off your face and share the rest of them with someone less angry inside. Go with courage and go with love, the unborn need you to be their voice.”

Ugh. I’m sticking with candy today.

I will not apologize for my beauty sleep. I will not!

This week, in light of the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. I’m not Jewish, but the fact that my 21st birthday falls on the day of repenting has caused me to think about the fact that I’m doing the exact opposite: indulging and sinning.

I’m so not chosen for a reason.

Last week the CollegeCandy writers shared the things they want to ask forgiveness for. I’ve decided to take a different route and reflect on the things I’ve done wrong and have no desire to repent for. I’ve got enough Catholic guilt as it is.

10. Borrowing my sister’s clothes without asking.
Sorry Meredith, I just had to have that black shirt. You never wear it!

9. Indulging in cupcakes. At any hour of the day.
8 AM. Magnolia Bakery. Totally appropriate and healthy.

8. Exceeding my budget (by a lot a lot) for the sale at Saks.
It’s not like I need groceries.

7. Skipping class to sleep.
Not going to feel guilty for those extra z’s over watching a video on gender roles in advertising. Barbie, bad. I get it. I can find it on YouTube, right?

6. Lying about having a boyfriend to get out of a date.
Yeah, sorry I have this super protective boyfriend that won’t let me even text other boys.

5. Staying out til 3 AM. On a weekday.
Tuesdays are the new Fridays.

4. Using that emergency credit card for a Pad Thai emergency.
“Dad, I’m sorry, I needed it! I promise I won’t do it again, or at least I won’t until next weekend.”

3. Shamelessly Facebook-stalking.
Just making sure you still have more chins than quality personality traits.

2. Making out with my ex-fling.
If it happened in a different state, than it doesn’t count. Ah, who cares? Totally. Worth. It.

1. Telling friends I’m sick and can’t go out. In order to stay in and watch movies with my real best friend: peanut butter M&Ms.
Okay, maybe saying I’m “swining out” was a little overboard.

I have a confession to make: I’m a little bit of a cupcake ho. How can you resist those cute, mini cakes? A portable slice of heaven? The perfect frosting to cake ratio? Recipes that make a dozen so you don’t have to stop after one?

How could you not fall truly, madly, deeply in love?

Unfortunately, being that I’ve been around the cupcake block a few times, I’ve become a bit of a cupcake snob and find myself snubbing the dry and uncreative store-bought variety.

Lucky for me (and you!), I found a simple and yummy cupcake recipe via Appoggiatura.

Ingredients:
For the cupcakes
3/4 C butter (1 1/2 sticks)
1 1/2 C sugar
2 eggs
2 1/2 C flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 C milk
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp lemon extract

For the frosting
1/2 C butter (1 stick)
8 oz cream cheese (1 block)
3 C confectioner’s sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350º.

2. Bring the butter and the eggs to room temperature before mixing.

3. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar together using a hand mixer. Mix in the eggs one at a time. Then, stir in all of the dry ingredients until just combined. Slowly pour in the milk and the extracts while beating constantly. (Editor’s Note: this sounds a little naughty, no?)

4. Line two muffin tins with cupcake papers. Fill 2/3 of each space with batter.

5. Bake for 20-30 minutes, until the cupcakes are lightly golden on top and a toothpick inserted in the center of one comes out clean. Remove the cupcakes from the tins to racks to cool. Let the cupcakes cool completely before frosting.

6. While the cupcakes cool, make the frosting. Using a hand mixer, cream together the sugar, the cream cheese, the confectioner’s sugar, and the vanilla extract. Add sugar to bring frosting to the appropriate consistency. If the frosting is too stiff, a splash of milk can be mixed in to thin it. (For best results, keep sticking your finger in there and tasting it. You want it to be perfect, right?)

7. To apply the frosting, use a decorator’s bag to pipe on the frosting. You can also just use a plastic baggy with the corner cut off, because you’re a college girl and don’t even have a spatula, let alone a decorator’s bag. Or, you could just mush that stuff on top with a knife. It will all taste the same.

Since these cupcakes use cream cheese frosting, keep them refrigerated until you serve them, then bring them up to room temperature before eating. Enjoy!

To celebrate my decision, I’m using this week’s DIY to share an incredible buttercream frosting recipe with all of you. You can use it to frost a cake, cupcakes, cookies . . . or to eat it straight out of the Tupperware with some pretzels when you’re dealing with a breakup. Stop buying this stuff and make it yourself.

Ingredients
(Makes enough buttercream for one standard-size cake with 12-16 servings)

1/2 cup vegetable shortening (such as Crisco)
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
4 cups confectioners’ sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 cup heavy cream

Buttercream it up:
Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and shortening together until creamy. Add the sugar and keep beating until the whole mess is pretty well blended. Then add the remaining ingredients, blending on low speed until moist. When combined, whip that mixer into high speed until the frosting is fluffy.

Want to know why this frosting rocks? Besides the fact that it tastes great, it’s sooo easy to customize it. You can dye it any color imaginable with food coloring and use it to decorate. Want mocha buttercream? Add instant espresso powder or a few tablespoons of coffee and about 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder or a few ounces of melted chocolate. Want an almond or orange or lemon flavor? Throw in almond extra, orange juice, or lemon zest.

Since the frosting is somewhat stiff, it’s also strong enough to hold up bits of fruit, nuts, or cake toppers. So you can stick a mini cookie on top of each cupcake or use big fresh strawberries to line the border of your cake, too. Could there be anything better?!

Before you dash off and make this, here’s a bonus decorating tip: those frosting tips they sell at the store are really nice, but if you’re pressed for time and don’t care too much about absolute beauty, pile your buttercream into a Ziploc bag and clip off the corner. You can then use the bag to pipe the frosting, just like a fancy Food Network star.

Enjoy!

I love baking, but I’m not the hugest fan of following directions. As a result, I often end up mis-measuring things or adding my own little touches to otherwise boring recipes. Hey, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Anywho, there is nothing that works better with my “add this, throw in that” cooking style than pancakes. Plain pancakes are good, but chocolate chip granola pancakes are fantastic. And pancakes that look like cupcakes? Could there be anything more amazing? I found this recipe on katin cooks and I can’t get enough. It’s simple and delicious, the perfect canvas for fun add-ins and has fool proof instructions that even I can follow. Plus, these little babies make great hangover food!

Ingredients:

2 cups Original Bisquick mix
1 cup milk
2 eggs
1/2 stick butter
12 tbsp filling: try Nutella, fruit jam, or cream cheese
Confectioners sugar for sprinkling
Maple syrup for serving

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Generously coat the bottom & sides of a 12-muffin tin with butter.

3. Make Bisquick pancakes per instructions on the box.

4. Fill each cup in the muffin tin half-way.

5. Add 1 tbsp of filling to the middle of each muffin, then cover with the remaining pancake mix.

6. Bake 20 minutes.

7. Remove from oven, place on serving dish & use a flour sifter to sprinkle with sugar.

8. Serve with warm syrup.

Are you drooling yet? Want to see more? Check this out!