Gym addicts, you’re not fooling anyone. We’re on to you. We know that you’re just trying to make us feel bad.

Like the size two girl in the office bringing in cupcakes, you want the slightly squishy members of society to drown in a pool of self-loathing while you gloat above the rest of us, spending two plus hours at the gym five days weekly and playing intramural athletics on the side. You want us to know that we’ve just failed the physical fitness test of life, and are not as good as you. As people. Our bodies are not as firm and toned, and therefore, you are better at life than any of us who would rather eat Cheetos and take a nap. Read More »

I don’t want to post another of those “F&%k Valentine’s Day” blogs, or the “Not to be all bitter, but F$%k Valentine’s Day” blogs. And yet here I am.

Here’s the thing about Valentine’s Day: It lasts for freaking ever. It’s all, “Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!” and, “How’s your Valentine’s Day going?” and then, “Can you believe there are only 364 days until Valentine’s Day rolls around again?” And the cycle continues.

And then there’s Valentine’s Day At Work. It’s the same for everyone. There’s always:

-The sad single girl who clearly spent all night making pink cupcakes for the staff which no one eats.

-The annoying work couple who crack little post-coital jokes February 15th that make you want to puke or get married over the Internet.

-The boss who schedules you to work until 11pm Valentine’s Day evening because she “assumed you would be free…”

How to tastefully deal with Valentine’s Day? It’s a toughie. Some people have those “Anti- Valentine’s Day” parties, but to work these either need to be flooded with movie stars or take place in the Village. Otherwise they can be reminiscent of those “Anti-Prom” parties you and your Literary Club friends had junior year of high school. Read More »

In junior high, I wanted pink hair. Actually, maybe wanted isn’t the right word. I was more or less obsessed with having pink hair, and basically anything pink in general.

However, my mother – who let me get my tongue pierced at 14 – thought that Bubblicious-colored locks were just too radical for my upper-middle class suburban town. So I reluctantly settled for a bright, Ronald McDonald shade of red and completely embarrassed myself for the rest of 8th grade.

But my obsession with pink hair – and every girl I ever encountered sporting it – never ended.

So when I stumbled upon this website, created by a tattooed beauty who at the time of my discovery donned the exact shade of pink hair I so longed for in my wannabe punk rocker days, I developed my first-ever girl crush. Not to mention the fact that I was insanely jealous of not only her looks, but her success.

Gala Darling, the writer and sole creator of iCiNG, deemed “a tattooed Miss Manners with pink hair” here and “a local yet globehopping fashion genius” here is exactly what I would be today….if my mother hadn’t crushed my poor little teenage heart almost 7 years ago.

Except Miss Darling is from New Zealand, is much more insightful, and probably has better hair than I could have ever dreamed of pulling off with some Manic Panic and my 8th grade friends’ “kewl hair skillz.” Read More »

So it’s Tuesday. I mean, what the hell is Tuesday? It’s better than Monday, obvs, but it’s certainly less fun than Thursday, and nowhere near the euphoria of Friday.

If you’re like me, and need a little something to get you through these looong, dreary January days, and that little something often means sugar of some kind, then by all means, keep reading.

Because I think I’ve just found the best sweetstuff recipe EVER.

No sh*t. It just doesn’t get any better than Frappucino flavored CUPCAKES (!!!)

Click here to go to my newest blog fave, and check out the amazing recipe

Halloween. A time for drinking, provocative costumes and YUMMY treats!

And since Halloween falls on a Wednesday, why not throw a little study break soiree?! (or maybe just a soiree- studying is so overrated)

so get on your slutty nurse/baseball player/ninja turtle costume and get into the kitchen!

Gummy Worm Ice Cubes (from Martha Stewart).

Sure this idea was made more kids but who says we can’t spruce up our vodka tonics with these creepy cubes?

What you Need:

Gummy Worms

Ice Cube Tray

Water

(and a selection of alcohol (or non alcoholic) beverages and mixers.

Directions:

Breed gummy worms in ice and infest a cold Halloween drink. Put the worms in an ice-cube tray, letting them stick out of the top and sprawl over the edges, and fill tray with water; freeze. Add cubes to a clear beverage, and watch as kids squirm with delight. Read More »

• New Jersey is good for something this Halloween season: Pumpkins grow on trees!

• You have no excuse not to smile today. It turns out that we all want to be happy and we think good things will happen to us no matter our present situation! Some call that optimism…some call it crazy…either way, we’re hard-wired for it.

• Halloween is all about having fun! Don’t count out video games, ladies!

• Video: Dogs like Halloween too!

• Don’t go to those costume parties empty-handed! Bake up a batch of spider cakes, wicked witch cupcakes, or Braaaaiiinnnsss!!

•Looking for someone to be the Ketchup to your Mustard? Try online dating!

• Video: Sugar-powered rocket engine? Sounds delicious!

• Ghost Ridin’? Sounds spooky!

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for 2 things:

1) Women who eat, sometimes eat unhealthy and never look like this.

2) Mixing drugs with food.

But I cannot condone this new, hip trend of adding beer to your desserts. It’s everywhere.

Beer and popsicles. Beer and cupcakes. Beer and ice cream floats.

This confuses me, because beer is just so…heavy and Americans are gaining weight by the second with all of these fatty combinations.

Are we not getting enough calories with our pastries that we need to add hops and malt and yeast? Are we not getting enough calories with our hops and malt and yeast that we need to add sugar and butter and eggs? Read More »