Is it just me or does the title of this article sound slightly dirty? Regardless, you can do a lot of things with a lemon — that are perfectly clean, mind you. (Or myself, whatever.)  At the grocery store, a lemon costs about 49 cents. They don’t take up that much room in your bag and they are perfect for beating anyone over the head who tries to steal your groceries.

So really, you have no excuse for being unable to purchase that lemon and get it to the safety of your own home. One lemon could very possibly be able to solve almost every life problem (aside from the d-bag that didn’t return your incredibly coy text the other night). Then again, if you want to squeeze lemon juice in his eye.

Get all the lemony secrets right here:

Like using cheap things to cure major life problems? Check out everything Vaseline can do!

I hate you, Jack Daniel.

Q: I don’t know if you’ll know this but I was wondering if you had any advice for curing a hangover? I always feel super crappy for days after a long night out and I don’t know what I can do to feel better. I drink a lot of water and try to get a lot of sleep but nothing helps!

You know bodies – do you have any ideas?

A: Oh, I hear you. We’ve all been there. Unfortunately, there is no magic home remedy (although I can tell you that hungover medical students have been known to hook themselves up to bags of IV fluid, which I’ve been told works wonders!). To some degree, a hangover is just par for the course – one of those lessons the Universe likes to teach us to keep us out of trouble. But assuming the deed is done, what can you do to minimize your suffering? Here are a few tips:

1. If you’re conscious enough in the midst of your drinking binge, make sure to alternate your alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic ones to help your body stay hydrated in the presence of such a strong dehydrator.

2. After you’ve thrown up in the cab and rid yourself of any strays who might have followed you home, down a very large glass of Gatorade, which can help replace the electrolytes you’ve lost. If you can keep it down, chug two or three glasses.

3. Avoid caffeine. Coffee will not help sober you up. It will just make you a jittery, nervous drunk. Because it also dehydrates you, it will only worsen your hangover.

4. Although people may tell you to take two aspirin or a dose of Tylenol before you hit the hay, both can cause more harm than good. Aspirin can irritate the stomach and make you more likely to wind up praying to the porcelain gods. And Tylenol can be toxic to the liver, which is likely busy trying to break down alcohol. Try some extra B vitamins instead.

5. Sleep in. Call in sick if you must. Your body needs rest to repair itself.

6. Forget the hair-of-the-dog advice. Unless you’re an alcoholic in the midst of withdrawing (in which case you’ve got bigger problems and need help), a little nip of alcohol in the morning is likely to just prolong the agony. Try a virgin Bloody Mary instead.

7. Get something into your stomach in the morning, even if you don’t feel like eating. Your stomach gets pretty beat up when you’re drinking heavily, and food helps to coat it.

8. Take ibuprofen or naproxen in the morning to fight off your headache. You tummy will likely have settled down by then and can handle the medication. Take it with food so it doesn’t sit on an empty stomach.

9. Take a shower. It’s likely to perk you up and get the stink off you.

10. If you can stand it, get outside and move your body. It gets your blood flowing and provides welcome endorphins to help you fight the after-effects of too much booze.

Keep in mind that hangovers are our body’s way of responding to an overdose. Because our livers can’t keep up with the alcohol we put in, the whole body rebels. Do your body a favor and stave off hangovers the best way – prevention.

To get even more awesome advice from Dr. Rankin, check out her other posts here or pick up her book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend. It’s awesome!

And of course, there are plenty more old faves where this came from.

I hate you, Jack Daniel.

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – yes, even that – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I don’t know if you’ll know this but I was wondering if you had any advice for curing a hangover? I always feel super crappy for days after a long night out and I don’t know what I can do to feel better. I drink a lot of water and try to get a lot of sleep but nothing helps!

You know bodies – do you have any ideas?

A: Oh, I hear you. We’ve all been there. Unfortunately, there is no magic home remedy (although I can tell you that hungover medical students have been known to hook themselves up to bags of IV fluid, which I’ve been told works wonders!).  To some degree, a hangover is just par for the course – one of those lessons the Universe likes to teach us to keep us out of trouble. But assuming the deed is done, what can you do to minimize your suffering? Here are a few tips:

1. If you’re conscious enough in the midst of your drinking binge, make sure to alternate your alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic ones to help your body stay hydrated in the presence of such a strong dehydrator.
2. After you’ve thrown up in the cab and rid yourself of any strays who might have followed you home, down a very large glass of Gatorade, which can help replace the electrolytes you’ve lost. If you can keep it down, chug two or three glasses.
3. Avoid caffeine. Coffee will not help sober you up. It will just make you a jittery, nervous drunk. Because it also dehydrates you, it will only worsen your hangover.
4. Although people may tell you to take two aspirin or a dose of Tylenol before you hit the hay, both can cause more harm than good. Aspirin can irritate the stomach and make you more likely to wind up praying to the porcelain gods. And Tylenol can be toxic to the liver, which is likely busy trying to break down alcohol. Try some extra B vitamins instead.
5. Sleep in.  Call in sick if you must. Your body needs rest to repair itself.
6. Forget the hair-of-the-dog advice. Unless you’re an alcoholic in the midst of withdrawing (in which case you’ve got bigger problems and need help), a little nip of alcohol in the morning is likely to just prolong the agony.  Try a virgin Bloody Mary instead.
7. Get something into your stomach in the morning, even if you don’t feel like eating. Your stomach gets pretty beat up when you’re binging, and food helps to coat it.
8. Take ibuprofen or naproxen in the morning to fight off your headache. You tummy will likely have settled down by then and can handle the medication. Take it with food so it doesn’t sit on an empty stomach.
9. Take a shower. It’s likely to perk you up and get the stink off you.
10. If you can stand it, get outside and move your body. It gets your blood flowing and provides welcome endorphins to help you fight the after-effects of too much booze.

Keep in mind that hangovers are our body’s way of responding to an overdose. Because our livers can’t keep up with the alcohol we put in, the whole body rebels. Do your body a favor and stave off hangovers the best way – prevention.

–Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

And now you want to barf.

Your head starts pounding as soon as your alarm goes off at 8:00 and you wonder with appreciation who thought to set it last night. You roll over to turn it off (and discover an empty pizza box…who knew?) and a wave of nausea runs over you. “Should I or shouldn’t I go to class?” You should – and you have to.

You stop for coffee and a bagel on the way in hopes that somehow one of the two will soak up the Schlitz that is still making its way through your system. You curse the guy who invented Dollar Pitchers. You curse your friends for making you go. You curse yourself for bringing more than $1 with you.

Before getting a seat in class you run to the bathroom to pee/try to puke again. You shudder at your reflection in the mirror; between the dark circles under your eyes (a combination of exhaustion and leftover eyeliner), the messy ponytail on your head, and the stamp from the bar that rubbed off on your cheek while you slept, there is no way people aren’t going to know you are hung over as hell.

You try to freshen up a bit, but all that work makes you tired and you give up. “It’s Tuesday morning at 9am. Who isn’t hungover?!”

Class starts and you chug your coffee and pray your professor doesn’t call on you to participate. Obviously he/she does and you are forced to discuss the use of irony in the novel and its contribution to the overall theme. Riiiight. Your mouth is full of cotton and you aren’t wearing a bra and now the entire class is going to be focused on you? And you have to talk?

You somehow manage to BS your way through it (or the teacher can’t bear to watch you struggle any longer), and return to your seat where you will nap for the duration of the class. Unfortunately, your stomach – angered by the mere act of standing up – has other plans. As soon as the question is answered and the Prof has moved on, you grab your things and beeline to the bathroom.

As you hug the bowl in the public restroom where profs are coming in and out, you swear to God that you will never drink on a weeknight again. Of course it isn’t true, but in that moment you really mean it.

We know how you feel; we’ve all been hungover for class before.