Yeah, that’s about right.

We all know that 90% of the Olympic sports are pretty random, so what are the requirements for a sport to be admitted?  Requires strength? Athletic ability? Spandex? Stamina? If that’s the case, then how’s this for a proposal: pole dancing.

The future for pole dancing in the Olympics is probably not right around the corner, but believers are already starting to lobby for it to become one.  Ridiculous you say? More ridiculous than Biathlon? I mean, take away the pole and isn’t it almost the same thing as gymnastics?

Let’s look at the pros and cons of adding this “sport” to the Big Games.

CON: It’s pole dancing! The sport of the strippers!  Do we really want people who are paid to take their clothes off representing our country?

PRO: Clothed or nipple tasseled, anyone who has tried pole dancing knows that it is extremely difficult.  It requires an insane amount of practice, strength, and flexibility. And it’s 2010 – pole dancing has been taken out of the dark, smoky strip clubs and has turned into a widely accepted form of exercise and fun activity.

CON: How would the event even be scored? By the speed at which clothes are removed? “Candy (USA) scored a 10 with her record breaking time: She managed to tear her entire outfit off in 2.6 seconds!!” Would stiletto height be considered in reference to level of difficulty? What about acrylic length?

PRO: Just think of the commentating! “Representing Team USA, Luscious! Luscious has been honing her craft since she was 17. She always dreamed of big things, but never imagined she’d end up on this world stage. “

CON: It’s degrading to women, duh.

PRO: Male pole dancers. Yum.

CON: It’s not really the most wholesome “sport,” and the Olympics really are a family event.

PRO: If ever there were something to increase viewership (besides Michael Phelps, that is), Pole Dancing is definitely it.

So, what do you think? Should Pole Dancing be considered an Olympic sport?

Too bad we’re not good at anything. Well, anything that matters, anyway. It’s not like they’re going to be adding beer pong to the Summer Games anytime soon, or giving out golds for walking through the snow in heels. Both of which would surely earn us a medal and maybe even a Wheaties box.

And that got us thinking. If we were Olympians, what would we medal in? After all, if Curling can be considered a sport (isn’t that just Swiffering?), why not these:

Rachael – University of Miami: Definitely klutziness, socializing, and anything relating to rhetoric/debate. Clearly, athletics is not my strong point. . . .

Lauren H – The New School: My guy always says I’d take the gold in sleeping – I can nap anywhere, anytime, and I don’t drool or snore! Bring it on!

Jessica – Hofstra: I would get a gold medal for whining until I get my way, procrastinating, and shopping.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: I’d get a gold medal in baking. Not gonna lie, my low fat cheesecake is pretty much the shiz.

Melanie – Northeastern University: I’d take the gold in exaggerating and pounding Starbucks ice cream.

Megan – Penn State: What Michael Phelps is to swimming, I am to losing my phone.

Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: I would receive a gold metal in complaining about Minnesota weather, raising the roof, and a cereal (Cinnamon Toast Crunch, please) eating contest.

Jackelyn – San Francisco State University: Unfortunately, I’d get a gold medal in procrastination. It’s unbelievable how good I am at it!

Kari – Florida State: I’d go for the gold in saying incredibly awkward things and being productive while hungover.

Sara C – Fordham: If they were handing out medals for memorizing Seinfeld quotes, I’d have the gold all wrapped up!

Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: If being late were a sport, I would for sure be the world champion!

Cristina – Michigan State University: Sleeping hours past my alarm clock and being the only person I know who doesn’t gag when they smell straight vodka.

Kim – University of Delaware: Tripping/falling/waking up with bruises and having no idea where they came from.

Meg – University of Delaware: If I were an olympian, I’d definitely get gold in list making (with a sliver in checking things off), a gold in driving (too) fast and a gold in eating more than I should.

Kim – Stanford: I’d win a gold medal in kicking ass and taking names.

Carly – Grinnell: I often brag about how I would totally bag a gold for carrying groceries. I get a little carried away at the store and find myself walking home while balancing four huge paper bags and simultaneously fishing for my keys and unlocking the apartment door. YES! She nails it!!

Norah – Drake University: I’d take the gold in procrastination, snacking and knowing way too much about the Winter Olympics. I only care about sports for two weeks every four years, so I want to make it count! (Shameless self-promotion: check out my Olympics blog.)

Alex – Lakehead University: Going for the gold in wasting time. I can literally do nothing for an entire day.

Maddie – Tufts: I’d win a gold medal in painting nails… I always say it’s my fallback option for next year if I don’t get a job.

Jessica – FIT: I would have a gold medal in the art of tequila.

Brithny – Duke: If shopping were a sport, I’d be the Michael Phelps of SoHo.

Jessica – Delaware: I’d definitely get a gold medal in sarcasm and one-liners

Kelly – University of Iowa: Losing things. Honestly, if I’m carrying it in my hand I will lose it. Since college started I’ve lost my debit card 5 times, my credit card twice, and my student ID 4 times. And each are $20 to replace.

Julia – UC Berkeley: Text messaging.  I can craft any text for anybody in record time.

Hannah- Assumption College: I would score a gold medal in grocery shopping on a budget and rapping to Lil’ Wayne songs. Sometimes at the same time.

As the winter months keep on keepin’ on, there is a little event that turns snow, ice, and cold into something beneficial: The Winter Olympics.

OK, I know what you’re thinking: the Winter Olympics could never hold a candle to the excitement of Beijing in 2008, or any summer games for that matter. Even if figure skating is pretty fun to watch, we also have to sit through Curling, Bobsledding and the Biathlon. Snore.

But what choice do we have? We’re already down Gossip Girl and Glee, and with the Olympics running for 2 weeks on NBC, there won’t be anything else to watch except guys in spandex speeding down a frozen water slide.

We need something to watch for and we need something now.

Luckily, no matter the sport, the Olympics always provide one thing we can all appreciate: hot pieces of well-toned man meat. We already know we’ll be watching Short-Track Speed Skating (which we didn’t really know existed until now….) to root on American hottie, J.R. Celski, and now I’m bringing you just a few more reasons to tune into (and enjoy) the 2010 Winter Olympics.

If this doesn’t make you proud to be an American, I don’t know what will. Let’s just hope all this hotness doesn’t affect the ice. And although you may never come across these hotties on slopes, you’d be surprised at the selection out there, so get stylin’ winter sports gear and hit the snow!