Photos of the hottest CW guys, you’re very welcome

Is it bad that we actually like the worst songs of the 90s

Foods that pay tribute to the penis

Chris Pine just cannot look bad

Angry Birds Theme Park?!!??  Bring it to the US please!!

Hollywood really really likes sex addiction

Is Joe Jonas trying to get back with T-Swift?!

Beyonce’s new House of Dereon ads are pretty hot

Is this guy Lady Gaga’s new ‘bad romance’?!

I’m going to put this bluntly: it’s time to call it quits.

I say this not because I hate you but because I used to love you. Once upon a time you were the highlight of my Monday night, rivaling even The Bachelor for the most sacred spot in my heart. You were funny and entertaining and Upper East Side style scandalous without being ridiculous. (For future reference, here’s a barometer: Blair sleeping with Chuck in the back of his limo? Okay. Chuck trading Blair and her services to his Uncle in exchange for is hotel? Not okay. Thinly veiled drug references? Okay. Chuck openly talking about his coke habit in last week’s episode? Not okay.) Your characters were fresh and unique, and not completely overpowered by guest stars, and everybody had a plot. I mean, really, all Nate does now is make out with guest stars.

Maybe if you stuck to your original formula you wouldn’t have to drop both Taylor Momsen and Jessica Szohr, two regulars that have been there from the beginning. Now, I can understand Taylor Momsen; that girl went off the slutty deep end. But Vanessa? Jessica Szohr is a gorgeous girl and an amazing role model. What did she ever do to you? Except turn into an evil, annoying character. Which is all your fault.

I think these latest developments signal only one thing. This show has run it’s course. It’s time to call it a day, Gossip Girl.  Close up your doors and end the series, before you become just another One Tree Hill.

Sincerely,
A concerned former  fan.

I realized something once I got to high school, though: that for the most part, the stereotypes about cheerleaders that are presented in movies and TV shows aren’t really fair.  Sure, girls (and guys!) who cheer are expected to act super perky while performing, but that doesn’t mean any of them are stupid.  In fact, a lot of the girls who cheered at my school went on to attend great colleges.  Walking through the halls of my high school, no one would have ever been able to pick out the cheerleaders from the masses.  They didn’t parade the hallways in their uniforms or spew cheers between classes.  They didn’t congregate by the captain’s locker – in fact, they really weren’t all friends, at least not in the clique-y way that we’ve come to associate with cheerleading squads.  And they certainly weren’t mean girls who loved to prey on non-cheerleaders.

Bring It On isn’t the only reason for the negative stereotypes of cheerleaders that seem to float all around America.  Ordinarily I’d hate to say anything bad about Glee, but the fact is, the show caters to the simple-minded view of cheerleaders.  By placing the fictional Cheerios in their flouncy pleated skirts episode after episode, Ryan Murphy strips these characters of their own identities.  I know this decision was intentional, meant to add to the satirical nature of the show, but I think some of the younger, more impressionable viewers could still take these messages to heart.  I mean, who could forget the story line about former loner Mercedes Jones soaring to popularity after joining the cheerleading squad?   How many young girls think they’ll achieve that kind of cheap it-girl status if they don a little skirt?

Last night I watched the premiere of the new CW show Hellcats, expecting to see the same ideas of cheerleaders resurface.  Of course, there was the requisite girl fight twenty minutes into the premiere, a hilariously physical confrontation between uber-cheerleader Savannah (Ashley Tisdale) and Missy…err, I mean Marti (Aly Michalka.)  There was also plenty of bitchiness and backstabbing,  (could we really expect anything else from The CW?) but the most enlightening part of the show came when the squeaky-clean, hyper-ambitious Savannah and her polar opposite Marty engaged in a good old-fashioned heart-to-heart.  Ultimately, I think the unlikely friendship between these two girls will become the heart of the show, and I only hope the creators continue to flesh this out, even amid all the cattiness that is sure to surround them.

I wonder if placing these cheerleaders in a college setting (as opposed to high school) might be the very thing that makes these characters more multi-dimensional.  High school is often shown as a place where only the elite can thrive, but the character of Marti, who is antithetical to the generalizations of most cheerleaders (an intelligent, intellectually ambitious girl who grew up in an unstable environment and favors a black over pink) is entirely believable as a well-adjusted college student.   If the show really allows us to see the cheer squad through her eyes, I think we’ll gradually see the stereotypes (which are still in place during the pilot episode, both in her eyes and ours) start to fall away.    Ashley Tisdale does a great job of rounding out her character – she gives genuine heart to a role that could have come off seeming like a cardboard cutout of a head cheerleader.   I hope the CW does with this show what it did for One Tree Hill so many years ago: show that a team is all about the underlying friendships it breeds, not constant competition or typical American perceptions of “jock culture.”

If Hellcats goes in the right direction, I could see it really changing people’s perceptions of cheerleaders.   And wouldn’t that be “Awesome! Oh, wow!  Like totally freak me out, I mean right on?”

Jennifer Hudson looks hot, has it all.

Makeup can make you sick.

Check out Mac’s sizzling new summer collection!

Ke$ha’s getting even weirder. If that’s possible.

Wait, Justin Bieber is more than friends with Miley?!

Two CW stars get their happily ever after.

That shapeless "dress" is what you get for lying to Dan!

I think we can all agree that it’s not nearly as fun watching Vanessa Abrams be a bitch as it is watching Blair Waldorf.  Mostly because Blair doesn’t normally get bogged down by remorse…at least not right away.

In an episode all about playing games, some people just didn’t know when to stop.  Take Vanessa being even more of a home-wrecker than usual.  As I watched her almost mess up the blossoming love between Dan and Olivia, all I could think about was how the dress that the wardrobe people put her in at the end of the episode was obviously punishment for her being selfish.  And my next thought: when did giving a speech at a Parents’ Weekend dinner become so damn important?

But as Vanessa, Blair, (and Olivia, though unbeknownst to her) battled it out for the right to stand atop the flowery podium at Parents’ Weekend, we saw too many claws come out. Perfectly manicured claws, mind you, but sharp claws nonetheless. Yeah, Vanessa can get off the hook quickly for what she almost did to Dan and Olivia – those Humphrey’s are incredibly forgiving people – but I can’t say the same for Blair and Chuck. Make him kiss a guy (which, by the way, was incredibly hot)? Fine. But lie to him and manipulate him to get what you want?

No one manipulates Chuck Bass. Not even Blair.

And the same goes for Serena, which Nate Archibald may find out the hard way. Before I get into this little Rounders-meets-Gossip-Girl storyline, I’d like to take a moment to welcome Nate back to the show. For the past 5 episodes he’s taken a backseat with Bree Buckley and we haven’t seen much of his cuteness. I know he wasn’t pregenant/post pregnant like Lily Bass, so I wonder what was keeping him from the screen? Meh, it doesn’t matter; he’s back….and falling in line with the family once again.

And of course that means hurting someone important in his life just because Grandfather (really, is there something wrong with “Grandpa”? Do people really call him Grandfather??) said so. Now, Serena deserves a little hurt now and then seeing what she’s pulled on other people, but I was really on her side hoping to get Carter Basin back safe and sound….without the rough hands of an oil rig guy. What? He’s hot and I love having a date with him every Monday.

But Carter Basin isn’t coming back, at least for now. And S may never forgive Nate for playing her way better than she played poker.

And that’s where the episode ended. But, as we all know, the games do not. They never end for this UES crowd. Especially considering next week is Halloween.

You know you love them.

XOXO,
GGR

Me. Crying. For the entire scene.

Call me a sap all you want, but there were tears this week. Real ones.

First they were tears of frustration and anger – crying because the scene that I have been anticipating for weeks, when Rufus and Lily finally discover that Scott is their son, was squished into some 15 second clip where Georgina walks by and breezily mentions it. But then it became tears of happiness as Rufus professed his undying love to Lily and told her to stop getting cold feet and just move them down the aisle already. And then the tears turned to even more happiness and love when Scott and his parents hugged and cried and proved that children given up by their parents at birth really can re-integrate into their previous families twenty years later.

Sounds kind of like a Lifetime movie, but I’ll work with it. Box of tissues in hand.

Sidetrack to Georgina for a second: The only word for her this episode is CREEPY. And I’m not just talking about her whole I-love-Dan-and-I’ll-do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-him-back thing. Is she getting paler and more wide-eyed every episode? I know it suits her overly-involved obsessive personality, but come on, makeup artists – ever hear of bronzer? Maybe if she started reading CollegeCandy she’d learn some much needed makeup tips and how to spot a guy who isn’t into her so she can move on instead of trying to ruin things for him and his superstar, hot, Hilary Duff actress girlfriend. But more importantly, she’d learn a few things about bronzer.

Now back to Rufus and Lily: After tip-toeing around each other, they finally tie the knot at the Brooklyn loft (insert more tears that their perfect garden with perfect flowers in perfect weather didn’t get to happen). Jenny made the gorgeous wedding gown, Serena wore some fabulous frock that made her boobs look ridic and Jenny wore….my grandma’s moo moo. I wept for her stylists.

We all know that no big event on the Upper East Side could ever run smoothly and a Lily Bass wedding is no exception. Even before the big “this is your son” debacle, we finally learned that Carter Basin scammed the Buckleys into paying off his debts. But last we saw, his gorgeous body and that face-so-hot-it-makes-me-tear-up were sandwiched between two very large Texans and about to be used to pay back his bookie fees. Apparently Southern families never forget. And apparently those Southern girls will do anything to help their families, and that includes using one poor Nate Archibald. Poor kid, he really thought that Brie was falling for him. He should have listened to the astonishing, gorgeous, please-let-me-be her Blair Waldorf.

“No girl is that nice.”

And no other girl would get an amazing Chuck Bass massage, a moment I watched with tears in my eyes since my boyfriend doesn’t take cross-continental massage technique lessons.

Well, at least I’m not Carter Basin. Homeboy’s in for some serious pain. We’ll just have to see how it all goes down next week. Until then….

You know you love them.
XOXO.
GGR.
(Gossip Girl Recapper)

Thank you, television Gods.

For a week there, I thought that my beloved Gossip Girl was destined to go the way of The O.C., becoming a drama where the only superior things were wardrobe choices. But after watching episode two of the season, it seems that the drama and romance we cannot live without is here to stay and growing better by the week.

And the guys are looking so. much. hotter. College did those boys gooood.

Well, for some. For Chuck Bass it was that businessman/entrepreneurial drive that turned up his sexy factor. That boy looks good when he’s holding meetings with rich old guys to get his restaurant/sex club off the ground. Too bad dear old stepsister Serena seems to thwart him at every turn. Poor Chuck finally has a vision and a plan to do something great in the future and Serena goes and ruins it for him.

If she didn’t have such an amazing wardrobe (that orange romper? I die) I’d totally hate her. She’s become the annoying little sister and has a knack for messing everything up. I’m pretty sure the same will be said (in 4 episodes, max) of her new relationship with super hottie, Carter Basin.

On the other side of New York – the lower side – Blair finally discovers that Georgina Sparks is going to be her roommate. As Blair tries to win over the plebeian college kids with overpriced sushi and fine dining, Dan and Georgina embrace the “cheap beer, loud music” lifestyle and find themselves on the top of the college social totem pole (who knew that even existed anyway?). Looks like Prada dresses and headbands with big bows don’t matter at NYU if you can’t talk about alternative music and cool camera angles…but does Dan Humphrey really have what it takes to stay on top? Sure, he managed to save one “wild” college party and humiliate Blair, but if we know anything about B, she’ll bounce back, with not a hair out of place. After all, everyone knows that nobody actually remembers what happens the first week of college, anyway.

And where were Nate and Bree? Spending the whole day in bed, of course. They have to be mentioned because any partially clothed scenes of Chace Crawford are worth mentioning, but that’s about all there is to them.

Things to look forward to: the upcoming war between Blair and Georgina. My money is on Blair, but scenes from next week (naked man in Blair’s bed, evil Georgina Sparks eyes) means that Blair is sure to be stepped on a little bit before she can claw her way back up to the top. Also, Dan’s half-brother is still there, still biding his time, still hooking up with Vanessa. Please just spill your guts already! That drama is long overdue.

Storyline the writers just had to throw in: Lonely boy Dan and re-born Georgina Sparks waking up together after her party. Nobody cares anymore. (Editor’s Note: Excuse me? Nobody cares?! I guffawed! Audibly!) However, I’m sure it’s going to bother Serena, and then maybe we can see some of that Season 1 Dan-Serena sexual tension onscreen. If that’s where this storyline is going, then I’m all for it.

Highlight of the show: Blair crawling into bed with Chuck, falling asleep, and making us all wish we were her. Forgive me for being a sap, but I’m hoping they stay semi-functional for a while. I could use some romance in my life.

Until next week…
You know you love them.

XOXO.
GGR (Gossip Girl Recapper)

There are a lot of celebrities out there that simply disappear, whether it be voluntarily or due to lack of talent/rehab/Bermuda triangle.  There are a couple that have massive amounts of issues, yet refuse to disappear.  In fact, they seem to pop up everywhere, strutting around uninvited on every red carpet.  People like Bai Ling and Paris Hilton are prime examples.

More recently, we have Mischa Barton.  I gotta admit, I really do enjoy watching a mediocre TV actress fall from grace (and she fell hard!).  Oh, speaking of mediocre actresses, I think I heard the other day that Tara Reid has teamed up with the douchebag powerhouse that is Christian Audigier to design some piece of crap that I’ll certainly see all around campus.  Yay.

In light of that wonderful piece of news, I think it’s time to pair up a couple of the most washed up faces in Hollywood:  Mischa Barton and Tara Reid.

Acting
Mischa Barton was never a steller actress, let’s not lie.  She peaked in The Sixth Sense as the creepy ghost girl who barfed a lot.  The OC was a shambles, especially when she became a drug addict or whatever and then died randomly in the third season.  Has anyone seen Mischa in anything since then?  Not unless you caught one of her straight-to-DVD releases.  Yeesh.

Tara Reid is not a great actress by any means.  I did enjoy her run in American Pie (1 and 2) and the episodes of Scrubs that she appeared in were hilarious.  However, whenever I watch her in anything else, all that comes to mind is the word “sticky.”  She just looks sticky and sweaty and drunk at all times…probably because she’s always at least one of those things (I’m voting for drunk).  See: Taradise.

Point: Mischa Barton. In the realm of acting, Mischa Barton is a fail.  At least Tara Reid’s slew of vapid, slutty characters are entertaining.

Fashion
Mischa Barton wears some pretty awesome stuff.  I’ve actually opened up the style section of a magazine and seen her there (the good part of the style section, not the losers section).  She takes chances and it pays off.  Not always, though…we’ve had some pretty awful situations involving vintage items, mini dresses and feathers.  Her foray into headbands has also gotten pretty interesting…

Tara Reid has no style.  Her “style,” as it were, consists of crop tops, glittery things, and denim mini skirts.  I certainly won’t be forgetting the exposed boob incident for a while.  She also seems to be anti-bra, even after her boob job.

Point: Tara Reid. It’s no contest, really.

(Un)classiness
Mischa Barton has been pretty unclassy lately, what with her boozin’ and partyin’.  At least she checked into rehab (finally!) after one too many shots of her looking like a certifiably crazy person with a really puffy face.  Oh, and let’s not forget her 2007 arrest for drunk driving (without a license).  Classy, girl.

Tara Reid just oozes class skankiness.  That girl is an a bikini 90% of the time, swigging something from a bottle (but not eating…never eating).  She’s done her time in rehab, but her reputation as a boozehound isn’t leaving her anytime soon.  See again: Taradise.

Point: Tara Reid. Not classy.  Anti-classy.

Love Life
Mischa Barton dates musicians.  Seriously – if you’re in an indie rock band and are based somewhere in the UK, you probably have a pretty good chance of getting with Mischa Barton (lucky you).  That is, when she gets out of rehab.

Tara Reid has dated every football player ever (only a slight exaggeration) and a generous sprinkling of other men have decorated her arm over the years.  I guess guys really do go for those party-girl types.  I’m gonna go get my drink on and test this theory out…

Point: Tara Reid. Maybe if she worked more and spent less time romping around random beaches she’d be less of a whore.  Maybe.

Gossip Presence
Mischa Barton has been huge in the gossip columns lately: is she suicidal? Will she still have a role on the new CW show after her stint in rehab?  Where is she getting all of these headbands?  Very important stuff.

Tara Reid really isn’t doing much of anything and it shows:  she isn’t in any gossip column.  When she does appear, it’s mostly following comments that are surprised to find she still exists (but not at all surprised that she’s sloppy and drunk and…sticky).

Point: Mischa Barton. She is definitely being talked about, what with this whole rehab/new TV show thing going on.  Tara…only wishes she had something newsworthy about her.

Celebretard Prize Goes To: Tara Reid. Just bow out peacefully and go seclude yourself on some beach so you don’t accidentally brush up against anyone and rub off your fake tan/greasiness.

Love It:

Why do we love any reality show? Not for the photo sessions; it’s obviously about the drama. The issues that come from 13 girls competing for the title of “prettiest” living together in a house is undeniable, and makes for many memorable moments. Remember when Shandi cheated on her boyfriend with the male model? Or when Joanie had her teeth pulled? How about Camille and her “signature walk” that was supposed to “make her famous?” And then there was Melrose always tried to give “advice” to everyone…

Bottom line: the “drama” in the show is funny! I’m sure it was a huge deal to Cycle 7′s Jaeda to get her hair cut short, but watching her melt down and cry because of it was hilarious for me!

If the contestants aren’t ridiculous enough, Tyra Banks is the creator and top-judge of the program. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tyra as a model and her talk show is a guilty pleasure on sick-days, but on ANTM she is just plain crazy. That being said, I will never get sick of  her wacky outfits and hairstyles, her bizarre criticism of the girls, her desire to be a photographer or her constant reminders to “smile with your eyes!” Plus she sings the show’s theme song! Girl does it all.

Finally, ANTM rocks because of one man: Nigel Barker. The multiracial “noted fashion photographer” and former model is so tasty. As if his face (and body!) weren’t enough, he also has that sexy British accent. Oh, and a wife. And two kids. But do you see any of them on the show? No. So for an hour each week we can dream.

Loathe It:

The show is getting boring. The same challenges are used yearly (we’ve seen the go-see challenge and ‘risque’ photo shoots practically every cycle) and it’s fairly easy to tell who’s going home on each episode because it’s generally the girl who gets the most interview time. Nothing is really unexpected at this point, the only thing that changes is what the girls fight about (granola bars?) and who wins.

I don’t know if this bothers anyone else, but I personally hate the constantly-changing real-model judge. First it was Janice Dickenson, then Twiggy, and now Paulina. Janice, even more than Tyra herself, was absolutely ridiculous, which made for some very hilarious and uncomfortable situations. Twiggy took some getting used to, but just as I was starting to warm up to her, Paulina had to step up! And homegirl is kiiiind of a beezy. Thank goodness Miss J (and Nigel!) are still on the panel, or the whole judging thing would be snooze worthy.

The biggest problem with the show however, is that the actual contestants seem to be getting more and more boring, in both their looks and actions. Where are the edgy girls? Or the girls of different races or culture? I don’t see them anymore! If that wasn’t bad enough, apparently when this cycle was filming, producers and camera people actually had to create drama for the girls to fight about so the show would be semi-interesting. It seems that competitive, tall, pretty girls just aren’t entertaining anymore. For this reason, the producers of the show have cooked up a great idea for the next season: allowing ONLY girls 5’7” and under to compete. Are short girls more evil memorable? We better hope that they are, or the next season will be even worse than the last two!

Final verdict? As long as Gossip Girl stays on Mondays, and Grey’s is on Thursdays, I’ll continue to devote an hour each Wednesday to Top Model (because what else would I do?). Otherwise I guess I’ll be seeing Tyra and the gang in syndication on VH1. Maybe.

Are any of you still watching ANTM, or are you over it? Let me know in the comments section!

"I'm sorry I tried to ruin your life to get onto Page 6"

After a two-week hiatus (WTF, CW?) Gossip Girl returned last night. I don’t know if I can handle any more breaks, but OMG, was it worth the wait!  As the weather changes outside, so are our friends from the Upper East Side.

First, let me start by saying how happy I was to see Cyrus again!  That little bald nugget of a stepdad is one of those gems (like Dorota) that make Gossip Girl sparkle.  Especially since Dorota was off falling in love and Vanessa was MIA, too!   She finally gets a good storyline, AND a backbone, and suddenly she’s nowhere to be seen. Was that delicious plotline with her and Chuck just a tease? WAS IT?

And with Rufus deciding to close down the art gallery, where is she gonna brew her coffee? What on earth is going to happen to V?

Also, can I just say that I am secretly really happy that the economy is affecting GG, though a bit peeved that it was the Humphrey’s that got crapped on. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of wealthy people out there who were hit hard in this recession, so why is it the “poor” Brooklyn family that gets it? And, being that they are in a bit of financial ruin, why would Rufus care about Dan getting a job? And why doesn’t my dad feel that way? But secretly Dan did get a job, and how cute did he look in that uniform?  Presh.

And what a coincidence that everyone ended up at the same Seder dinner.  Thank god they did because it was the one of the funniest meals I have ever witnessed (and I’ve seen some doozies).  Though it seemed nobody was ready to sit through the typical seven-hour meal, it was fun to watch Dan be Eleanor’s bitch boy and nice to see S and Lonely Boy teaming up, since their chemistry is so cute.  But I don’t know how I feel about this Gabriel character…  I fell in love with his hunkiness, but what are he and Poppy cooking up? Did Serena and him really get married, and he’s just playing it off, or is that just my imagination running wild? (GG tends to do that to me.)

Of course, there was some drama away from the seder too. Mostly involving Blair and Nate. I was ready to throw my remote at the TV when B was ready to sacrifice her boyfriend’s future for a picture in the style pages. (And might I add – Nate looks really good when he’s standing up for himself. Mmmmm.) Really, Blair? Have you learned nothing from all your scheming? But then, in true GG form, there was a twist, both Blair and Nate (thanks to Chuck) had an Aha Moment and they ended up in an adorable embrace before the episode ended.

Last night’s episode was on of the best in a long time (and not just because it’s been 2 weeks since the last one). It was funny, it was dramatic, and it is totally opening up a lot of doors for next week. I just can’t wait for the return of my favorite villain, Georgina. I hate her so much that I can’t help but love her!

So what did you all think of the show?