A quality morning at CollegeCandy starts with some lite facebooking, tweeting, and gossip seeking. And most days the Internet is a goldmine. If the Kardashians aren’t using khild slave labor, then Beyonce is faking her pregnancy. It’s  always something.

Except at the end of December when all the good celebrities go on vacation and we’re left with weak headlines and even weaker celebrities. Just look at what I had to deal with today…

It’s not the singing that’s bad. Or the tune, even. I mean, as far as D-Listers-turned-song-writers go, this song blows both Kim Zolciak and The Countess right out of the water.

It’s more the fact that the song is total bullsh*t that has us screaming “WTF?!?!” and pulling at our freshly trimmed locks. Really, Michael? A song about how much you love Lindsay? “A father’s love will never die”? Perhaps “I’m The Worst Dad Ever” would have been more appropriate. Or “I’m Sorry You’re So Messed Up, This Is Totes My Fault.” Hell, at least give her something she can dance around to in her cell.

Good lord, this man is a fame whore. It’s time we send this douchey dad off to an island with no cell phone service, no Internet and no. freaking. music producers.

Recently, in a bright exchange of words I like to call a meaningful conversation, my good friend and I pondered about various famous men we lusted after in middle school.  Once Ricky Martin and his taut cheeks came up in the mix, we drooled and pondered about how he also liked men with taut butt cheeks.  Then we really got to thinking and grew depressed at the disappointment of the day Lance Bass took a giant leap out of the closet (even though it wasn’t the most surprising news we’d ever received).

The bright side? I hadn’t thought of Ricky Martin since shaking my bon-bon in my parents’ basement at the respectable age of 13. His coming out lifting him from obscurity and catapulted him back to the level of his days sipping out of the Cup of Life. I was hearing about him virtually everywhere. Ricky Martin hid from fame for so long and with his news, came out of a closet and basked in US Weekly glory, paycheck after paycheck.

Coming out in Hollywood is like working overtime.  It’s the key to success for has-been A-listers, a chance to return to relevance and once again soak up the limelight.  Look at Lindsay Lohan for instance; she didn’t need her leggings line anymore once she started toting DJ Samantha Ron-Hizzle around.  And who needs the title of American Idol when you’re sporting eye liner and getting frisky with other dudes on stage like one Mr. Adam Lambert? And you know Lance Bass’s “I’m Gay” cover story took him from former boy-bander who no one remembered to insta-celebrity over night.

It’s true: going gay is the life jacket to Hollywood careers. It does what no publicist, Oscar nomination or incarceration could ever manage. It’s more powerful than a nipple slip, more potent than an ill-fitting stage ensemble, and more memorable than general douche-baggery. It’s the key to going from child-star-turned-Vegan-farmer to Reality TV Show host with endorsement deals and magazine covers to boot.

And keeping that in mind, I’m surprised Heidi Montag hasn’t gotten a girlfriend yet there are a few suspect D-Listers out there who might want to consider throwing open the doors of the closet they’ve been hiding in. We haven’t seen or heard much from these peeps in awhile, but that’s nothing that an “I’m Gay” won’t fix. You can thank us later, Hollywood. Read More »

Bethenny Frankel from The Real Housewives of New York City has recently received a lot of flack for losing 29 of her 35 pounds baby weight in just less than three weeks. She gave birth to her premature daughter, who was born at just about 4 pounds, on May 8th, and has since reverted back to her original pre-baby 122 pounds body. To be honest, when I first read this about Bethenny (I had no idea who she was) I was shocked to find out that she lost more than 3/4 of her weight in less than 3 weeks. I understand that she was already pretty small (a size 4) before she got pregnant and she had been healthily monitoring her weight while she was pregnant….but her baby, Bren, was only four pounds when she was born! What does that say about her ‘actual’ eating habits when Bethenny was carrying this baby?

The problem with ‘celebrities’ (the term used very loosely) shedding the majority of their baby weight rapidly right after they give birth is that they give an extremely unrealistic perception of baby weight loss to the general public and to the women who emulate to look like these women. Given their status and fame, ‘celebrities’ are guaranteed the opportunity and time to work with a personal trainer, have chefs cook their foods, consult with a nutritionist and happily maintain the facade that they really didn’t do anything but “eat healthy” and “exercise” to lose weight after their pregnancies. While that is partly true, we often forget that these ways of weight loss are not meant to be completed in a span of three weeks but rather a longer and more tedious time frame where it’s not merely losing the baby weight but also trying to maintain the healthy fluids that are meant to be beneficial for the babies.

I do understand that the pressures of the industry do provoke even D-List celebrities like Bethenny to look fit, but it’s one thing to be fit and in shape just for yourself, but another thing to possibly endanger the life of your baby for the sake of looking skinny. Bethenny herself has clearly stated from the past that she’s struggled with healthy weight loss and nutrition since she was a kid and even has written bestseller books chronicling how to maintain a svelte figure. I do admire Bethenny’s endurance in keeping up with her weight (she says she lost almost 25 pounds of her baby weight just via C-Section), but when ‘celebrities’ send out these type of messages, they must stress the importance of healthy weight loss and eating right.

We often forget that while we look up to celebrities for their physical attributes, most of the times, they have many more resources than us in looking good. Yes, do stay slim and in shape, but maintain it in a healthy manner.

It seems like just yesterday I was packing my gloves, hats, and facemask to come back to school and start 2nd semester. And now, all of a sudden, it’s spring break. Time is of the essence and even though most people only have a few days or a week to pull themselves together, here are my last-minute spring break tips.

Invest in Sunscreen- I know. I sound like your mom. That’s because I’m quoting my own mom. But seriously its been months since your skin has been exposed to the sun. The only thing more tragic than coming back with cornrows from the Caribbean is returning to school with a 3rd degree burn and 4 inch blister on your face (true story).

Begin Drinking Dangerous Amounts- (And this is part of the blog where I veer away from anything my mom has ever said.) In just a few days you will be drinking more alcohol than your liver could ever imagine and unless you want to die, it’s essential you start building up your tolerance ASAP. I know that a lot of people have midterms this week but that’s no excuse to be letting your guard down. There should be beers at every breakfast and shots with every snack. If there is any point during the day where you could legally drive, you are not preparing yourself responsibly for whats going to happen during break.

Start Sleeping- When you’re not drinking, you should be sleeping. Sleep so much that you will never want to sleep again. Because you won’t be sleeping. Not for an entire week. Chances are that if you’re not in the mood to get some, your roommate will be. There’s no hope for any 8-hour nights in any spring break destination. Read More »