"No, you can not pretend it's Halloween in June. You're 22! Get a Job!"

Note: Let me first start by saying this excludes anyone 8 and younger and for now we are not going to even start with the girls who call their boyfriends “Daddy.” Right now, I’m looking at the 16+ crowd who still, for some really weird reason, need to call their fathers “Daaaadddddddy.” Ladies, this is for you. 

Dear women and young women who still say “Daddy,”

Maybe it’s because I don’t understand you, that I hate hearing your shrill voice yell for your “Daddy” as you stomp your foot. Maybe it’s because I’ve had old men ask me if I need a new Daddy, so the fact that you refer to your father as “Daddy” complete creeps me out. But, it’s probably because while you are doing so, you are usually throwing a tantrum, and you are also well into your 20′s. That’s why I usually look at you with disgust then opt to walk the other way, hoping not to run into you again.

I realize growing up it scary, so you want to hold on to your childhood. You dig your teeth and nails into a younger version of you where people won’t look at you as if you are an idiot when you scream “Daddy” and throw a tantrum because he won’t buy you a chocolate cone. But here is some advice, if you get a job and move out…you can buy yourself whatever you want. I know it may seem crazy, but I hear everyone is doing it.

I know you are probably sitting in your 50 room mansion reading this while calling for your Daddy and seeing if there is anything he can do to make the mean girl on the screen go away, but girlfriend take a hint from Lohan and get a clue (yes I realize that was a little lame, but drastic times call for corny phrases.) I’m only here to help you.

The first step to overcoming this is by looking up other names for your “Daddy.”

Here are a few off the top of my head: Dad, Father, Padre, Pops, Papa, Père, PA, and old man. Try them out, see which one works best. But just please stop saying Daddy, it makes you sound like a half-wit who is completely spoiled.

The second step is letting your father (I know it’s a different word, but you’ll get used to it) know that you are ready to be treated like an adult, or young adult at the very least. It’s your job to let him know when he can treat you like an adult, because if (some) parents had their choice, you would be their baby forever.

The last step (for now, feel free to email me for further advice on breaking this habit) is to get a job. I don’t care if your parents are rich, that is their money. Start making your own money, honey! It feels so much better to spend your own cash you worked for, trust me.

I don’t want to make fun you lovely ladies, but if you keep whining like a lost three-year old I will. So please at least try these simple steps and lets hope for a brighter future for everyone with in yelling distance of you and your father.

Sincerely,

Courtney

They love their daughters, no matter what. Basically, I’ve put my dad through hell and back, and I’m well-deserved to be blamed for his heart problems. My dad is the father of two girls, both in college. Despite all we’ve put him through – from going through private education, “borrowing” the credit card, bringing home boys with less than ideal traits, throwing a two hundred person rager when left alone with the house, accidentally drunk dialing him, and subjecting him to The Hills and Gossip Girl every Monday night – he still totally loves me. And it takes a lot.

Dads protect their little girls from everything. Though he never pulled out his shotgun and cleaned it in front of any of my potential suitors, my dad has done whatever he could to protect me from a broken heart. And broken bones. And scary boogey men. He’s kept me safe and I love him for it.

When I was younger, my family moved around a lot. I mean, A LOT. I moved to a new state about every two years, and even though I adapted fairly quickly to my new schools, I would occasionally get very anxious in the evening about my upcoming day at school and the potential monsters under my bed and in my closet. After thoroughly scoping out my room for any bad guys, my dad would promise me every night, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, because today is the day you worried about yesterday.” Kind of corny, but it help me feel safe and reassured and it’s a phrase that still protects me to this day.

Dads guide their kids through life. Without dad, I’d never learn how to throw a baseball, balance a checkbook (still working on that one), appreciate a good classic comedy, do laundry, or make the best French toast in the universe. Seriously, you should try it. So. Good.

My dad is the coolest. He knows the best shows on television, gets me tickets to all my favorite sporting events, and he still manages to take me and my friends and family on the bombest vacations every spring break and summer. Helloooo, Miami! Alright, so maybe his “cool factor” doesn’t exactly meet up with everyone’s standards, but I think it’s amazing that he hasn’t missed a single episode of David Letterman in, like, 100 years, and can quote every Mel Brooks’ movie. I’m pretty sure I was the only little girl in grade school who was unknowingly repeating lines from “Blazing Saddles” and I think that’s pretty cool.

No matter what I do, dad can’t stay mad at me. He’s always by my side, cheering me on and challenging my every decision. Oh, and when I ask for $10, he’s always giving it to me.

I love you daddy; here’s to the most deserved holiday of the year! Now go shower your dads in ties and pens, take them to brunch, and let them golf all damn day.

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

Happy (almost) Father’s Day! We know you guys aren’t dads (and if there are any dads reading this, well, that’s just sorta icky), but you are most likely celebrating one. Just because you’re showering your dad with gifts of bacon and neckties, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a little somethin’ somethin’ for yourself.

So we’re bringing you the hottest celebrity dads around. Because while it may be gross to think of your dad as a hottie (OMG…can’t….get…that…image….out…of….my….head….), it’s totally fine to celebrate the hotness that is the Celebrity DILF.

What we wouldn’t give to have these guys bounce us on their knee for a few. Come to mama!
[Click images to see them in all their daddy glory!]

And what’s the best (and cheapest) way to do that? Why, to tell them why you love them, of course! Yes, our dads may make really bad jokes when our friends are around or constantly regale us with their stories from Woodstock, but that’s what makes them so damn loveable, right?

This week the CollegeCandy writers shared why they love their dads, despite the ridiculous/gross/embarrassing things that they do.

Abby – Syracuse University: My dad still thinks that Hungry Man frozen dinners are a nutritious and delicious dinner option…

Sara C- Fordham: My dad insists on watching golf on television (ew) with the volume really loud, but he always invariably falls asleep 10 minutes after sitting down. Of course, as soon as I try to turn the channel he snaps out of la-la land and goes, “Hey! I was watching that!” Oh, Dad.

Kathryn – University of Wisconsin-Madison – Even though my dad constantly nags me about finding a “real person” job and appreciating the value of money (as if I don’t understand the concept of paying bills), I still totes magotes love him!

Kari – Florida State: My dad is incredibly hairy with an aversion to pants.

Lauren – University of Michigan: My dad passed on his finest genes to me: really bushy eyebrows and horribly ugly feet. Somehow, despite my weekly waxes and inability to wear sandals, I still heart him.

Alex – Lakehead: My dad sings top 40 music and completely changes the lyrics, but I still love him.

Brithny – Duke : My dad dyes his hair and gels it into a mini-spike in an attempt to look “young and hip” – but he doesn’t know he’ll always be the coolest dad in my book.

Thu – USC: He constantly speaks (read: yells at an unnecessary level) as though we are a block away.

Liza M – Minnesota: My dad is totally over-protective and thinks that I’m still 5 years old sometimes…

Amanda – Reed: Even though my dad collects avant-garde Russian posters and buys toy trains on eBay, I still love him.

Carly – Grinnell: He still doesn’t believe that I know how to drive.

Jill – University of Wisconsin: I love my dad even though he stands over the computer for far too long looking at what I’m doing. I know its just because hes fascinated by the technology,  but I don’t need him to see me stalking my crush on Facebook and then ask me 5 million questions.

Charlsie – Hollins: Whenever I call my dad and tell him I need something he says, “Listen, I checked on the internet and Google told me no one ever died from it, so go ahead.” I don’t know where he picked this up or why he says it every single time, but it always brightens my day and puts a smile on my face!

Ricki- University of Michigan: Even though my dad comments about my sex life and my experience, he’s still one of my best friends.

Cristina – Michigan State: Even though my dad pokes my ticklish sides every time he’s behind me and I don’t know it, I’m still of a fan of his work (creating me, obv.).

K – GWU: He bumps country music mad loud.

Alana – Boston University: My dad threatens the guys I date with a shotgun and a shovel.

Maddie – Tufts: Even though my dad wears those really embarrasing 1920′s style cabbie hats when we go out to dinner, I still totally love him.

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My dad is not hot.

My best friend’s dad… well, that’s another story. Any of these dads… definitely doable.

But my dad… not at all.

Sucks for me because, according to a recent study, I’m more likely to date guys who are daddy look-a-likes.

The study found that women who had good childhood relationships with their fathers were often attracted to men who resembled their dear old daddies. The same did not go for women with bad father-daughter relationships.

And of course, I am the ultimate daddy’s girl. Grrreat.

This concept has been in the works since Freud but the researchers behind the new study say that their results “show for certain that the quality of a daughter’s relationship with her father has an impact on whom she finds attractive.”

It seems that I may have to brace myself for a skinny Jewish analyst in my future.

So, to my fellow daddy’s girls: next time you see your dad, take a good look at that face because some resemblance of it will likely find its way into your love life.

Ugh… it’s going to be an awkward Father’s Day dinner.