Yeah.

Not that I mind being single – I have actually gotten quite used to it – I just worry that spending so much time depending on myself and myself only has sorta made me….too single.

I don’t remember what it’s like to be in a relationship anymore; to answer to someone else, to plan around someone else, to make decisions with someone else. I sleep in the middle of my bed – and I hog all the pillows. I spend my evenings with takeout food and TLC reality shows that no guy would ever watch. I sometimes go days without washing my hair and months without getting a wax. I devote any and all time to hanging out with my friends. I take out my own garbage and buy my own drinks.

I change my own flat tires.

I enjoy being a truly independent woman, but I am starting to wonder if all that “I can do it”-ness is preventing me from finding someone. If my contentedness is preventing me from actually getting out there and bringin’ home a boy. Well, a boyfriend. I have gotten quite good at just bringing home a boy.

A friend recently told me (drunk at 3 a.m., mind you) that the key to getting a guy is playing the damsel in distress. Not in all aspects of your life, but in some. Her weapon is a lack of car; she always needs the guy to drive, so he feels good taking care of her. And guys keep lining up to give this girl a ride (pun not intended)..

Even Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker, would agree (and not when she’s drunk at 3 a.m.). Guys need to be guys and they need to feel needed. They may admire a woman who can do it all herself, but it steps on their manly toes a bit when she does.

The fact that I’ve done it all myself for the past few years, then, may be the reason its been so long. I’m so used to being out of a relationship that I may be preventing myself from getting into one.

I think I’m officially too single. Is that possible?

Add one more to the line of cute-n-quirky games that are being put out to attract gamers to shelves. Like Katamari Damacy, the game play is easy, the colors bright, the plot simple: feed the princess, make her heavy so people don’t steal her. Easy! But is it too much?

Some feminists seem to think so. According to this article, feminist gamers from no less than two web sites are up in arms over this. Because she’s a girl. And she’s fat. That’s a problem for feminism. . . apparently.

Now before we proceed, I am a feminist. Ra, ra, fight against inequalities and all that. But rather then be upset about this game, I’ve found a few reasons to applaud this game. Yes, in the name of feminism.

I see Fat Princess as a new wave in gaming.

For starters, she’s in her own castle. This is no damsel in distress that’s been whisked away by some fiendish overlord waiting for some dashing knight to get off his questing butt and come save her. No, her kingdom didn’t let her get stolen. They want her to stay. They value her. Not as some after-prize for vanquishing evil, like, “Sure random adventurer, if you kill Evil Guy over there you can marry that chick he stole.” No, they don’t want you to steal their Princess. They want to keep her.

Secondly, Princess places value on things over her physical appearance. Clearly her little soldiers aren’t great in number, but you know what her kingdom does have? A forest full of cake that they’re going to use to their advantage. She’s not saying, “No I’d rather just get captured.” She says “Pass the cake, I gotta put on some pounds to save my life.”

Not to mention the fact that in ancient times before women were oppressed as the “weaker sex” they were worshiped and loved for their roundness. So, now we have this game that is simply reenacting ancient rituals that uplifted and adored women.

This is a feminist game. Laughing at it is alright because its teaching us to laugh at ourselves and our own absurd culture. There’s nothing wrong with Fat Princess. There will be cake… and I will feed it to her.

[Photo courtesy of Fat Priness game site.]