Remember when Jenny Humphrey was just a cool, normal chick from Brooklyn? You know, before she dropped out of school to become a punk rock fashion designer and well before she became the biggest bitch on the UES?

She’s come a long way since those days. And even though she’s sporting over-sized t-shirts and men’s ties instead of bedazzled headbands, Jenny Humphrey is quickly surpassing Blair Waldorf as the meanest Queen in school. Yeah, we all thought she could live in both worlds – sweet Jenny at home and big, scary Jenny on the steps – but she proved us all wrong. First she demands almonds without the skin and then she dumps a perfectly good yogurt on her brother?

WTF, Jenny? There are starving children in Africa! You get twelve shopping bags from Bergdorf’s and suddenly you have no respect for the people who care about you most?  Seriously, girl, get a clue. And a hairbrush. Those extensions are lookin’ a little, well, nappy. Read More »

Thank you, television Gods.

For a week there, I thought that my beloved Gossip Girl was destined to go the way of The O.C., becoming a drama where the only superior things were wardrobe choices. But after watching episode two of the season, it seems that the drama and romance we cannot live without is here to stay and growing better by the week.

And the guys are looking so. much. hotter. College did those boys gooood.

Well, for some. For Chuck Bass it was that businessman/entrepreneurial drive that turned up his sexy factor. That boy looks good when he’s holding meetings with rich old guys to get his restaurant/sex club off the ground. Too bad dear old stepsister Serena seems to thwart him at every turn. Poor Chuck finally has a vision and a plan to do something great in the future and Serena goes and ruins it for him.

If she didn’t have such an amazing wardrobe (that orange romper? I die) I’d totally hate her. She’s become the annoying little sister and has a knack for messing everything up. I’m pretty sure the same will be said (in 4 episodes, max) of her new relationship with super hottie, Carter Basin. Read More »

Serena Van der Woodsen is back in the tabloids, Blair and Chuck are still smooching, and Nate’s dating the family enemy?

Sounds like we’re setting up for a season full of OMFG!

In case you’ve just begun watching (in which case you have got to go back and rent the first two seasons so you don’t miss out on a crucial aspect of pop culture), here’s a quick rundown of life on the Upper East Side to catch you up: Summer in the Hamptons is over and the Humphrey family has moved from their loft in Brooklyn to the Lily Van der Woodsen palace of luxury. Serena has just returned from a summer of trying to get her father’s attention, a feat that apparently is only possible by showing her face (and her chest) in every magazine east of New York City. After a summer spent sexing the gorgeous Carter Basin and trying to find Daddy Dearest, Serena is back in New York keeping more secrets and trying to keep Carter from spilling the beans.

Of course, the game where Chuck pretends to cheat on Blair with some blonde bimbo scared us all sh*tless. After last season’s cry-worthy finale, no one is ready for Chuck Bass to return to his bad boy ways. While we all get a kick out of Blair putting a dumb blonde in her place, soon the games end and when the former playboy starts using phrases like “I’m not Chuck Bass without you” and “Let’s stay in tonight.” It’s impossible not to swoon. I know I’m not the only one hoping that two totally messed up people can make love work out in the real world.

Storyline I’m most looking forward to for this season: Dan and Lily’s supposedly dead son is in New York, in possession of his birth certificate, and biding his time until he reveals his true identity. Meanwhile, he’s spending his time cozying up to Vanessa, who is never going to forgive this boy when she finds out that he is Dan Humphrey’s half brother. I mean, can the girl get any more tangled in that family’s drama? Read More »

Welcome freakin’ back, Gossip Girl! I officially screamed at my television last night. Bring on the juicy.

Let me say this: I continue to have a bitter distaste for Dan, and Chuck remains (by far) my total fave. AND Lily gained some cool points tonight too. If you missed it, stop reading now, turn on your DVR, and watch. And if you watched, feel free to comment on your favorite part of last night’s stellar ep.

The show started with the usual Yale bullsh*t. Blah blah blah, aren’t they in yet, already? No, they aren’t. And there’s a certain new, young, hot teacher who is going to rock everyone’s world. Anybody else think it’s weird that Serena instantly becomes her new Shakespeare teacher’s bff? I mean, I had teachers I was tight with, but not to this degree. And, a note to Ms. Carr, never tell your students it’s your first salaried gig. That’s just asking for it.

As the Yale-shizz unravels, Serena laments to Dan that she is afraid that she’ll get into Yale, and Blair won’t. Presumptuous? Or foreshadowing?

This week’s weekly party is the opera gala. Seriously? That’s not nearly as exciting as the white party. But I suppose it’ll do, since Jack has already thrown Chuck’s dead father into the mix. We all know that Chuck was had by Jack last week, but is he going to take that? Hell. No.  And you gotta love Lily in this ep for making it happen. Read More »

Well, technically, just because Dan and Serena share a sibling, it doesn’t mean that they share DNA. But the true winning line from tonight’s GG episode, “Share me those expressive eyebrows. I can’t wait ’til you get Botox,” was too long to fit in this column’s title.

The mysterious half-brother brought the cast on quite the roller-coaster this week, and it seems that Gossip Girl has achieved Mafia status, as she has the power to order a “hit” on Dan Humphrey. Instead of sleeping with the fishes, however, Dan merely has to deal with the humiliation of the entire school learning about his hankering for tuna. Meh.

As usual, the Bass family stole the show tonight, and Uncle Jack is truly an evil, despicable human being. Since Blair’s had a change of heart, what with coddling the grieving Chuckster and all, we need a new villain that we absolutely love to hate, and Jack sure makes a splash after, what? Two episodes?

Not only does Old Man River have a giant boner for the totally illegal Blair (everyone who commented on the ‘New Years’ references last week wins ten points), but he’s also lusting for a stake in Bass Enterprises, which, much to everyone’s surprise, has just been left to Chuck Bass. What? These minors can drink their faces off, ride around in limos, globetrot for the weekend, but they can’t run billion-dollar companies? Read More »

Last night’s long-anticipated return of Gossip Girl featured a new year, new relationships, new secrets, and an unusually large amount of comic relief.

Jenny’s resolution, apparently, was to finish high school…but she’s dropped the “Little J” business and makes it her goal to save Nelly from Blair’s Queen Bee squad. She recruits Eric and Nelly to take over the “cool” table, and, since Blair’s having a Bass-induced breakdown, J manages to win the upper hand. Ironically, when Nelly realizes that Jenny has no hope of stealing Blair’s crown, she runs back to the popular kids. Ha, ha, ha. What satire!

Meanwhile, the writers took advantage of GG’s break to make a clean break from Serena’s art-beau, Aaron, who doesn’t even get a sappy break-up scene. (Thank God.) Instead, it seems that S. just flat out left him in Buenos Aires when she realized that Lily and Rufus weren’t shacking up and that she could bang Dan without feeling incestuous. Rufus, of course, is less than happy to find Serena and Dan blissfully happy. Remember last month’s cliffhanger? “Was it a boy or a girl?” We find out that it was a boy, and that Lily put him up for adoption and relinquished her rights to ever search for him, much to Rufus’s dismay.

Chuck, still wallowing in the aftermath of his father’s untimely death, has become a zombie that not even Blair can seem to crack. So, he brings a joint to school and breaks the news to Dan that he has an illegitimate half-brother out there somewhere. Blair remains faithful to her shell of a man-crush, and even tries to act as his guardian when he’s summoned to the office for smoking hash in the hallways (how cute), but then the mysterious new character, Uncle Jack, interrupts and takes responsibility. What does Jack have up his sleeve? Read More »

Okay, every other time I’ve written about screaming at the TV during Gossip Girl is officially taken back. Because tonight was the night for throwing sh*t in the living room during obsessive fits of GG excitement.Warning to fans who missed the episode (and if you did, I hope you had a good excuse – like finding Chace Crawford naked in your dorm after class or something): there will be spoilers in about two seconds. Major. Spoilers.

Before I get to the real juice, can I just ask if anyone else noticed the “dress” Serena wore to Eleanor and Cyrus’ wedding? Girlfriend needed some pants. Or at least the rest of her skirt.

Yes, tonight was a night of new beginnings in the wake of the death of Bart Bass. The funeral prompted Cyrus to ask Eleanor to get hitched ASAP. It prompted Lily and Rufus to plan to admit their love, and for Serena to encourage Lily to run off with Rufus. And it prompted Serena to run off to Buenos Aires with Aaron. And Aaron to tell S. that he’s falling in love with her, which might have been more romantic if it didn’t immediately follow his suggestion that their first time together be in the airplane bathroom. Read More »

Gossip Girl keeps us on our toes…and we love it!

Ever wonder what Santa Clause’s inbox looks like?

The cutest thing about this Christmas card is the dog…yikes!

Imagine smelling a fragrance via your compooper!!

Adorable ideas for winter dates with your hottie…

Gifts that keep on givin’!

This woman sets back feminism about..forever, but I feel bad.

Tina Fey lookin’ mighty fine (and patriotic) on the cover of Vanity Fair…

Hugh Jackman at gay clubs?! WHAT?!

Just because we like seeing people fall…

Miranda Kerr..we hate her cuz she’s beautiful AND dating Orlando Bloom!

Donatella Versace is always entertaining…cuz she looks like a man.

Last night’s GG episode was pretty freaking juicy. Within the first 30-seconds, we knew what party (the Senior Snowball) would be the scene of all of the cut-throat drama, and the snowball just kept rolling from there.Here’s the rundown (of the first 5 minutes):

Blair doesn’t know who to bring the Snowball, Serena meets Aaron’s ex-slash-Dan’s-instant-Snowball-date (who wants to bang Dan… go figure), and Vanessa is acting shady… could it be because after stealing Nate’s letter to Jenny, she’s been creeping with Sexkitten Archibald? After that spiel to Jenny about friendship coming first? Oh, snap. You know Gossip Girl is going to spill that news. Read More »

Did anyone else feel like their world turned upside-down last night, what with NO GOSSIP GIRL ep on the CW? I personally didn’t know what to do with myself, so I worked off my weekly-dose-of-Chace-Crawford- cravings on the elliptical for an hour. Maybe when the season ends, I too can have a Blake Lively body. Yeah right.

Since, sadly, there was no new episode to recap last night, I thought I’d do a brief refresher on what has unraveled so far this season. Feel free to post your fave GG moments of the year below, since there is simply too much for me to fit into one little post!

Nate Archibald

Early season partner: Catherine, the married cougar who turned out to be a Duchess. Nate walked the fine line between “partner” and “prostitute” with Catherine, after Catherine paid off some of Nate’s family’s debt in order to keep her sexy young stallion around.

Mid-season partner: Well… early-mid-season, Nate had a mini-fling with Vanessa, until Catherine scared V off. Then there was the hot Yale girl, who Nate posed as none other than Dan Humphrey for, in order to get into her lofted bed. Read More »