A presentation by the American Psychological Association on college drinking recently released some statistics that may make you spit our your beer: 1. College students intend to drink to get drunk, and 2. College students use alcohol as an excuse for hooking up. Yeah. When I said you were going to spit out your beer, I meant because you’d be laughing with me.

If you ask any frat boy at a party he’d probably have told you these shocking findings, while saving money on the research. He might also then go and give one of his bros a big hug, saying “I love you man,” behaviour if questioned on, he would likely blame on the alcohol. Because, as Jamie Foxx has figured out, it’s pretty easy to blame it on the alcohol. Which college students inevitably do. So, in case the American Psychological Association wants to save some money next time, here’s eight more things college students blame on the alcohol.

initiating the gallery...

Despite having 5 top-ten hits in one year, people constantly hate on pop singer Ke$ha. I hear it all the time: “Ke$ha is awful,” “She’s so gross!” and of course, “What is wrong with that slutty girl?”

While I can understand why some people don’t stand behind her gold tooth, nose ring, obsession with body paint, catchy techno pop beats, and copious amounts of glitter references in her songs, I can’t understand how people (especially college girls) don’t want to dance along with her.

I mean, Ke$ha is the ultimate college girl!

Think about it. Her songs are no different than average college life on a Saturday night, yet people are constantly “offended” or “shocked” by what she sings about. What, you can’t handle a little truth? A look in the mirror? Look past the nappy hair, the record deal, and the dollar sign in her name and Ke$ha is just like you and I.

And if you don’t see that, I’ll break it all down for ya…Ke$ha style.

In her third single, “Take It Off,” Ke$ha sings:

“There’s a place downtown, where the freaks all come around/ It’s a hole in the wall/ It’s a dirty free for all.” (Editor’s Note: Is it stuck in your head yet??)

Yeah, and that place is probably a beer soaked fraternity basement or an off-campus party house that has no toilet paper in a bathroom that doesn’t lock. And those freaks are your classmates intoxicated on jungle juice and Natty light, dressed up in Christmas sweaters, Halloween costumes, togas, spandex, and God knows what else depending on the occasion or party theme.

“And now we lookin’ like pimps in my gold Trans-Am / Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag / Got my drunk text on/ I’ll regret it in the morning.”

So maybe no one you know has a Trans-Am, but you definitely know some girl (or you are that girl) with a Dasani bottle full of vodka/tequila/rum/whiskey (or some really disgusting combo of the 4). If you aren’t the girl with the bottle, you are defintely one of the many girls drinking out of said bottle (remember how you got Mono your freshman year?) until you get your own Solo cup of booze in your hand. Oh, and don’t even act like you’ve never drunk texted or drunk dialed your ex-boyfriend, his mom (I know someone who did this — twice), your high school frenemies, and pretty much every other person you’ve ever met. If it happens to Ke$ha, it’s probably happened to you.

But wait, there’s more!

When Ke$ha first came out with her song “Tik Tok,” I constantly heard people say “This girl is crazy.” Pssh … this song is just your average Saturday morning (morning meaning sometime after 1pm considering you were up till 3am the night before) pre-game anthem. Not only does she tell you what it’s like to wake up the next morning (like P-Diddy, of course), but she tells you what to expect for that night (“boys blowing up our phones” and “pulling up to parties, trying to get a little bit tipsy”).  Consider Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” to be an education in the ways of the college party world:

“And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got / But we kick ‘em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger/ I’m talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk/ Boys tryin’ to touch my junk, junk/ Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk”

While it’s doubtful that most girls are looking for a Mick Jagger type to hook up with, Ke$ha knows what’s up when it’s time to get rid of those guys that don’t stand a chance but won’t leave you alone. You know, the ones that are too drunk, too gross (probably wearing oversized t-shirts), and grinding on you like you’re a stripper pole. But you don’t let that stop you. Nothing will keep you from getting your party on.

Ok, well … maybe a few things will stop you from getting your party on. Like your best friend puking on the dance floor, your ex-boyfriend chasing you around trying to talk to you, and of course, campus safety or the police showing up. “We go until they kick us out or the police shut us down.” So true, girl … so true.

And last but not least, it’s hard to ignore Ke$ha’s latest song “We R Who We R,” the ultimate college girl dance anthem:

“Tonight we’re going hard/ Just like the world is ours/ We’re tearin’ it apart/ You know we’re superstars!/ We are who we are/ We’re dancing like we’re dumb/ Our bodies go numb / We’ll be forever young!”

Nothing is better than dancing alone, dancing with your best friends, dancing with your boyfriend, and being all dressed up (possibly with glitter on your eyes) and feeling like nothing else matters except having fun. Even though we might not all have “Jesus on our necklace” like Ke$ha does, we are no different when we’re dancing on table tops, throwing beer pong balls across the room, and celebrating yet another Friday night — it’s just who we are!

Whether you think Ke$ha needs a bath or not, it doesn’t matter.  These songs are your weekend soundtrack, your dance floor anthems. Ke$ha’s wardrobe is what you wear on your birthday to the club. Her glitter, ripped up stockings, and attitude are you and your best friends at a Girl Talk concert on a Friday night. She is you with your head in the toilet after too many jello shots. Ke$ha is that girl toilet papering her ex-boyfriend’s car while drunk texting his best friend.

Even though Ke$ha may be a glittery gimmick and even though she never even went to college, I can’t help but wish she was the girl next door in my dorm. Oh wait, she was.

Whether you’re buying yourself a post-exam present or looking to put something on your list for Santa (with exact color, size and style….you don’t want him to get it wrong, do you?) boots should be high on your list. Temperatures are dropping, the snow is starting to fall and your toes are starting to get cold. Really, boots are a present for your feet, and after a semester of torturing them in communal showers and dancing the night away in high heels, it’s really the least you can do.

If you don’t already have a pair of boots – or yours are long overdue for a replacement – you should look at investing in a pair this season. And yes, I said investing. These babies aren’t always cheap, but can you really put a price on having 10 fully functional toes? Well, as functional as toes really are….

There are boots for all purposes and whether you’re trekking through snow to get to class, looking for something a little warmer than flats for a night out, or some combination of the two, there’s a pair out there for you. They’re great to slip on with a pair of jeans for class (duh), they’re great with a pair of leg warmers for a little extra toastiness on a busy day, and they look HOT with everything from the skinniest jeans to the miniest of skirts (yes, even rain boots!).

Here are 15 pairs I’m totally digging right now to get you started on your shopping.

Since most of us won't get near those nasty tubs in the communal bathroom, I've got a few better ideas for relaxation...

October is a busy month. Between midterms and registration, and finding the perfect Halloween costume, things can get pretty crazy there for a while. But it’s important to remember to take a step back from it all for a while. Relax. Enjoy the little things. Relieve some stress.

Here’s how…

10. Indulge in some junk food. This probably isn’t the best advice, since eating your feelings isn’t exactly healthy, but chocolate cures all. At least for a little while. So just indulge for a little bit. Something sweet, or something salty, or something sweet and salty (chocolate covered pretzels…mmm…). Just a little pick me up. Besides, isn’t dark chocolate good for you anyway?

9. Dance it out. Yes, I am totally ripping off Grey’s Anatomy here, but the “twisted sisters” know what they’re talking about.  Dancing is an excellent stress reliever and you don’t even have to have any rhythm whatsoever. (Trust me. I would know.) Just enjoy yourself. And relax.

8. Shop. “You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well that’s what it’s like when I see a store. Only it’s better.”  Oh Becky Bloomwood, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

7. Get that heart rate up. “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” –Elle Woods. (I apologize for that one but Legally Blonde was on WeTV this week.)

6. Organize and categorize. Maybe it’s just me but I’ve always found the process of putting things in order to be extremely calming. Freaking out about a big test? Make a study schedule. Nervous about a date? Plan the perfect outfit. Once you know exactly what you’re doing it will be a lot easier to get it done.

5. Get in some quality BFF time. Whether you and your friends are staying in with pizza, beer, and bad TV, or heading out in heels, a good old fashioned girls night cures all. Who cares about what’s happening next week when you’re having the time of your life right now? Let loose. Have some fun. Let your friends distract you. Nothing will seem as bad the next day (except maybe that hangover…).

4. Curl up in bed and watch a movie. Or you know, have a Gossip Girl marathon. The point is that losing yourself in someone else’s drama will distract you from your own. Whatever you have going on won’t seem nearly as terrible after you’ve seen Jenny Humphrey’s eye makeup.

3. Laugh. Search some YouTube videos. Visits Texts from Last Night. Call up your funniest friend. Look at last weekend’s Facebook pictures. Just let off some steam and enjoy some absurdity.

2. Catch up with CollegeCandy. You need some downtime to just breathe and be? Put on your favorite pair of sweats, get comfy, grab your laptop and start reading. Want to feel inspired? Check out this article. Or maybe you need a good laugh? Morning after stories will do that for you.  Or just scroll through the feed and see what you missed.

1. Make a list. Like I said when I took on this column, list making is my life. It keeps your organized. It makes you feel like you have some semblance of control of everything going on around you. It gives you a focus for just a little while. It makes you feel good when you get to cross something off.  And the results are always entertaining.

How about it, ladies? Has this week been as stressful for you as it has for me? What do you do to let off some steam? Let me know in the comments below!

Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. This month we’re following Norah on her quest to bring exercise into her life. Last week she climbed aboard the elliptical, what’s she up to now?

At some point this week, exercise stopped being something I had to do and started being something I wanted to do. I’m honestly not sure what changed. Maybe it was the physical pain and exhaustion I felt after Irish dancing at a pre-St. Patrick’s Day event last weekend. And then watching all my old friends performing on St. Patrick’s Day, so full of energy, making it all look so easy.

I guess I liked to think that at any time, I could just get right back into Irish dancing, that it would be just like riding a bike. But it was so much more difficult than I ever remembered.  I was frustrated with myself for letting my laziness cancel out the years of strength and endurance I built up through dancing. Whatever the cause of this new-found motivation, though, I knew I needed to take advantage of it.

The weather here has been beautiful, and Spring Break gave me a little more free time than I have back at school. So I set my sights on venturing into the great outdoors this week. Now, here’s a confession: I love Rollerblading. I know Rollerblading is something that probably should have stayed in the ’90s, but for someone who can’t run, Rollerblading gives me the chance to cover a bit of ground outside in a way that doesn’t leave me clutching my sides in pain. So on Thursday afternoon, I strapped on my Rollerblades and set out into the crisp air.

Last week I wrote about my struggles on the elliptical–15 minutes left me tired and bored. Rollerblading was completely different. It was anything but boring. I bladed through a few parks, through some new housing developments, explored my hometown a little bit. Now, my hometown is relatively small, but I actually got lost in one of the developments while I was out there doin’ my thing. And that’s when I realized the main benefit of Rollerblading (or running or walking or biking, I suppose): you can’t just stop. For someone who tends to give up a little too early during exercise, the added challenge of having to make it back home was just what I needed. I ended up Rollerblading for AN HOUR–by far the longest period of continuous exercise I’ve had in probably four years.

And if that’s not enough to motivate me, I bought my first sports bra! I know it’s ridiculous that I didn’t have one, but whatever. I don’t buy new clothes that often–really only a couple times a year–and so it always feels like a bit of a treat. So I’m going to set specific goals for myself (go to Pilates twice a week for a month, etc.) and then reward myself with a pair of cute yoga pants or another new sports bra. If you’re noticing a trend here, yes, I’m excessively motivated by physical rewards. What can I say? Last week’s Shamrock Shake was delicious.

Right now there’s this guy I kind of have a crush on but I have no idea what he’s thinking so I’m not sure what to do. My sorority and his fraternity always have mixers together, and no matter whom our respective dates are we always end up dancing together in the end. At our last function we hooked up and exchanged numbers, but then, thanks to Swine Flu and a class field trip (yeah, we still have those), I couldn’t see him for weeks. We’ve been doin’ a bit of flirxting (that’s text flirting…start using it) but nothing real has happened so far. I know some people think ladies should suck it up and make a move, but I tend to hang out in the guys-always-make-the-first-move corner.

And he’s not making one. Should I?
I’m torn.

Love It:
If I do ask him out on a date and he says yes, then that would be a definite step in the right direction and I would know for certain that he was crushin’ on me too. And if says no, then at least I know and can move on. Because right now I’m totally confused and stuck in the middle (and over-analyzing his every text), and that’s never a good feeling.

I’ve heard some guys even like when girls make the first move, because it shows that they’re interested and have the confidence to show their true feelings. I don’t know how many guys this applies to, but it would be great if they could tell us if they liked it or not. That might be wishing for too much though.

Loathe It:
If I don’t do anything, then I’m just like any other girl. But that may be a good thing too, because I don’t want to seem too forward or too aggressive, because those traits are even worse than being too shy. I’ve never made the first move in the past, so I’m used to that road and am comfortable taking it. I like this way better because it forces the guy to take action and makes them show you how they feel so you know if they feel the same way or not.

And then there’s the whole “Not making an ass of myself,” which is always good. The last thing I want is to tell this guy that I wanna makeout some more and have him tell me he’s actually semi-dating some other girl.

So what do you think? Would you ever make the first move? Is it worth it?

I’m a stripper.

Well, not really, but I have done a good number of amateur nights. I’ve danced on stage naked for strangers, swung around the pole, and even given private dances. I was incredibly nervous my first time, but realized quickly that it was EASY and exhilarating.

I thought this week I would share some tips with you guys on how to give the perfect striptease – I promise it’s easier than you think! Even more, it’s fun and definitely something new and exciting for you and your partner to share. He’ll love seeing you in a sexy new light and you’ll love the power you have to turn him to putty in your hands.

Pick Music Your Comfortable With
Pick a song you know and make sure it’s something you’re comfortable moving to. You don’t have to be a good dancer to give a good strip tease, you just have to be comfortably with whatever you’re doing. If you’re unsure of  your dance moves, pick something slow. If you love to bump and grind, pick something with a faster pace. The song choice doesn’t matter; it’s how you move with it that does.

Take Your Time
The most important component of a strip-tease is the stripping; once all your clothes are off you’re just dancing around naked (your boyfriend will probably love it, but you’ll feel awkward). Take your time removing each item, and wear clothes with buttons or zippers that you can undo slowly…and without awkwardly pulling them over your head.

Be Sensual
Like I said before, you don’t have to be a good dancer to give a good strip tease. Move slowly and sensually. It’s corny but I have to say it anyway: make love to the music. Look like YOU’RE the one getting sexual pleasure from the dance, not whoever is watching you.

Be Interactive
Make eye contact. Give a sexy smile. Play with your partner’s hair or clothing. Sit in their lap. Basically, make your audience part of the experience.

Have Fun
One night I was on stage swinging my legs around and my shoe flung off. Mortifying, right? I kept my cool and laughed it off, joked about it to the few guys who saw, and ended up making even more tips. I assume most of you will probably be dancing for a special someone rather than a group a strangers, so it should be even easier to laugh off any act of clumsiness.

Keep Clean
Believe it or not, the shoe incident wasn’t the most embarrassing stripping experience I’ve ever had. Once I was on stage and realized I had bits of toilet paper stuck in my naughty-bits. I was MORTIFIED and still had to finish my set. Since then I’ve never gone on stage before examining the area thoroughly and I suggest you do the same.

Have a Drink
It’s common knowledge that you feel a little less inhibited when there’s some liquid courage in your system. If you’re extremely nervous or uncomfortable, have a drink before your man arrives. But only a drink; getting woozy and face-planting between his legs isn’t the sexiest part of a striptease.

There you have it, a few simple steps to the perfect striptease. And who knows, if you enjoy it maybe I’ll see you at amateur night some time!

Hi sweetie. Long time no see. I take that back. I saw you last Friday. Same place, same hazy look in your eyes, different black dress that falls down to expose your bra. This one doesn’t have vomit on it… yet! Congratulations.

As much as going out and drinking in college is an integral part of your experience, I don’t think you serenading a fraternity with “Like a Virgin” into your half-empty Smirnoff handle (your makeshift microphone) while balancing on a coffee table is necessarily the right way to spend your Tuesday night.

You were very stylish at the beginning of the night. Your dress hung perfectly, eyelashes were curled, hair was straightened, heels were spotless and your jewelry matched. However, after those three, four or five shots of Patron? That sexy little dress you picked up at the Saks sale is riding up and showing off your embarrassing leopard print boy shorts. The mascara you so diligently applied is now running down your face after your tearful breakdown about how much you “love everyone sooooo much” and “like, can’t wait to have you all as my bridesmaids.” You seem to have more hair in your face than in your ponytail and one of your high heels is nowhere to be found. Check yourself, honey.

Is that pimply beast of a guy you’re making out with in front of everyone your boyfriend? Hope not, because you just made out with his best friend four minutes ago when you assaulted him against the beer pong table. Yes, beer pong winner is impressive, but it’s not like he just saved a child from a fire. Speaking of, can we talk about your beer pong game? It’s called beer pong for a reason. Not “mass amounts of vodka and a splash of cranberry” pong. When you’ve reached that point where hard liquor in the beer pong cups seems like a good idea, you’ve gone too far.

No, no one wants to split a supreme pizza with you, go to the strip club “just for fun,” drunk dial the Dean’s office or add a rule in any drinking game that involves getting naked. Drunk girl, it’s the middle of the week and don’t you have a final tomorrow? And stop yelling at the poor guy who made your drink – there is plenty of vodka in there and not his fault that you just can’t TASTE it anymore.

I love you, drunk girl. Because, sometimes, I am you. But even when I’m not, I still adore you because I have a great time making fun of you and drawing penises all over you when you pass out on the floor of some random living room amidst a Tila Tequila marathon.

XOXO,
Melanie

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

We’ve all seen how boys act when they want to make out with you at a club. First, they come up behind you and begin to dance. Maybe you introduce yourselves, maybe you don’t. If they are a good dancer, you continue dancing, and if they suck, you text your friend that you have to go to the bathroom and she comes and pretends that she has to use the facilities at that exact second.

However, if you have decided that this guy is worth your dancing time, about five-ten minutes into the encounter (2-4 songs) he will likely turn you around so that it is only natural that your faces are near each other, therefore giving him the opportunity to make out with you.

One of my first weekends of college, this guy came up to dance behind me at a party. After getting the thumbs up from my friend across the dance floor, we proceeded to dance (or tried to between the other 200 people on the floor). At the exact right moment, about 3 songs into our encounter, he turned me around to hook up with him. However, instead of turning me around by my shoulder like I assumed he meant to, his drunken self turned me around to him by the eye.

Yes, the eye.

And he didn’t just brush my baby blue – he literally grabbed it, forcing my -10.0 contact fall out of its home. (For those of you with perfect vision, I qualify as legally blind without any help.) My contact then proceeded to drop to the floor where drunk sweaty people coming in from the rain (yes, it was raining) had been stepping all night.

Instead of swaying back and forth with this hottie’s tongue in my mouth, then, I was on my hands and knees in a mini skirt (giving that boy quite a show) patting down the sticky floor while avoiding the sharp heels of drunk girls dancing around me. And, convinced that I would be blind for life, I was sobbing.

I dragged the boy to the floor, further convincing him of the fact that he had found the psycho freshman girl of the new class. While he pondered ways to avoid the situation, I was trying to figure out how I was going to half-blindly find a dorm that I couldn’t find in the daylight.

I ultimately found the contact and, convinced I needed it to make it home alive, rinsed it off and stuck it back in my eye. Then ran home, threw it out and stood with my eyes open in the shower for 10 minutes.

I never did get to make out with that guy. Nor did I ever see him again. Too bad, too; despite his awful hand/eye coordination, the guy was hot. At least I think he was. I only had one eye.

I watch reality TV like it’s my j-o-b. If there is an unscripted show on TV (or sorta unscripted, a la MTV), I’ll watch it. And DVR it. And talk about it at length with my friends like these people are our friends.

Yes, even “Groomer Has It.” I have a problem.

But would I ever be on a reality show? Hell to the no. As fun as potentially melting down in front of millions of people at home sounds, I’d much rather be the one on my couch – bowl of brownie batter in hand – than the one being cut, manipulated and edited into some freak show for America’s enjoyment. And there are way too many things that I do on a daily basis that I would never (ever, ever, ever) want caught on camera.

Like the fact that I make brownie batter and eat it without cooking it. With my fingers. Or the awful farts I get after eating too much brownie batter. (Seriously, I don’t even want to witness that….it’s really the last thing America needs to watch.)

This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share the things they do that they’d rather not have broadcast nationwide. Their secret alone moments. What are yours?

Kiki – University of Missouri: I definitely change my outfit at least nine times a day, sucking it in and checking myself out in our full length mirror every time. The costume changes are prompted by library runs, laundry duty, gym visits, basically any activity outside my dorm room with the potential for human interaction

Lauren – University of Michigan: No one – besides the drunk people in the dark, crowded bar – needs to see me doin’ my thing with some cutie in the corner. I know it’s not pretty.

Thu – USC: Sitting on the couch with a spoon in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other… that’s now half empty.

Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: I burp like none other

Ricki – University of Michigan: When I’m bored I try on outfits and stare at myself in the mirror even
if it’s a Wednesday afternoon and I have nowhere to go.

Liza M – Minnesota: The ridiculous amount of time I spend online…wasting time….when I should be studying. I’d be boring!

Carrie – Duke: Bringing my magazine (or, uh laptop) into the bathroom with me… (TMI?)

Erica – Kent State: Those times when I’m alone in my car for long distances… and trying to rap to some gangsta music (and failing miserably!).

Kim – University of Delaware: Analyzing texts from guys and asking for advice on how to respond. “Should I use ‘dot dot dot’ or does that sound too promiscuous. Ok, so just a question mark? And why did he say ‘you GUYS’ and not just ‘you’???”

John – UConn: When I’m alone, I swear at my own body. “Oh, gross, what is this? Phlegm? More phlegm? Are you f***ing kidding me? F*** you and f*** phlegm!”

Sara C – Fordham: I sample my sister’s makeup because she has way more than I do, but she’s very finicky about sharing. Sorry, sis.

K – GWU: I would never, ever want my getting ready/dancing sesh’s caught on camera – while I may feel like I am a Pussycat Doll, I am most certainly not.

Mechelle – Florida State: I will spend literally an hour straightening my hair. My boyfriend always makes fun of me. To make matters worse, I live in Florida and have to do it a couple times a day.

Jill – University of Wisconsin: Where do I start? Dancing around my apartment in just a bra & underwear; eating ice cream on my couch straight out of the carton – in just a bra & underwear; singing with my hairbrush – in just a bra & underwear. Any shot of me at ALL in just a bra & underwear.

Caitlin – University of Alabama: I wouldn’t want to be caught watching the-N shows i.e. Degrassi, The Best Years, etc.  Totally lame, and especially while eating out of the ice cream carton while crying because Sam and Rich should be together.  Yeah I wouldn’t want to show that.

Katie – Michigan State University: If someone caught me on camera while I was dancing like an idiot to crappy trance music in my pajamas and checking myself out in the mirror like I’m some sort of sexy (in between spoonfuls of peanut butter, of course) I would pretty much die.

Carly – Grinnell: I smash walnuts with my teeth rather than my food processor before putting them in recipes. Usually I am the only one eating the final product . . . usually.

Maddie – Tufts: My obsession with eating condiments plain (such as pesto, caesar dressing, and ketchup…)

Sarabeth – University of Texas: When I get bored, I waggle my butt while laying on my bed….just because.

Kari – FSU: Definitely not all the goofy voices/faces/songs that I make or sing when I’m alone with my boyfriend.

Kelly – Simmons University: When I get frustrated, I tend to yell at inanimate objects.

Cristina – Michigan State: I would definitely not want cameras catching me constantly watching makeup tutorials on YouTube.  It’s not anything creepy or embarrassing, but I’m subscribed to about 30 people who literally talk about just makeup.  I need a few superficial moments daily.