Nice guys think they finish last. Assholes think they finish first. As Dane Cook would put it, “What about the whole middle ground here where YOU’RE AN IDIOT!?“

There’s more to it than good guys and bad guys. I’m sick of hearing nice guys complain that so many of us girls choose to date jerks. Screw that. It’s just that the nice guys, the REALLY nice ones, are disguised. “Nice Guys” are the ones hovering over your desk at work, telling you:

“You know, I’M A NICE GUY, but you girls only like dirtballs.” Read More »

• Roddick fans are none to happy about Andy’s new gal pal.

• Dane Cook was NOT funny for 7 hours straight.

• Shoulder pads are back with a vengeance. Say it ain’t so.

• Liposuction is no longer dumb.

• Britney Spears is a good mother.

• 2 Girls 1 Cup, 1 Wikipedia Entry.

Back in the Ye Olde Tinseltown days, most of the top-earning stars were stellar actors, singers and dancers, with none of the skills mentioned being a crutch to support a lack of talent.

Celebrities were, for the most part, blue-collar workers for the public, earning their fame by signing on to numerous films at once, rigorously training and studying various fields in the name of entertainment.

Fast forward 30-odd years and Flavor of Love‘s New York is famous for being a outspoken bitch slathered in pancake makeup; Paris Hilton puts out an perfume ’cause, uh, why not; Sanjaya Malakar is praised for his “great spirit” while butchering the simplest of songs; Dane Cook sells out Stadiums with arm-farts and aimless crowd whooping.

The worst of it? These hacks not only suck at their day jobs: they find it necessary to plague other fields of entertainment by becoming entrepreneurs. Read More »

Coming October 26th is Dan in Real Life, starring Steve Carrell and…Dane Cook. Awesome!

I remember when Dane Cook was funny.

Back in my freshman days of college, me and my best friend would get a bottle of cheap wine, lock ourselves in her dorm room, play endless snippets of Dane’s authentic stuff and giggle obnoxiously until we went out to the parties, quoting the entire thing.

The Burger King bit was our personal fave. That was good stuff!

But then, every college student and their mother caught on to Dane, he sold out, started making crap movies with crap “actresses”, and, suddenly, his comedy isn’t so funny anymore. Pretty ironic that a guy who once made college students laugh so hard is now being laughed at by college students.

It gets worse. MUCH WORSE. Dane is now trying his Superfingered-hand at bad emo music. Yep. He just released a sh*t-tastic song that everyone is pointing and laughing at him over, called “Forward” and you can listen to it here.

Check out the sick guitar solo, amazing backup vocals and thought-provoking lyrics, such as:

“Pushing from within, everything’s not fine. Tonight I’m gonna take back what’s mine.” Read More »

John Mayer has an amazing voice, rad guitar skills, and is apparently smarter than we thought, due to his recent dumping of a blond publicity stunt named Jessica Simpson. But one thing the boy may want to leave to the professionals? Stand-up.

Last week, Johnny Boy performed a little impromptu comedy routine at New York’s Comedy Cellar, most of which was caught and posted on YouTube. The little bit I was able to watch included a bit about Carrie Underwood’s newest song and John’s inclination to wear tight clothes (why he’s broadcasting this fact is beyond me, but hey, just because I have a rabid distaste for hipster fashion doesn’t mean the rest of the world does). Read More »