As the year comes to a close, it’s time to find out just who made the biggest impression over the past 12 months in the world of celebrities. With her contributions to many charities, a hit album and an open voice about her own personal struggles, Celebuzz named Demi Lovato the 2011 Woman of the Year. But we here at CollegeCandy have a bone to pick with this. Is she really a “woman”? She’s 19 and seems to still be going through the transition phase that many of us college girls are going through. Do you ladies feel like “women” yet? Because I sure don’t.  In the words of Ms. Spears, Demi is “not a girl, not yet a woman.”

So I’ve compiled a list of some other women who have done a super job of being themselves this year and have left an imprint on all of our hearts. I now present to you 10 women who I think should be named the 2011 Woman of the Year. I hope my sarcasm is apparent, I laid it on pretty thick. Read More »

And the future of New Jersey housewife/sex tape star/crazy ass, Danielle Staub? Well, this isn’t surprising at all.

Marc Jacobs does back-to-school.

Who are the worst celebrity role models?

Uh oh. Is Danielle Staub getting her own show?

When to intercept a friend’s drunken hook-up.

Dog’s doing funny things. Because it’s Wednesday.

Facing social pressures in college.

7 ways to cook without a stove

50 Cent has a sense of humor?

So you’re dating an overly emotional guy…

One night stands CAN lead to relationships

Lady Gaga’s new outfit is meaty. Literally.

Why Danielle is really leaving the Housewives

How to pull off colorful tights

A little 90210 revenge

Guess who decided to up and pull a diva move?  No, Mariah Carey isn’t castrating an intern for bringing her flat water instead of sparking (though, probably she is).  It’s those darn Jersey Shore kids!  Rumor has it that before the second season has even premiered, they’re fighting for salary raises, refusing to do a third season unless their demands are met.  That name brand hair gel must really cost a lot.

Well you know what?  I don’t think MTV should give in to the whims of these petulant guidos and guidettes.  I mean, why are they even famous in the first place?  It’s time to get the real stars “down the shore”.  Bring in the spray tan guns, I’ve got some replacements!

Pam Anderson as JWOWW

This would work for two really big reasons.  No, not those reasons.  First, both Pam and J are tough as nails.  Would you want to run into either of them in a dark alley or under the boardwalk?  These biatches would grab you by the extensions like your head was the last sparkle tee at a Bebe sale.  Second, I’m pretty sure they’re the only two women on the planet who think they’d make good fashion designers.  Yes, Pammy and Ms.Woww both have clothing lines.

Brody Jenner as Vinny

“Ma, my chicken parm needs cuttin’!  And bring me a little more ziti!”  Switching from one mama’s boy to another, Brody wouldn’t skip a beat subbing in for Vinny.  They’re both funny, charismatic, and popular with the ladies.  Plus, maybe it’s just me, but I think the Bro is a significant visual upgrade.

Foxy Cleopatra as Snooki

Yes, that’s right.  Nicole Richie’s beloved Pomeranian, Foxy Cleopatra, would make the absolute perfect Snooki replacement.  Not only could MTV get her in on a lower pay grade, but I bet she’d be loyal as a dog to the show.  It would be remiss to hire someone who wasn’t equally as orange-tinted and poof-y as the original star.

Lou Ferrigno as Ronnie

They’re both huge.  The similarities really stop there, but there’s not much else to work with.

Danielle Staub as Angelina

Okay, tell me Danielle wouldn’t give her left boob implant to be a twenty-something again living it up down the shore with an entourage of juiceheads.  And Angelina, who goes by “Jolie”, lives in an alternate reality, much like the most-loathed Housewife of NJ.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re the same home-wrecking, fame-whoring person.

Kristen Stewart as Sammi

Aww, but Sammi’s just a sweetheart, right?  Wrong!  She’s a mean, unsmiling little brat just like K-Stew.  The only time you’ll notice the switch is when Kristen’s on the beach slathered in SPF 150 hiding under an umbrella in long sleeves.  Don’t want to lose that deathly pallor.

Doug Reinhardt as Mike “The Situation”

They both really, really like themselves.  Seriously, why else would they each need their own “official” website?  Ooh, look: Doug describes himself as an “athlete and entrepreneur” while the Situation prefers to operate as someone who “knows what he wants from his summer at the Jersey Shore and is not going to let anything stop him from getting it”.  Well now!

Samantha Ronson as Pauly D

They both have mad DJing skills and horrific hair.  Not to mention the ladies love ‘em!

Nothing causes me more anxiety and ill feelings than watching Kelly Bensimon talk on the Real Housewives of New York. Seriously, it makes my stomach churn more than watching those addicts stick needles in their arms on Intervention (barf). The woman is infuriating and I think my neighbor (who hears me screaming through the wall) would agree that I’d be better off without her.

Same goes for Tyra Banks (who does she think she is?!), Ke$ha, Olivia Palermo, Katherine Hiegl and the entire cast of Jersey Couture (no, I don’t know why I keep on watching it). These people shouldn’t be allowed to speak, let alone speak on camera. In fact, I think the world would be a much better place if we never had to hear from them again. Wouldn’t that be heavenly?

So let’s all start a wish list of the celebrities we want to pack up and ship off to an island far, far away. A land filled with dangerous animals, poisonous fruits and zero Internet access or cell phone service.

Who are you giving your first ticket to?

Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: Spencer from The Hills. No one deserves it more.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: I would send Tyler Perry away. The world has enough fat-lady-who’s-really-a-skinny-black-man comedies, and he’s making the same crappy non-funny movies over and over and over again. And if he has one more sitcom start up on TBS, I’ll scream.

Charlsie – Hollins Univeristy: I’d like to send Real Housewife of NJ Danielle Staub to an island where she can’t hide in Bentleys from the snakes!

Read More »

[Yes, I realize this month's Cosmo breakdown is a little bit late. Sorry 'bout that. But better late than never, right? Especially with the poop Cosmo was throwing at the wall this month.]

This month, Cosmo’s Guy Report includes some of the usual brilliant suggestions from staffers, as well as expert opinion (read: random dudes interns found on the street) on everything from tatted up ladies to the little signals he’s allegedly sending us.

3 Things He Says That Seem Innocent But Aren’t…

Cosmo Says: “I still love you” translates into “I love you a lot less now that we just had this fight.” “Whatever” is no longer a fun word to abbreviate, but rather a sign that your guy is about to tune you out, and “Oh, Great” is not a demonstration of his sarcastic side, but an omen that your relationship will end.

Kari  Says: I guess my boyfriend should have broken up with me years ago, because these non-innocent quips pop up from time to time. Maybe it’s just me, but if I screw up royally and we get into a shouting match, I want nothing more than reassurance that my boyfriend still loves me. And as for “whatever”-ing, it’s usually more of a response to my daily “What should I make for dinner?” text. And the sarcasm? I def would prefer sincerity but I don’t think a few eye rolls are grounds for an impending break up…

Guypinion: Chicks With Lots of Tats

Cosmo(‘s poll guys) says: Back tattoos would screw up Jon’s “rhythm” during doggie style.  Chris, 35, would prefer no ink—however “great boobs and a great butt” might make up for it, and Matt, 27, thinks all tattoos are stupid unless they are an exact replica of your dog’s paw print.

Kari Says: Ink-free is the way to be for me, but I personally think that all my girls with body art are bangin’. They all put a lot of thought and time planning out their tattoos, and none of the guys they’ve hooked up with had ever had a problem with…distractions (sorry, Jon). Where are all the guys who think tattoos are sexy? They had to be out there somewhere, Cosmo; more diversity on the polls please! Read More »