If my life was a movie, I’d look jaw-dropping-hot in a little black dress, and every college hook-up would involve a Freddie Prinze, Jr. lookalike leaning in for a kiss, while Six Pence None the Richer’s “Kiss Me” plays in the background. But, since my life is not She’s All That, my spit-swapping stories involve a lot of liquor, and a lot of regrets. There’s a Now! That’s What I Call Music CD out there with Aaron Carter’s “Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)” on the track listing. I know this because it made up the soundtrack of a one night stand a few years ago. Yeah, that’s how my sex life goes down.

Life doesn’t come equipped with an orchestra. If your sexcapades, like your iTunes, are on shuffle, here are a few songs you probably don’t want on your playlist.

1. “Dat Baby”–Shawty Putt feat. Lil Jon

With a chorus of “Dat baby don’t look like me,” and an opening line, “Dat baby ain’t mine… I’m sorry, bitch you heard Maury,” this jam is an instant libido-killer. The last thing a guy wants to hear as he’s sliding into home base is “You are NOT the father!” Sure, you’re using protection, but condoms aren’t 100% effective…paternity tests, on the other hand, don’t lie. Besides, no woman wants to find out that her cute college hookup won’t take responsibility if an accident does happen. Read More »

Batman. He’s rich, brooding, favors skin-tight latex, and tends to speak in a real low sexy-scratchy voice (no matter who’s playing him at the time). He’s obviously got some issues, but how can you hate on a guy who’s buff and saves the world on his off days from being a millionaire playboy?

I mean, I’d hit that.

There have been 5 Batman films since 1989, with a 6th one coming out this weekend. Not all of them have been critically acclaimed, but certainly all of them have tried to manufacture true hotness in a batsuit. Because we enjoy hotness even more than we enjoy things blowing up and campy dialogue, we here at CC have listed the Batman movies in order of their attractiveness factor. That’s right. Hot. Bod. Action.

5) Batman and Robin (1997)

Why it’s HOT: George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone, Uma Thurman, requisite skin-tight body suits

Why it’s NOT: Ahnold Schwarzengovener, Chris O’Donnell, the whole idea of “batboy” (please. Never seen anything gayer), the whole idea of “batgirl” (double please. She sucked), and this plot summary from IMDB.com: “Batman & Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City” (sounds like a chick flick where people have idiot names). Read More »