In fifth grade, I vowed to say No to Drugs. More correctly, I was forced to vow to say “No”, or I would not be allowed to walk the stage at fifth grade graduation (which would have been social suicide, of course). So, I did, and my little fifth grade self truly believed that I would never take a shot of tequila, smoke a joint and I was absolutely never going to eat fungus that grows on cow sh!@#t. Ever.

Let’s just say, without giving too much away, that my fifth grade self would probably be a little disappointed in my 21-year old self. Woops!

However, up until this point, whatever drugs I did choose to poison and/or pleasure my body with (depending on how you look at the situation), I always thought I had full control of when/where/how they were getting in my system.

I was wrong.

An Associated Press investigation that spanned a five-month period found that 24 major metropolitan areas have drugs in their drinking water. Yes, the stuff that everyone claims is safe to drink and/or at least okay to use to wash our hands and rinse our mouths with after brushing. Well, it’s also teeming with a large range of prescribed and over-the-counter drugs – from sex hormones in San Fran to over 56 different types of pharmaceuticals and their byproducts in Philly.

Disgusted yet? It gets worse. Read More »

Cops, man. Always ruining our crazy, college fun – pulling us over on road trips, breaking up the parties, arresting our friends. Why, because we break the law and do illegal things? Pshhaa, whatever.Like NWA said, eff the police, right?!?

Right! There are in fact, many ways around the law, especially when it comes to doing the things we all know we do and we all know we enjoy doing – like smoking “doobies” (as I like to call them,) or eating pot brownies, or driving with naughty things in the car, or letting your friends pull you across the highway while you’re attached to a couch…..okay, that one’s just stupid and if you do this, you should definitely be arrested. Radar Online has an awesomely insightful look into the ins and outs of what to do and what not to do in order to escape and avoid the law altogether – written by Barry Cooper, an EX COP AND HEAD AGENT OF NARCOTICS for eight years in Texas!!!! What a kick ass guy!!!!

Cooper wrote the article because, he said, “The war on drugs is an utterly losing proposition. We caused more harm breaking up families to put non-violent drug offenders in jail than the drugs ever did. And for what? To eradicate 1/10th of a percent of drugs on the street.” Read More »

I hope this report isn’t true. Not because I have any kind of personal connection to Blohan (my love for her sunk with her weight and disappeared completely after one two many bitchy interviews), but because if it is true, LL is officially lost and gone forever.

Star Magazine (not known for it’s hard hitting reporting) is claiming LiLo used Whip-its in rehab, mixing them with cold medicine and staying high until she was caught.

“At first, the counselors couldn’t figure out how she was getting high” Star repots, “but then they found the cold medicine and whippit containers under Lindsay’s bed. Lindsay admitted to using the stuff in group counseling meetings and said she was sorry.”

For those of you who didn’t grow up in middle class suburbia, Whip-its are nitrous oxide canisters that are commonly used for cooking and baking purposes. According to the Urban Dictionary, It is also the act of inhaling the nitrous oxide out of normal, household products like whipped cream cans. Read More »

Cigarettes? Just say no. Candy from a stranger? Just say no. The creepy man that kept inching closer to me outside of Port Authority at 1 AM? I just said no. (Seriously, he was like an inch from me and I just got in his face and was all like “NO.” After that I invested in some pepper spray.)

It has been engrained in our minds from childhood that there are just those things in life that demand that firm, final two-lettered answer. But what do you do when you want to say no, without actually saying no?

Usually it’s some sort of awkward situation, something along the lines of that guy in your Philosophy 100 class with bad hygiene and an even worse dandruff dilemma who asked you out for Friday night, or maybe it’s when your sister gives you the 3rd degree on whether or not you ate her leftover tiramisu (oops).

Sometimes it’s a job offer that you just really aren’t up for, (that summer promotion from salon assistant to shampoo girl seems more like a punishment) or perhaps it’s just your best friend asking you to join her on her annual family vacation to the Outer Banks…cool, except that there’s no way you could last more than five minutes in the same car as her abnormally gassy grandfather.

This is where the option of the silent no comes into play, the runaway bride type principle that it is always better to ignore an offer than to reject it. I mean it makes sense, right? There’s no easier way to get out of a sticky situation scot-free than to avoid it. Read More »