Common wisdom should tell you that movies and clubs are great places to take a first date. But sometimes where you are and what you’re doing plays a key role in whether things go well or not. However if you want to start a potential relationship off on the right foot, don’t take your date to any of the following places. Thanks to our friends at the Online Dating University for the recommendations.

[click image below to see full sized infographic]

Earlier this week, I went on a date. Yes, a real live college date. They’re rare, but apparently they didn’t go the way of the Tyrannosaurus Rex and do still exist.

I agreed to grab dinner with a guy who had been in my honors seminar this past semester and I didn’t think anything of it. When he came to get me before dinner, I just figured it was on his way or something. But then he paid for dinner and insisted that we go to a movie… and it was around there that I started to catch on.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against dates. Nothing at all! Hell, in the hook-up culture that is college, I like the idea of them. It’s a lot easier to get to know someone when you’re sober (and not already making out…). But I had forgotten how SO not enjoyable first dates are. Seriously, it was like an interview, but a really, really, REALLY weird interview. With awkward silences. And flirting.

The thing is, I knew this guy. We had always had a great time making fun of our professor during class and even had a considerable amount in common aside from our shared hatred of the reading assignments. He is a genuinely cool, funny, nice guy. But as we sat at a small table for two, something was oh so clearly off. Unlike our endless witty banter that took us through an entire semester, there were long pauses. He seemed nervous. It just wasn’t the same kid I knew from lecture.

And it was weird.

All this time being single, I thought that all I wanted was to go on a date with a genuinely nice guy. I wanted to be wined and dined and wooed. But when I accidentally stumbled onto a date, I was so not into it. I don’t know, maybe it was because I was surprised/confused, maybe it’s just that I don’t think of him that way, maybe it’s because dating is  awkward and I don’t really know how to do it, maybe it’s because I can’t stop thinking about how much fun I would have on dates with my ex…

The list could go on for decades, but I think that what it ultimately comes down to is that maybe I am a lunatic and don’t know what I want.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. When I wasn’t dating, I wanted nothing more than to roll around in that lush grass with the perfect boy. And now that I have a very strange first date under my belt, I want to hop back over to the other side of the fence where none of the confusion of dating can get to me.

God, can’t a single girl catch a break?

[Everyone’s got a morning after story and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

My friend’s parents were out of town a few weeks ago and, naturally, she threw a party. Between beer bongs on the deck, I started talking with one of the other party-goers. She told me about a great guy she knew that she thought would be perfect for me. “I’m going to have him Facebook you. You have to go out.” Being the perpetual single girl, I was excited at the prospect. Especially when she told me he was tall, cute and funny.

So when I woke up the next afternoon (it was a crazy night) to find a Facebook friend request from him, I did a little undie-dance around my room.

We had our first date a few days later. We met up for drinks and really hit it off. He was a little bit into himself, but I just wrote it off as a first date thing; everyone tries to sell themselves on the first date. Plus, he was tall, cute and funny, so I was a smitten kitten. Three hours later, he was picking up the tab (a very good sign!) and giving me a kiss on the cheek goodnight.

“I had a really great time tonight,” he told me. “I can’t wait to do this again.”

We spent the next two weeks emailing back and forth (and Facebook stalking each other…), but due to conflicting work and family schedules, we were unable to meet up. Finally, after being out of town for Memorial Day weekend, the boy emailed me and asked me if I was free on Thursday. I was and we made plans to meet for another drink.

I straightened my hair, put on makeup and picked an outfit that was cute but didn’t look like I was trying too hard. Then I threw on a necklace that I knew would draw attention to my cleavage and headed out to meet him.

He kissed me hello, then put his hand on the small of my back as he led me to the table. “You smell good,” he told me. Things were going well.

And then we sat down.

Homeboy spent the first 15 minutes of our date talking all about his awesome weekend away. I tried to get a word in, either to comment or mention something about me, but it was impossible. It was his show and I was merely there to watch. But that’s OK, because pretty soon I was speechless.

“I met an amazing girl this weekend,” he told me. “She lives long distance, but it’s totally worth it. I’ve just never had a connection like that with anyone.”

Uh….what?!

“The only problem I have,” he continued, “Is telling the girl I’ve been dating here that I don’t want to see her anymore.”

That girl was not me.

I didn’t know what to say and for the first time all night, he actually wanted me to speak. He was ASKING ME FOR ADVICE! On starting a long distance relationship! And ending another relationship! WHILE ON A DATE WITH ME.

I started replaying everything that had happened with him in my head and none of it made sense. He asked ME out. He wanted to see ME. At what point did I hint that I didn’t want to date him but actually wanted to be his personal dating advisor? What. The. Eff?

I chugged my beer and tried to play it cool. I weighed in on his personal dating dilemma. I prayed for someone to call me so I could get the hell out of there. Eventually the waitress came over and asked if we’d like another round. I said no. Then the boy excused himself to go to the bathroom.

“Are you going to be here when I get out?” He asked, jokingly.
“Nope,” I answered matter-of-factly. He laughed, too dense to clearly understand the situation. “Well, then I’ll just wait and go at home.” Then he threw down some cash for the drinks, gave me a monster hug and kiss on the cheek and told me, “We definitely have to do this again” before we parted ways.

He probably went home to pee and probably Skype with his long distance girlfriend. I went to my friend’s house and proceeded to chase beers with Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. Why does this stuff always happen to me?!

One would think getting Monday off would make for a more pleasant week, but one would be wrong. Yeah, we’re all one day closer to the weekend, but we also spent one more day last weekend partying it up and eating cheese fries at 3am. And it has taken a serious toll on our bodies. We’re seriously dreaming of the moment we can crawl into bed, watch Modern Family and pass out.

But before we do, let’s play a game of Would You Rather. If nothing else, pondering life’s most random situations will turn our brains on for those back-to-back lectures we have this afternoon. Think long and hard – and then re-think it just to be sure – and choose your answer. Then, if you can handle the thought, share your reasoning in the comment section below.

Would you rather your parents watch every date you go on for a year OR find them sitting on your bed at 2am when you come home with a “friend”?

Things to consider: the stories you tell on dates, daddy’s little girl, beer goggles.

Something weird is happening. After a month of bitching that I don’t get asked out on dates enough, I canceled a third date. With a cute law student. If she were dead, my grandmother would be rolling in her grave right now…but instead she’s screaming at me that she’s never going to have great grandchildren.

To be honest, the boy is absolutely perfect on paper: attractive, on a similar career path as me, personable, polite… did I already say attractive? That counts as two.

But I have found a number of little, tiny reasons to be not-so-attracted to him. I don’t like the guy because he has this rare disease that causes him to spell absolutely everything wrong in his text messages. We’re not talking a mere omission of commas, I mean “Z’s” where “S’s” should be. It is a nuclear war on grammar.

And I hate how he dances. I’m very, very awkward about private displays of affection, much less public ones. I don’t want to feel like I’ve been dry humped by a horny 13-year-old every time we hit the dance floor!

Are these legitimate reasons? Maybe, and maybe not. I sure wouldn’t want someone to cancel a date on me because I wore yellow, or because I have split ends. But in all actuality, I don’t even need a reason; the chemistry just isn’t there. Dating can sometimes become very, very mechanical. You look for people with similar surface qualities…hobbies, politics, musical tastes. It’s like running a checklist, but we forget one minor detail; the elusive, almost mythical “spark” has to be there too. He has all the makings of my hot, liberal dream boy, but deep in my gut I know he’s Mr. Right Now, and that nasty latter word will always be there.

I definitely feel like one of those hot and cold people Katy Perry and the rest of female society bitch about. But I think this might (brace yourselves!) be a sign of maturation. If I’m zoning out during all of his stories and feel nothing when we kiss, it doesn’t matter that he likes The Wallflowers and studied political science. Yes, I can mark that all off on the checklist, but I’d like to believe that isn’t what human relationships have been reduced to. I’m old enough to realize I’m looking for more than just something to talk about in that awkward 30 minutes between going home with the guy and making out with him.

He may be perfect on paper, but he’s not perfect for me.
Regardless of what my grandmother screams at me through the phone.

"Oh, but which one do I choose!?"

Want all o’ yo’ questions answered?! Email Tuffy Luv at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com to be featured in the Tuffster’s weekly column!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I can’t stop to think about this guy, I hope you can help me and give me some advice. (Sorry for the long e-mail in advance.)

So I met Chuck in school last year, he lives across from my dorm. Since we have the same major and in the same year, we studied for exams together throughout the whole year. At first, I didn’t think I would ever be attracted to him since he is not the type of guy I usually fall for. But I don’t know why, ever since school ended I been thinking about him a lot. Also, during school, my friends keeps telling me that Chuck likes me, and I should give him a chance. And he did act a little weird around me when he was drunk one night and wrote me a little note with hearts. But the thing is I already dropped a lot of hints, and I am not sure if he’s just not that into me or he is just slow and shy.

Chuck lives in a different city, so when school ended, he move back home. Chuck’s friend Steve, however, lives on my street. Since we are the only two people from my school that live in my city, we’ve hung out a couple of times. I can feel that Steve likes me, but I only like him as a friend, and I am not sure if by going to movies with him I am leading him on. One of my friends who works with Chuck said that during one of their convo, Chuck told her that he knows I went to a movie with Steve. Part of me kind of wants him to know, because I want him to be jealous (that’s if he would), but the other part of me was really annoyed by this news, because I feel like he is the type of person who would back out if he knows his friend like me. I haven’t talked to Chuck at all ever since school ended; I sent him a message on FB, but he didn’t reply.

So my question is should I even think that I have a chance with Chuck when school starts again? Should I text him over the summer? Or should I forget about him completely and move on because he doesn’t seem to like me that much?

Thank you so much for reading my rant,
Zhuliahh

Dear Zhuliahh,
Dude’s semi-into you, but he’s not worth the trouble

Here’s how ol’ Tuffy sees it: You weren’t all that interested in him until you went home for the summer. Methinks you just bored, girl.

He was probably semi-interested during the year, but I guess really honestly not THAT interested or he would have made a move when you gave him the signals.

He probably is feeling jealous that you went to the movies with his friend, but I think you’ve done permanent damage there since the friend actually likes you. Unless this guy is a douche (in which case, he’s not worth dating anyway), he’s going to step aside and let his friend have a chance with you. By showing interest in the friend (even though you aren’t actually interested), you’ve basically given Chuck a red light. A stop sign. A big old NO.

Sorry, girl. I’d say move on. Your lukewarm interest in a guy whose friend has the hots for you is noting but trouble and I would advise you to just move on with your life.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Considering I had never met the guy, I had my doubts that he asked for my number. Nonetheless I gave my grandmother permission to give it to him. Then I promptly forgot about the whole yentil-style-matchmaker-ambush and went back to my daily life of interning and unsuccessful haggling with street vendors.

And then, a few days later, like a missed call in shining armor, I received the following voicemail. Try not to swoon.

“Hi Jenni, this is Ben, my grandmother is making me call you, I don’t know what the hell is going on. I guess call me back at 867-5309. You know what, or don’t this is so awkward.”

It’s almost unnecessary to say but after that charming message, we began dating, one thing led to another, and we’re getting married in the Plaza over the fourth of July weekend. Slash NOT.

I have yet to return the call. I don’t remember this happening to anyone during Fiddler on the Roof and that’s the only experience I have with being set up by my elders. I’m tempted to just text him this blog link, but then again he is my only prospect at the moment (sure he’s playing a little hard to get) and I don’t want to ruin my chances.

After all, I’m not in college anymore and I can’t just meet guys and immediately classify them by their fraternity affiliation. I have no idea who anyone is or how to tell the difference between a genuinely awesome guy and one who meets and murders girls off of eHarmony.

Am I going to have to depend on being set-up by friends (not relatives) from now on? Even worse, do I need to get professional head shots taken so I can use the Millionaire Matchmaker service (and make my grandparents proud)?

Another thing I’m going to have to figure out.

Want your pregunta featured in Tuffy Luv’s biweekly column?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and ye shallllllll re-CEIVE!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So for the past two months I’ve been hooking up with a friend of mine. It evolved slowly since he was my first at pretty much everything, so we only started having sex a couple weeks ago. We hang out most nights a week, though sometimes we hang out with other friends too so we don’t hook up then. And sometimes we hang out and do other stuff instead of hooking up. That has been happening more and more lately, and in situations where we could be hooking up, and it’s kind of been frustrating me.

We used to have the TV on so no one would hear us (we both live with our parents), but lately we’ve just been actually watching TV and not actually hooking up. Sometimes he says he’s “too tired” to do anything or to even hang out.  I don’t get it. Why would a guy choose not to have sex when he knows he could and he claims he wants to? I think I’ve been really cool about this whole thing, in terms of not getting clingy/weird/emotional, which I know guys are supposedly scared of in non-committed sexual relationships. I straight out asked him, “You’d tell me if you didn’t want to do anything anymore, right?” It wouldn’t be the end of the world, I’d just rather he be straightforward with me. However he said it wasn’t that at all, it’s just he felt like watching TV. Really? We haven’t had sex in over a week, yet we’ve hung out multiple times since then and he texts me and calls me almost every day and still asks to hang out. I don’t get it! Isn’t it supposed to be the guy who always wants to have sex, and the girl who says she’s not in the mood?

-Friend Without Benefits

Dear Friend Without Benefits,

Girl, he wants to be more than just friends with benefits! Boy is trying really hard to date you without actually letting you know he wants to (and thereby not risking getting rejected). Don’t you watch Seinfeld?! Or am I really dating myself here?

ANYway, sounds to the Tuffster like that. Cuz, I mean, he wants to hang out with you. Right? You say he’s calling and texting every day and shiz. But you’re confused because he wants to, you know, actually hang out with you and not just treat you like the booty call you thought you were. I’m not really seeing the downside.

You have a couple of plans of actions here. First of all, you gotta decide: Would you even want to date him? If you’re maybe interested in dating him, you should continue as you’re going and in a month or two, ask him if maybe there’s more than just hooking up going on, because maybe you’d like there to be.

I felt bad for the kid. Here he was, thinking he was lookin’ all cool in his pink and purple shirts while the rest of the world pointed and laughed. (And by “rest of the world,” I mean “me.” I couldn’t help it! He was wearing white loafers with them!) I wanted to reach out and give that kid a much needed makeover, but I was also late for a manicure so I just sort of let it go.

But now I want to give back. There are so many things that guys don’t know or understand. Whether they are getting bad information, or ignoring the good information that they get, guys are constantly misguided. This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share the most important piece of wisdom they would want guys to know. Pass this on to any and all men in your life – they need it. Share your own advice/thoughts in the comments section below!

Laura – St. Johns: Don’t fart on me. Seriously, my boyfriend did this last night and almost died.

Brithny – Duke: PMS stands for Permissible Man-Slaughter and also Preposterous Mood Swings. So during that time, please forgive us for anything crazy we may do. And lots of wine and candy would be nice too.

Charlsie – Hollins: When you are in a relationship, the number of people your girlfriend has slept with before you has no correlation with how much she loves you, adores you, and wants to be with YOU. Don’t bring up the past — she loves YOU!

Lauren – University of Michigan: When you are workin’ on a lady with your hand, deeper does not mean better. You are not a gyno…and we don’t really want you to be.

Caitlin – University of Alabama: If I’m on my period, I generally don’t want to have sex.  And I don’t feel like giving a bj, either.  I’m bloated and cranky; give me chocolate and keep your pants on.

Thu – USC: Little things mean a lot. Leaving her a short note or text to wish her a good day, bringing her a treat after a tough day at work, or renting her favorite movie when she’s sick. Little things make a huge difference.

Liza M – Minnesota: We’re crazy all the time, not just when we’re PMS-ing. Sorry. But we do respond well to presents…

Kari – FSU: Don’t go snooping around our underwear drawer thinking you’ll find all things racy and lacy; more likely than not you’re going to find our Spanx and/or granny bras…enjoy imagining us in THAT.

Maddie – Tufts: Don’t forget about the date! Sex is great and lying in bed all day can be fantastic, but sometimes we gals need to be wined and dined, and there’s no better way to bring new life to your relationship than by a surprise date night.

Lauren H – The New School: Never, EVER be naked with socks on. Quite frankly (as much as I appreciate the male body and all of its fun parts) it’s not the prettiest thing to begin with. And no one, no matter how hot they are, looks good with just socks on. You have to take off your shoes to get the pants off, so just take off the socks with the shoes. Very simple.

Ricki  – University of Michigan: Girls always appreciate the little things…if you can’t hang out with your
girl, text her telling her you miss her.  Ask how her flight was.  This stuff takes about 3 seconds via text and reminds the girl, hey he does care about me.

Cristina – Michigan State University: Background music is always better during any deed.  The louder the better.  Maybe the bass would even be an aphrodisiac. Keep that in mind, sir’s.

K – GWU: Communication is so simple but so overlooked by guys. Want us to do something different? Be more involved? Be less clingy? Not be a part of your life? Whatever…tell us. I can do a lot of things but I can’t read minds.

Kiki – University of Missouri: Please don’t call them “tits.”

Sara C- Fordham: Guys, please stop using hair gel. I’ve never seen it look good on anyone. Gel does either of two things for you–one, it makes your hair look like a grease-combed patch of grass, or two, it does absolutely nothing for your hair, so you’ve just wasted your time and money.

Kim – University of Delaware: Don’t keep us waiting. We are an impatient breed when we’re put on hold. If you want to hang out, text us back (or better, text us FIRST). If you say you’ll call later, CALL LATER. We only will wait around for so long before we get bored and find the next in line. Forgetting or being busy is really no excuse at all but, more so, our cue to peace out and move on.

Kelly – Simmons University: Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want, your partner can’t read your mind.

And now from a dude to us….

John – UConn: Step one to finding a good relationship: don’t go looking for one. The more energy you expend sniffing around for a sweetie, the less energy you’ll have to be an interesting human being. Nothing says “bad boyfriend material” like desperation, except open sores that smell like cat food.

[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something.

While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world. I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know]

One of my oldest childhood friends is getting married this Saturday and, quite frankly, I am horrified by the thought of attending his wedding. Not that I have anything against the lovebirds; on the contrary, I’m glad he’s happy. It’s just, well… I never know how to act at weddings. There are just too many unspoken rules, too many unanswered questions: What do I wear? Black? White? Should I go casual or dressy? What do I bring? Who do I bring? Can I bring someone? And so on.

It’s enough to keep you from going to the blasted wedding at all. Well, I’m here to speak those rules and answer those questions. Buckle up my lovelies…

Dress code:
Can I wear white? NO! Never, ever wear white to a wedding.

What about black? Yes, black is perfectly acceptable at weddings. In fact, most people do. As long as you keep from looking like part of a funeral procession, you should be fine.

How revealing can I get? Well, the way my book put it, “Don’t dress like you’re there to sell anything - Tupperware, insurance or yourself,” and I think that’s pretty darn good advice. Also if the ceremony happens to be in a place of worship, remember to keep yourself decent: spaghetti straps and tube tops should be covered up with a sweater/shawl.

Overdressed or Underdressed? When in doubt, always go for the overdressed. No one will say anything if you tell them that you just came from a really fancy party/lunch/meeting/whatever. However, if everyone is standing around sipping champagne and eating caviar in cocktail dresses and you roll in wearing jeans, expect a couple of glares.

The deal on dates:
Can I bring one? Well, it depends what your invite says. If the invitation names both you and your significant other, then he/she is allowed to come. If the invitation bears your name + “guest,” then you’re welcome to bring anyone, from your dorky lab partner to that hottie bartender you’ve been drooling over. If the invitation says your name and your name only, then it’s non-negotiable. The couple is inviting you alone and unless it’s absolutely crucial for you to bring a guest (and this also depends on how close you are to the couple to begin with), then don’t bother asking. This will put them in the awkward predicament of rejecting you flat out.

Do I HAVE to bring one? Nope. Even if your invite allows it but you don’t want to bring the guy you’ve just started dating or you can’t find a date, you don’t have to bring anyone. Plus, it’s more fun flying solo anyway – you don’t have to worry about “babysitting” the new guy or introducing him to all your friends. And if you’re single, even better! What better way to meet guys than at a wedding? They already know some of the people you know and they’re less likely to be serial killers or drug dealers. Maybe you’ll even score with a couple of hot wedding crashers a la Owen Wilson (a girl can dream!).

Your presents will be your gift (Ha!):
What the hell do I give them? I remember how my mother used to freak out whenever she’d have to find her best-friend’s-half-brother’s–second-cousin’s-uncle’s-daughter a gift. I also remember telling her, “That’s why God made wedding registries.” But honestly, the wedding registry is definitely a win-win solution. Basically, the couple makes a wish-list of everything they need/want to start their new life together and it’s up to everyone else to cough up the gifts. This helps the couple because they get exactly what they ask for and it keeps you from showing up with a set of shot glasses (apparently married people don’t use those as often as we do….).

What if the couple isn’t registered anywhere? Well, then you’re screwed, aren’t you? Kidding. If the couple’s not registered, play it safe with a gift certificate or a check written out to the couple. The amount should be equal in value to how much they mean to you (seriously) or how well you know them, whatever comes out to more.

Is straight up cash acceptable? I’m not going to lie, I don’t see why not. I’ve done the “wads of bills (wads… who am I kidding?) in an envelope” before. Some couples even go around with money bags strictly for this purpose. It’s okay in most cases, but keep in mind who your recipients are – while some people will lap up the bills faster than a stripper during a lap dance, others might see this as a sign of disrespect.

Drinks in my cup:
Can I drink? It depends. Are you legal? Do your hosts care if you drink illegally? Just know that if you’re going to drink, try not to get piss drunk at someone else’s wedding. It’s rude, especially if you oh-so-classily get wasted before the ceremony. Or worse.. during!

Does open bar mean that I don’t have to tip? No.

So that’s all folks. And just in case you guys were wondering: I’m totally open to cash at my wedding (whenever that may be). Remember that.

And on a side note: I’d love to get your opinions on this feature. What do you guys want to hear about? Are there any topics you want to see featured on next week’s Miss Manners? Sound off in the Comments section!