I have a confession to make. (I really end up making a lot of those on here, don’t I?)

I’ve been in a lot of relationships. Those of every kind. Relationships that end dramatically. Relationships where he was too obsessed. Relationships where I was too obsessed. Relationships that were bittersweet and suddenly went horribly sour. Relationships where the chemistry was boiling over like macaroni bubbles on a hot burner. Relationships where the chemistry was equal to my chemistry with a wool blanket or a lampshade. Ok, fine. I’m procrastinating my confession.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.

I’m 24-years-old and I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.

Sure, I’ve had that high school romance where I didn’t think life would go on if we let things go. When we broke up and I was 16, I remember falling to my knees and crying. It was that dramatic. I want to pass that up as innocent love, the kind that you swiftly get over with time and look back at it like a small blip on your life radar. Read More »

OK, contrary to popular belief from my last posts, post-grad college life is pretty amazing sometimes.  That’s why I’m going to dedicate this post to something positive. Because yes, also contrary to popular belief, post-grad life is not a purgatory (I have a tendency to be a little melodramatic from time to time).

Back during my college days (that seem so long ago) going on dates seemed like a non-existent activity.  Go ahead and rat on me if you’ve been on ten dates already and you haven’t even been through an entire semester.  If that’s the case, I now understand why I don’t know you.

Anywho, I rarely went on any dates.  I met a lot of guys, but for some reason (probably somewhere along the lines of everyone leading a lifestyle two leaps away from a homeless person) dates were a seldom activity.  Therefore, while meeting guys was not difficult in college, dating them was.

Nowadays as a post-grad, meeting guys is a little more difficult to do outside of a strenuous work schedule.  However,  actual dating becomes a little more natural.  As opposed to college when I was surrounded by lax tees and Natty-Ice-grasping-frat-dudes 24/7 who couldn’t afford to buy me a McGriddle, the guys out here are more like, well, men.

During college, I was convinced chivalry did not exist anymore.  I mean, please; dudes wouldn’t even pump beer into my Solo cup for me.  Dudes wouldn’t hold the door for me at Chipotle.  Dudes wouldn’t sacrifice a treadmill during a busy afternoon in the workout room for me.  Dudes wouldn’t offer up the last burrito in the line at the caf for me.  I felt like a dude wouldn’t even go the extra mile to dedicate a fart to me (not that I’d want anything to do with that).

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When you’re in college, everyone knows there are the classes you take because you have to and then the classes you take because they’re actually going to help you in life.  Anthropology of Magic?  A major sophomore year mistake.  Unless my letter to Hogwarts got lost in the mail, I’m never going to need to know how to read tea leaves.  Wine and Spirits?  Fun, but again- not exactly functional in the job world.  (That is, unless I’m going to “networking” events where there’s an open bar.)

Unfortunately the classes that actually will help you down the road are few and far between.  Sure math is important and English is pretty essential, but what about:

Intro to Hangovers on the Job
So you went on a weeknight bender and now you’re dealing with the aftereffects.  The real world isn’t like college where you can just curl into the fetal position, skip class, and ride out the storm.  Oh no.  You’ve gotta put on that pencil skirt, slide on those pumps, and look like you’re ready to get sh*t done.  Do you know how to not puke in a board meeting?  Or how about not falling asleep on your keyboard?  Skipping greasy hangover brunch?  This class would open your eyes to all those things and more.

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Are you actually going to call??

I recently met a guy who spent the night alternating between making out with me and making fun of people with me. Talk about true love. I gladly gave him my number at the end of the night and assumed he would call me the next day. I never heard from him again.

Why do men hit on you all night, ask for your number, and then disappear off the face of the earth?

I know that I should be used to this whole “lemme get your digits” scam by now, but it still tricks me every single time. Even though I act all nonchalant as I type my number into his phone, I leave the bar/party/alley floating on air. In my head I’m 16 steps ahead and already planning our first date, our first anniversary, and our destination wedding location (he liked making out in front of the fan, so we should totally go someplace windy). I wake up smiling thinking that maybe, just maybe, I won’t be the last one of my friends to get married after all.

Then a few days pass without any word from my soon-to-be fiance. At first I always make excuses for him like he lost his phone or got amnesia or got sent back to jail for breaking his parole. And then, after one too many friends inquire as to whatever happened with that guy, I face reality and realize that yes, I will be that friend from college who never got married and eventually grew facial hair and finally disappeared. Read More »

The dating life was so simple in college… and that’s mostly because it was nonexistent.

There were more consecutive sunny days in Syracuse then there were couples during my four year stay. Most guys would sprint and leap into oncoming traffic before they would admit to dating a girl and relationship terms like “committed” came to mean a situation in which the guy you were hooking up with (NOT dating) would be a gentleman by driving you home instead of making you do a walk of shame through a subzero blizzard.

However in the real world things are a little different. Guys not only call you back during daylight hours but they also take you on dates to crazy places like sit-down restaurants and the movies. I’m not going to lie, that’s a concept I had begun to assume was made up by Hollywood and the liberal media to sell movie tickets. And the craziest thing of all is that a lot of these guys are looking for relationships and commitment.

Unlike college, there’s a much wider range of men here in the city and it’s much harder to figure out who could be your soul mate and who could take you home and kill you. I’ve learned there’s a big difference between a guy asking you back to his dorm and a guy asking you to get on a train to New Jersey with him because he lives just right outside the city. A guy from class offers to pour you a beer from his pitcher and you chug it down; a guy in the city offers you a drink and you have to send it to toxicology labs first to make sure it isn’t Roofied. Read More »