One of the most awkward moments in a college student’s life is the reunion; you know, the run-in/re-introduction/avoidance that can only come following a random hook up. It is one of the many moments in college that we try to avoid, this one being up there with “hangover for an exam” and “beer poop in the library.”

Unfortunately, it is a moment we all must embrace and take in stride if we ever want to move on…or do it again.

So, how does one handle the reunion? Is there a way to make this interaction awkward free, or are we doomed to spend the rest of our college days hiding in corners and avoiding any place that may hold people of the opposite sex? I can’t tell you what you should do, but I can speak from experience in telling you what you should not do under any circumstances, no matter how good of an idea you think it is at the time. Read More »

[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

Whenever I ask a guy for guy advice, he always says one of two things:

1. “Stop worrying about guys and just hook up with a girl….so I can watch.”
2. “Guys are not that complex. They say what they mean.”

I want to believe that (the second one; I usually just completely disregard the first one…after I smack him). I mean, he’s a guy so he should know, right? But hard as I try to take a guy’s word at face value, it’s impossible. They’re just so vague. And confusing. And what the f**k does, “whatever” mean?!?!

And that’s especially true when it comes to text messages. Read More »

Ask Tuffy Luv. You know, unless you’re scared or something. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m a sophomore in college and I’ve recently started, um, “seeing” this guy. I don’t use “seeing” to coyly imply hooking up. What I mean is, we’ve been going on sort-of dates for the last three weeks and I have NO idea where we are.

Let me back up. The guy, who we’ll call Hunter, plays on the same intramural team as me, and I met him riiiight at the very very end of spring semester last year, where we hit it off, but then parted ways for the summer. I’ve had a mild crush on him since then, but never really had an opportunity to spend time with him since then. Then this semester, I started spending more time partying in his suite, because I’m really good buddies with one of his suite-mates. We always end up gravitating toward each other at these parties and spending hours talking one on one – over all the music and everything. We came up with this goofy plan to line up on opposite ends of campus and race to the middle for a running high five and then get coffee on Monday. Which we did, and it was awesome, and we talked for hours.

So I asked him to a movie… and he said no. That he was busy. Enter, my confusion and insecurity. But that weekend, at yet another party, we ended up staying up until 4 AM, long after the party was over, talking. And he asked me to dinner. So last week, we had dinner after practice — like, sober! Again! It wasn’t just drunken happenstance, we had TWO daytime hang outs over food. And he said we should do it again. And then our team had a cabin trip, and I was kind of hoping something would happen there, but the cabin was so small and full of people it would have been awkward, so we just kind of held hands a little bit and talked more, and he gave me his shirt to keep warm.

So now we have another date and I’m totally at a loss. Hunter is a really smart, funny, gorgeous guy who I’m really into, but I also know that he has never had a girlfriend. And that he’s not the type to make moves, ever, which is part of why he hasn’t had a girlfriend. And it’s not because he’s a player, because he doesn’t fool around with girls either. So do I ask him? How do I even broach the subject without sounding like a crazy person? Am I totally crazy and reading into everything way too much right now? I mean, he asked me to dinner, right? How do I go from sitting around a table talking to kissing/watching movies/snuggling/all the good stuff?

-Afraid of the Friend Zone

Read More »

You did NOT just call me 'Sugartits.'

So we all know that guys constantly complain about how girls are always saying things to make them go running (you know, like “Wanna hang out tonight?” or “I like your jeans.”) But hey, NEWSFLASH, guys aren’t so innocent. They say and do plenty of horrendous stuff that makes us want to pack our bags (without even wasting the time to fold things neatly!) and run in the opposite direction, too.

The girls at the Frisky were kind enough to let the guys know what was scaring them off, so I figured I’d chime in, too.

Here are a few things that guys have said/done that have sent my flying out the door and into the nearest bakery:

“Men are better at sports, it’s just fact.”
Really? What are you going to do next? Drag me back to your cave and chain me to the fire pit?

“Yeah, my iPad 2 is cool, but it’s nothing compared to my Range Rover.”
Honestly, I don’t care if you make more money than The Situation, I’m more interested in getting to know you as a person, not your bank account. And if all you have to offer is your (dad’s) money, then don’t expect me to be sitting in the passenger seat of your ‘pimped out whip’ any time soon, douche.

“So the other night when I was with this girl and we were…”
Look, I don’t care if you are seeing other people (so long as we are not exclusive), but I don’t want to hear about it. Do you want to hear about the amazing makeout sesh I had in the stacks last weekend? I think not. Read More »

I don’t need to tell you what a whore is.  In fact, you have probably already seen the bottom half of her ass sticking out of her way-too-short “dress.”  She’s the one slurring her words at the club or messing around in the upper bedroom at the house party. We all know what she is (not) wearing and whom she has slept with. Now the more important question is: how do we avoid being her?

The difference between the girl with a remarkable man and the girl with a remarkable number of STDs manifests itself in a woman’s character. Of course too much cleavage and sexual activity can also play into this realm of whoredom, but these aspects are not nearly as important as how a sexy woman carries herself. To be sexy (and not whore-y), a woman has to be filled with playfulness, sexual entendres/innuendos, and mystery. In short, she must master the art of the tease.

Mastering Playfulness:

A tease doesn’t need to rock a mid-drift and sky-high heels to get attention. (She gets too much of it already.)  Instead, she gains and maintains a man’s attention through extreme amounts of playfulness. This can take place in numerous scenarios. Simply by turning her body, making eye contact, and smiling, she has already made the first move.  If the man has enough guts, he will approach her. It’s just that simple.

After obtaining a man’s interest, a tease walks the fine line between approachable and unobtainable. Think: “Sure you can flirt me, but that doesn’t mean you’re going home with me.” This can be accomplished through coy behavior and the right amount of provoking. Put him down a little. Make harmless fun of him. Warning: it is important to do this about meaningless topics (like his favorite football team or love for girlie martinis, not his baby beer gut or the way his ears stick out), maintain a smile, and keep an “I’m just kidding,” attitude the entire time. The goal is not to piss the guy off, but to encourage him to play along.

You’re from Italy? Oh, you know what they say about Italians, don’t you?

[These are best played with a little push or nudge to add physical contact.] Read More »

Lesson 15: We Are Living In A Digital World

Whether we like it or not, we are living in the age of social media. Our Facebook and Twitter pages act as trophy cases showing off our friends, our beliefs, our inside jokes and, more often than not, the things we wished we’d never done on nights we can’t remember. Sure enough, Facebook has found its way in our dating world as it has taken over our social world.

With all the different forms of contacting a person — Facebook posts, messages, Twitter DM’s and email on top of the already tried and true texting and that one thing from back in the day, what was it called? oh yeah, calling someone – getting asked out doesn’t just happen at the bar anymore. These different forms of digital communication have the capability of ruining our chances at a future job, but on the upside, it may be the way we get our next date.

Read More »

[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

Call me a whore (why not, my mother does), but I love me some casual hook ups. There’s something thrilling about going out, chatting it up with a hottie in a great pair of jeans, and heading home to tear off those jeans and get it on. Alcohol fueled or not, I love the whole carnal passion element of it all. The fact that the whole thing is purely physical. What? It’s hot!

Sure, it’s not the basis of a long lasting relationship, but it is the basis of a great story to share with the roommates come morning. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

But what I don’t love about a little late night nookie is when it happens at his place. I know it’s not the best idea to invite some dude into your house just because he’s got nice biceps (or seems to, at least, through those beer goggles), but I enjoy the comforts of my own glorious bed (topped with a memory foam pad, a feather down duvet and 4 very squishy pillows) and the control that bringing a lad back to my place offers.

I also happen to enjoy a few other things about having a romp in my own hay: Read More »

Recently, I started talking over champagne (where all good conversations start) with an old friend about  a recent article for College Candy about love that had gone wrong.  My friend, who was around during “the Tyler era,” pondered our conversation and said “what DID happen there?  You guys definitely had a connection and you were crazy about him.”

With champagne thoughts and a heavy heart, I reminded her that he had met someone else around the same time, and had chosen her.  I forced myself to have a grown up moment and added that he seems really happy with his wife and I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.  Then she said something that has had my head spinning for days… “Did you ever tell him how you felt?”

(Please add sound of car coming to a screeching halt!)

Huh?!? Read More »

[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

I’m not a crazy person. On the contrary, I like to think that I’m quite level-headed in all aspects of my life. I tend to think things through and really try to understand all perspectives in a situation before I say or do anything. And that’s probably why all of my friends come to me for advice; they trust what I have to say and know I’ll be objective.

Of course, there is always an exception to that rule.
And of course that exception has to do with guys.

There’s something about liking a guy that can make even the sanest girl go crazy. And I’m not talking “show up at his house in the middle of the night and profess my love outside his window” sorta crazy. I’m referring to the more internal diagnosis: thinking about him all the time, analyzing every single interaction you’ve ever had with him, going to every person you know and asking them to analyze every single interaction you’ve ever had with him, carrying your phone with you everywhere you go just in case he calls or texts, or checking your email in the middle of the night to see if he sent you a Facebook message.

And what drives a girl to such a low level on the pathetic scale?

The not knowing. Read More »

Dear Dude,

I’m in my first year of college, and there’s this one guy in one of my classes that I like. We aren’t what I’d call friends yet, but I’m working on the whole ‘getting to know him’ thing. So one night last week, he, I, and a couple of friends from the class went for a drink. We were discussing hair, and I was recounting a bad haircut received in my earlier youth. He replied ‘well, your hair looks really great now; you’re one of the most attractive girls on our course.’

…WTF, Dude!? I nearly choked on my drink! It literally came out of nowhere. I figured I’d just continue the becoming friends process, with few flirtations here and there. I must admit, however, I am completely terrible at flirting (I have never consciously flirted with somebody, let ALONE had a boyfriend) but I tried my best, and I thought I was getting some positive feedback…. He calls me sweetheart, I thought there was a bit of the eye contact flirty thing going on, there’s been a few more compliments, and he’s invited me to a few places. (Although with friends.)

A few days ago, we went out to a club, and I thought here was where something could potentially happen if we were all drinking. (That’s the way we all do it, right?)  Alcohol flowing through my veins, I attempted once more to be friendly, and sorta danced with him…. and…..nada. He didn’t reel back in horror, but I didn’t get the reaction I was hoping for. Same sorta thing as before, but nothing incredibly obvious. Disheartened, I tried to cover myself the day after, and blamed the alcohol.

Have I completely jumped the gun here? Because in my book (however limited) guys don’t tell girls they’re the most attractive girl in their class (which isn’t true, we have a professional model in or midst for goodness sake!) unless they’re into them.

I’ve asked my guy and girl friends for advice, and opinions on the matter are firmly divided. Some think he in into me, others think he was just paying me a friendly compliment. (Even when we weren’t really friends!) So…what should I do? Am I reading too much into this? Is he into me? What the heck is going on in this boy’s head?!

Sincerely,
Mindf*cked Read More »