Looks like Lindsay’s heading to the clink.

Rom-coms even your boyf will enjoy.

It’s all about the (adorable) cork this season.

Wanna look like Gaga? It might be dangerous!

Ever wanna know what it’s like to sleep with Hugh Hefner?

Before The Bachelor, there were these low-budget dating shows.

“I’m trying to be the man of her dreams.  That’s why I got this tattoo – to be someone.”  And so began Kasey’s downward spiral on the latest episode of The Bachelorette, which was, without a doubt, the most entertaining part of last night’s episode.  The crem de la crem, of course, was Kasey standing all alone on a glacier in a snow suit with snow whipping in his face, waving at Ali as her helicoptor whisked her and the Wrestler away. It was so awkward, so sad. And I couldn’t even take stock of the moment (read: laugh/celebrate) because I was scared someone was going to forget about him. I was just waiting for the 11 o’clock news to tell me that a frozen body, wrapped in a fake Burberry pashmina, had been discovered on an Icelandic glacier.

And then some other things happened…

Am I the only one who was a little bored with this week’s plotlines?  Paying attention for two hours was an ambitious feat for my attention span, not to mention that the Chris Harrison cameos were few and far between.

Since we’re probably all thinking the same things (there wasn’t much to think about, after all), I’m going to break my commentary down into two simple categories: Read More »

Booooring.

The Bachelor’s been on so long that it’s starting to look more dated and more scripted than the always-classy Blind Date series of the ’90s. Dating shows in general have become boring and stale. Because, let’s be honest, no one wants to watch one more good-looking-average-Joe go on dates. No, we want to watch full-fledged A-list celebrities who spend more time in tabloids than in the movies and on stage find true love. And of course by true love we mean a relationship that lasts at least three months, tops.

So here’s our plan for the future of reality television. Would you watch? Wait, who are we kidding? Of course you’d watch. If “The Little Chocolatiers” can make it, so can these: Read More »

After three glorious days of hopping from the beach to happy hour to the strobe of light of the dance floor, I finally returned last night to reality and reality TV.  What better way to cap off Memorial Day 2010 than with two hours of The Bachelorette?  I was scared I might not make it through the gridlock Jersey shore traffic in time for the show, but stopped to ask myself, “What would Chris Harrison do?”  In a sudden moment of clarity, I added a little height to my poof, hit the gas, and zoomed up the shoulder of the highway making it to my nearest relative’s home in record time.  (Please don’t think I’m joking when I say that because I didn’t have time to make it home to my own TV, I borrowed someone else’s.)

Now that we’re all through with episode two, let’s get down to business and rip this tragedy apart.  Ali wined and dined and made out with her remaining fellas on dates that would never occur in real life.  I believe it was Frank who confessed, somewhat surprised, that his trip to the Hollywood sign was the best date of his life.   Screaming at the TV, I wondered who asked this genius to be on the show in the first place.  Come on buddy, ABC isn’t going to send you to a bad Chinese restaurant and a sappy romantic comedy.  They go big and you go along for the ride, duh! Read More »

Last night I had a dilemma. A major dilemma. Involving TV.

You see, I wasn’t sure which I wanted – no, needed – to watch more: the Paris Hilton documentary on MTV, or More To Love, Fox’s newest dating show.

It was a tough call, but being that MTV shows everything 4,367 times, I went with More To Love.

Ever since I heard about this “Bachelor for real people” I was intrigued. Having grown up overweight (and not had my first kiss until the ripe age of 18!), I really got behind a show that didn’t focus on looks and really just gave everyone a chance at love. Or as much “love” as you can get by meeting someone through a reality show on Fox.

I settled in front of the TV with some (fat free!) frozen yogurt, excited for the “real” people that were about to find their soul mates. And what did I find? 60 minutes of sound bites for the likes of Chelsea Handler, Joel McHale and every blogger on the internet to rip into women with already questionable self esteem.

Seriously, even I couldn’t hold back on the jokes. And that’s bad.

There is so much wrong with this show that I don’t even know where to start. Lucky for you, I got really good at taking notes on my iPhone while watching, so here are some of my biggest issues with More To Love:

Read More »

As 2008 draws to a close, those of us here at College Candy strive to provide you with a recap of the year in pop culture, poring over countless magazines and endless E! programs to get the full scoop of the year’s worst. In no particular order, we present to you our list of Pop Culture shiz that should forever stay in 2008.

The Pregnant Man – Thomas Beattie became the sensation of the world in April when he appeared on Oprah to defend his choice to have a child as a transgendered man. Sticking up for your beliefs? Awesome, and definitely commendable. Eventually turning into a fame slut and marketing out your second pregnancy? Not cool. Now pregnant with his second child, Beattie has already cemented a book deal on his experience and been interviewed a second time as a ‘Barbara Walters Exclusive.’ One child is a miracle. A second one immediately afterwards is a marketing scheme.

Batsh** Insane Celebrities Across The Media - Britney, Lindsey, and others: we’re talking to you. 2008 was the year of the mental millionaire, with the world playing a captive audience to the tragic, bizarre, and sometimes just eerie behavior of celebrities. We watched Britney Spears struggle to put her life back together after divorce, Lindsey Lohan battling various addictions, and Scarlett Johansson crossing the borderline into stalker-ish about Barack Obama. Here’s the real scoop: an estimated 57.7 million adults are suffering from a diagnosable mental illness in the United States alone. What makes these celebrities any different from these people who are suffering in private besides their income and the paparazzi that shadow them? Watching people suffer is definitely a trend that shouldn’t cross over into ’09. Read More »

DeAnna took the remaining three fellas on a date to the Bahamas. If the boys couldn’t cut loose, enjoy themselves, and win her over in a tropical locale, then there was no hope for ‘em.Jeremy went first. Poor Jer. Stiff, unfunny, a hopeless romantic who’s almost too right for DeAnna. Their date was lackluster. The only thing I wrote down in my notes while I watched was: Grand Bahama Island (the name of the resort) and “Burgers for dinner?” If my mind wandered, DeAnna’s must have too.

My main man Jason turned everything around. He made DeAnna laugh, and insisted on not boring her with talk about his kid. They smiled, and unlike the other two dates, both of them seem like better, more fulfilled people when they’re together.

And then there’s the wild card: Jesse. Who knew he would last this long? The two of them rode horses on the beach. Then he finally put the humorous side away and asked DeAnna some tough questions about how their lives would merge should they get married. Kids, commuting to Colorado, the works. Read More »

After an episode ending in a headbutt, this one starts with the lead up to and the whole fight. Chad also puched Bo. Twice. And hard.

Chad escorted out immediately and is off the show. They don’t f*ck around. I take back my wanting to have a drink with Chad.

Is Bo missing teeth? OMG, he is spitting out so much blood, call freaking 911 already and stop standing around asking if he’s okay.

On cue, Glitter cries.

Bo must be SO pissed off. I can’t believe that he was able to keep himself from punching back; I don’t doubt his ability to defend himself. Off to the hospital he goes.

In the morning, Tila learns about the fight.

She doesn’t look good without make up. Tila cries some fake tears upon hearing the news. Or maybe these are real tears because someone got hurt over her fake ass show. That is nice of her to call Bo. I can’t believe that Scotty and Jay are the only guys remaining. I mean, Jay? Yuck.

BO NEEDS SURGERY??? This is horrific. I cannot believe that his jaw is broken and I really feel sorry for him.

Tila decides that with all of the drama that everyone needs to get out. Everyone is way too excited about it – I wonder how long it’s been. Ha, Tila goes to dinner in a separate car and what, is George coming back? Awwwww. But what’s with the rose — why does everyone think that this is the Bachelor? Read More »

Yeah, I do not concur with Bret on that.

I missed the first four minutes of the show but that doesn’t matter because my Trantastique is back with the subtitles! I’ve missed her so. Aubrey calls her a man and Bret insists that Trantastique is all woman which is kind of terrfying if you think about how up close you know Bret got to that. Poor thing had to quit stripping because everyone just wanted to talk to her and wouldn’t let her take off her clothes. I would want to just talk to her, too. She gives Bret a last lap dance and I am overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness. Read More »

Last time: mud bowl, Bret kept everyone around for this episode and – God, I don’t care, just cut to eliminations now please.

Episode 6 starts bright and early in the morning. Bret wakes up the girls and Big John, who I find to be more and more intriguing with each episode, hands Pey-ton a Bret-O-Gram (what the hell are they calling these?) to read aloud outlining the challenge for the day.

Where is Bret from, like, Pittsburgh? Any Pittsburgh girls want to come out and tell me if there are any cowboys out where you are?

I ask because the challenge is broken down into three events involving greased pigs, lassoing and horses. Anyway, Rodeo and her “hellish laugh” come out on a horse to help with the Rocker Rodeo Relay and I hate the people who named this challenge. Just like the Mud Bowl, there will be two teams and the MVP will win a solo date while the remaining winning team members get a group date.

Team captains again get to choose their teammates. Catherine and her beehive lead the blue team (Inna, Peyton, Daisy and Megan) and Ambre leads the red team (Destiney, KJ and Jesssica).

Stupid Megan thinks that the girls are jealous of her hotness and that’s why no one picks her. No, stupid, it’s because you probably don’t understand the rules of the games without diagrams and finger paint. Read More »