While Mother Nature may still be busy making up her mind, one thing is for certain: spring is here. It’s safe to say we can finally store our UGGs away for the season and bring out our flip-flops and dresses from the closet. With a salute to spring, we can finally relax and enjoy the great warm-weather activities that make the spring season so great. In describing her perfect date, Cheryl Frasier (aka Miss Rhode Island) said in Miss Congeniality, “A perfect date is not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket”. And she’s right. And what better way to celebrate spring than with your significant other? Steer away from the cheesy dinner-and-movie dates and think outside (literally) the box with these fun date ideas.

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[lead image via Sweetlana / Shutterstock]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m almost 21 and have never had a boyfriend! I went to an all-girls high school and never socialized with guys. My circle of friends consisted of girls and this carried on as I entered university.

It’s not that I’ve never been approached before. I just think I have never met a guy I’ve genuinely been interested in. Of course there have been the occasional crushes, but those never went beyond physical appearances. I think I have high standards and easily pin point flaws in guys that immediately turn me off from the idea of being with them (eg: they lack manners or smoke), but it’s because I’m not interested in anything casual. If I am going to commit to a relationship, I have to be convinced we can make it last. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is kind and makes me laugh? (And who accepts me and my quirks?)

I don’t think I lack confidence and I don’t think I’m hideous looking. I think my problem is I don’t know how to act and talk to guys. I can be myself, but sometimes I can be blunt and lack empathy. My friends find my deadpan humor funny, but I think others don’t get it and it turns them away. To give you a better idea, I believe I may have Asperger’s Syndrome. I haven’t been diagnosed, but when I read about it, I can relate to, 95% of the signs and symptoms! I find whenever I talk to guys and people I don’t know very well, I have a difficult time holding my end of the conversation. I either don’t know how to engage the person or don’t know the appropriateness of the topics I can share.

I guess what I’m trying say in all of this is that I have issues with how to act like a normal and appealing young lady while still trying to be myself. I need some advice, pointers, and conversation topics that will get things rolling. Anything! Your opinion, stories you may have, etc.

Sorry for the long email. I’m sure I could have written this in five sentences, but I felt it was probably important to give you a sense of my history and personality to avoid the vague and typical answers.

Thanks,
Ass Burgers

Dear Ass Burgers,

Well, okay, first of all, let’s not diagnose you on an advice column.

[Lead image via CREATISTA/Shutterstock]

For those of you not in the know, Mayo Clinic sez: “Asperger’s Syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a person’s ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others.” It’s sort of like really high functioning autism, in Aunt Tuffy’s understanding of it.

That being said, Aunt Tuffy ain’t Doctor Tuffy. And you ain’t Doctor Ass Burgers. Soooooo…

If you really think you have Asperger’s, get thee to a doctor, honey!! Said doc can help you understand your symptoms and give you various therapies to make life so much easier. In the meantime, while you’re still undiagnosed, let’s assume you’re just, like, a little socially awkward. With that being the case, there are so many ways you can help yourself.

Numero uno, of course, is developing those listening skills. This is a talent our society seems to shoop upon, but listening to other people–like, truly, actually LISTENING to other people–makes them *GASP* like you.

So when you meet guys, if you find yourself blabbering on, let them get in on the action. A conversation should generally be 50/50: you talk half the time, they talk half the time. Be engaged in what you’re saying AND in what the other person is saying.

And be more sensitive. If they tell you something that’s important to them, don’t make a joke about it. This, my dear, is just common decency. Yes??

As for your high standards–yes, of course you should have them!!! And, yes, absolutely, you deserve to be with someone who is kind and who makes you laugh–as long as YOU are kind to THEM and YOU make THEM laugh. You get what I’m saying here?! It’s give and take. 50/50.

And sometimes you don’t know if a guy is going to be good until you get to know him better. So a first date here and there is in order. I think your idea that you’re “not interested in anything casual” is just an excuse to opt out of dating. How the floop do you know what someone’s like before you’ve hung out with them?! Seriously. A dinner here and there is not a big deal. That is really not worth whining about how you don’t want to “commit.” You can’t “commit” to salad AND an entree?! Just have coffee, then. It’s really not so much to ask to give the guy a half hour. GEEZ.

Okay, and so, on to topics. Let’s get back to this 50/50 idea, right? Ask him questions about himself. That is 100% guaranteed to get the conversation going. Hopefully you’ll find out something you have in common. If not, hopefully he’ll have something interesting to say about stuff he likes. So, questions you can ask:
-What kind of music do you like?
-Have you seen any good movies?
-I just read about [topic]. Have you heard about that? / What do you think?

Or you can take the route of telling him something about yourself and seeing if there’s any common ground there. For instance:

-You know what I just got into? [thing you got into]
-I’ve been watching [thing] and I thought [stuff]…

And if you’re really brave or really bored:

-What do you think about the government / religion / gender roles?

Good luck, kiddo.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Qvestion?! Ansver: Ask Tuffy Luv by emailing us at TuffyLuvCC [at] gmail [dot] com.

I have been single for almost two years. It’s been good. It’s been bad. It’s been lonely. It’s been fun as hell. Every single day, I gather a different opinion on the subject. Sometimes there is nothing I love more than going out with my other single girlfriends on a Saturday night and talking to different guys. No strings. No one to answer to. No games. No jealousy. No worries! I am I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!

And then there are the nights when I’m not so happy. My bed seems bigger than usual, and for some reason all I want to do is cuddle.  I want someone to go to the farmer’s market with me on Saturday mornings. I want someone to call when I find out I got promoted/demoted/too much foam in my latte/whatever. Someone who will always pick up the phone and deal with my bull. And for almost two years, I haven’t had that person.

Many women make their whole lives about men. Finding a good man, getting a man’s validation or approval, marrying a man and having babies with that man. I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ve never had that idea in my head or that a man has never defined my self worth—they have. I’m not doing this 30-Day Challenge because I think that a man or a boyfriend is the key to my happiness or any woman’s happiness for that matter, but sometimes it’s nice to have a companion. It’s nice to be taken out for a date. What’s better than the beginning of a new relationship? You’re up in the clouds. Love drunk, as I like to call it.

So I have decided that I want to be love drunk once again! Since I only have 30 days to make this happen, I thought I would dive head first into the dating pool, and we all know what that means—online dating. Now before you yell at me, hear me out! I know I’m only 23 years old and probably should wait a little bit before I do online dating, I decided to change my beliefs for the sake of this experiment.

Online dating is weird. I am not even going to lie and tell you guys that I think it’s a totally normal thing. But I joined OKCupid yesterday. I made my profile, which was so easy. I was shocked at how simple and easy it was. You make an “About Me” page just like you would on Facebook and then answer a bunch of questions. OKCupid uses these questions to help find you matches. The more questions you answer, the more accurate your matches will be. The profile/homepage looks something like this:

Now like I said, I started OK Cupid yesterday and have already received many messages from men saying they are “interested in getting to know me”. Well that’s nice, I thought to myself. When was the last time I met a guy in person who said he just wanted to get to know me? The thing that I’m still kind of iffy about when it comes to online dating is that most of it has to just be based off the pictures we post. I posted about 5 pictures (obviously flattering ones) and I can’t help but wonder if the men messaging me even read my profile. These messages that I received were nice, but kind of creepy. There were a couple times yesterday where I wanted to just give up this whole challenge because the creep-level was just getting to be too much. Here is a perfect example of the creepiness that I am talking about:

“I’m just looking at something that I would bite, I meant that I like.”

WHAT? No thank you. You may not bite me. You may not like me. In fact, stop looking at me! Then there was this guy who just pretty much told me exactly what he wanted:

This was the point where I kind of just started laughing to myself and asked myself what the hell I was doing. I was only getting messages from guys like The Biter and The Friends With Benefits Man (Don’t we need to be FRIENDS first?), so I decided to take matters into my own hands. It was time to send out some messages myself.

With the help of my best friend, I concocted some pretty decent messages that I sent to guys who looked normal in their pictures (no mirror shots, etc.) and their profiles seemed interesting (They listed at least one book they enjoyed reading). I have not heard back from said men, which makes me feel super good. Is there anything worse than Internet rejection? I don’t think there is. Granted I think I need to give myself a little slack because it has only been a day since I sent these messages. I just want somebody to love! Is that so much to ask?!

I’m happy that you guys are along from the ride with me on this one. Online dating is definitely new territory for me, and while I do not expect to find the love of my life or even a serious boyfriend out of this, maybe I will just get to go on a few dates. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. I’m really planning on going on dates if I find some normal guys who don’t want to murder me with an axe. And in that case, I cannot wait to come back to CC and tell you all about them because, knowing my life, there will something worthy to write about! Until next week…

How do you feel about online dating? Do you have any tips to share? Wish me luck!!

[Lead image via karen roach/Shutterstock]

Today, we stumbled upon a video of a guy trying to down six beers in two minutes. He gets pretty close, but it does not end well. I’m sure you can imagine what happens. Let’s just say that if you’re squeamish, you should probably skip this video.

After we had recovered from the grossness of the video, we started to think about other things you really shouldn’t try to do in two minutes. Please, look through the gallery and take our advice. You don’t want to become a viral video. Or do you…?

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Dear Rebound Guy,

I would like to take this time to 1) say thank you, and 2) apologize for using you at my own discretion.

You see, there comes a time in every girl’s life when she gets dumped. Dumped so hard she can only listen to Bon Iver, curl up in a ball in her bed and turn off all the lights. Oh yes, and sob, did I mention that? But there also comes a time when it’s Friday night and her best friends drag her out of bed, put her in a killer push-up bra, a mini-skirt and take her to the most populated bar in town. And that, my friend, is where you came in.

To begin, I’d like to thank you for approaching me…or rather the alcohol induced, suddenly-confident-yet-secretly-broken version of me. Right now you think I’m this great girl who you were so lucky to stumble upon and, sure, I may seem completely level-headed and down-for-whatever, but you have no idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into. So, after a few sloppy dances and sweaty hugs, my friends finally find me and let me know you are, in fact, not as attractive as I had thought, and I depart. Without you. (Tease move number one). But not before you whip out your iPhone4 and I shout my number over the music. And that’s how it always begins.

Over the next few days, as you’re contemplating how to play it cool with a sly text message, I am completely unaware that we’ve ever met. And so normal life continues; facebook stalking my ex-boyfriend, creeping on girls he’s been in photos with, listening to sad music while crying and looking at old photos, deciding whether or not to burn that teddy bear he gave me, discussing what went wrong with my roommate while eating KFC… Needless to say, Rebound Guy, you are the furthest thing from my mind.

All of a sudden my phone’s text alert rings and I lunge hoping it’s my beloved ex! But it’s you, and you want to take me on a date. A blurred image of you pops into my head and I remember enough information about you to find you on Facebook. Okay, you’re decent looking, business major, look clean…I’ll give this a shot. I quickly run out of my room and into my roommate’s and we discuss how much better you could be than my ex and how this could lead to something real and all that B.S. we tell ourselves and each other, when really we all know deep down this will just be a free meal, a potential new friend and another reason to miss the ex…because well, you’re just not my ex-boyfriend.

Saturday evening rolls around and you pick me up at my apartment. You look handsome, tell me I look pretty and even open my door. We have awkward car conversation and pick a place to eat. I think to myself, “Alright, this is going fairly well! Maybe I really am ready to move forward!” But as the night wears on and my pseudo-happy self surfaces (which, by the way, you are really taking a liking to), deep down I am acknowledging the fact that I am not yet ready.

As you pull up to my apartment complex I lean in for a kiss and thank you for dinner. Why did I kiss you? It’s hard to say. Possibly because I haven’t kissed a guy (sober) in quite a while, maybe because it’s just the normal thing to do if the date went well, or perhaps to try and convince myself that I’ve moved on. Regardless, none of the reasons are because I actually like you in a romantic way. So as you drive away grinning from ear-to-ear brainstorming your next witty text message, I am rushing into my apartment, headed straight to my room to blast Ashley Tisdale’s “Alright, O.K.” as I jump around trying to convince myself to give you a chance and forget the jerk before you.

More quickly than expected, the Ash-Tis jams turn into James Morrison’s songs of heartbreak and I’m back to square one.

The next few weeks you text me frequently and I play along simply because I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Though we had a great time, it just wasn’t there on my end, but it’s not like I don’t want to be your friend. However, it’s too late and I’ve led you on.

Now, a year later, you have messaged me wanting to hang out. I gave myself the time I needed and am with someone wonderful and new, but you are still trying…

So here it goes: thank you for allowing me to use you as a stepping-stone to getting over someone else. I think we’ve all been there before, too. Unfortunately, you were just completely unaware. I’m sorry if I chipped your ego or made you feel self-conscious, but it was simply terrible timing.

Sincerely,

Olivia

This Friday Fave was originally written by Olivia – University of Texas.

[Lead image via Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/Shutterstock]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So my boyfriend of almost two years and I just broke up. I can honestly say that this is the first time that I have been literally devastated after a breakup. I’m in college and I can’t bring it in myself to do anything, except go to class and back to my apartment. I really love this guy and I want to help him realize that we should be together. The reason behind the breakup was because he let a girl (whom he has had past relations with) kiss his neck at a party that I did not attend. When he told me, I made a rash decision, freaked out and broke up with him. The next day after thinking about it I realized that I love him too much to let him go, and his actions honestly weren’t that bad (he had the courage to tell me himself).

When I talked to him the next day I gave him an ultimatum of either deleting the girl’s number or mine. And he chose to keep the girl’s number. He said it wasn’t because he wanted to be with that girl, but because his actions made him confused on whether or not he wanted to be in a relationship right now. He says that he won’t have time to focus on me with graduation quickly approaching. While saying all of this he was crying, and before he left he said that he loved me and hopes that in the future he can try to work his way back into my life.

I honestly just want  to be with him. I don’t want to wait till later, and because it hurts too much I can’t just be friends with him. What should I do?! Please help!

Broken Heart </3

Dear Broken Heart,

I reallllllly hate to say this, but I think this relationship is over. I know he’s saying he wants to get together later, but that’s because he cares about you and is scared of being without you. Still, he — well — he WANTS to be without you. And he IS trying to tell you.

I think your best bet is to deal with this graciously. Don’t talk to this guy for a while — not out of anger, but for your own mental health. Look, girl, you are hurting. And understandably so. First dude lets some girl kiss his neck (wtfloop?!?!??!) and then he tells you he’s not ready to be in a relationship. Those are both very, very hurtful things.

But he’s told you he’s not ready, and you have to accept that. I think you know, deep down, that this is not someone who is ready to be with you. And you don’t want to be with someone who chooses a neck-kisser and her phone number over you and yours.

You know, maybe, MAYBE this will all work out. It’s possible he’s just having a freakout as graduation approaches and he doesn’t know what he wants. But, to be honest with you, I think that what YOU want is someone who KNOWS they WANT YOU. You understand what  I’m saying?

You, too, are about to start a new life. When you graduate college, you enter a whole new world of adulthood. You want to be with someone who is sure of the two of you. You want a man, not a boy. And your boy is only now beginning to transition.

I know you’re hurting now. But give yourself some time. I know that’s hard to accept, but, I promise you, it’s true. Either he’ll come back into your life or he won’t, but, either way, if you give yourself some space, things will get better. Wait it out. Treat yourself. Baby yourself until you feel better (which, I promise, you eventually will). Let yourself heal.

And then find someone who wants you completely and who you want completely back. And I know you’ll be happy.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv. tuffyluvcc@gmail.com

[Lead image via Peter Bernik/Shutterstock]

I firmly believe that for every nice guy on Earth, there are 20 jerks to balance out the ratio. That means that there are millions of douchebags roaming the planet, shooting finger guns in their tight Ed Hardy shirts. You know you’ve seen them, and you’ve definitely met them – eagerly sitting in the front of the classroom, pretending not to see you on the Yard or sliding next to you at the bar. Douchebags aren’t bad people – they just need love, affection and helpful suggestions. But first, you have to know what you’re dealing with. Here are the 10 types of douchebags you’ll probably run into:

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Know any other douchebags we missed? Tell us about them below! 

Here at CollegeCandy, we’ve wondered where chivalry has gone – and I’d like to know where the little sucker slipped of to, too. But what I want to talk about now is, if chivalry is gone, do we really want it back? And should we expect it?

No matter how you slice it, chivalry always smacks of gender inequality. And yeah, it’s a lot harder to complain about inequality when you’re the one benefiting from it, but shouldn’t we still stand up against it? Are we hypocrites if we don’t? Add to that the fact that most of the little things we ascribe to the idea of chivalry (flowers, love tokens, professions of undying love) are all essentially just methods of winning over or even buying our affections. Isn’t that something that we in the post-feminist era should rebel against on principal?

We’ve fought for years to say that we’re just as good as men, that we shouldn’t be treated differently – and now, like it or not, this lack of chivalry is basically just guys treating us exactly like they treat each other. Hello, feminist victory here!

But at the end of the day, say what you like about feminism, we aren’t all the same. Genders are different, not better or worse, but different and we will always, in some ways, want and need to be treated differently. Beyond that even, when you really break it down, chivalry is a respect thing – it’s good when a guy will respect you enough to at least offer to pick up the tab at dinner or hold out a chair for you. I mean, ultimately, chivalry is as much manners as anything else, and what’s wrong with expecting a guys to have manners?! There’s nothing inequitable or anti-female about wanting and expecting a certain level of manners and courtesy!

OK, on one side, I’m a Southern girl and I was brought up with a definite emphasis on manners so chivalry has always been up there on my list of things a good guy should have. But, at the same time, I’m also a modern girl and I really don’t care who opens the door – if you get there first, open it – no big, right? Are these contradictory ideas? Can we really have our cake and eat it too?

What do you think ladies? Does the idea of chivalry just hold us back? Or are we taking the whole gender equality thing too far when we can’t even be treated special?

Duke it out!

This post was originally written by Lauren H — The New School

[Lead image via Smart-foto/Shutterstock]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Do guys like makeup? My friend says yes, I don’t think so. Is there a happy medium when it comes to applying makeup, or do you guys think it’s hot when we go all out Kardashian style? Let me know what’ll help me attract guys, not repel them!

College Freshman Wanting To Date More

Dear College Freshman Wanting To Date More,

This is timely! I just read a really interesting article about something similar in the New York Times. Apparently, wearing makeup in the workplace makes women seem more competent. I am semi-disgusted by this (how chauvinistic can our flooping society be!!!), but facts iz facts.

But do guys actually PREFER makeup?! Well, honestly, CFWTDM, it really and truly depends on the guy.

Yeah, Cosmo and whatnot will spend endless decades trying to convince you one way or the other, depending on what’s in and what they’re trying to sell. But, truthfully, it all comes down to personal preference.

I mean, if you really want to break it down, think about what kind of guy YOU want to attract. Do you want someone who only wants to hike and live off the land? Perhaps you’re best off with the no-makeup look. If you want, like, a sugar daddy, my understanding is a full face of makeup is de rigeur.

But for anything in between–and most of us DO opt for something in between–it should be all about how you feel most beautiful. Think about your lifestyle and how you want to appear, and make that look yours. If you want to be totally barefaced, the right guy will think that’s your best look. If you feel best with makeup, either natural or full-out, the right guy will think THAT’S your best look. Match your look to how you feel best, and your confidence will shine.

Or whatever.

Okay, stop making Aunt Tuffy sound like a Hallmark card for Revlon. Enough is enough.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv. tuffyluvcc@gmail.com

[Lead image via Inga Ivanova/Shutterstock]

I’m a junior in college, and I’m getting really, really antsy to graduate. I didn’t think I would get sick of college, because there are so many things I love about it. But the student life is getting old. I want to be a real person with a real job! I want to get home from work and be done for the day, no homework! I want to have time on the weekends!

But I think that sometimes I get carried away imagining my glamorous post-grad life. In reality, graduation can be a really humbling experience. I’ve always had lots of older friends, and I’ve watched some of them go through some difficult (but hilarious) times after graduation. So to remind us all that things don’t always go as planned, I present Expectation vs. Reality: Graduation Edition.

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Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.

[Lead image via unguryanu/Shutterstock]