Happy Hanukkah, people!

In honor of the eight days of Hanukkah, we decided to do a tribute to our 8 favorite Hanukkah celebrators (also known as Jews). But then we decided that 8 just wasn’t enough; there are too many good ones! So, we upped it to eight Jews for each of the eight days.

Yes, it’s a lot of Jewish, but let’s be real – Hanukkah gets totally ignored this time of year, so we thought it would be nice to give a little shout-out to the people not dreaming of a white Christmas. You know, the ones dreaming of a little Mu Shu on Christmas eve. Click on any of our favorite Jews to see why we love em so much (and why anyone – Jew or non Jew – will love them too!).

Christina Aguilera looks completely different

David Duchovny (somehow?) conquers his sex addiction

Random: Japanese helper monkeys

Johnny Depp does the pirate act for $56 mil (repeat: $56 million)

Nailin Paylin

Punch Michael Lohan for charity!

Vintage hotness: James Dean

Holly really did break up with Puffin — er, Hef

John McCain encourages idiots

The slinky song…for adults

Amy Winehouse wouldn’t mind dying

Mila Kunis is everywhere

Hollywood needs those bitchy critics

Magic Frame: ‘Take On Me’ explained (hilariously)

The most stylish family EVAH

Sex addiction is not about having a lot of sex or really, really enjoying it. Sex addiction is when someone’s sexual preoccupation causes their life to become unmanageable, demonstrated through a range of behaviors including pornography, voyeurism, masturbation and promiscuity. Over time, the behavior can become more intense as the addict’s need intensifies as they attempt to use sex to escape their problems.

In a case like Duchovny, whose addiction was to internet porn, simply having more sex with your partner will not satifsy the addiction. So much of the thrill and enjoyment lies in obtaining the sex and afterward, the addict often feels ashamed or embarrassed after the episode only to go on to repeat the behavior again and again because they cannot control their impulses.

Like drugs or alcohol, sex addiction dominates your life and is just as potentially destructive, as addicts may turn to prostitutes, go into tremendous debt, lose their jobs, put their health at risk and destroy relationships. It’s not a joke nor is it an excuse for infidelity.

If you’re curious and want to learn more or if you want to know where you stand, you can visit the sex addicts anonymous website or take the 45 questions assessment at sexhelp.com.

So on most weekends when all of you are out clubbing or hitting up the bar while hitting on hot guys, I’m curled up on my couch in my pajamas, watching the Olympics or reading a really dorky book and eating a cookie (or three).

It doesn’t bother me. In fact, I LOVE it.

Perhaps you’re intrigued by my reclusive lifestyle. Maybe you even want to take your own Introventure on an upcoming Saturday night, but you’re just not sure how to even begin. Well, you’re in luck! Look no further than this handy-dandy…

Introvert’s Guide to a Saturday Night in:

6 p.m. Put on pajamas. Why not? You’re not going out, and it just feels great to wear those soft, comfortable clothes.

6:15 p.m. Feel a little hungry. Decide to make one-serving eggplant parmesan.

6:30 p.m. Realize you are missing a key ingredient (the eggplant). Run to the store.

6:50 p.m. Ah, that’s better.

8 p.m. Oh, God. This is delicious. Who needs bad rap music and hot guys?

8:15 p.m. Do the dishes. Or don’t. It’s your night! You’re in control!

8:30 p.m. Decide to watch the Olympics.

8:45 p.m. Bob Costas is showing highlights of Michael Phelps for the millionth time, but it’s still not enough for you. You could watch those rippling abs for days…

9 p.m. Wipe drool off the couch.

9:15 p.m. Get bored with the Olympics. Pop in a DVD of The X-Files. The new movie reminded you of the great chemistry between Mulder and Scully and how you wish you were Scully during all the scenes when she kisses Mulder.

10 p.m. Wonder if the truth is really out there. If so, where?

10:05 p.m. Pick up David Sedaris’s new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames. Read about how he bought a $400 cashmere sweater with intentional ripping and distressing in it. Wonder if that is ever excusable. Think about your own most expensive item of clothing and how it is a) worth so much less than $400 and b) sitting in your closet unworn while you are lying around in pajamas.

10:30 p.m. Start to get tired. Ponder that all the parties around town are just starting to heat up and that you are obviously a grandmother for wanting to go to sleep before midnight.

10:35 p.m. Time to eat some chocolate.

10:45 p.m. Think about brushing your teeth. Obviously, you have to do it, but could anyone really blame you for wanting to keep that chocolate taste in your mouth? How bad would it be to refrain from brushing your teeth for just one night, really? Totally permissible.

11 p.m. Suddenly a glaring light arrives from nowhere. Oh. It’s just the overhead light, and you’ve fallen asleep. Go to turn it off and get in bed.

1 a.m. Best friend drunk dials you, jarring you out of a dream that involved both Michael Phelps and Mulder at the same time. You curse her out and put away the phone. How can other people actually have social lives, anyway?!

[Photo courtesy of flickr.com.]

Here are some sex tapes I’d like to see:

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood

Oh wait, they’ve already made one and called it a music video. On second thought, I’m okay with never watching that again.

Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson.

Even though I have a feeling that I’d just be waiting for Owen Darling (bless his heart) to burst out into tears or for Kate Hudson to snap in half. On second thought, maybe I’ll skip this one too.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

Aren’t you a little curious? They seem so wholesome, but I just get the impression that Jada can handle a whip better than Indiana Jones.

Sting and Trudie Styler.

I know he’s getting old, but don’t you kinda want him to show the work, so to speak, with all that tantric stuff he’s been talking up?

David Duchovny and Tea Leoni.

Mostly because I’d like to see what Dave is packing. Age and bad career moves just can’t dampen my dirty lusty love for this man.

James McAvoy and…Me.

Shot in soft light, of course, maybe reenacting that scene from Atonement. Really, though, I’d do it in the back of a Ford Taurus in a Costco parking lot in the middle of the day if that’s what he wanted.