The Weekly Ten: Sexploited!

david lettermanEvery week I emulate my favorite late night talk show host, David Letterman, and countdown from ten. And then, last week, my favorite late night talk show host shared with us his story of being blackmailed for fooling around with some of his staff.

Whether you think his announcement was noble or unnecessary, whether you care where Letterman puts it or not, the scandal brought me to this week’s topic: the top ten people you should avoid sleeping with unless you want to suffer some serious aftermath. Maybe not a mistake that warrants a $2 million extortion, mind you, but still pretty scandalous repercussions.

10. The Bartender and/or Bouncer
Especially not at your favorite bar or club. One mistake with a bouncer equals embarrassment strong enough to keep you out of the doors of your favorite sports bar forever.

9. A neighbor in your dorm
Do you really want to worry about running into your fling when you’re in the dorm hallways wearing Powerpuff girl pajama bottoms?

8. “That Guy”
Collar popped underneath his Ed Hardy shirt with a sideways hat and a Lance Armstrong bracelet. Spare your dignity.

7. Ray-J
Unless you want a sex tape on the internet. Although it did kick-start Kim Kardashian’s career, so I guess this isn’t such a bad idea if that’s the direction you want to take your life. Read More »

The Weekly Ten: The Most Annoying Phrases EVER

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I'm not listening! I can't hear you!

I’m a huge fan of lists. Not to-do lists or grocery lists or my “list” (you know which one I’m talking about), but lists of things with bold faced sections that I can read through quickly and have a little chuckle. Or lists where I can vent my pent up frustration that I have been holding onto for years in hopes that the people at the root of that frustration will see the list, change their ways and make my life a whole lot more pleasant.

And that is what’s happening here. There are some people out there – lots of them – who say some pretty annoying stuff, so this week I’m gonna lay out the 10 most annoying phrases of all time. If you say any of these things, please stop. If you constantly say them all, please never come near me. Especially if I’m holding anything sharp.

10. “Just Sayin’”
End every sentence with this, really. Like I didn’t know you were saying something.

9. “On the real”
No. No. Not on the real. It’s been real, “on the real”. For real

8. “What the hey”
So cheesy, Chester Cheeto can’t even deal.

7. “Catch ya on the flip flop”
What does this even mean? Other than the obvious: don’t be my friend. Read More »

Candy Dish: Permanent Three-Day Weekends?

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Could a 4-day work week be in your future?

Looks like rehab doesn’t work for Kirsten Dunst.

5 super foods you can find in the dining hall.

Who robbed Lindsay Lohan?

12 tips for relationship bliss.

Anne Heche gets bitter on Letterman.

Candy Dish: Al Roker Rips Speidi a New One

0615_speidi_nbc_videoWe have a newfound love and respect for Al Roker.

Guys look hotter with a little ink.

10 things your dad taught you about sex.

Sweat proof makeup for summer!

Palin’s people want Letterman fired?

Macho movie men in humiliating costumes.

Candy Dish: Bad News for America

chrysler_logoChrysler files for bankruptcy.

The most stylish people on TV.

Leann Rimes puts her hubby back in the closet.

Perfectionism may be bad for your health.

Jennifer Garner can’t run.

8 essential sex positions for summer.

Candy Dish: Britney’s Halloween Plans

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Britney’s going all out for Halloween.

Save money on mags; read this instead.

The perfect year-round nail color.

NBC is getting rid of the chimes? WTF?

Internet dating: even the old people are doin’ it.

31 things you should know about Halloween.

David Letterman totally calls LC out.

Everyone needs this bag. Puma got so chic!

The all-in-one glass: a college girl’s BFF.

Seriously – when did Shia get so hot?

It’s time to unload all that baggage.

Craigslist and Google come together to get you laid.

Candy Dish: Is This Joe Six Pack?

hugh.jpgHugh Jackman: the real Joe Six Pack?

Taylor Momson is not rexy, she’s just skinny!

Americans have terrible taste in movies.

Sarah Palin confirmed an SNL visit. Watch out, Tina.

McCain is gets a second chance on Letterman.

Cosmo’s hottest men on earth. (Editor’s Note: WHERE IS PIVEN?!)

5 things men buy to overcompensate make us think they are too cool for school.

Where in the world are the Jolie Pitts?

Gossip Girl heads to college.

Pumpkin Picking: the ultimate (celebrity) fall activity.

Paris Hilton lookin’ really good. (I know, I can’t believe it either!)

Mark Wahlberg hates SNL.

Tampons to go!

Shocker: Froot Loops is not good for you!

Candy Dish: Because No One is Talking About Anything Besides the Economy…

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Heath Ledger’s daughter is cute and taken care of

In case you’re sh*tting yourself about the bailout

Britney Spears sounds relatively normal

Sean Penn is confused in a lot of ways

Strangely frightening

Sam and Lindsay BOTH in binkis

Katie Holmes is actually good for theater

Megan Fox’s first toolish-looking boyfriend

What color looks best on you?

No Fly List baby

Letterman ain’t no John McCain fan

Here’s one way to get clean

Candy Dish: Jesse Jackson Is Still Not an Obama fan

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Jesse Jackson is still not an Obama fan…like, at all

And the Justin Timberlake backlash has begun!

Models may be pretty, but they sure are dumb

Maggie Gyllenhaal is awesome, Letterman is a creep

This totally looks like my favorite new web site!

Ashlee Dupree has ruined more than Elliot Spitzer’s good name

But…the Jobros…are so adorable and wholesome! How dare you not like them!

Deleted scenes from Wall-E

Religion 2.0

“There is more to kissing than just shoving your tongue in and letting it lay there.”

Kathryn Heigl needs to go. Perhaps one of these ways would be best?

David Letterman, Burninator Extraordinaire

This is too good not to bring to the world’s attention.

A-Number One King of the Douchenuggets Spencer Pratt appeared on the Late Show on Friday night where he was subjected to five minutes of relentless belittling at the hands of David Letterman. In his usual smile-for-the-camera brotastic manner, Pratt attempted to defend himself against Letterman’s not-so-veiled allegations that he is, in fact, an epic waste of human flesh, but, well…a spade’s a spade, right?

Click here to watch the interview – there’s a special treat at the end! And by special I mean meh. And by treat I mean fake jugs. And by end I mean Heidi Montag. Woo hoo?