Every week I emulate my favorite late night talk show host, David Letterman, and countdown from ten. And then, last week, my favorite late night talk show host shared with us his story of being blackmailed for fooling around with some of his staff.

Whether you think his announcement was noble or unnecessary, whether you care where Letterman puts it or not, the scandal brought me to this week’s topic: the top ten people you should avoid sleeping with unless you want to suffer some serious aftermath. Maybe not a mistake that warrants a $2 million extortion, mind you, but still pretty scandalous repercussions.

10. The Bartender and/or Bouncer
Especially not at your favorite bar or club. One mistake with a bouncer equals embarrassment strong enough to keep you out of the doors of your favorite sports bar forever.

9. A neighbor in your dorm
Do you really want to worry about running into your fling when you’re in the dorm hallways wearing Powerpuff girl pajama bottoms?

8. “That Guy”
Collar popped underneath his Ed Hardy shirt with a sideways hat and a Lance Armstrong bracelet. Spare your dignity.

7. Ray-J
Unless you want a sex tape on the internet. Although it did kick-start Kim Kardashian’s career, so I guess this isn’t such a bad idea if that’s the direction you want to take your life. Read More »

I'm not listening! I can't hear you!

I’m a huge fan of lists. Not to-do lists or grocery lists or my “list” (you know which one I’m talking about), but lists of things with bold faced sections that I can read through quickly and have a little chuckle. Or lists where I can vent my pent up frustration that I have been holding onto for years in hopes that the people at the root of that frustration will see the list, change their ways and make my life a whole lot more pleasant.

And that is what’s happening here. There are some people out there – lots of them – who say some pretty annoying stuff, so this week I’m gonna lay out the 10 most annoying phrases of all time. If you say any of these things, please stop. If you constantly say them all, please never come near me. Especially if I’m holding anything sharp.

10. “Just Sayin’”
End every sentence with this, really. Like I didn’t know you were saying something.

9. “On the real”
No. No. Not on the real. It’s been real, “on the real”. For real

8. “What the hey”
So cheesy, Chester Cheeto can’t even deal.

7. “Catch ya on the flip flop”
What does this even mean? Other than the obvious: don’t be my friend. Read More »

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This is too good not to bring to the world’s attention.

A-Number One King of the Douchenuggets Spencer Pratt appeared on the Late Show on Friday night where he was subjected to five minutes of relentless belittling at the hands of David Letterman. In his usual smile-for-the-camera brotastic manner, Pratt attempted to defend himself against Letterman’s not-so-veiled allegations that he is, in fact, an epic waste of human flesh, but, well…a spade’s a spade, right?

Click here to watch the interview – there’s a special treat at the end! And by special I mean meh. And by treat I mean fake jugs. And by end I mean Heidi Montag. Woo hoo?