In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come (pun intended) and gone, and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

Lesson 27: If He Wanted To Be With You, He’d Be With You

So there you are, another Friday night, another Lean Cuisine and bottle of red that you’ve already taken the liberty of gulping down as an appetizer. Content with your night but mostly with your wine buzz, just about to sink into the couch hoping for a marathon of the Real Housewives of Anywhere, your phone’s text message alert rings. Looking at the phone’s screen just long enough to know you should’ve known better than to look, you realize it’s your ex. Of course it is. It’s about that time again right? Every two months or so, he loves to check in with his favorite go-to line, “I’m thinking of you” (or if he’s drunk, “Im thinjing og yoi”) just long enough to make your head spin (on top of your wine buzz).

There will always be that one ex in your life that takes a socially unacceptable amount of joy in confusing the hell out of you. He’ll come out of nowhere and drop bombs about how he misses you but as soon as you call him out on it, he reverts to whatever excuse he’s got in his arsenal. If it’s not an issue with commitment, it’s a new girlfriend or some spiel about needing to “find himself.”

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Jimmy Kimmel has deemed November 17^th National Unfriend Day.  Yes, he’s talking Facebook and he’s insisting that you don’t really have 763 “friends” in real life, so why should you online?  Time to trim the fat, people!

Initially I thought this was a great idea.  Eliminating all those random welcome week acquaintances and sophomore year World Civ group project people would be pretty great.  I mean, seriously, who are these people anyway?  Do I care that your sister just had a baby?  Do I want to know what movie you watched last night with your mom?  Should you be posting pictures of your new tramp stamp?  Hell no.

But upon thinking some more, hitting that “unfriend” button could induce a sort of high.  It would start with people you’ve never heard of, increase to the ones you shared a few classes with, and end when you’ve cut all online ties to ex-boyfriends and old hook-ups.  Holy batman, you can’t stalk them anymore!  You can’t see if their new girlfriend is prettier than you!  You can’t know if they’re posting mysterious song lyrics that may or may not point to the beautiful moment you shared in the back of the bar last Thursday night when his hand was up your shirt!  What have you done!?

While I don’t think you should skip this new holiday altogether, I encourage you to observe it with a modicum of restrain.  Here’s a cheat sheet on who to delete now and who to keep around for a little longer:

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The only thing harder than saying goodbye to your roommate for the summer is packing up your dorm… and mopping all of the dried beer of the floor.  And scrubbing your desk where pizza sauce has been encrusted for months. And figuring out how to pack it all into your two-door.  Yeah, moving out sucks.  But moving IN with your parents again… well, let’s face it.  It rocks.

Here are my top ten faves about crashing with Mom and Dad for three months.  What are yours?

1.  You can live with your parents without looking like a deadbeat loser.

You have an excuse: You’re still in college and the dorms closed.  If you were 35 and working at the Venus Club and living with the ‘rents… you might belong on Jerry Springer.  But there’s nothing shameful about going back to your teenage years and living under their roof for one more summer.

2.  You’re a legal adult now.

Maybe your parents tried to force some strict rules on you in high school, and you vowed to move out asap.  But now, you’re an adult.  So even if they try to enforce a curfew, you at least have the “I’m a grown up” argument, which can be bolstered with “I just made Dean’s List,” or “In college, you aren’t keeping tabs on me and I made it home alive, didn’t I?” Plus, a lot of parents won’t even pick that fight, because they realize that you are an adult, you are a responsible collegiate, and they don’t want to know what happens on spring break. Read More »

More women attend liberal arts colleges than men, women’s salaries continue to grow and, as Hillary Clinton said in a recent speech, “the glass ceiling now has eighteen million cracks in it.” What does that mean?

It means, as a woman of the new millennium, you’re likely to date a guy who is (not to sound too demeaning) a few rungs below you on the ladder to lifelong success. As someone who has dated her fair share of men who lack any aspirations (my disapproving dad calls them slackers), I know a thing or two about these types of boys. I’ve learned many lessons, which I will now share with you if you’re at all interested in pursuing, or continuing, a relationship with one of these self-declared duds.

Let’s begin with the upside. Guys who aren’t busting their balls at work in order to get a better job or a higher wage are more likely to be attentive and available to you. (More time for massages? Count me in!) They tend to be calmer, more easy going, and, most likely, able to hang out more often.

Unfortunately, that’s about it in terms of the pro’s. So, let’s look at the downside and, more importantly, how to deal with it. Read More »