Let’s face it: s**t happens. Sometimes we get a little crazy and accidentally go home with someone(s) that we did not intend to. Now, I’m not condoning that you engage in any activities of this sort, but if you happen to do so, I want to be sure you have a way of 1) getting out of there, 2) not repeating the same mistake for quite some time, and 3) having a hilarious story to go along with it.

So, here are a few tips for handling the most difficult of situations.

“I think I had an accident…” – Now I hope this hasn’t happened to you, but if you ever happen to wake up and realize that you took one too few bathroom trips last night, I have a solution for you. My friend Chris once peed himself (for lack of a better phrase) and promptly asked the girl he woke up with for a glass of water. As soon as she handed it to him, he spilled it all over his lap. Hey, I’d much rather be compared to a klutz than an accident-prone toddler.

“What’s your name again?” – Waking up next to a rando is pretty embarrassing. But nothing is worse than waking up to a relative stranger when you can’t remember their name. Even if you’ve narrowed it down to Jose and Jackson, you really can’t just test one out to see if it’s right. If you’re planning on never seeing them again, it’s totally acceptable to use the word “you” in the place of their name in any sentence. If you plan on seeing them again, however, ask them to enter their number (and name!) into your phone. Don’t pull the ol’ “How do you spell your name?” when you enter it in. Believe me, it’s pretty mortifying when he snaps back “B-E-N” while staring you down. Read More »