Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like how we love the idea of a monokini, but we just don’t know if we can pull it off. Or how we love making money babysitting, but hate giving up a Saturday night. Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!]

Anyone who knows me knows not to call on Tuesday nights. Not only is it Biggest Loser night, but it also happens to be the best night of my week because of one thing only: The Real Housewives. I don’t care if they are from Orange County, Hot-lanta or New York, I can’t get enough of these women.

Yet now that The Real Housewives of New Jersey are on the (polluted) horizon, I’m starting to feel a little confused inside about my love for couture catfights and $16,000 handbags.

Yes, ladies, I’m torn. It’s time to break it all down.

Love It:
Rich women doing fabulous things and talking about one another behind everyone’s backs? It’s like my dream life. I’m really good at the sh*t talking, but I’m seriously lacking in the Chanel bags and Louboutin heels, so it’s nice to live out my dreams through a Bravo TV show. And the drama, while totally blown out of proportion, is just so addicting. Whoever casts this show did a fantastic job of bringing far too many Type A women into one social circle, ultimately leading to many a manicured claw fights.

And could there be anything more entertaining than watching Evil Vicki trip and fall down a stair? Or Nay Nay making fun of her tranny bff, Kim? Or Bethenny (attempting to) open a can of ‘tude on Kelly Bensimon? Short answer: no. There is nothing better. Because drama in your social circle is never fun, but watching rich women drown themselves in it is the best thing since $5 footlongs at Subway.

Loathe It:
I like to think that I’m sorta smart, so I’m embarrassed to not only watch this show, but be totally addicted to it. And know every last detail. Including what kind of heels Jill’s daughter wanted to pack for her summer abroad. (Marc Jacobs. Pathetic, I know.)

Shouldn’t I be watching documentaries on Discovery Channel, or some weird show on TLC? And should I really be contributing to the further success of these rich-tards? With the exception of a few (Bethenny, for sure), these women contribute nothing to society except a few photos for Page 6 and a reason for my mother to call me at 9am on a Saturday to discuss the episode she just watched on her DVR.

We should be giving our attention to people who actually impact our world in a positive way, instead of these useless women who do nothing but lunch and shop and bitch. And then wake up the next day to do it all again. Yes, some of them work, but many of them just marry rich and set an example that money and wealth is the key to happiness. Is that true? Maybe. But is that realistic? Hell no.

And I can’t ignore the fact that this show takes my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. Without fail I end up on my feet (thus dumping my evening snack of dry Kashi Go Lean! all over my floor) yelling at the TV. These women are ridiculous and I can’t handle watching them say and do the dumbest sh*t! And now my snack is on the floor! And now I’m angry at myself because I care so much about this! And now I have to pause it so I can clean up the mess I just made.

Roar!

I know that it’s just a show and I should enjoy it if I want to, but watching this show gives these women power and success they really do not deserve. Is my guilty pleasure really worth elevating these label whores to a higher level, wasting precious cereal and potentially giving me wrinkles?

I just don’t know. I’m totally torn!

I cheated on my last boyfriend.

No, it wasn’t a long, torrid love affair. It wasn’t kinky sex with a Jeremy Piven lookalike. In fact, there was no sex involved. All I did was make out with a co-worker. But still, cheating is cheating, so tonsil hockey still counts in my book. It also counted in my boyfriend’s book. And it counted in his sister’s book…and she was the one who witnessed the fiasco.

It was innocent enough; I didn’t intend to cheat. I wasn’t emotionally attached to my co-worker. We just got blackout drunk at a bar and swapped saliva for about half an hour.

The next morning, I woke up feeling like I’d done something wrong. Yup, I had. My boyfriend’s sister asked me if I remembered making out with “Frank.” Immediately, my heart sank. I got dizzy. I wanted to throw up. My mind started racing a mile a minute, as is standard anxiety-attack protocol. Why would I do something like that with Frank, a guy I had absolutely no interest in, when I was happy and in love with her brother?

A lot of people will disagree with me for saying this, but cheating can be hard on the cheater. I was ashamed of myself, I cried, and I regretted doing so many shots the night before. What’s a cheater to do when they’ve crossed the line with someone else?

1. Ask yourself if it meant anything. Did you cheat because you like the other guy? Do you want a relationship with him? Did you cheat because you aren’t happy with your current boyfriend? I think in my case, deep down, I was scared, because I was in the most serious relationship I’d ever been in. Things were moving fast, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be shackled down and on the fast track to Housewifesville. I think that’s why I dabbled with a guy who meant nothing to me. But that’s my own conclusion. If you’ve cheated on any level (and there are some people out there who believe in emotional cheating as well), you need to get to the root of your own behavior before you can move on and deal with it with your man.

2. Weigh the options: To tell, or not to tell. I pretty much had to tell my boyfriend, because I am the dumbass who decided to cuckold her man in front of his sister. She probably would have told him if I hadn’t done it myself. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t have told, because my conscience gets to me if I snap at a telemarketer, and I probably would have been guilt-ridden for the remaining duration of my relationship if I’d kept it quiet. On the other hand, to what degree does “What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him” apply? Like I said, I wasn’t into my cheating-partner AT ALL. It never happened again, and Frank and I never talked about our random makeout sesh. So even though it meant nothing to Frank and me, it meant a lot of pain for my boyfriend. That said, you have to seriously consider all of the consequences and do what you think is most fair to your man. I’m not saying “Don’t tell him, and avoid being dumped,” because sorry, cheater, you brought this on yourself. But I do believe that there may be some instances where your man might be better off not knowing. That part’s up to you.

3. Talk to him. If you do decide to come clean, the “Hey, sweetie, I collected a DNA sample from another dude” talk isn’t going to be pretty. Telling the truth might be the moral way to go, but you have to realize that when you tell him you cheated, you are putting the ball completely in his court. From here, it’s really his decision as to whether you two work things out, or whether he kicks your ass to the curb. He might need some time to think about things, or you may have to have several discussions to work it out. You have to be patient with your guy– after all, you made the decision to cheat in the first place, so you’ll have to reap what you sew.

4. Prepare for the future. If you have the talk and decide to work things out, you have to commit to NOT cheating again, ever. If your guy can forgive you once, that’s great, but don’t test him a second time. Also, even if he does forgive you, it might be difficult (or even impossible) to get back to the way things were before. He might have difficulty trusting you, and, if he knows the guy you cheated with, he probably won’t want you hanging out with that guy again.

While it’s normal to have a few bumps in the road as you try to work things out, don’t let your guy guilt-trip you forever. Remember, you were honest enough to come clean and work things out, but you don’t deserve to have your mistake hanging over your head for the rest of your life. If you can work things out as mature adults, good for you. If you can’t, and he leaves you, it might suck for a while, but in the end, it was probably meant to be. Another guy will come along… and hopefully you will have learned your lesson and be more faithful the next time around.

Yeah, me either.

Despite the candidates push to get the attention of our generation, I still haven’t done as much homework as I need to on the candidates and their issues.

From getting on MySpace to being interviewed by Tyra Banks, these candidates are speaking to the ladies and gents of our technology savvy generation.

They (finally!) understand that the young people in this country have a voice, and that voice is going to speak loudly in ’08.

This quiz (I know, quizzes, UGH!) is a good precursor to all that candidate homework that is right around the corner. It asks how you feel about a few of the very important issues and tells you how you align with EACH of the presidential candidates.

It’s surprising to see exactly how each candidate feels about the issues that you feel are most important for our country.

I know that there are actual quizzes to take and papers to write, but with the turmoil of our country at the moment, we cannot afford to be apathetic about the presidential elections.

Besides, who doesn’t like to procrastinate with an online quiz?

By the time next year rolls around, I’ll be damn sure to have studied up so I know I am making the right choice based on the right issues.