So, you met this fantastic guy. You’ve been hanging out more and more, spending some nights, meeting up at parties, maybe even going to parties together. Things are great, you have a ton of fun, and damn, can the man kiss! You meet some of his friends, and he meets yours. Maybe you even do the toothbrush drop-off at each other’s houses. Awesome awesome awesome; he’s SO into you!

And then, no matter how great things are going, after about four months (max!) it hits you, and you go insane. And you have to ask: “What ARE we?”

Now, we can all admit that dudes are f’in confusing. I am guilty of this insanity as much as anyone. It makes everyone totally crazy because you just want to know that things are getting serious, and that he’s not secretly plotting to get out soon (or spooning with someone else). But still, I am staunchly anti-DTR (that’s ‘define the relationship’), and let me tell you why.

Generally speaking, there are two reasons for initiating the talk:

1. Things are fabulous, you are happy, and you want to revel in your togetherness as much (and as officially) as possible.

2. You’re unsure of how he’s feeling about the whole situation, and you want a little clarification and security. Read More »

So, you met this fantastic guy. You’ve been hanging out more and more, spending some nights, meeting up at parties, maybe even going to parties together. Things are great, you have a ton of fun, and damn, can the man kiss! You meet some of his friends, and he meets yours. Maybe you even do the toothbrush drop-off at each other’s houses. Awesome awesome awesome; he’s SO into you!

And then, no matter how great things are going, after about four months (max!) it hits you, and you go insane. And you have to ask: “What ARE we?”

Now, we can all admit that dudes are f’in confusing. I am guilty of this insanity as much as anyone. It makes everyone totally crazy because you just want to know that things are getting serious, and that he’s not secretly plotting to get out soon (or spooning with someone else). But still, I am staunchly anti-DTR (that’s ‘define the relationship’), and let me tell you why.

Generally speaking, there are two reasons for initiating the talk:

1. Things are fabulous, you are happy, and you want to revel in your togetherness as much (and as officially) as possible.

2. You’re unsure of how he’s feeling about the whole situation, and you want a little clarification and security. Read More »

In my last blog, I wrote about the splendors of holiday hookups. (If you haven’t read it yet, get on it!) Now that most of us have exhausted the extent of our winter break hook-ups, I thought I’d take a second look at this most treasured of holiday traditions. As it turns out, there are a few things that actually can go wrong…

The Parent Thing: Even though we’ve moved out, most of us hate the thought of our parents knowing anything about our sex lives. This proves to be a huge problem when you’re actually hooking up under their roof. Nothing makes you feel like you’re back in high school more than tip-toeing through your house with a guy in tow. If you stay at his house, on the other hand, you run the risk of being discovered by his Mom and becoming “that slut” that’s sleeping with her baby.

The Small Town Thing: No matter how big of a city you live in, you can’t deny that we live in a very, very small world. And nothing proves that more true than a hometown hookup rumor spreading like a wildfire. I swear, once one person finds out and spills the beans, it’s all over. You can bet by the end of the week anybody and everybody, from his Mom to your 8th grade woodshop teacher, will know of your little rendezvous(s). Or, if you’re like me and accidentally leave a hickey on his neck, you don’t even need anybody to say anything for the entire world to know. My bad. Read More »