Sure, his music is pretty funktabulous, and that Purple Rain movie was by far one of the most amazing, melodramatic films I’ve ever seen, but Prince the guy?

Not so much.

He’s a tiny little man who wears clothes even I can’t fit into, and seems so feminine I was convinced he was a transsexual for most of my young life (not that I actually knew what a transsexual was at the time…I just thought he was a woman who wore a weird mustache).

If you can call a man a Diva, he’s not exactly the man for me.

And the former symbol is most definitely a Diva, as illustrated by the list of demands he had for his swanky London penthouse.

The Daily Star is reporting Mr. Prince demanded his room at the Dorchester Hotel be swaddled completely in black, with everything from the mirrors to the furniture to the frames of pictures of himself also coated in inky darkness. He wanted black candles too, and, oh yeah, an oxygen bar manned by “three foxy ladies”.

A black M&M machine was also requested. I mean, what’s a foxy lady oxygen bar party without loads and loads of M&Ms?

This is not the first time Prince has made intense requests. Last year at the BRIT awards, it’s reported that no one was allowed to look him in the eye (some people may have been happy about that, no bending down needed), and he also wanted a giant mirror in his dressing room to blow up his reflection.

The diminutive star is also allegedly dating his identical Caribbean back-up singers. No word yet on if he makes them call him The Purple One in the sack.

If you stand 5’3” as a man, wear ruffles, moan like a woman, and still manage to bed a pair of hot twins, perhaps you do deserve everything Prince is demanding. A guy like that certainly doesn’t come around often.