During next month’s Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado, hundreds of the city’s homeless will be given movie tickets, passes to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science and the Denver Zoo in an attempt to spare them “being caught up in the mayhem” of the convention. The Colorado Coalition for the Homeless will also be providing bus passes to get to events outside walking distance to facilitate the exodus.

From the Rocky Mountain News:

“We’re trying to let folks know what activities are planned, and what other places they’ll be able to go without being harassed,” [Colorado Coaltion for the Homeless president, John] Parvensky said.

A two-day voter registration drive is also planned at shelters and health clinics to ensure that metro area homeless people have access to the polls in November.

But to everyone some, it all just sounds like a ploy to get rid of the riffraff, as security precautions are being increased for the Convention. The Coalition, however, stands by their claims that they’re just looking out for the interests of their street-sleeping brethren.

Tight security around the Pepsi Center means some homeless people will get booted out of their regular camps along the South Platte River. Then, there’s the protests and parades.

“A person who typically sits under a tree in a park that is now occupied by 1,000 protesters won’t have the peace and quiet they’re desiring,” Parvensky said. “Particularly those with mental illness can’t cope with crowds.”

First of all, I’m not so sure homeless people sit in parks for “peace and quiet.” I think they sit in parks because they don’t have a f**king house. Why don’t we give these people sandwiches, and stick them in a summer class or something? A class about how to get a job, how to be productive, instead of shoving them into a movie theater for a few hours to make the city look like it has less of a problem. And fine, maybe a one day class won’t do much, but it would certainly be taking advantage of everyone’s time better than forcing hundreds of homeless people to sit through “Meet Dave“.