I had gone for almost a solid month without having any massive breakdowns about my future so it was only natural that I spent last Thursday sitting over my computer hysterically (and unattractively) crying about the fact that I had no idea what I was going to do with my life.

I know exactly what I want to do with my life, but after a few months in the real world I’m starting to realize all these “bad economy” rumors are not just urban legend. No one is hiring. I keep expanding my job horizons further and further out to the point where I’m filling out Starbucks applications and assuring myself that writing down orders is the same thing as writing a script.

My summer plan of living with my grandparents and moving out in the fall has turned into my life plan of living with my grandparents and learning how to play bridge with them. All I kept saying as I cried to my mom on the phone was that no one told me it was going to be this hard. I knew it wasn’t going to be college, I knew finding a job would take a while, and I even knew living with my grandparents would give me a natural mothball scent that didn’t come off in the shower.

But I didn’t know that not having college to look forward to in the fall and not having a job and not having alternatives to prune juice in the fridge was going to be so depressing. I met a college sophomore this weekend and before I could stop myself I yelled out, “don’t graduate!” I used to hate when people said that to me – as if you had the option to just not graduate (with the exemption of being a 5th year senior).

I think I’m steps away from telling incoming freshman to cherish their four years because life is all downhill after there. And then I’ll know that I’ve truly entered old age.

After the novelty of college graduation (and all the great gifts that came with it) wore off, I spent a year crying myself to sleep. And I’m not exaggerating. While being done with school after 16 years was pretty liberating, not knowing what was coming next scared the sh*t out of me. And the fact that no one ever warned me how difficult being an adult would be made things a whole lot harder.

I went through a lot that first year – looking for a job, moving to a new city, ending a long relationship, and learning how to care for myself, to name a few – all by myself and now feel that I have the experience and knowledge to advise others on the transition. Because it’s a hard one and every college grad should know that they are not alone. Come back every week for another nugget of information to help you survive in the big, bad world.

My commencement speaker, like most commencement speakers, spent 25 minutes telling my graduating class about the endless possibilities in the real world. He spoke of our bright futures, giving back, and making the world a better place.  The speech was inspiring, but now that I’m on the other side of the cap and gown, I wish he had gone in another direction.

Perhaps he could have taken a more realistic approach and warned us of how hard that first year after college was going to be. And that it was OK to be really, really unhappy.

When you’re a college senior, life after college seems like a glamorous world filled with an awesome new job, an awesome new city, and a bright, successful future. You see all those people who graduated before you living it up and enjoying their new place in the real world.

The reality, though, isn’t quite so bright and cheery. The truth: that first year out of college isn’t always so easy. In fact, it’s pretty sh*tty. Read More »

Considering the fact that I’ve done nothing but sulk (with the occasional break for a anxiety panic attack over my future) since graduation, it’s relatively amazing that I was able to find time in my self despair to write this blog. Graduating college is worse than I ever imagined. Probably because I always imagined going straight from graduation to an awesome job with an awesome apartment in an awesome city. (Thank you, Lauren Conrad!)

Instead I’m sitting at home covered in hummus (I couldn’t find the pita chips so I’ve just been eating it straight) yelling at my sister to answer the damn phone. I can’t take that old-fashioned landline ringing.

My mother’s turned into a hovercraft and a social butterfly. She spends half her time leaving me alone on the couch to go out with friends (pray tell, when did she attain those?) and the other half asking me what would make me feel better. To which I answer, “Umm I would like you to build a time machine and transport me right back to the part of Freshman year where it stopped being awkward.” So far she has failed at this task. She has one more week to reach success before I give her the next “make me feel better task” of finding me a job. Read More »

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And in the game of Bad Habits, you will always come out a loser. As I laid in a tanning bed, I thought about how this bad habit was going to affect me in the long run. Even though I love the immediate benefits of this vice (golden, sun-kissed skin!), I can’t help but worry about my future as a leather-skinned freak. Is the bronze skin of today worth the skin cancer of tomorrow? Let’s examine the dangerous games we play and weigh whether the consequences are worth the benefits:

Tanning

Why We Do It: I am addicted to the healthy glow I get from taking a 20 minute nap in my favorite tanning bed! I feel more relaxed, have less acne, and generally feel less self-conscious. When I’m feeling confident, I can stand up straighter, smile bigger, and show off my legs without feeling embarrassed. I feel like confidence enhances my life and I don’t want to go through my heyday without it. Read More »

I don’t know about you gals, but there’s something about shopping that always puts me in a better mood when I’m down in the dumps.  This is especially true when I’m PMSing–buying myself new, pretty and sparkly things makes me feel so much better about myself (even if trying things on over my bloated ass does not).  Now there’s proof that there may actually be a biological reason for why shopping makes us so happy.

A new study says that women are more likely to go on a shopping spree about 10 days before their period, on which they actually tend to spend more than usual and are more inclined towards making impulse purchases. (Editor’s Note: that explains the Snuggie….) GREAT — as if we needed yet another way PMS ruins our lives. Read More »

Due to a mixture of ugly rain and extreme exhaustion from losing an hour of sleep (seriously, that hour kills me every year!), I spent my Sunday in bed feeling sorry for myself with my laptop and a bag of Doritos. Probably not the best idea considering I have a white Macbook, which now has orange fingerprints all over it.

That is when I found this.

The article discusses women of all ages and our constant comparisons to others, but it really struck me as something college girls deal with daily.

When I force myself to think about it, I realize that I am an accomplished girl. I go to a great university where I excel in my classes, I have great friends, a great family and plenty of awesome life experiences. But I don’t often think that way.

Instead, I am always comparing myself to the people around me. The friend who always gets better grades, the girl who always has the boyfriend, and every single girl who is thinner and prettier than I am.

I constantly find myself thinking that I should have a boyfriend by now, that I should have seen Europe by now, or that I should have done a lot more by this stage in my life than I have. No matter how well I do on an exam, I always think that I should have done better. No matter how good I look before I leave the house, the other girls at the bar look better. Read More »

I always love coming back from break and seeing all my friends. But even though I can’t wait to see certain people, I will do my best to avoid these five “friends “who seem to appear ever year.

The Unnaturally Tan One

While I sat at home watching Full House marathons curled up under my brand-new Snuggie, this person sat on Caribbean beaches for the entire break. While my legs are streaked shades of orange from drugstore tanners, she is glowing with a tan that seems to defy her race. As if I wasn’t already feeling like Casper’s paler cousin, standing next to her makes me feel downright clinically albino.

The Reccesion-Proof One

This holiday season started with my parents interrupting all my wish-list ramblings with words like “recession,” and “depression.” My wants went from an iPhone to a few new Chap Sticks and a (store brand) chocolate bar. So it’s even more un-fun this year to watch this friend unpack all of her new things: an entirely new wardrobe that matches her Blackberry Storm that she can play with while watching her new flat screen. She’s offering to share her new boots and all I can give her in exchange is some relief for her chapped lips.

The Debbie Downer One

My break wasn’t very exciting but I don’t have any legitimate complaints. But she does. A simple, “how was your break” turns into a two-hour impromptu therapy session while she goes on and on about everything from her mom getting laid off to her dog getting hit by a car. While at first I can awkwardly pat her back and offer my condolences, it gets increasingly less easy as she talks about her Christmas tree burning down, the loss of her lucky penny, and her cat’s unhealthy addiction to alcohol. Read More »

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you.

So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

The Drunk Email:

The boy you love just broke your heart, so your girlfriends decide that drinking is in order. Because nothing numbs the pain quite like a few shots of SoCo. Together with your roommates, you pick out a super hot outfit (consisting of some combination of low cut top/push up bra), take a few pre-gaming shots and head out the door to either “show him what he’s missing,” or “forget about that prick.” Read More »

According to a recent study in the UK, the weight of a woman will fluctuate in stages over the course of her relationship.

I know what you are thinking: who needs a study to figure this out? I agree, ladies, and so do my fat jeans.

But while we all know how quickly we turn to ice cream when our BF breaks up with us, I don’t think anyone has really given much thought to the many stages of a college relationship and how they affect our bodies.

Mostly, by making us fat.

The following are typical gains and losses over the course of a rather tumultuous college relationship. Weigh in (haha) on what makes you fluctu-weight. (See what I did there? Yeah, I’m good.):

Lose 5 pounds when we first meet the man – after that one-nighter in the bathroom we want to make sure we are hot enough to keep him from doing that with anyone else.

Gain 5 pounds back when the boy starts sleeping over and we know he’s all ours.

Gain another 5 pounds (in cake) when we find out that man has indeed taken another girl to the bathroom our special place.

Lose 15 pounds due to too-depressed-to-eat syndrome/”Just wait until he sees me now!” Read More »

You want nothing more than to slap your boss. And then to quit your job. You want to spit in your professor’s face. You want to tell your parents you’re joining the circus to make money for crack…JUST TO PISS THEM OFF. Today is the day you tell your best friend that those jeans DO make her ass look big because HER ASS IS BIG. You want to list off all of your exes to your guy who have been better in bed. That’s right. This is what I refer to as a “SCREW EVERYONE” day.

And they should never be spent without a soundtrack. So me and my Ipod went and made a playlist for these days.

“Spent on Rainy Days” BRIGHT EYES (Indie)

“Blueprint” FUGAZI (Punk)

“Gravity” DRESDEN DOLLS (Rock)

“Today is the day” MOROS EROS (Indie/Experimental)

“The Egg” SHINER (Indie/Alternative)

“The Other” ISIS (Experimental/Metal)

“The Never Aftermath” THE END (Metal/Ambient)

“In The Belly Of A Shark” GALLOWS (Punk/Rock)

“Complete and utter confusion” FEAR BEFORE THE MARCH OF FLAMES (Experimental/Rock)

“Set fire to the face on fire” THE BLOOD BROTHERS (Other/Punk)

So instead of taking your Screw Everyone day out on the people around you…why not just put on these songs and let out your angst the old fashioned way? You know…like a 14-year-old who just slammed her bedroom door in her mom’s face. And then locked the door. And then wrote “Screw EVERYONE” in her blog.