[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you.

So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

The Drunk Email:

The boy you love just broke your heart, so your girlfriends decide that drinking is in order. Because nothing numbs the pain quite like a few shots of SoCo. Together with your roommates, you pick out a super hot outfit (consisting of some combination of low cut top/push up bra), take a few pre-gaming shots and head out the door to either “show him what he’s missing,” or “forget about that prick.” Read More »

According to a recent study in the UK, the weight of a woman will fluctuate in stages over the course of her relationship.

I know what you are thinking: who needs a study to figure this out? I agree, ladies, and so do my fat jeans.

But while we all know how quickly we turn to ice cream when our BF breaks up with us, I don’t think anyone has really given much thought to the many stages of a college relationship and how they affect our bodies.

Mostly, by making us fat.

The following are typical gains and losses over the course of a rather tumultuous college relationship. Weigh in (haha) on what makes you fluctu-weight. (See what I did there? Yeah, I’m good.):

Lose 5 pounds when we first meet the man – after that one-nighter in the bathroom we want to make sure we are hot enough to keep him from doing that with anyone else.

Gain 5 pounds back when the boy starts sleeping over and we know he’s all ours.

Gain another 5 pounds (in cake) when we find out that man has indeed taken another girl to the bathroom our special place.

Lose 15 pounds due to too-depressed-to-eat syndrome/”Just wait until he sees me now!” Read More »

You want nothing more than to slap your boss. And then to quit your job. You want to spit in your professor’s face. You want to tell your parents you’re joining the circus to make money for crack…JUST TO PISS THEM OFF. Today is the day you tell your best friend that those jeans DO make her ass look big because HER ASS IS BIG. You want to list off all of your exes to your guy who have been better in bed. That’s right. This is what I refer to as a “SCREW EVERYONE” day.

And they should never be spent without a soundtrack. So me and my Ipod went and made a playlist for these days.

“Spent on Rainy Days” BRIGHT EYES (Indie)

“Blueprint” FUGAZI (Punk)

“Gravity” DRESDEN DOLLS (Rock)

“Today is the day” MOROS EROS (Indie/Experimental)

“The Egg” SHINER (Indie/Alternative)

“The Other” ISIS (Experimental/Metal)

“The Never Aftermath” THE END (Metal/Ambient)

“In The Belly Of A Shark” GALLOWS (Punk/Rock)

“Complete and utter confusion” FEAR BEFORE THE MARCH OF FLAMES (Experimental/Rock)

“Set fire to the face on fire” THE BLOOD BROTHERS (Other/Punk)

So instead of taking your Screw Everyone day out on the people around you…why not just put on these songs and let out your angst the old fashioned way? You know…like a 14-year-old who just slammed her bedroom door in her mom’s face. And then locked the door. And then wrote “Screw EVERYONE” in her blog.

So, has anyone else noticed that dolls are getting really slutty?

First, the world had to deal with Bratz. Strange, big headed dolls with too much make-up and really skanky outfits. Dolls that—as far as I can tell—are totally aimed at creating 4th grade fashion disasters.

Besides making it seem cool to be so skinny your head looks like a watermelon, Bratz embody insipidness, sluttiness, and vapidness, limiting girls’ imaginations to taking their dolls to the “mall”, buying their dolls “stuff”, and seeing how many times their doll is mistaken for a hooker on the doll sidewalk.

Gone are the days when girls would be satisfied with a long, frilly pink dress for their dolls. Gone are the innocent one-piece bathing suits and “career” outfits. Now, thigh high stockings, tiny shirts, and skirts so short you can totally almost see plastic doll butt are all the rage.

Illustrating this disgusting theory even further is Barbie’s—or rather, Mattell’s—answer to the Bratz dynasty: My Scene Barbie. Read More »