Well, this kid's screwed.

Sixth grade was a rough year for me. I was sitting at the semi-popular table at lunch and was delusional enough to think I was the cat’s pajamas. Looking back, I simply was not. Maybe because I used phrases like “the cat’s pajamas.”  And now, a Swedish study is telling me that my unpopularity will cause me to suffer from heart disease and diabetes later in life and I will most likely start doing drugs and try to kill myself.

If I had known this when I was 13, I would have combed my hair on a more regular basis.

The study, which is most definitely making me want to eat enough candy to put me in a diabetic coma/do drugs/crawl into my bed and cry, was done by Stockholm University and the Karolinska Institute and assessed children in sixth grade for their degree of “popularity, power and social status.”

Now, I have to ask: What kind of power were they expecting from a 13-year-old child? His ability to convince a girl in his class to go 7 Minutes in Heaven with him?

Popularity is such a trivial theory. And no, I’m not just saying this because I’m bitter that I’m at greater risk for alcohol dependency than others. Popularity in middle school ran parallel to who had the best desserts in his or her Power Rangers/My Little Pony lunchbox. By eighth grade, you were considered a cool girl if you had boobs and a cool guy if you were allowed to touch them. If you made it to second base, you were destined to be popular in high school. And if you went to an all-girls high school like I did, well no one was popular in that case. Read More »

I need more tissue.

Newsflash: No one likes to be dumped. It’s the ultimate feeling of being unwanted, unloved, and just not good enough.

Welcome to the last month of my life. After spending the last year hoping to do so, I finally reconnected with my high school sweetheart — someone I had tons of history with and who knows me better than anyone. After many, many ups and downs, it turns out that college life (even when it was the summer) was just not conducive to our relationship. I could sugar coat it saying that “we broke up,” but the truth is that I was dumped. Ouch.

At this point I should probably clarify that I’m not hating on this guy (or even angry), especially since his reasons for ending it were completely justified. That being said, losing the person you’re closest to is just not an easy thing to do. Not only are you losing what you had in the relationship, but oftentimes you could be losing a best friend as well.

So what do you do? As much as it might feel like your world is ending, spending more that 3 days in your pajamas on the couch watching P.S. I Love You calls for a heartbreak intervention. While the sting of being relationship sh*t-canned will stick around for a little while, it’s important to get back on your feet. I hope these tips will help.

Don’t play the blame game. While it’s really easy to start hating on the SOB who broke your heart, it’s important to remember that relationships often end. Unless your man cheated on you (in which case, I hope you dumped his ass), the breakup is quite possibly nobody’s “fault.” Chances are that you’ve both made some mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and for sure nobody is perfect in a relationship. As much as it sucks, sometimes things just don’t work out. Read More »

Did Sarah Palin tell anyone of her plans?

Is this recession going to be a depression?

Miley Cyrus is single, y’all.

What not to say on date numero uno.

Did Chris Brown steal Kanye’s lady?

A final tribute to Billy Mays.

Health guidelines and facts are constantly changing as we learn more about the human body and what we need to stay strong. To maintain optimal health, you need to keep up to date with the newest in fitness, nutrition and medical research.

Check out the latest headlines about that unique body of yours:

- My morning cup (or 7) of Joe has been my favorite workout buddy for a long time. Not only does it give me energy, but new research proves that it lessens the pain that comes after an intense workout! Caffeine blocks the brain and spinal cord from processing the biochemical adenosine, preventing pain during and after your spin on the stationary bike. You don’t need to drink as much caffeine as I do (shoot…I shouldn’t be drinking as much caffeine as I do!) to feel the benefits. A modest 2 cup serving of java will do the trick. Just don’t go overboard; if you’re heart rate is too high, working out may be more difficult than necessary. Read More »

What a coincidence it is that April is both Stress Awareness Month and when we all take finals. Cruel trick, world. A cruel trick, indeed.

Instead of grabbing a cigarette or another cup of coffee, use exercise this year as a way to alleviate the overwhelming feelings that come with cramming a semester’s worth of information into a few study sessions.

Clinically proven, exercise naturally decreases the amount of stress hormones your body produces and counteracts your body’s normal stress response. By working out regularly, your body will better be able to handle finals week and allow you to get in the amount of studying you desperately need. It will allow the burden of 2 tests in one day seem much less daunting than it really is. It will make the inevitable ‘F’ seem like a very doable passing grade.

So just take a deep breath and put on those sneakers before you hit the books. Read More »

Ever have one of those weeks, where it just feels like nothing is going right? No money, no job, no plans for the weekend. I can tell you first hand, it sucks. We all get down once in a while and let’s be honest here – this economy isn’t helping anyone’s mood. Sometimes we just want something, anything to make us feel better. Unfortunately, chocolate’s not cutting it, and either is sitting home watching that America’s Next Top Model marathon on the couch. So what’s a broke college kid to do?

How ’bout some new boobs?

Yeah, you heard me right – a new rack could be your solution to the no-money blues. The Sun is reporting that breast augmentation is the latest trend among the jobless. Because spending $10,000 is a great idea when you don’t have an income. The idea is that any advantage on a job interview is a good one, especially when it involves first appearances.

That’s where I get a little lost though; why would a bigger chest signify a more qualified employee?  I understand ironing your shirt or shining your shoes, but implants? Really? Major invasive cosmetic surgery is really the route you want to go to give yourself that little something extra on an interview? Color me confused, because unless you are being interviewed to become the next Playboy centerfold, I really don’t think double Ds are going to help. Read More »

A recent poll on CollegeCandy showed that many of us know people in our lives who are suffering from an Eating Disorder. Not only did those results remind me of a very sad truth for our demographic, but they also made me realize that the only way to change that truth is to provide people with the tools necessary to help a friend in need.

I was anorexic and then bulimic for about two years before ultimately recovering. I have also had a few friends go down the Eating Disorder path, so I feel like I have been on both sides of the predicament and truly understand the best methods for reaching out to someone who is suffering from this brutal and debilitating disease.

The most important method for helping people help their friends is awareness, so first let me dispel some E.D myths. Read More »

Some women get to have the dreamy, stereotypical first time. The love of your life surprises you with a romantic evening alone and it ends up in the bedroom. He tells you he loves you and all that jazz.

Well, you know what? Some of us would like to forget our first time, and “some of us” includes me. I’m not saying I regret it, but I sure as heck wish I’d put more thought into it and had better judgement.

I was young and stupid, and depressed. I was 16, a junior in high school, and had never been in love. My friends were hooking up and wondering why I’d never been able to have a boyfriend for longer than a week. I was never the “It” girl, I was more of the “one of the guys” girl. I’d never been told I was beautiful by any guy, I’d never been told I love you by anyone besides my parents.

So, my self-esteem really wasn’t all that great when my ex-boyfriend put the moves on me. During a play rehearsal. In a storage closet. And the cherry on top was the fact that after 2 minutes he just got dressed and left. TOTAL D-BAG!!!!! Read More »

Have you heard? The economy is in a downward spiral! People are losing their homes, their jobs, and all of the money they’ve been saving forever! And here we are, a bunch of wide-eyed, “the world is our oyster” college kids who can’t wait to get out into the real world!

Oh yeah, and we are poor.

Between those student loans we are gonna have to pay back and the fact that we may not be able to get a job upon graduating, we gotta start eating canned goods saving now. So, how are our writers handling this economic situation (A.K.A. sh*tstorm)? Here are their tips for saving money and stretching a dollar. Read More »

The stock market is low. Really effing low. The lowest it’s been in a long ass time.

And people are freaking out.

So, in an effort to ease people’s minds, George Bush spoke. He interrupted my morning dose of Ellen Degeneres for about 7 minutes to explain what is going on and how the US Government is going to fix it. But that 7 minutes can be summed up in 2 simple sentences:

Things are bad – we caused the economy to decline worldwide – but they are going to get better. Just chill the eff out.

So, let’s relax, people. Forget about your money in the bank, your student loans, and the fact that you can’t afford your Easy Mac. Grab a bottle of your favorite (cheap) vodka, kick back on your couch and chillax.

Everything is gonna be ok!